Scan barcode
shamuwilson2's review
3.0
I have mixed feelings about this book. I think it’s a great read for first-gen South Asian women. It touches on a lot of issues that are considered taboo in South Asian culture: sexual orientation, non-traditional careers, abuse, and more. And some of the essays were fantastic. But many of them did not live up to my expectations.
For example, in one of the essays, a woman spends the whole time explaining how she didn’t see herself following her fathers wishes to marry young, and wanted to stay single until she was thirty and wrote books about that etc. In the end, she ends up getting married young just as her father wanted and instead sends the message of “well, I did it like he wanted but I did it for ME not him so it’s fine.” A lot of the stories go like this. Another, for example, focuses on a woman who didn’t want to obey her parents wishes of marrying a Parsi man, but in the end, ends up marrying a Parsi man. It felt silly. What’s the point of including so many essays about rebellion that ultimately actually end in traditional conformity?
I also felt like the majority of essays focused on the same couple of topics, so it felt a bit repetitive at times.
Overall, I think it’s a worthwhile read for South Asian women (if anything to find some comfort in others’ stories of the relatable struggles of being first-gen), but it unfortunately wasn’t as moving or influential as I had thought it might be.
For example, in one of the essays, a woman spends the whole time explaining how she didn’t see herself following her fathers wishes to marry young, and wanted to stay single until she was thirty and wrote books about that etc. In the end, she ends up getting married young just as her father wanted and instead sends the message of “well, I did it like he wanted but I did it for ME not him so it’s fine.” A lot of the stories go like this. Another, for example, focuses on a woman who didn’t want to obey her parents wishes of marrying a Parsi man, but in the end, ends up marrying a Parsi man. It felt silly. What’s the point of including so many essays about rebellion that ultimately actually end in traditional conformity?
I also felt like the majority of essays focused on the same couple of topics, so it felt a bit repetitive at times.
Overall, I think it’s a worthwhile read for South Asian women (if anything to find some comfort in others’ stories of the relatable struggles of being first-gen), but it unfortunately wasn’t as moving or influential as I had thought it might be.
tansreads's review
emotional
reflective
tense
fast-paced
5.0
I deeply appreciated the vulnerability in each of the author's stories and the complexity they brought to the South Asian American daughter experience. I personally felt very seen and think it should be a must read for my brown gals!! It will probably make you cry :')
Content Warnings
Minor: Body shaming, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, and Sexual violence
shamuwilson's review
3.0
I have mixed feelings about this book. I think it’s a great read for first-gen South Asian women. It touches on a lot of issues that are considered taboo in South Asian culture: sexual orientation, non-traditional careers, abuse, and more. And some of the essays were fantastic. But many of them did not live up to my expectations.
For example, in one of the essays, a woman spends the whole time explaining how she didn’t see herself following her fathers wishes to marry young, and wanted to stay single until she was thirty and wrote books about that etc. In the end, she ends up getting married young just as her father wanted and instead sends the message of “well, I did it like he wanted but I did it for ME not him so it’s fine.” A lot of the stories go like this. Another, for example, focuses on a woman who didn’t want to obey her parents wishes of marrying a Parsi man, but in the end, ends up marrying a Parsi man. It felt silly. What’s the point of including so many essays about rebellion that ultimately actually end in traditional conformity?
I also felt like the majority of essays focused on the same couple of topics, so it felt a bit repetitive at times.
Overall, I think it’s a worthwhile read for South Asian women (if anything to find some comfort in others’ stories of the relatable struggles of being first-gen), but it unfortunately wasn’t as moving or influential as I had thought it might be.
For example, in one of the essays, a woman spends the whole time explaining how she didn’t see herself following her fathers wishes to marry young, and wanted to stay single until she was thirty and wrote books about that etc. In the end, she ends up getting married young just as her father wanted and instead sends the message of “well, I did it like he wanted but I did it for ME not him so it’s fine.” A lot of the stories go like this. Another, for example, focuses on a woman who didn’t want to obey her parents wishes of marrying a Parsi man, but in the end, ends up marrying a Parsi man. It felt silly. What’s the point of including so many essays about rebellion that ultimately actually end in traditional conformity?
I also felt like the majority of essays focused on the same couple of topics, so it felt a bit repetitive at times.
Overall, I think it’s a worthwhile read for South Asian women (if anything to find some comfort in others’ stories of the relatable struggles of being first-gen), but it unfortunately wasn’t as moving or influential as I had thought it might be.
jojobeans's review
I don’t really feel comfortable rating people’s personal essay’s about their lived experiences, but it was an enjoyable read.
Full review:
I think the book is overall empowering and eye-opening, however, I did see some problematic aspects and some things that I had misconceptions about. For starters, I wasn’t able to relate to the essays as much as I thought I would because this felt a little dated, in the sense that all the authors seemed like full-on millennials (i.e. now in their late 20’s and 30’s), and I don’t really identify with a lot of “millennial culture,” and especially Indian-Canadian/American millennial culture. I also think that as someone in their earl 20’s right now, my struggles and the world around me is much much different from those who are 10 or more years older than me and what they went through. I also wasn’t able to relate to a lot of the Indian American aspects, given that I am Indo-Canadian and I feel the culture here is much different (America is more of a melting pot country, Canada embraces multiculturalism) and the lived experiences I think are much more different than what Indian Americans go through.
