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On a Sunbeam by Tillie Walden
3.0
I'll start with: I wasn't too excited to read this considering my resistance with reading Fun Home, another sapphic graphic novel.
Taking place in a distant dimension, Mia joins a crew that restores old, abandoned buildings in space. While becoming family with this crew, Mia opens up about her old high school crush whom she never said goodbye to and never heard of again. With the help of her new friends, Mia goes on a dangerous mission to find her lost love.
A cute, fluffy read about women in love and only women. Their universe is made up of only women identifying characters (though we do have a non-binary main character) that was quite pleasant to pick up on when men were never mentioned or male equivalents like dads or boyfriends. The romance is soft and very much oriented for a young audience but beautiful nonetheless. The universe the author is able to construct is amazing and I wish there was a companion piece to understanding the intricacies of life in this space and time. And finally, the art! I was totally prepared to not dwell on the art and just kind of make my way through the dialogue but I had to pause and take it all in. Everything is so beautiful.
Recommend to anyone who needs a change in pace, something to slow them down.
Taking place in a distant dimension, Mia joins a crew that restores old, abandoned buildings in space. While becoming family with this crew, Mia opens up about her old high school crush whom she never said goodbye to and never heard of again. With the help of her new friends, Mia goes on a dangerous mission to find her lost love.
A cute, fluffy read about women in love and only women. Their universe is made up of only women identifying characters (though we do have a non-binary main character) that was quite pleasant to pick up on when men were never mentioned or male equivalents like dads or boyfriends. The romance is soft and very much oriented for a young audience but beautiful nonetheless. The universe the author is able to construct is amazing and I wish there was a companion piece to understanding the intricacies of life in this space and time. And finally, the art! I was totally prepared to not dwell on the art and just kind of make my way through the dialogue but I had to pause and take it all in. Everything is so beautiful.
Recommend to anyone who needs a change in pace, something to slow them down.
The Essential Dykes to Watch Out for by Alison Bechdel
3.0
Completely an expert on identifying the dykes I need to watch out for now. No more comments, your honor.
My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Nagata Kabi
4.0
So I totally just binge-read this. Heads up major trigger warnings: self-harm, eating disorders, depression, suicidal thoughts.
I was uncomfortable throughout but it’s a very honest depiction of mental illness and just wanting to not feel so lonely and learning to love yourself. Or at least realizing that you don’t love yourself and wanting to change that. Will be rereading.
I was uncomfortable throughout but it’s a very honest depiction of mental illness and just wanting to not feel so lonely and learning to love yourself. Or at least realizing that you don’t love yourself and wanting to change that. Will be rereading.
Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
3.0
"... be glad of your growing, into which you can take no one else with you, and be good to those that remain behind... and do not frighten them with your confidence or joy, which they could not comprehend."
A beautiful collection of letters encouraging one to look within, to pay attention to every feeling no matter how uncomfortable. To rejoice in solitude because as a poet, the art is within oneself. The art should be vulnerable and unforced. Some nice bits about loneliness in a time like now that I can reflect upon.
A beautiful collection of letters encouraging one to look within, to pay attention to every feeling no matter how uncomfortable. To rejoice in solitude because as a poet, the art is within oneself. The art should be vulnerable and unforced. Some nice bits about loneliness in a time like now that I can reflect upon.
The "Wolfman" and Other Cases by Sigmund Freud
1.0
What a monster of a book! Anyway, summary time!
Summary
1. Analysis of a phobia in a Five-year-old Boy ['Little Hans']: He is a boy afraid of horses and possibly losing his penis. There is for sure mentioning of wanting to be his father's sexual mate and does not want siblings. I read this part months ago, idk.
2. Some Remarks on a Case of Obsessive-compulsive Neurosis [The 'Ratman']: Again for sure some daddy issues, except his ocd habits fall from not wanting to let him down or be punished by rats as he saw once during his serve in the military.
3. From the History of an Infantile Neurosis [The 'Wolfman']: Huge daddy issues stemming from seeing his parents during intercourse from behind. Lots of influence of a tale about a wolf losing its tail tying into his fear of castration reinforced by threats of losing his penis and being like his sister. Very young boy.
4. Some Character Types Encountered in Psychoanalytic Work: By far the best piece in this book. Interesting takes on Lady Macbeth and the character reversals between her and Macbeth. Another wonderful take on Ibsen's Rosmersholm tying into the Oedipal Complex. And a nice breakdown of people committing crimes stemming from a sense of guilt they may not know its source but once the crime is committed, they feel relief because the new guilt is earned.
Summary
Spoiler
1. Analysis of a phobia in a Five-year-old Boy ['Little Hans']: He is a boy afraid of horses and possibly losing his penis. There is for sure mentioning of wanting to be his father's sexual mate and does not want siblings. I read this part months ago, idk.
2. Some Remarks on a Case of Obsessive-compulsive Neurosis [The 'Ratman']: Again for sure some daddy issues, except his ocd habits fall from not wanting to let him down or be punished by rats as he saw once during his serve in the military.
3. From the History of an Infantile Neurosis [The 'Wolfman']: Huge daddy issues stemming from seeing his parents during intercourse from behind. Lots of influence of a tale about a wolf losing its tail tying into his fear of castration reinforced by threats of losing his penis and being like his sister. Very young boy.
4. Some Character Types Encountered in Psychoanalytic Work: By far the best piece in this book. Interesting takes on Lady Macbeth and the character reversals between her and Macbeth. Another wonderful take on Ibsen's Rosmersholm tying into the Oedipal Complex. And a nice breakdown of people committing crimes stemming from a sense of guilt they may not know its source but once the crime is committed, they feel relief because the new guilt is earned.
Tell it to the Bees by Fiona Shaw
Summary:
Dr. Jean Markham has inherited her too-large home. Her days consist of non-stop doctoring whether at her surgery or house calls and caring for her bees. Lydia Weekes has been working at the wireless factory for 10 years now since being disowned by her father after marrying her husband, Robert, and following him to his hometown.
Charlie Weekes knows his mom, Lydia, is sad and that his dad isn't around. One day, after Charlie gets into a fight over rumors of his dad, Robert, having another woman he meets Dr. Markham. She has a model of a beehive in her office that Charlie is drawn to. She invites him over to meet her bees whenever he wants. Dr. Markham tells him the bees keep secrets. He shares his mom is sad.
Lydia is worried about this doctor that spends so much time with Charlie. Jean invites her over to tea. Lydia likes to read so Jean lets her borrow some books. Meanwhile, Robert is cheating on Lydia and has moved out slowly and stopped paying the rent. Charlie learns this on a visit to his Aunt Pam's to see his cousin Annie. Aunt Pam resents Lydia and Charlie for taking her brother, Robert, from her whom she raised after their parents death.
As Jean and Lydia get closer, Jean starts to notice the way she knows Lydia so well and pays particular attention to her style of dress and appearance. When Jean invites Lydia to a hike to a beautiful place, Lydia kisses her wondering why Jean invited her. They don't speak of it. When it is time for the harvesting of the honey, Jean's friend, married couple Jim and Sarah, and their daughters arrive to celebrate, Lydia included. Charlie sets a jar aside for his dad he knows he won't be able to give him. Robert has not tried to contact Charlie at all.
When Lydia's friend, Dot, invites her out to dancing, Lydia dances with a man but wishes it were Jean instead. After a night of restlessness, she walks all the way to Jean's home and confesses to her that she has never felt this way for another woman. Something changes in their relationship that night.
One day, Lydia receives an eviction notice. Lydia invites her to move in with her. Her home is plenty big for all three of them and she's been meaning to get a new housekeeper even for just appearances sake. Lydia loudly declines because it would be different as they are in a relationship. After Lydia gets sick and is unable to work, Jean takes them to her childhood seaside home. While Lydia recovers, they make love for the first time.
Lydia and Charlie move in to Jean's house. Jean accidentally calls Lydia "my love" while Jim and Sarah are visiting. Jim is unaware of the term of endearment but Sarah does, she lets Jean know it's okay. On a visit to see Annie, Charlie shares that he couldn't find his mom in her bed after a particularly bad thunderstorm but she came right after. Pam overhears this and rumor flies that Lydia isn't sleeping in her bed and their may be something going on between the two women. Jean notices she doesn't have as many patients now.
One day, Robert shows up to pick up Charlie after school saying he will be staying with him now. He's sent a letter to Lydia which turns out to be a lie. Lydia doesn't know where Robert lives and dwindles away unable to see her son. Lawyers say Robert can win custody if she causes trouble ad Robert decides to use the law against her given the nasty rumors flying about her relationship with Jean despite Robert cheating on her and abandoning her. Charlie doesn't go see his mom afraid he may never be able to.
