willowbiblio's reviews
444 reviews

Didn't Nobody Give a Shit What Happened to Carlotta by James Hannaham

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challenging dark emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

 "It's really just laziness, ain't it, like the less rights you think a motherfucker got, the less you think you gotta recanize that that person be a real person with a brain an feelings an children an parents, an that they lives and they struggles be real an not just some mumbo jumbo crapped out a bird's ass on your windshield. The less you think you gotta care about another person, the less you *do* care."
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I expected this book to be excellent, and it was something even greater. Carlotta Mercedes had so much capacity for joy and a wonder for this "new" world that was infectious. I loved the constant shift from third to first person- a narration of Carlotta's actions/circumstance and an immediate switch to her inner dialogue.

She was so funny and so aware of her why. Her bravery to share her story of abuse to Doodle and her awareness during the disclosure of how alien the world she was describing is was devastating. I was so sad for her at towards the end, because of how the system was just designed for her to fail and not remotely to support her reentry. But I loved that we were able to reconnect with her at the end and see that her hope for herself is still there.

Hannaham pulled no punches in his commentary on gentrification, the prison system, transphobia, racism, and the loneliness of the modern age. There were moments when Carlotta's soliloquies felt like Hannaham philosophizing, but I actually enjoyed it.

I loved how immersive this book was- the dialect especially. And mostly, I loved Carlotta's resilience in a world that had transformed, and her determination to believe in better things. 

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Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

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dark emotional inspiring sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

"I suppose one of the reasons we're all able to continue to exist for our allotted span in this green and blue vale of tears is that there is always, however remote it might seem, the possibility of change."
----------------
This book kind of felt like two distinct halves. The beginning felt almost unreal because of Eleanor's complete lack of awareness of the impact of her words and actions on others. It was also confusing because it sort of felt like the author was ascribing these challenges exclusively to childhood trauma.

The second half felt so strong, and gave me the sense that the author has been intimately familiar with substance abuse, PTSD, and depression. The way that she wrote about loneliness was so apt, like it's this thing we are ashamed of in this age of ultimate connectedness. Yet so many of us really are alone and isolated.

I think I was also confused by the interactions with Eleanor's coworkers and the way they bullied her. This added to the unreal quality of the first half, but I may also just be lucky to have never been in a work environment with that kind of overt bullying. 

I loved the friendship with Roy and how, bit by bit, Eleanor learned to trust and care for someone else. The way that so many women gave her unconditional acceptance, assistance, and support was truly beautiful. I also loved how Eleanor was so devoted to her cat, because I've had those moments of feeling responsible to care for myself so I can care for my cats. I was definitely surprised a bit by the plot twist with Mummy at the end!

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The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

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dark emotional sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

 "Game, my ass. Some game. If you get on the side where all the hot-shots are, then it's a game all right - I'll admit that. But if you got on the *other* side, where there aren't any hot-shots, then what's a game about it? Nothing. No game."
-------------------
Holden Caulfield is an extremely sensitive and empathetic teenage boy. He's living through a sense of profound isolation and unresolved grief from the loss of a brother he idolized. He lives apart from his sister, Phoebe, one of the only people he truly likes. I found his character to be sympathetic because of how out of place he was. It brought to mind the idea from "Hello Beautiful"- it's sane to be insane in this world. Holden's rage and compassion commingled within him to result in help for others and harm to himself.

Despite this very strong character this book was really hard for me to get into. I think the tone was hard for me to place, and I didn't like the repetition of Holden/Salinger's phrases. At times it felt difficult to separate the author's identity from the character.

I didn't love how some really traumatic/difficult experiences felt like they were thrown at the reader, then vanished into the wind
(the suicide of James, Allie's death, the attempted assault by Holden's ex-teacher, mention of other assaults).
  It felt really unresolved to me.

I think that was my biggest challenge, that so many scenes and the book itself felt more like an unfinished thought than a supposed masterpiece. It's possible that was the intention, or that it was due to the original serialized nature of this text prior to being in novel form. That all may have gone over my head.

I can see how this would be meaningful in adolescence; as a survivor of CSA and someone who struggled with similar things I would have related to this deeply had I read it as a teen. Maybe I've just grown up/healed a bit too much for this to click well for me today.
Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

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emotional reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

 "Here, she found, everything had nuance; everything had an unrevealed side or unexplained depths. Everything was worth looking at more closely."
-----------------
This was an incredible book. Even the first line communicated so much about the story that would lead the reader back to that moment. Everyone knows everyone, gossip is central, and there is a proper/expected way to behave in Shaker Heights. The community prioritizes appearances above all, choosing to hide/ignore "blemishes".

This was also occurring within the Richardson home, so Pearl and Mia were natural disruptors of that. I deeply disliked Elena's entitlement and self-justification, but Ng helped us to see how multifaceted her character was. You could disagree with her, but understand how she saw the world. Elena's insistence on centering herself in every tragedy was infuriating but so real for her. She couldn't fathom that Mia's support of Bebe was anything other than an attack on *her* friend.