I was also disappointed with the lack of Punjabi/Sikh rep in this book, I felt like most of it was focused on Bengali or Bangladeshi women and Muslim/Hindu women, which I, unfortunately, can not relate to. I also personally identify much closer with the distinct Punjabi culture over the broader Indian culture, so that was also why I wasn’t enjoying it as much as I thought I would.
Now for the problematic bits: I felt like many of the essays was bordering the line of judging women who live their lives differently from the authors. Now, this may seem weird since almost all the women in this book live “alternative” lives and therefore you wouldn’t expect a critique like that. However, I felt like a lot of times, many of the authors were almost judging women who chose a traditional life path, or marrying a doctor/lawyer/engineer, or not living independently, or in one of the essays, I felt like the author was judging Indian American women who post themselves in traditional suits in one picture then in booty shorts in the next picture. I think that whether a person picks a traditional path or picks a different path, they are both valid and either choice is empowering in its own way. I have always hated the trope of hating on girls for being “basic” and I was getting a huge vibe of doing just that in a lot of the essays. I think there is a way of empowering women, no matter what life path they take, but this book seemed to lose that sense of being a judgement-free zone, especially when it came to people who stick to the status quo.
Full review:
I think the book is overall empowering and eye-opening, however, I did see some problematic aspects and some things that I had misconceptions about. For starters, I wasn’t able to relate to the essays as much as I thought I would because this felt a little dated, in the sense that all the authors seemed like full-on millennials (i.e. now in their late 20’s and 30’s), and I don’t really identify with a lot of “millennial culture,” and especially Indian-Canadian/American millennial culture. I also think that as someone in their earl 20’s right now, my struggles and the world around me is much much different from those who are 10 or more years older than me and what they went through. I also wasn’t able to relate to a lot of the Indian American aspects, given that I am Indo-Canadian and I feel the culture here is much different (America is more of a melting pot country, Canada embraces multiculturalism) and the lived experiences I think are much more different than what Indian Americans go through.
I was also disappointed with the lack of Punjabi/Sikh rep in this book, I felt like most of it was focused on Bengali or Bangladeshi women and Muslim/Hindu women, which I, unfortunately, can not relate to. I also personally identify much closer with the distinct Punjabi culture over the broader Indian culture, so that was also why I wasn’t enjoying it as much as I thought I would.
Now for the problematic bits: I felt like many of the essays was bordering the line of judging women who live their lives differently from the authors. Now, this may seem weird since almost all the women in this book live “alternative” lives and therefore you wouldn’t expect a critique like that. However, I felt like a lot of times, many of the authors were almost judging women who chose a traditional life path, or marrying a doctor/lawyer/engineer, or not living independently, or in one of the essays, I felt like the author was judging Indian American women who post themselves in traditional suits in one picture then in booty shorts in the next picture. I think that whether a person picks a traditional path or picks a different path, they are both valid and either choice is empowering in its own way. I have always hated the trope of hating on girls for being “basic” and I was getting a huge vibe of doing just that in a lot of the essays. I think there is a way of empowering women, no matter what life path they take, but this book seemed to lose that sense of being a judgement-free zone, especially when it came to people who stick to the status quo.
viralmysteries's review
5.0
Absolutely phenomenal anthology of important South Asian women writing about fighting back against a culture of patriarchy and tradition. So powerful, highly recommend to all South Asian people, especially South Asian women.
shelleygupta's review
5.0
When I read the Foreword and Introduction, my thought was, "YES! This!" Battacharya does an incredible job summarizing what it means to be a Good Girl as a South Asian Woman. I moved into each of the stories. I couldn't quite relate to the first few stories in the book, but about a third of the way though the stories, I thought they became stronger and more relatable. There are some sweet and light hearted stories, there are also other stories that are difficult to read because of the content. The stories vary from a writer's mother being more rebellious than the writer could have ever imagined, to physical and emotional abuse. The women detail a small snippet of their lives, giving insight into their struggles of reconciling being both South Asian and North American, and how they navigated both worlds.
This book is so important. It's important for everyone to read. From South Asian adolescents to adults. This book told me that I am not alone, and I believe that was part of Battacharya's goal when she envisioned this anthology - that the stories of South Asian Women need to be shared because so many of us share similar experiences, but we never talk about them. This book is important for South Asian parents to read, for an insight into how the first generation (and beyond) thinks and feels and the difficulties in navigating two (or more) cultures. It is important for non-South Asians to read for an insight and understanding to their South Asian counter parts' lives. It is difficult to explain, but these stories nail the varied experiences.
I wish I could have read this 15 years ago, as a teenager, to know that many others had the same struggle I did. I continue to struggle, but I am not alone.
This book is so important. It's important for everyone to read. From South Asian adolescents to adults. This book told me that I am not alone, and I believe that was part of Battacharya's goal when she envisioned this anthology - that the stories of South Asian Women need to be shared because so many of us share similar experiences, but we never talk about them. This book is important for South Asian parents to read, for an insight into how the first generation (and beyond) thinks and feels and the difficulties in navigating two (or more) cultures. It is important for non-South Asians to read for an insight and understanding to their South Asian counter parts' lives. It is difficult to explain, but these stories nail the varied experiences.
I wish I could have read this 15 years ago, as a teenager, to know that many others had the same struggle I did. I continue to struggle, but I am not alone.
thebookishbroccolini's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
tense
slow-paced
5.0