Jean receives a late night visit from Pam asking for her help. Annie was pregnant but they performed an illegal abortion and Annie was now bleeding out. Jean agrees to help and not involve a hospital at the price of Lydia getting Charlie back. Once Annie is well, Pam pleads Robert to let Charlie go home as he himself doesn't even like Charlie. He agrees. Once back home, the three decide to move to another place. Not letting anyone know, it'll be easier to be "normal" afar.
Years later, Charlie returns to visit his father. He is alone. Only Annie visits. He is still hateful towards Charlie. He wants to know why Robert agree to let him go home that day so many years ago. Robert doesn't ask about Lydia so Charlie informs him she is happy. Moving didn't make it easy but they were happier, Lydia and Jean still sleep in the same bed.
5.0
Summary:
Spoiler
Dr. Jean Markham has inherited her too-large home. Her days consist of non-stop doctoring whether at her surgery or house calls and caring for her bees. Lydia Weekes has been working at the wireless factory for 10 years now since being disowned by her father after marrying her husband, Robert, and following him to his hometown.
Charlie Weekes knows his mom, Lydia, is sad and that his dad isn't around. One day, after Charlie gets into a fight over rumors of his dad, Robert, having another woman he meets Dr. Markham. She has a model of a beehive in her office that Charlie is drawn to. She invites him over to meet her bees whenever he wants. Dr. Markham tells him the bees keep secrets. He shares his mom is sad.
Lydia is worried about this doctor that spends so much time with Charlie. Jean invites her over to tea. Lydia likes to read so Jean lets her borrow some books. Meanwhile, Robert is cheating on Lydia and has moved out slowly and stopped paying the rent. Charlie learns this on a visit to his Aunt Pam's to see his cousin Annie. Aunt Pam resents Lydia and Charlie for taking her brother, Robert, from her whom she raised after their parents death.
As Jean and Lydia get closer, Jean starts to notice the way she knows Lydia so well and pays particular attention to her style of dress and appearance. When Jean invites Lydia to a hike to a beautiful place, Lydia kisses her wondering why Jean invited her. They don't speak of it. When it is time for the harvesting of the honey, Jean's friend, married couple Jim and Sarah, and their daughters arrive to celebrate, Lydia included. Charlie sets a jar aside for his dad he knows he won't be able to give him. Robert has not tried to contact Charlie at all.
When Lydia's friend, Dot, invites her out to dancing, Lydia dances with a man but wishes it were Jean instead. After a night of restlessness, she walks all the way to Jean's home and confesses to her that she has never felt this way for another woman. Something changes in their relationship that night.
One day, Lydia receives an eviction notice. Lydia invites her to move in with her. Her home is plenty big for all three of them and she's been meaning to get a new housekeeper even for just appearances sake. Lydia loudly declines because it would be different as they are in a relationship. After Lydia gets sick and is unable to work, Jean takes them to her childhood seaside home. While Lydia recovers, they make love for the first time.
Lydia and Charlie move in to Jean's house. Jean accidentally calls Lydia "my love" while Jim and Sarah are visiting. Jim is unaware of the term of endearment but Sarah does, she lets Jean know it's okay. On a visit to see Annie, Charlie shares that he couldn't find his mom in her bed after a particularly bad thunderstorm but she came right after. Pam overhears this and rumor flies that Lydia isn't sleeping in her bed and their may be something going on between the two women. Jean notices she doesn't have as many patients now.
One day, Robert shows up to pick up Charlie after school saying he will be staying with him now. He's sent a letter to Lydia which turns out to be a lie. Lydia doesn't know where Robert lives and dwindles away unable to see her son. Lawyers say Robert can win custody if she causes trouble ad Robert decides to use the law against her given the nasty rumors flying about her relationship with Jean despite Robert cheating on her and abandoning her. Charlie doesn't go see his mom afraid he may never be able to.
Jean receives a late night visit from Pam asking for her help. Annie was pregnant but they performed an illegal abortion and Annie was now bleeding out. Jean agrees to help and not involve a hospital at the price of Lydia getting Charlie back. Once Annie is well, Pam pleads Robert to let Charlie go home as he himself doesn't even like Charlie. He agrees. Once back home, the three decide to move to another place. Not letting anyone know, it'll be easier to be "normal" afar.
Years later, Charlie returns to visit his father. He is alone. Only Annie visits. He is still hateful towards Charlie. He wants to know why Robert agree to let him go home that day so many years ago. Robert doesn't ask about Lydia so Charlie informs him she is happy. Moving didn't make it easy but they were happier, Lydia and Jean still sleep in the same bed.
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid
5.0
It has been a while since a book has absolutely broken my heart and made me cry. Even longer since a book has absolutely mended that broken heart.
Evelyn has made a career out of being irresistible, has used her body to get to high places even when she was blackballed following her divorce to second husband, abusive Don Adler. Despite this, the first film after being blackballed is one of her most memorable piece. Following seven husbands, outliving them all, some real romances some faked for conveniences, Evelyn is finally ready to let the world know about her wife. The book ending with Evelyn saying this, I ate that $#*! up!!!
Summary:
Monique Grant gets the opportunity of a lifetime to write Evelyn Hugo's official biography after the famous star read her piece on assisted suicides, the right to die with dignity. Evelyn is sure Monique will get her story right just the way she wants.
Evelyn Herrera marries Ernie Diaz when she is 14. She lies about her age but he knew and didn't care. He's going to Hollywood so she wants in to the industry. Her mother is dead and her dad neglectful, she later finds out he died soon after that's why he never reached out for money. She gets her big break from producer Harry Cameron as minor characters with one line while waitressing tables. This is the thing about Evelyn: she's Cuban and flat as a board but with boobs she cannot hide. Once it's clear that Evelyn's career is going places, she changes her name to Evelyn Hugo, dyes her hair to its legendary blonde despite the tan skin, and divorces Ernie. No hard feelings.
As a way to hype herself and her career up, she's pushed into a string of dates with famous men. That's how she meets Don Adler. He's charming, son to legendary actors, heir to a fortune, and most of all in love with Evelyn as a person. Two months in, Don hits her for the first time. He's resentful of her successful career and his is tanking, resentful of her inability to play housewife. She covers the abuse up despite some people knowing including Harry, who has become a good friend to Evelyn.
When cast as her dream role of Jo in Little Women, Evelyn meets Celia St. James, a up-and-coming star clear to swipe them all for awards in the film. Evelyn and costar Ruby Reilly are aware of this and don't like her. When Celia invites Evelyn to a milkshake at a local hotspot, Evelyn refuses and they go to a small diner because she knows Celia was trying to use her to get the media running. Celia insists she just wanted a milkshake and to spend time with her and that spot was the first she came up with. Evelyn teaches her that it's okay to play people without them using you. The two agree that Evelyn will be seen with Celia for exposure and Celia will teach Evelyn how to act. The two quickly become friends.
When it's clear Celia is going to sweep them under the rug after the movie's opening, Ruby drags Evelyn into a hallway closet at the after party to hatch out a plan for what they should do about Celia. Evelyn refuses because she's her friend to which Ruby gets upset and tell Evelyn to "wake up, Celia's a lesbian and your husband is cheating on you in another room right now." Evelyn is left alone remembering how she plays the moment Celia removed her shirt in front of her and how she's memorized her torso and freckles in the span of seconds once not too long ago. She's deciding who to confront first, Celia or Don. Celia makes the choice for her and finds her in the closet. After a heated argument, Evelyn kisses Celia. She then finds Don and leaves the party with Harry.
Their divorce is messy as Don's career has taken an upward flight and convinces studio heads to drop Evelyn and cast her off to box office flubs. Evelyn can't do anything but is living in Celia's apartment for a few weeks. The two are blissfully in love. Don goes on to marry Ruby. When Celia wins the Academy Award for Little Women, Evelyn gets so excited she kisses her screen so fast she chips her tooth. She's never been so happy for someone else's success. Finally, Evelyn's big break comes in the form of French director Max Girard. He immediately cast her and their film Boute-en-Train is a huge success giving Evelyn's most provocative scene: her walking out of the water nude, the scene going black just as you are about to see her nipples. Evelyn is reborn.
In the present, Monique is eager to take note of everything. Evelyn refuses to do a piece for Monique's job at Vivant magazine. But Monique emboldened by listening to Evelyn, puts her foot down. She wrangles a promotion from her boss in exchange for the piece, Evelyn has to agree to the piece and photoshoot if she wants her to write the book. Monique lets Evelyn keep her vague release date as the only rule Monique has is to publish it once Evelyn is dead.
