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litwithleigh's review against another edition
5.0
** I'm breaking my own rule of not giving star ratings to audiobooks, but this one banged! **
Audiobook rating: YERRRRRR (translation: loved it) | Performance: 5/5 | Plot: 4/5 | Ending: 5/5
I've been putting this one off for awhile because I was scurred of the emotional wreckage, but I'm glad I finally dove in. This is kinda like [b:My Dark Vanessa|44890081|My Dark Vanessa|Kate Elizabeth Russell|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1583447793l/44890081._SY75_.jpg|67044583] (but with murder) in terms of sad and depressy vibes and poignant writing. I think listening to it on audio kept me from totally spiralling into sadness vs digesting fully with my eyeballs (I'm a visual learner fyi).
I absolutely LOVED the narrator. Damn she KILLED it (pun not intended). The voice she used for a young Chrissie was top two and it ain't two. She really brought the character to life. The scene where Chrissie yells NO ONE LIKES ME... *chefs kiss*.
This is also the brand name version of [b:Blood Sugar|58517116|Blood Sugar|Sascha Rothchild|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1629823949l/58517116._SY75_.jpg|86656106]. Unlike Blood Sugar, which is bogged down by main chick's intolerable inner monologue about what a special star she is, this book really shows you how Chrissie's sad af home life turned her into a monster. Without telling, telling, telling, you see how Julia still struggles to live as an adult after growing up without a semblance of normal childhood. The theme of redemption is strong throughout, and may challenge the reader's bandwidth of forgiveness and empathy. Can a child murderer really grow up to be a good person? Find tf out yourself and read this book!
This book is not for the faint of heart. TWs for basically everything so know thyself. Also, I wouldn't classify this as a thriller or anything of the sort. Is "sad and depressy" a genre? If so, this is it.
Audiobook rating: YERRRRRR (translation: loved it) | Performance: 5/5 | Plot: 4/5 | Ending: 5/5
I've been putting this one off for awhile because I was scurred of the emotional wreckage, but I'm glad I finally dove in. This is kinda like [b:My Dark Vanessa|44890081|My Dark Vanessa|Kate Elizabeth Russell|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1583447793l/44890081._SY75_.jpg|67044583] (but with murder) in terms of sad and depressy vibes and poignant writing. I think listening to it on audio kept me from totally spiralling into sadness vs digesting fully with my eyeballs (I'm a visual learner fyi).
I absolutely LOVED the narrator. Damn she KILLED it (pun not intended). The voice she used for a young Chrissie was top two and it ain't two. She really brought the character to life. The scene where Chrissie yells NO ONE LIKES ME... *chefs kiss*.
This is also the brand name version of [b:Blood Sugar|58517116|Blood Sugar|Sascha Rothchild|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1629823949l/58517116._SY75_.jpg|86656106]. Unlike Blood Sugar, which is bogged down by main chick's intolerable inner monologue about what a special star she is, this book really shows you how Chrissie's sad af home life turned her into a monster. Without telling, telling, telling, you see how Julia still struggles to live as an adult after growing up without a semblance of normal childhood. The theme of redemption is strong throughout, and may challenge the reader's bandwidth of forgiveness and empathy. Can a child murderer really grow up to be a good person? Find tf out yourself and read this book!
This book is not for the faint of heart. TWs for basically everything so know thyself. Also, I wouldn't classify this as a thriller or anything of the sort. Is "sad and depressy" a genre? If so, this is it.
beebella's review
5.0
minor spoilers/hinting??
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Absolutely phenomenal. The beginning I was a bit thrown off because the wording used isn't what I usually go for and Chrissy wasn't really someone I wanted to root for, but once I learnt more about her story I couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness for her. Julia and her daughter Molly tug at my heart strings in the best possible way. I love this book so much more than I thought I would and I'm so glad I stuck through the beginning. 10/10 would reccomend
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Absolutely phenomenal. The beginning I was a bit thrown off because the wording used isn't what I usually go for and Chrissy wasn't really someone I wanted to root for, but once I learnt more about her story I couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness for her. Julia and her daughter Molly tug at my heart strings in the best possible way. I love this book so much more than I thought I would and I'm so glad I stuck through the beginning. 10/10 would reccomend
karlyo83's review
5.0
My Rating Style: 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ticked all the boxes LOVED IT!!!
One morning…
One moment…
One yellow haired boy…
Was all it took for me to feel like god, it didn’t take much at all, I wrapped my hands around his neck and squeezed until he didn’t move anymore.