There was this ongoing theme of motherhood and the connection between mothers and daughters, which was beautiful.
That everyone but Elena was reunited with their biological daughters
felt like an interesting form of poetic justice- she would now suffer the same loss she had tried to inflict on others (maliciously or not).

I loved Izzy's character. She was so sensitive and had such a strong moral compass in a world that demanded ignorance and compliance. Moody was promising at first, but turned out to be just the same as his mother, and in that he let himself and Pearl down. He used his own pain and sense of entitlement to justify actions that weren't aligned with his professed love and friendship for Pearl.

I liked that every point had a counterpoint. Nobody was all good or bad, every action had a justification based on that character's standpoint. Ng made it clear how she felt about this suburban landscape, but left the reader to decide where they landed and what they felt was right, or fair, or true.

Inherent in the Shaker Heights community, the Richardsons, and Elena is their privilege to levy judgment. They were never running the same race as Mia, Pearl, Bebe, and others, and always had inherent advantage. Elena's thought of "I would never let that happen to me" ignores that she would never have been in that position because of her privilege and access to resources. It wasn't a moral failing from others, but she is incapable of seeing that lives are different to her own. Even the Richardson children were continually surprised by the fact that other kinds of lives existed.

This book was such a powerful way to explore these topics, and I especially loved the continual theme of sparks and fire. Not overdone, but reminding you of the ultimate outcome- a burned out shell of a house in the interest of renewal. 
Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt

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emotional mysterious slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0

 "You don't recover. Not all the way. But you do move on. You have to."
-----------------------
This is an unexpectedly complicated reviewing experience for me. I *LOVED* reading this with the Reading is Subjective Book Club, but I felt pretty neutral about the book itself. It started really strong with Marcellus' emotionally complex character, but sort of lumbered to the final pages. Based on the synopsis, I expected a lot more page time for Marcellus, and honestly would have preferred that.

The reveal happened way too soon for it to be momentous to me when Tova
handed Cameron the ring. 
I also felt like Van Pelt made Marcellus redundant to the plot because Ethan knew the connection already, as did other characters. It felt like the whole octopus friendship thing was a marketing gimmick.

I took a star off for Van Pelt's non-ironic use of the term "perky boobs". I cannot stand that phrase and the underlying nonsense. Cameron's character was deeply unlikeable for 99% of the book, and the 1% of his redemption at the end was rushed with no foundation laid. It felt inauthentic. The dialogue in general also felt really clunky to me.

I liked how Van Pelt wrote about Tova's grief, but I felt like her character was almost unrealistic in her stubbornness. Her shift to openness also felt really sudden/rushed. I think I was just expecting a very different book and so I was thrown off by this. Some of the tone (mostly Cameron) also felt a bit juvenile.

Love the club, felt meh about the book. April is much more promising!! 
The Portrait of a Lady by Henry James

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emotional reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

"She rested her weariness upon things that had crumbled for centuries and yet still were upright; she dropped her secret sadness into the silence of lonely places, where its very modern quality detached itself and grew objective, so that as she sat in a sun-warmed angle on a winter's day, or stood in a mouldy church to which no one came, she could almost smile at it and think of its smallness."
-------------------
This was so close to 5 stars, but some of the slower paced scene setting and character descriptions bored me to tears.

I found it so interesting that the novel as a whole metamorphized along with Isabel. It began as a fairly light, whimsical, and silly story- especially the wry humor in dialogue. As she got further from her self and deeper entangled in others' plots/intrigue, the tone of the novel became more serious and melancholy.

I also loved the parallel of Touchett Sr. and Ralph Touchett dying at Gardencourt, an unchanging place, but Isabel underwent extreme challenges and changes and so she herself was almost an entirely other person, echoing the actions but not the sentiments of the earlier death in the novel. This made the contrast even more clear. 
 

What she was most afraid of, losing her freedom, came to pass in part out of the ignorance/arrogance of youth. Each of the women in Isabel's life represented a distinct kind of womanhood- all held up in sequence as potential lives for Isabel. In the end, she chose none of them. 

There was also a kind of bitter irony that Ralph's intention to free Isabel through financial independence was the thing that led to her capture. Without her wealth, Osmond would never have pursued Isabel. It seems James wanted to lay the blame foremost with Osmond, because he gives us sympathetic insight into Mme Merle's motives and wretchedness, but really they all played a part.
 
Bunny by Mona Awad

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adventurous dark emotional funny mysterious reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

  "I mean, why bother if I'm just going to *tell you exactly*. Where's the fun in that? Why bother making art at all?"
-----------------------
I didn't expect to be quite so smitten with this book, but here we are. Awad is incredible. This is a sort of mix of Heathers, Fight Club, a parody of The Secret History, and something entirely new. Throughout the book she drops hints about Samantha's condition- her extremely vivid internal landscape, talking to the bunnies,
the woman on the bus reading the schizophrenia pamphlet.
  But she also consistently keeps the reader, and Samantha, guessing at *which* parts aren't real.