Celia and Evelyn are careful to garner too much attention on themselves until media starts spinning their friendship into sordid rumors which are true. Evelyn devises a plan that she'd marry artist Mick Riva in a drunk, Vegas marriage so the media can go back to writing about Evelyn's promiscuity with men and steer away from the women. Celia agrees. The Vegas wedding goes as planned including the morning after divorce. There goes Evelyn's third husband. Everything is perfect until Evelyn becomes pregnant. Celia learns she had sex with Mick and cannot forgive her, they split up. She cannot continue living with ways of diverting the attention from them and Evelyn can't live with someone who isn't ready to do the ugly things to protect them or at least accept what she's done for them. They don't speak for five years.
Evelyn marries fifth husband Rex North, her counterpart in Anna Karenina to promote the film. Their marriage is of pure interest, they both sleep with other people and are good friends. They go on to do three more successful movies until Rex impregnates star Joy Nathan. Evelyn stages a paparazzi makeout with Harry to spin the story that both Rex and she were cheating on each other but remain friends despite.
Meanwhile, Celia has married American football player John Braverman. Harry confesses he is in love with John and has been in contact with Celia. Evelyn knows, without a doubt Celia does not love John. Evelyn loses the Oscar for their last film and cries in the bathroom at the awards show. Celia follows her and consoles her. They talk about their relationship and apologies are said, they makeout in the bathroom and reunite. Evelyn marries fifth husband Harry Cameron and they become the most famous double-daters with close couple John and Celia. The four are each other's beards and Celia lives with Evelyn while Harry with John. This lasts for 15 years.
When the Stonewall Riots occur, Celia wants to be down there. The other three convince her the best they can do is fund them, they set up a donation that continues into Evelyn's late life. Once Harry is ready to be a father, Evelyn is on track. They discuss with their partners they're going to have sex to become parents to avoid media wanting to know what they're hiding by choosing adoption or other ways to give birth. John and Celia agree. Connor is born and she is the center of Evelyn and Harry's world. Celia still wants Evelyn to take on sexy roles because she, too, as others want to be with bombshell Evelyn not mom Evelyn. But also, she wants Evelyn to continue to do what others think she can't after becoming a mother.
She takes on a role in Max Girard's film with her counterpart being Don Adler. Don is sober and apologizes to Evelyn. They become good friends. One day Max comes up with the greatest idea to show a woman taking pleasure in sex during their upcoming sex scene. Evelyn readily agrees but knows in the back of her mind she'll need to discuss it with Celia as sex is something sacred they have no one else knows about. She does the scene anyway and only tells Celia after. Celia cries and pleads her not to do it. She could not possibly take it. But later she will be stronger and Evelyn will be able to do whatever she wants. Evelyn confesses it is already done. This time she won't let their relationship end without a fight. She cries and pleads, Celia cannot live with half of Evelyn and the other half belonging to the world. She moves out.
Evelyn makes it clear to Monique that she is not a good person, and Monique better make that very clear in her own book. Monique is confused but agrees. She's going through a divorce herself. Her husband David has recently come back to fix things but Monique thinks upon the way Evelyn loved Celia and realizes she doesn't feel this way about David. She finalizes their split.
John dies of a heart attack. Harry is distraught and is drinking his life away when he's not being a father to Connor. Evelyn wins an Oscar for her last movie with Rex. In her speech she says, "I know she's watching, I need her to know how important she is to me." It is her olive branch to Celia. That night she decides she's going to marry Max Girard. They've known each other for over 20 years and he's become a great friend and awaken desire in her since Celia. She divorces her Harry, the media believes they've been separated for a while and marries her sixth husband but realizes halfway through their honeymoon she's just another idea to him. He is in love with how famous she is. When Celia wins another Oscar, she asks anybody who may be inclined to kiss their TV to please not chip their tooth. Evelyn cries and writes her a letter.
They exchange letters and confesses her marriage to Max was real but not anymore. Celia is heartbroken despite their being rumors about a new close friend of hers. Evelyn wonders if lovers can ever be friends, they decide to meetup in Los Angeles to patch things up. On the day of her flight, Evelyn is indecisive to take the letters with her but Max finds them and he can't believe he married a dyke and confesses to cheating. She leaves despite him threatening to out her and ruin her career. She meets with Celia and she doesn't care, she's ready for everyone to know she's in love with Celia. Celia has matured, now in their late 40s, and tells her they can't be outed to protect Connor. She understands she could have never done what Evelyn did to protect them. Celia confesses she has emphysema and only has 10 years to live. She wants to move to the coast of Spain, Evelyn can marry her brother Robert who knows Celia is gay and supports her and once Celia dies, Evelyn can inherit everything. Evelyn can finish off one last movie and then they retire, Evelyn is ready for it.
Celia pulls in a favor and has Evelyn seen with a much younger man so any rumors Max may starts about her can be squashed. They divorce. When Harry learns about the plan to move to Spain, he refuses. He is in love with someone, he never thought he would be after John. He insist they beard for each other again. Instead decide to discuss this with Connor back in New York. Before Evelyn leaves to the airport, she asks her driver to stop by Harry's house. On the way there, they find his car crashed into a tree, Harry at the steering wheel, his lover in the passenger seat. Evelyn knows they were drunk. She and Nick, the driver, remove Harry out of the car and into theirs, wipe anything of Harry's clean and move the other passenger into the driver's seat, he is dead. Evelyn tells Nick to think of anything he may need to forget what they did, they'll talk tomorrow after leaving Harry at a hospital. Harry doesn't make it. Nick wants to be famous. Evelyn makes it happen.
Connor rebels and Evelyn marries Robert, her seventh husband. They move to Spain where Robert is able to see all the Spanish women he wants and becomes a good influence on Connor. Connor becomes more responsible and gets into Stanford. Celia and Evelyn marry each other in their bed one morning, tying ponytails around their fingers and reciting vows. They live as happy as they can for six years, when Celia dies. At her funeral, Evelyn goes to Harry's graves and cries, heartbroken. The media paints it as her grieving her husband years later on the day her greatest love has died. Robert dies later and she inherits everything. Connor is later diagnosed with breast cancer and she sees her daughter leave her before her. A mother should die first. Everyone Evelyn Hugo has ever loved is now gone.
Evelyn is done with her story. Monique needs to know when she can release the book. Breast cancer is hereditary. The very thing to have made Evelyn Hugo will now take her down. Evelyn knows what that's going to look like from what her daughter went through. Tomorrow is the photoshoot for the piece for Monique's job. Evelyn has one last confession to make. Harry's lover, the one that died in the accident was James Grant, Monique's father. She found a letter from James to Harry in his coat the night they died. James confessed his love for Harry but would never leave his family, his wife and daughter, to move to Spain. They are his world no matter how much he loved Harry.
Monique is angry and hates Evelyn. She grew up blaming her father for his death, for driving drunk. But it was never the truth. She thinks this is the real reason Evelyn chose to write the book, she no longer cares about pure adoration from everyone. She wants to assuage her guilt. Evelyn assures her it is for her piece she wrote years ago. Monique returns the next day for the photoshoot. Evelyn has paid her housekeeper, Grace, a trip for her and her husband and she leaves tonight. Monique is done getting her story and now needs to write so she doesn't need to visit anymore. She realizes Evelyn is going to die the same way she lived: on her own terms. She thinks about going back, to stop her from whatever she's planning. But she remembers her piece about dying with dignity and knows Evelyn knows she understands and will not stop her. Monique picks up her mom from the airport instead.
Monique asks about her parent's relationship. Her mom says they weren't passionate about each other but they were one another's other half. They could truly spend their entire lives together because they were best friends. She decides not to tell her mom about his death or his sexuality then. She is unsure if she'll even include how she ties into the story in the book or ever tell her mom. Evelyn dies that night from an overdose of contradicting prescription pills just hours after Monique left her.
Monique writes her piece about her final days with Evelyn. Being starstruck and seeing her as a real person, thinking her a lie and cheat but always larger than life. Evelyn would want her to share the most honest thing about her: that she is bisexual and in love with Celia St. James. That while everyone loved reading about her seven husbands and them being a huge interest over her entire career, readers are going to more interested in reading about her wife.
Evelyn has made a career out of being irresistible, has used her body to get to high places even when she was blackballed following her divorce to second husband, abusive Don Adler. Despite this, the first film after being blackballed is one of her most memorable piece. Following seven husbands, outliving them all, some real romances some faked for conveniences, Evelyn is finally ready to let the world know about her wife. The book ending with Evelyn saying this, I ate that $#*! up!!!
Summary:
Spoiler
Monique Grant gets the opportunity of a lifetime to write Evelyn Hugo's official biography after the famous star read her piece on assisted suicides, the right to die with dignity. Evelyn is sure Monique will get her story right just the way she wants.
Evelyn Herrera marries Ernie Diaz when she is 14. She lies about her age but he knew and didn't care. He's going to Hollywood so she wants in to the industry. Her mother is dead and her dad neglectful, she later finds out he died soon after that's why he never reached out for money. She gets her big break from producer Harry Cameron as minor characters with one line while waitressing tables. This is the thing about Evelyn: she's Cuban and flat as a board but with boobs she cannot hide. Once it's clear that Evelyn's career is going places, she changes her name to Evelyn Hugo, dyes her hair to its legendary blonde despite the tan skin, and divorces Ernie. No hard feelings.
As a way to hype herself and her career up, she's pushed into a string of dates with famous men. That's how she meets Don Adler. He's charming, son to legendary actors, heir to a fortune, and most of all in love with Evelyn as a person. Two months in, Don hits her for the first time. He's resentful of her successful career and his is tanking, resentful of her inability to play housewife. She covers the abuse up despite some people knowing including Harry, who has become a good friend to Evelyn.
When cast as her dream role of Jo in Little Women, Evelyn meets Celia St. James, a up-and-coming star clear to swipe them all for awards in the film. Evelyn and costar Ruby Reilly are aware of this and don't like her. When Celia invites Evelyn to a milkshake at a local hotspot, Evelyn refuses and they go to a small diner because she knows Celia was trying to use her to get the media running. Celia insists she just wanted a milkshake and to spend time with her and that spot was the first she came up with. Evelyn teaches her that it's okay to play people without them using you. The two agree that Evelyn will be seen with Celia for exposure and Celia will teach Evelyn how to act. The two quickly become friends.
When it's clear Celia is going to sweep them under the rug after the movie's opening, Ruby drags Evelyn into a hallway closet at the after party to hatch out a plan for what they should do about Celia. Evelyn refuses because she's her friend to which Ruby gets upset and tell Evelyn to "wake up, Celia's a lesbian and your husband is cheating on you in another room right now." Evelyn is left alone remembering how she plays the moment Celia removed her shirt in front of her and how she's memorized her torso and freckles in the span of seconds once not too long ago. She's deciding who to confront first, Celia or Don. Celia makes the choice for her and finds her in the closet. After a heated argument, Evelyn kisses Celia. She then finds Don and leaves the party with Harry.
Their divorce is messy as Don's career has taken an upward flight and convinces studio heads to drop Evelyn and cast her off to box office flubs. Evelyn can't do anything but is living in Celia's apartment for a few weeks. The two are blissfully in love. Don goes on to marry Ruby. When Celia wins the Academy Award for Little Women, Evelyn gets so excited she kisses her screen so fast she chips her tooth. She's never been so happy for someone else's success. Finally, Evelyn's big break comes in the form of French director Max Girard. He immediately cast her and their film Boute-en-Train is a huge success giving Evelyn's most provocative scene: her walking out of the water nude, the scene going black just as you are about to see her nipples. Evelyn is reborn.
In the present, Monique is eager to take note of everything. Evelyn refuses to do a piece for Monique's job at Vivant magazine. But Monique emboldened by listening to Evelyn, puts her foot down. She wrangles a promotion from her boss in exchange for the piece, Evelyn has to agree to the piece and photoshoot if she wants her to write the book. Monique lets Evelyn keep her vague release date as the only rule Monique has is to publish it once Evelyn is dead.
Celia and Evelyn are careful to garner too much attention on themselves until media starts spinning their friendship into sordid rumors which are true. Evelyn devises a plan that she'd marry artist Mick Riva in a drunk, Vegas marriage so the media can go back to writing about Evelyn's promiscuity with men and steer away from the women. Celia agrees. The Vegas wedding goes as planned including the morning after divorce. There goes Evelyn's third husband. Everything is perfect until Evelyn becomes pregnant. Celia learns she had sex with Mick and cannot forgive her, they split up. She cannot continue living with ways of diverting the attention from them and Evelyn can't live with someone who isn't ready to do the ugly things to protect them or at least accept what she's done for them. They don't speak for five years.
Evelyn marries fifth husband Rex North, her counterpart in Anna Karenina to promote the film. Their marriage is of pure interest, they both sleep with other people and are good friends. They go on to do three more successful movies until Rex impregnates star Joy Nathan. Evelyn stages a paparazzi makeout with Harry to spin the story that both Rex and she were cheating on each other but remain friends despite.
Meanwhile, Celia has married American football player John Braverman. Harry confesses he is in love with John and has been in contact with Celia. Evelyn knows, without a doubt Celia does not love John. Evelyn loses the Oscar for their last film and cries in the bathroom at the awards show. Celia follows her and consoles her. They talk about their relationship and apologies are said, they makeout in the bathroom and reunite. Evelyn marries fifth husband Harry Cameron and they become the most famous double-daters with close couple John and Celia. The four are each other's beards and Celia lives with Evelyn while Harry with John. This lasts for 15 years.
When the Stonewall Riots occur, Celia wants to be down there. The other three convince her the best they can do is fund them, they set up a donation that continues into Evelyn's late life. Once Harry is ready to be a father, Evelyn is on track. They discuss with their partners they're going to have sex to become parents to avoid media wanting to know what they're hiding by choosing adoption or other ways to give birth. John and Celia agree. Connor is born and she is the center of Evelyn and Harry's world. Celia still wants Evelyn to take on sexy roles because she, too, as others want to be with bombshell Evelyn not mom Evelyn. But also, she wants Evelyn to continue to do what others think she can't after becoming a mother.
She takes on a role in Max Girard's film with her counterpart being Don Adler. Don is sober and apologizes to Evelyn. They become good friends. One day Max comes up with the greatest idea to show a woman taking pleasure in sex during their upcoming sex scene. Evelyn readily agrees but knows in the back of her mind she'll need to discuss it with Celia as sex is something sacred they have no one else knows about. She does the scene anyway and only tells Celia after. Celia cries and pleads her not to do it. She could not possibly take it. But later she will be stronger and Evelyn will be able to do whatever she wants. Evelyn confesses it is already done. This time she won't let their relationship end without a fight. She cries and pleads, Celia cannot live with half of Evelyn and the other half belonging to the world. She moves out.
Evelyn makes it clear to Monique that she is not a good person, and Monique better make that very clear in her own book. Monique is confused but agrees. She's going through a divorce herself. Her husband David has recently come back to fix things but Monique thinks upon the way Evelyn loved Celia and realizes she doesn't feel this way about David. She finalizes their split.
John dies of a heart attack. Harry is distraught and is drinking his life away when he's not being a father to Connor. Evelyn wins an Oscar for her last movie with Rex. In her speech she says, "I know she's watching, I need her to know how important she is to me." It is her olive branch to Celia. That night she decides she's going to marry Max Girard. They've known each other for over 20 years and he's become a great friend and awaken desire in her since Celia. She divorces her Harry, the media believes they've been separated for a while and marries her sixth husband but realizes halfway through their honeymoon she's just another idea to him. He is in love with how famous she is. When Celia wins another Oscar, she asks anybody who may be inclined to kiss their TV to please not chip their tooth. Evelyn cries and writes her a letter.
They exchange letters and confesses her marriage to Max was real but not anymore. Celia is heartbroken despite their being rumors about a new close friend of hers. Evelyn wonders if lovers can ever be friends, they decide to meetup in Los Angeles to patch things up. On the day of her flight, Evelyn is indecisive to take the letters with her but Max finds them and he can't believe he married a dyke and confesses to cheating. She leaves despite him threatening to out her and ruin her career. She meets with Celia and she doesn't care, she's ready for everyone to know she's in love with Celia. Celia has matured, now in their late 40s, and tells her they can't be outed to protect Connor. She understands she could have never done what Evelyn did to protect them. Celia confesses she has emphysema and only has 10 years to live. She wants to move to the coast of Spain, Evelyn can marry her brother Robert who knows Celia is gay and supports her and once Celia dies, Evelyn can inherit everything. Evelyn can finish off one last movie and then they retire, Evelyn is ready for it.
Celia pulls in a favor and has Evelyn seen with a much younger man so any rumors Max may starts about her can be squashed. They divorce. When Harry learns about the plan to move to Spain, he refuses. He is in love with someone, he never thought he would be after John. He insist they beard for each other again. Instead decide to discuss this with Connor back in New York. Before Evelyn leaves to the airport, she asks her driver to stop by Harry's house. On the way there, they find his car crashed into a tree, Harry at the steering wheel, his lover in the passenger seat. Evelyn knows they were drunk. She and Nick, the driver, remove Harry out of the car and into theirs, wipe anything of Harry's clean and move the other passenger into the driver's seat, he is dead. Evelyn tells Nick to think of anything he may need to forget what they did, they'll talk tomorrow after leaving Harry at a hospital. Harry doesn't make it. Nick wants to be famous. Evelyn makes it happen.