Samantha's extreme disdain covers for an immense longing to belong and be seen. Samantha is deeply lonely, so of course she becomes a Bunny for a time. She is an unreliable narrator- something I tend to dislike. But Awad executes it perfectly. We know that the Bunnies have always tried to include Samantha, but her solitude and separatness is integral to her selfhood.

The scene where "Rob" screamed at Samantha was so perfectly sequenced.
Awad was describing these truly horrific scenes of murder of the Darlings and gore of the exploding bunnies, and 
yet they were balanced so well with the humor of dialogue and banality/inanity of bickering between the Bunnies that the scenes were tolerable.

Part 2 opened with repetition, but a shift. "They" became "we", and the singular first person "I" also became "we". Being with Ava created a clear switch back to that singular first person: a reclamation of self. I loved the parallel of Max waving to Ava, and Samantha to the Bunnies, and the way Awad was teasing the truth to the reader then.

I also loved how Awad's voice was so clear in the criticism from
Bunny-Lion and Bunny-Ursula,
sort of heading off critique of the novel itself. The characters, surreal quality, suspension of disbelief, immersion, and incredibly strong use of literary techniques was astounding. Mona Awad is a genius in this novel. 
Testament of Youth by Vera Brittain

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dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

4.0

"One had to go on living because it was less trouble than finding a way out, but the early ideals of the war were all shattered, trampled into the mud which covered the bodies of those with whom I had shared them."
---------------------
I cried at least 4 separate times while reading this book. The constant awareness from Brittain and her loved ones of the closeness of death was just astounding. It was truly heartbreaking to witness Brittain's transformation from a passionate, sure teenage Oxford student to an ex-nurse who lost almost all the contemporaries that were dear to her.

The losses of Roland and Edward were especially poignant as they deeply understood Brittain. They also felt this major drive to put themselves at the Front and right in the thick of things, which ultimately led to their demise. But it was this indoctrinated characterization of bravery, heroism, and patriotism that led to such immense waste and loss of life during WWI. 
 

We witness a kind of awakening in Brittain that is completely devastating. To then witness her attempt to find some kind of purpose and meaning in a world of peers who have no way to relate to her, and vice versa, was incredibly sad. 

I took off a star because I really had to push through the first 50 pages- they just didn't capture me. Similarly, much of the last 50-100 pages sort of lost me. I'm not 100% sure why, maybe it was the pacing or the dichotomy when held up to the depth of what occurred during the body of the novel (the war years). At any rate, this was a beautiful book and I especially loved the inclusion of her and Roland's poetry.
Saint X by Alexis Schaitkin

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challenging dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

 "We see so little of people. We forget how much submerged darkness there is around us at every moment. We forget until we're forced to remember."
-----------------------
This book continually surprised me. Both for the plot itself and the for the depth of self-examination and reflection it achieved in me and the characters. The way Schaitkin described such a complex and loaded power imbalance as vacation at a luxury resort on a tropical island was stunning. I love how she tied the gentrification of the island in Clive's flashbacks to a concurrent transformation of Brooklyn. I also thought Schaitkin's emphasis on the massive resources that were devoted to finding one missing white girl in a sea of other micro-aggressions and injustices was so poignant.

Claire's obsession with Clive becomes so total that she loses everything of importance in her life, and yet what she learns doesn't satisfy her. This is also a lesson about how to move forward when horrific things happen in your life and you don't get an explanation, something I am intimately familiar with. At some point, your life has to move on from that thing so it can stop consuming you. Schaitkin captured this experience well.

I think Clive's explanation also forced me to question why there were moments I too had thought he or Edwin were culpable. Instead, for him, the secret he was keeping was much more dangerous and life-shattering than assumed murder. It made me reflect about what growing up in different cultures means when these individuals are forced into the same scenario, and how that informs each of our perceptions. I also loved the minor character interludes. They added another layer of context and "truth".

Excellent book, strongly recommend this to everyone. 
Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

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emotional reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

 "And as much as a person might try to shield herself from it, the possibility for the other outcome was always there. We are all living, at most, half of a life, she thought. There was the life you lived, which consisted of the choices you made. And then, there was the other life, the one that was the things you hadn't chosen."
----------------------
There were elements of this book that were fantastic, and a few that felt sort of lackluster. I liked how Zevin used things like interviews and articles to tease future plot developments. I also enjoyed how Sam and Marx's characters and friendship developed.

I felt like Sadie's POV was incredibly emotionally flat, which was disappointing given the scope of the issues her character was being used to address. I also felt like there was a strange cognitive dissonance, either intentional or not from Zevin, regarding her relationship with Dov vs. Sam. I thought the Pioneers interlude at the end was odd and felt sort of jarring to read so close to the end of the novel, with very little closure for the main characters.

I did like how Zevin explored the concept of how our misunderstandings/assumptions about one another can lead to a sort of compounding effect that is hard to get away from. I also really enjoyed the various worlds and games there were created, and how Zevin used them a as a reflection and growth point for the characters throughout the story.

I'm glad I read this but not certain if it was 100% worth all the hype for me. I'd be interested to see how her other novels compare! 

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