Connor rebels and Evelyn marries Robert, her seventh husband. They move to Spain where Robert is able to see all the Spanish women he wants and becomes a good influence on Connor. Connor becomes more responsible and gets into Stanford. Celia and Evelyn marry each other in their bed one morning, tying ponytails around their fingers and reciting vows. They live as happy as they can for six years, when Celia dies. At her funeral, Evelyn goes to Harry's graves and cries, heartbroken. The media paints it as her grieving her husband years later on the day her greatest love has died. Robert dies later and she inherits everything. Connor is later diagnosed with breast cancer and she sees her daughter leave her before her. A mother should die first. Everyone Evelyn Hugo has ever loved is now gone.
Evelyn is done with her story. Monique needs to know when she can release the book. Breast cancer is hereditary. The very thing to have made Evelyn Hugo will now take her down. Evelyn knows what that's going to look like from what her daughter went through. Tomorrow is the photoshoot for the piece for Monique's job. Evelyn has one last confession to make. Harry's lover, the one that died in the accident was James Grant, Monique's father. She found a letter from James to Harry in his coat the night they died. James confessed his love for Harry but would never leave his family, his wife and daughter, to move to Spain. They are his world no matter how much he loved Harry.
Monique is angry and hates Evelyn. She grew up blaming her father for his death, for driving drunk. But it was never the truth. She thinks this is the real reason Evelyn chose to write the book, she no longer cares about pure adoration from everyone. She wants to assuage her guilt. Evelyn assures her it is for her piece she wrote years ago. Monique returns the next day for the photoshoot. Evelyn has paid her housekeeper, Grace, a trip for her and her husband and she leaves tonight. Monique is done getting her story and now needs to write so she doesn't need to visit anymore. She realizes Evelyn is going to die the same way she lived: on her own terms. She thinks about going back, to stop her from whatever she's planning. But she remembers her piece about dying with dignity and knows Evelyn knows she understands and will not stop her. Monique picks up her mom from the airport instead.
Monique asks about her parent's relationship. Her mom says they weren't passionate about each other but they were one another's other half. They could truly spend their entire lives together because they were best friends. She decides not to tell her mom about his death or his sexuality then. She is unsure if she'll even include how she ties into the story in the book or ever tell her mom. Evelyn dies that night from an overdose of contradicting prescription pills just hours after Monique left her.
Monique writes her piece about her final days with Evelyn. Being starstruck and seeing her as a real person, thinking her a lie and cheat but always larger than life. Evelyn would want her to share the most honest thing about her: that she is bisexual and in love with Celia St. James. That while everyone loved reading about her seven husbands and them being a huge interest over her entire career, readers are going to more interested in reading about her wife.
City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert
2.0
Okay, this book isn't an LGBT fail because it's not advertised as such so kudos to them for adding gay characters here and there like it's normal especially considering the time this book takes place. It starts off as a letter the protagonist, Vivian Morris, receives to explain what she was to the sender's father so she launches into a story of her life. The book is captivating for the first quarter where you're trying to understand who this mysterious man is and what part he plays in Vivian's life. But once you hit the last quarter of the book and still no sign of this man? You don't even care anymore. Personally, I'd be upset if I asked this woman to tell me who she was to my father only for her to bore me with her life story. I guess, when we do learn the truth, her divulging her life story makes sense to the extent that it is rushed to end the book and not as interesting as we'd think. Anyway, not a 1-star because I was hooked trying to make it make sense but 2-star because it was too much build-up for the climax to fall as flat as it did.
Also the sex scenes in this are like please stop. I am begging you. It is not as sexy or as desired as you think it is, or are making it out to be...
Summary:
Angela has sent Vivian Morris, now a 90 year old woman, a letter asking her to explain who she was to her unnamed father. Now that both of Angela's parents are dead, Vivian can be the only one to do so. This is Vivian's life story.
Born in 1920, Vivian is rich and the family disappointment compared to her brother Walter. After failing out of Vassar her freshmen year, she is sent to live with her Aunt Peg. Peg, once a nurse during the war, is now owner of the Lily Playhouse, a rundown theater in NY producing the same cliche plays over and over except with new titles and "characters." Here Vivian fits right in as she learned to sew and make clothes from her grandmother. Being a 19 year old in the city is everything she dreamed of. She makes costumes and helps produce these shows while galivanting at night with showgirl, Celia Ray. The two make quite the stunning pair and wreak havoc everywhere they go. Their nights consist of free drinks from strangers and men they know alike, skipping bars, having sex with all sorts of men and stumbling back home into the bed they share at the rise of the sun.
Aunt Peg is married to Hollywood writer Billy but the two are separated and think divorce is a waste of their time. Now living on two different coasts, Peg spends all her time with the theater and her secretary, Olive, who never stops worrying about Peg's spending on the company. When WWII hits, Vivian is as clueless as they come. She is self-absorbed and could not care less about what is happening in Europe. War hits home at the Lily when esteemed English theater actress Edna Parker Watson, old friend of Peg's, moves in when their home is bombed in London. Peg decides to put Edna into some of her shows and reaches out to Billy for show ideas. Bill decides to move back in as he cannot miss the chance to see Edna and produce the show. Olive is visibly upset with this turn of events. Peg is overjoyed and Vivian is able to see first-hand how well Peg and Billy work together and how much they love each other. But it is soon made clear how well the two are off better as friends.
Vivian is enamored by Edna, in her late 40s/early 50s. She is glamour and class personified, her talent undeniable. Edna is the type of woman who is not threatened by the beauty and success of other and that makes her shine even more. The one thing: she's married to Arthur Watson, a talentless and clueless handsome man. The play Billy writes, City of Girls, they all know will be a hit though a money pit. Billy agrees to put in his own money and to give Peg the rights once it's all done. When tensions rise as opening night comes about, Peg snaps at Olive for her never-ending worries about money. Everyone is shocked, as Peg has never lost it like that and especially not at Olive. Later that night, Vivian walks in on Peg and Olive slowdancing in the living room and she learns that the two are more than just old friends and colleagues.
The show is a hit of course, reviews are stellar. Vivian is dating the star of their show, Anthony. Anthony is truly talented and the first person to teach Vivian about her own pleasure during sex. She's in love and he is crazy about her, they are often very public with their affections. This is frowned upon when Walter, Vivian's brother, drops into visit. He has quit Princeton and is joining the Navy. Their parents are upset at this turn of events. Vivian is excited to have her brother be a fuck up like her and loves him dearly. Walter soon leaves off to training camp not too far from Vivian.
One night, Edna is invited to a war benefit and is asked to bring Anthony along. As they are leaving to go, Arthur gets visibly upset about him not being invited. Edna does not take him seriously and when the argument escalates, Anthony yells at Vivian that she cannot tell him what to do. This is the first time this has happened. Arthur tells Vivian that Edna always sleeps with a younger man every play this time is no different. Vivian, convinced Anthony is sleeping with Edna, goes out with Celia and Arthur. The three end up making out in public and are seen checking into a hotel room. Vivian leaves upset after the threesome and arrives to Olive and a strange man waiting for her, Peg passed out the couch from drinking, and Billy drunk saying Peg always gets this way. The man informs them that Vivian has been identified by paparazzi and the story is going to sell on the most popular gossip column, Winchell's, for the infamous threesome Arthur Watson, Edna's husband, engaged in. Olive takes charge and begs Winchell to not divulge Vivian's identity. He refuses and tells Vivian she should know better.
When the column prints, Vivian is not mentioned and the picture they used hides her face but Celia and Arthur are clearly recognizable. Peg fires Celia and Edna asks to speak to Viv after the show that night. Edna lets her have her say but informs Vivian that she is not interesting, she is only surrounded by interesting people and she is the type of woman who will never be able to be friends with another woman because she plays with what's not hers. She kicks her out. Vivian writes Peg a note and calls Walter in the middle of the night to drive her back to their parents home. Walter has another soldier drive them down all the while Vivian has confessed what happens and Walter scolds her the entire time. When the driver tells Walter he's sore his sister is a whore, Vivian's life falls completely apart when Walter does nothing and stays silent the entire ride home.
Vivian's life is now monotonous. She ends up engaged with a man, Jim, that works for her father. He is boring but nice and believes she's a virgin. She confesses she is not but lies that it happened unwillingly. When Jim calls off their engagement as he is joining the war effort, Vivian is relieved. Peg arrives to take her back to the city as she's been commissioned by the government to put on shows for the Navy Yard and she needs a costumer. The shows are US war propaganda and occur twice a day. Edna was finally whisked away by bigger theater companies and the show was never the same. They are now fully committed to their Navy Yard shows.
When the war ends, the city pays Peg to demolish the Lily. She and Olive buy another home and they work for a local high school as theater director and principal's secretary. Vivian reunites with Marjorie, the daughter of the thrift store Vivian used to buy all her garments for the Lily. Marjorie wants to start a bridal shop. She'll design and Vivian will make them. Marjorie buys a 3 story building so they don't have to worry about living anywhere else, just about their boutique. They are a success and life seems to be going well. Vivian is still sleeping wiht all sorts of men and happy. Marjorie ends up pregnant with a sickly and fragile boy, Nathan. The center of both Marorie's and Vivian's life. Walter has long since died when the ship he was on was bombed, Peg dies of emphysema, and Vivian's parents follow after.
One day, when Vivian is tasked to produce a show for the Navy Yard as a reunion of sorts for old workers and a celebration of the veterans, she meets Frank Grecco. He already knows her, he drove her and Walter home that night many years ago and called her a whore. Something that has haunted her since but deterred her nonetheless. She immediately runs away but decides to look him up. Frank was on the ship when Walter died, he is severely burned and his PTSD does not allow anyone near him to touch him. He apologizes profusely as he was never that sort of man but he wanted to impress Walter. Walter and him were never friends. Frank is Angela's father. That is how she officially met him. Frank has a wife and daughter from before the war, but now he is very absent due to his trauma but he loves Angela more than anything. Vivian and him become friends and spend many nights walking the streets of New York as Frank's PTSD renders him sleepless and agitated and cannot sit still for long. Vivian comes to love Frank more than anyone thought they never as much as embraced. But they shared everything about each other without judgement. Before his death, they were able to sit together and hold hands for an extended amount of time. They never confessed their love but it was understood when they said they were grateful to have one another in their lives.
When Vivian met Angela for the first time, she designed her wedding dress. She only said they were old friends and Angela did not press the issue though she knew her dad didn't have many friends before the war and never reached out to anyone after. So she has asked Vivian for an answer now.
Also the sex scenes in this are like please stop. I am begging you. It is not as sexy or as desired as you think it is, or are making it out to be...
Summary:
Spoiler
Angela has sent Vivian Morris, now a 90 year old woman, a letter asking her to explain who she was to her unnamed father. Now that both of Angela's parents are dead, Vivian can be the only one to do so. This is Vivian's life story.
Born in 1920, Vivian is rich and the family disappointment compared to her brother Walter. After failing out of Vassar her freshmen year, she is sent to live with her Aunt Peg. Peg, once a nurse during the war, is now owner of the Lily Playhouse, a rundown theater in NY producing the same cliche plays over and over except with new titles and "characters." Here Vivian fits right in as she learned to sew and make clothes from her grandmother. Being a 19 year old in the city is everything she dreamed of. She makes costumes and helps produce these shows while galivanting at night with showgirl, Celia Ray. The two make quite the stunning pair and wreak havoc everywhere they go. Their nights consist of free drinks from strangers and men they know alike, skipping bars, having sex with all sorts of men and stumbling back home into the bed they share at the rise of the sun.
Aunt Peg is married to Hollywood writer Billy but the two are separated and think divorce is a waste of their time. Now living on two different coasts, Peg spends all her time with the theater and her secretary, Olive, who never stops worrying about Peg's spending on the company. When WWII hits, Vivian is as clueless as they come. She is self-absorbed and could not care less about what is happening in Europe. War hits home at the Lily when esteemed English theater actress Edna Parker Watson, old friend of Peg's, moves in when their home is bombed in London. Peg decides to put Edna into some of her shows and reaches out to Billy for show ideas. Bill decides to move back in as he cannot miss the chance to see Edna and produce the show. Olive is visibly upset with this turn of events. Peg is overjoyed and Vivian is able to see first-hand how well Peg and Billy work together and how much they love each other. But it is soon made clear how well the two are off better as friends.
Vivian is enamored by Edna, in her late 40s/early 50s. She is glamour and class personified, her talent undeniable. Edna is the type of woman who is not threatened by the beauty and success of other and that makes her shine even more. The one thing: she's married to Arthur Watson, a talentless and clueless handsome man. The play Billy writes, City of Girls, they all know will be a hit though a money pit. Billy agrees to put in his own money and to give Peg the rights once it's all done. When tensions rise as opening night comes about, Peg snaps at Olive for her never-ending worries about money. Everyone is shocked, as Peg has never lost it like that and especially not at Olive. Later that night, Vivian walks in on Peg and Olive slowdancing in the living room and she learns that the two are more than just old friends and colleagues.
The show is a hit of course, reviews are stellar. Vivian is dating the star of their show, Anthony. Anthony is truly talented and the first person to teach Vivian about her own pleasure during sex. She's in love and he is crazy about her, they are often very public with their affections. This is frowned upon when Walter, Vivian's brother, drops into visit. He has quit Princeton and is joining the Navy. Their parents are upset at this turn of events. Vivian is excited to have her brother be a fuck up like her and loves him dearly. Walter soon leaves off to training camp not too far from Vivian.
One night, Edna is invited to a war benefit and is asked to bring Anthony along. As they are leaving to go, Arthur gets visibly upset about him not being invited. Edna does not take him seriously and when the argument escalates, Anthony yells at Vivian that she cannot tell him what to do. This is the first time this has happened. Arthur tells Vivian that Edna always sleeps with a younger man every play this time is no different. Vivian, convinced Anthony is sleeping with Edna, goes out with Celia and Arthur. The three end up making out in public and are seen checking into a hotel room. Vivian leaves upset after the threesome and arrives to Olive and a strange man waiting for her, Peg passed out the couch from drinking, and Billy drunk saying Peg always gets this way. The man informs them that Vivian has been identified by paparazzi and the story is going to sell on the most popular gossip column, Winchell's, for the infamous threesome Arthur Watson, Edna's husband, engaged in. Olive takes charge and begs Winchell to not divulge Vivian's identity. He refuses and tells Vivian she should know better.
When the column prints, Vivian is not mentioned and the picture they used hides her face but Celia and Arthur are clearly recognizable. Peg fires Celia and Edna asks to speak to Viv after the show that night. Edna lets her have her say but informs Vivian that she is not interesting, she is only surrounded by interesting people and she is the type of woman who will never be able to be friends with another woman because she plays with what's not hers. She kicks her out. Vivian writes Peg a note and calls Walter in the middle of the night to drive her back to their parents home. Walter has another soldier drive them down all the while Vivian has confessed what happens and Walter scolds her the entire time. When the driver tells Walter he's sore his sister is a whore, Vivian's life falls completely apart when Walter does nothing and stays silent the entire ride home.
Vivian's life is now monotonous. She ends up engaged with a man, Jim, that works for her father. He is boring but nice and believes she's a virgin. She confesses she is not but lies that it happened unwillingly. When Jim calls off their engagement as he is joining the war effort, Vivian is relieved. Peg arrives to take her back to the city as she's been commissioned by the government to put on shows for the Navy Yard and she needs a costumer. The shows are US war propaganda and occur twice a day. Edna was finally whisked away by bigger theater companies and the show was never the same. They are now fully committed to their Navy Yard shows.
When the war ends, the city pays Peg to demolish the Lily. She and Olive buy another home and they work for a local high school as theater director and principal's secretary. Vivian reunites with Marjorie, the daughter of the thrift store Vivian used to buy all her garments for the Lily. Marjorie wants to start a bridal shop. She'll design and Vivian will make them. Marjorie buys a 3 story building so they don't have to worry about living anywhere else, just about their boutique. They are a success and life seems to be going well. Vivian is still sleeping wiht all sorts of men and happy. Marjorie ends up pregnant with a sickly and fragile boy, Nathan. The center of both Marorie's and Vivian's life. Walter has long since died when the ship he was on was bombed, Peg dies of emphysema, and Vivian's parents follow after.
One day, when Vivian is tasked to produce a show for the Navy Yard as a reunion of sorts for old workers and a celebration of the veterans, she meets Frank Grecco. He already knows her, he drove her and Walter home that night many years ago and called her a whore. Something that has haunted her since but deterred her nonetheless. She immediately runs away but decides to look him up. Frank was on the ship when Walter died, he is severely burned and his PTSD does not allow anyone near him to touch him. He apologizes profusely as he was never that sort of man but he wanted to impress Walter. Walter and him were never friends. Frank is Angela's father. That is how she officially met him. Frank has a wife and daughter from before the war, but now he is very absent due to his trauma but he loves Angela more than anything. Vivian and him become friends and spend many nights walking the streets of New York as Frank's PTSD renders him sleepless and agitated and cannot sit still for long. Vivian comes to love Frank more than anyone thought they never as much as embraced. But they shared everything about each other without judgement. Before his death, they were able to sit together and hold hands for an extended amount of time. They never confessed their love but it was understood when they said they were grateful to have one another in their lives.
When Vivian met Angela for the first time, she designed her wedding dress. She only said they were old friends and Angela did not press the issue though she knew her dad didn't have many friends before the war and never reached out to anyone after. So she has asked Vivian for an answer now.
Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More by Janet Mock
5.0
How do I explain what I felt reading this book? Trans lives matter. Protect trans women, protect black trans women. It's surreal to read her struggles that are so prevalent in many LGBT youth yet find her so unharmed because she had a support system not many are able to have. The way she accepts her privilege of being surrounded by a loving family and the notion that she is "passing" as cis is beautiful and uplifting: we need others like her, like me, like us to understand their are people that accept you not merely tolerate you. That the notion of "passing" is a critique and objectification of women resulting from the patriarchy. We cannot commodify women's bodies because it alienates women and bodies that don't fit what society think women should be or are.
Absolutely loved this book because I am ignorant in the ways of black and trans lives as I am neither. Their voices only strengthen my belief in rights beyond those that I require. It opens me to injustices I have no experience in, to pain that transcends individual identities.
Absolutely loved this book because I am ignorant in the ways of black and trans lives as I am neither. Their voices only strengthen my belief in rights beyond those that I require. It opens me to injustices I have no experience in, to pain that transcends individual identities.
What Is Not Yours Is Not Yours by Helen Oyeyemi
5.0
This book was just the right amount of everything. I was hooked and thrown out just when I wanted more but it forced me to close that door and move on. I wish there were a way to bottle the beauty that is this book, and carry it with me, be reminded to leave my mind, body and heart. It's just that good.
Summary:
1. books and roses: Monste was left as a baby with a key around her neck and a note asking her to "wait for me." When working at a laundry house, she meets Senora Lucy who also carries a key around her neck and is also waiting for someone. Years ago, Lucy met Safiye, both scammers. They fell in love and Safiye left to work as a lady's maid. One day, Lucy receives the key to a garden and Safiye is sought for a murder and other crimes. Lucy is waiting for her to return. An advertisement runs looking for her, Montserrat, with a key around her neck who can open a library she will inherit. In the library she finds a letter her mother wrote detailing the man that lived behind the library and his secret garden. Montse walks into the garden and finds Lucy.
2. "sorry" doesn't sweeten her tea: Anton is in charge of looking after his best friend Ched's house where shadows hide behind doors left open and doors need to be locked to remain closed. Anton's boyfriends daughter, Aisha, is a loyal fan to Matyas Faust. When an interview is given from a woman who had sex with Matyas and was then physically assaulted by him, Aisha is unsure of what is the truth and her sister Dayang attempts to soothe her. When Matyas' team does not seek legal action against what could be a false claim, Aisha is sure he is guilty. Instead of issuing a normal apology, Matyas writes a song that is selfish. With the help of Anton's coworker Tyche, Aisha summons Hecate to go after Matyas. Matyas continues to issue different apologies in the forms of interviews and videos and confesses he is haunted by 3 women matching the description of Hecate and they say his apologies are not enough. Aisha ends the story with her thinking that Matyas may be getting there.
3. is your blood redder than this: Radha is in love with Myrna, a puppeteer. Myrna's school is allowing her and another person, Gustav, to choose two new students. To get closer to her, Radha auditions but she does exactly what Myrna dislikes in Gustav and Myrna chooses Tyche instead. Gustav chooses Radha and the two get closer while Myrna continues to avoid her. Radha's puppet, handed to her by someone after hers breaks, is given a voice by Radha. She sees how Radha won't give up on Myrna and meets Rowan, Myrna's puppet, neither he or she but mostly tree. Rowan shares that Myrna has a gift, she can physically relieve others' pain. This is why she doesn't touch people but she is on a quest to see if she can relieve pain without touching others except in order to do so she is hurting them first. It is assumed that Rowan endangers Gustav during a performance and Myrna goes to help but when Gustav comes to he calls for Radha and the two embrace and Myrna is hurt.
4. drownings: Arkady is poor and is taking care of Giacomo and a dog. He is planning to kidnap the state's tyrant's daughter. He used to work for the tyrant's physician, Lokum, but to protect him Lokum fires him. The tyrant is jealous of anybody who may become affectionate with Lokum and drowns them. The tyrant drowns anybody for anything. One day, Arkady is jailed for setting fire to their old apartment building whose rooms all have the same locks. Many died and there is no way to prove him innocent. The tyrant visits Arkady because he recognizes someone as sinister as himself since it's believed Arkady killed and then went home to sleep like nothing happened. Lokum finally agrees to marry the tyrant and sends his daughter, Eirini the fair, and her mother away and comvinces the tyrant to stop the drownings. When Erini leaves she takes a key from her father, the key to Arkady's cell. Displeased with the way Lokum wanted Arkady to live, the tyrant sets her on fire but she cannot burn and she lights him on fire where he dies since the rivers with all the drowned spit him out. Lokum then finds Eirini and gets the key to free Arkady.
5. presence: Jill is concerned her third husband and childhood best friend, Jacob, wants a divorce. She's worrying for nothing. All he wants is to product-test an experience his patients are experiencing: feeling the presence of lost ones. The two retire to separate homes, one an apartment they rent to tenants Radha and her girlfriend, Myrna. Jill and Jacob record conversations they will listen to in the next two weeks. In the apartment, Jill is struck by all the clocks stuck at twelve-thirty. She leaves and returns to her door unlocked. Jacob is there but he doesn't have a shadow or smell like him so she asks him to leave. He does but not without saying he won't return if she is sure. Again at twelve-thirty, she meets a 12 year old in her kitchen. He's the son they never had, haven't had. She sees him grow up before her eyes but it's not real. She asks him to leave and he repeats the words Jacob had said. She returns to Jacob at their other home and they agree they cannot let this project be given to the public.
6. a brief history of the homely wench society: Dayang gets a letter to join her school's Homely Wench Society created in an effort to ridicule the Bettencourt Society of males that ran a list of women they deemed unattractive or homely wenches over 60 years ago. She joins but has feelings for a Bettencourter, Hercules. One of the Homely Wenches gains the security code to the Bettencourters HQ and they sneak in and swap books written by men with their own books written by women. Hercules mentions one of the books they swapped and says he really enjoys it. He says the Bettencourters aren't the same dicks from back then and the Homely Wenches and them could get along. During a Homely Wench meeting, a group of Bettencourters arrives with snacks and waving a white flag.
7. dornicka and the st. martin's goose Dornicka wears a red cape into the woods where she finds the "wolf" that inspired the big bad wolf of many stories. He is waiting for someone younger to pass so he can eat them. Dornicka cannot allow this and agrees to bring the "wolf" something full of life but to wait for her and not eat anyone until then. The "wolf" agrees but not without punching her on her left hip where a horrible, painless lump grows. Dornicka cuts the lump off and buries it outside. When her god-daughter and her daughter, Klaudie, stay with her, Klaudie begins to smell something but it's not anything they can identify. Klaudie is drawn to the tree where Dornicka buried the lump. When they choose their goose for the upcoming holiday, the goose begins to peck at where the lump is buried. Dornicka decides to unbury it and places it in a locked chest in her room but Klaudie keeps going to it but cannot get the lump. Finally, Dornicka feeds the lump to the goose and orders a child's sized red cape. She leaves the gate to the goose open and the goose wakes Dornicka at night wearing the cape and she thanks the goose and drives it into the woods.
8. freddy barrandov checks . . . in?: Freddy is pushed by his mother to become his dad's apprentice as the do-it-all handyman for the hotel his parents manage. He doesn't want to and besides, his sister is better at that kind of stuff. The hotel is known for producing whatever the guests require and is assumed to house more than living guests. At the hotel he meets his presumed dead godfather, Jean-Claude. He asks Freddy to help him save his son Chedorlaomer "Ched" from his girlfriend Tyche Shaw as she is the sort of person Ched should not be with. Freddy's girlfriend Aisha wrote and directed a film the two, Ched and Tyche, starred in. Jean-Claude will pay Freddy to break them up. He attempts to do so by inciting an orgy of sorts but it does not work and then staging that the two are related by falsifying DNA records.
9. if a book is locked there's probably a good reason for that don't you think: Eva is her new colleague. Eva is beautiful and glamorous and doesn't interact with many at work thoughthey try. People begin to think Eva' stuck up and despise her for everything that makes her Eva. She just watches Eva. One day a woman arrives crying with a child, accusing Eva of sleeping with her husband. In the turmoil, Eva drops a locked diary. Coworkers begin to get mean towards Eva. Eva begins to eat lunch with her and the two become friends. One day, she finally asks about the diary. Eva wrote in it for three years of her life when she turned thirteen inspired by Anne Frank. Someone at work steals Eva's diary and Eva is upset. An anonymous note appears saying they'll give the diary back if Eva quits. Eva does so and the diary appears by the water cooler. She decides to return it to Eva but finding her address proves difficult. She manages to unlock the diary and finds an address though she doesn't read anything in the diary. She arrives at the address and a man says Eva doesn't live there but has seen Eva on the roof. She finds Eva on the roof of the building over and returns the diary assuring Eva she didn't read it. To which Eva says, "So you still think that's why I locked it?"
Summary:
Spoiler
1. books and roses: Monste was left as a baby with a key around her neck and a note asking her to "wait for me." When working at a laundry house, she meets Senora Lucy who also carries a key around her neck and is also waiting for someone. Years ago, Lucy met Safiye, both scammers. They fell in love and Safiye left to work as a lady's maid. One day, Lucy receives the key to a garden and Safiye is sought for a murder and other crimes. Lucy is waiting for her to return. An advertisement runs looking for her, Montserrat, with a key around her neck who can open a library she will inherit. In the library she finds a letter her mother wrote detailing the man that lived behind the library and his secret garden. Montse walks into the garden and finds Lucy.
2. "sorry" doesn't sweeten her tea: Anton is in charge of looking after his best friend Ched's house where shadows hide behind doors left open and doors need to be locked to remain closed. Anton's boyfriends daughter, Aisha, is a loyal fan to Matyas Faust. When an interview is given from a woman who had sex with Matyas and was then physically assaulted by him, Aisha is unsure of what is the truth and her sister Dayang attempts to soothe her. When Matyas' team does not seek legal action against what could be a false claim, Aisha is sure he is guilty. Instead of issuing a normal apology, Matyas writes a song that is selfish. With the help of Anton's coworker Tyche, Aisha summons Hecate to go after Matyas. Matyas continues to issue different apologies in the forms of interviews and videos and confesses he is haunted by 3 women matching the description of Hecate and they say his apologies are not enough. Aisha ends the story with her thinking that Matyas may be getting there.
3. is your blood redder than this: Radha is in love with Myrna, a puppeteer. Myrna's school is allowing her and another person, Gustav, to choose two new students. To get closer to her, Radha auditions but she does exactly what Myrna dislikes in Gustav and Myrna chooses Tyche instead. Gustav chooses Radha and the two get closer while Myrna continues to avoid her. Radha's puppet, handed to her by someone after hers breaks, is given a voice by Radha. She sees how Radha won't give up on Myrna and meets Rowan, Myrna's puppet, neither he or she but mostly tree. Rowan shares that Myrna has a gift, she can physically relieve others' pain. This is why she doesn't touch people but she is on a quest to see if she can relieve pain without touching others except in order to do so she is hurting them first. It is assumed that Rowan endangers Gustav during a performance and Myrna goes to help but when Gustav comes to he calls for Radha and the two embrace and Myrna is hurt.
4. drownings: Arkady is poor and is taking care of Giacomo and a dog. He is planning to kidnap the state's tyrant's daughter. He used to work for the tyrant's physician, Lokum, but to protect him Lokum fires him. The tyrant is jealous of anybody who may become affectionate with Lokum and drowns them. The tyrant drowns anybody for anything. One day, Arkady is jailed for setting fire to their old apartment building whose rooms all have the same locks. Many died and there is no way to prove him innocent. The tyrant visits Arkady because he recognizes someone as sinister as himself since it's believed Arkady killed and then went home to sleep like nothing happened. Lokum finally agrees to marry the tyrant and sends his daughter, Eirini the fair, and her mother away and comvinces the tyrant to stop the drownings. When Erini leaves she takes a key from her father, the key to Arkady's cell. Displeased with the way Lokum wanted Arkady to live, the tyrant sets her on fire but she cannot burn and she lights him on fire where he dies since the rivers with all the drowned spit him out. Lokum then finds Eirini and gets the key to free Arkady.
5. presence: Jill is concerned her third husband and childhood best friend, Jacob, wants a divorce. She's worrying for nothing. All he wants is to product-test an experience his patients are experiencing: feeling the presence of lost ones. The two retire to separate homes, one an apartment they rent to tenants Radha and her girlfriend, Myrna. Jill and Jacob record conversations they will listen to in the next two weeks. In the apartment, Jill is struck by all the clocks stuck at twelve-thirty. She leaves and returns to her door unlocked. Jacob is there but he doesn't have a shadow or smell like him so she asks him to leave. He does but not without saying he won't return if she is sure. Again at twelve-thirty, she meets a 12 year old in her kitchen. He's the son they never had, haven't had. She sees him grow up before her eyes but it's not real. She asks him to leave and he repeats the words Jacob had said. She returns to Jacob at their other home and they agree they cannot let this project be given to the public.
6. a brief history of the homely wench society: Dayang gets a letter to join her school's Homely Wench Society created in an effort to ridicule the Bettencourt Society of males that ran a list of women they deemed unattractive or homely wenches over 60 years ago. She joins but has feelings for a Bettencourter, Hercules. One of the Homely Wenches gains the security code to the Bettencourters HQ and they sneak in and swap books written by men with their own books written by women. Hercules mentions one of the books they swapped and says he really enjoys it. He says the Bettencourters aren't the same dicks from back then and the Homely Wenches and them could get along. During a Homely Wench meeting, a group of Bettencourters arrives with snacks and waving a white flag.
7. dornicka and the st. martin's goose Dornicka wears a red cape into the woods where she finds the "wolf" that inspired the big bad wolf of many stories. He is waiting for someone younger to pass so he can eat them. Dornicka cannot allow this and agrees to bring the "wolf" something full of life but to wait for her and not eat anyone until then. The "wolf" agrees but not without punching her on her left hip where a horrible, painless lump grows. Dornicka cuts the lump off and buries it outside. When her god-daughter and her daughter, Klaudie, stay with her, Klaudie begins to smell something but it's not anything they can identify. Klaudie is drawn to the tree where Dornicka buried the lump. When they choose their goose for the upcoming holiday, the goose begins to peck at where the lump is buried. Dornicka decides to unbury it and places it in a locked chest in her room but Klaudie keeps going to it but cannot get the lump. Finally, Dornicka feeds the lump to the goose and orders a child's sized red cape. She leaves the gate to the goose open and the goose wakes Dornicka at night wearing the cape and she thanks the goose and drives it into the woods.
8. freddy barrandov checks . . . in?: Freddy is pushed by his mother to become his dad's apprentice as the do-it-all handyman for the hotel his parents manage. He doesn't want to and besides, his sister is better at that kind of stuff. The hotel is known for producing whatever the guests require and is assumed to house more than living guests. At the hotel he meets his presumed dead godfather, Jean-Claude. He asks Freddy to help him save his son Chedorlaomer "Ched" from his girlfriend Tyche Shaw as she is the sort of person Ched should not be with. Freddy's girlfriend Aisha wrote and directed a film the two, Ched and Tyche, starred in. Jean-Claude will pay Freddy to break them up. He attempts to do so by inciting an orgy of sorts but it does not work and then staging that the two are related by falsifying DNA records.
9. if a book is locked there's probably a good reason for that don't you think: Eva is her new colleague. Eva is beautiful and glamorous and doesn't interact with many at work thoughthey try. People begin to think Eva' stuck up and despise her for everything that makes her Eva. She just watches Eva. One day a woman arrives crying with a child, accusing Eva of sleeping with her husband. In the turmoil, Eva drops a locked diary. Coworkers begin to get mean towards Eva. Eva begins to eat lunch with her and the two become friends. One day, she finally asks about the diary. Eva wrote in it for three years of her life when she turned thirteen inspired by Anne Frank. Someone at work steals Eva's diary and Eva is upset. An anonymous note appears saying they'll give the diary back if Eva quits. Eva does so and the diary appears by the water cooler. She decides to return it to Eva but finding her address proves difficult. She manages to unlock the diary and finds an address though she doesn't read anything in the diary. She arrives at the address and a man says Eva doesn't live there but has seen Eva on the roof. She finds Eva on the roof of the building over and returns the diary assuring Eva she didn't read it. To which Eva says, "So you still think that's why I locked it?"