Meet Chrissie, she is 8 years old and has a secret, she has just killed a little boy. The feeling made her belly fizz like soda pop. Chrissie is the best at almost everything, wall walking, getting free candy, handstands and now she’s got all the power.
Food is scare at a home for Chrissie and attention even scarcer, but shes not afraid, she feels like god and anyway she knows more than most people…
Twenty years later Chrissie is a single mum hiding under a changed name since her incarceration. She wants her daughter to have the life she never did (in more ways than one). People are always hunting Chrissie and she fears one thing more than losing her life again and that is losing her daughter.
I read the synopsis for this one at least once a month all year, and only put it on my TBR list after I read some complimentary reviews. Even then it took me all the way until the end of the year to finally pick it up…. Well what the hell was I waiting for. This book was excellent. It was written so well, with such feeling and grit. What a way to debut into fiction - Well done Nancy Tucker!!
Once again we have my favourite style multi-POV and multi-timelines. We are treated to the world via Chrissie’s eyes at age 8 and also 20 years later (name now Julia). The sections that are written as child Chrissie you would think are lifted exactly out of a transcript of a child’s mind. At first you could be mistaken for thinking that Chrissie truly believes she is the best, with no worries, and no fear… but as you read further to see the underbelly of her life.
Chrissie is living in a loveless home, with an abusive mother, barely any food on a regular basis and she is a pariah of her poor neighbourhood. From time to time I completely forgot that Chrissie in fact murdered a boy, because her story is so tragic and sad that I wanted to bundle her up (kicking and screaming as she definitely would have been - she is tough and fierce you know) and give her a big hot dinner, a bath and a safe place to live. If perhaps someone had done this for this poor little lamb she wouldn’t have turned into a murderer - nature vs nurture??
Chrissie is a killer that fact is stated up front, but as the story unfolds we begin to see the tragedy that led to this crime and no matter how unforgivable her actions are, the actions of the adults surrounding her are also unforgivable. I am not ashamed to say that I felt my heart break for little Chrissie even though she seemed to show almost no remorse for her crimes… read between the lines in this story it truly shattered me.
In the Julia sections of the book, Chrissie is barely holding it together, having grown up (for a huge portion of her life) in a child’s detention centre she was thrust into the world after her incarceration an “adult” in name only. Chrissie is used to having her whole world decided for her so when she is fending for herself she reverts to doing so in a childlike manner. Drinking litres of coke at all hours of the night until her teeth ache, eating whatever sweets she likes instead of real food and generally living a child’s life.
Finding out she is pregnant after a poor choice of companion makes Chrissie grow up quickly. Once she has her daughter to care for she want to give her the life she never had, in all the ways, love, food, reading, warmth and no incarceration. She is constantly living in fear that one wrong move, one deviation from her schedule and one late dinner will result in Molly being ripped from her grasp and her never to be seen again.
She also feels insurmountable guilt at having a gorgeous, smart and lovely baby girl when she herself deprived parents from their child.
It is difficult not to feel sorry for Chrissie, although I absolutely do not condone the actions she took as a child. To say the mixed feelings were there throughout is an understatement.
From a little bit of research I found that the author has suffered from anorexia, an unforgivable illness that many don’t recover from. I found this out after I read the book and could see that Tucker manages to weave magic into her descriptions of hunger and desperation (I imagine from her own experiences). She unfolds how how the hunger ate away at Chrissie’s very being, this was extremely well done and I would imagine very difficult for the author so well done again ma’am, well done.
The hunger, abusive mother and sense of being so poor you don’t know what will happen next is all a very real (thankfully distant) memory for me, needless to say this book gave me all the feels. Know your limits though because the subject matter is uncomfortable and devastating at times so take care.
Overall, was it perfect - nope - but what book is truly perfect. Was it brilliant - absolutely- I am so glad I read it and I would recommend it to anyone who can handle these types of novels.
One morning…
One moment…
One yellow haired boy…
Was all it took for me to feel like god, it didn’t take much at all, I wrapped my hands around his neck and squeezed until he didn’t move anymore.
Meet Chrissie, she is 8 years old and has a secret, she has just killed a little boy. The feeling made her belly fizz like soda pop. Chrissie is the best at almost everything, wall walking, getting free candy, handstands and now she’s got all the power.
Food is scare at a home for Chrissie and attention even scarcer, but shes not afraid, she feels like god and anyway she knows more than most people…
Twenty years later Chrissie is a single mum hiding under a changed name since her incarceration. She wants her daughter to have the life she never did (in more ways than one). People are always hunting Chrissie and she fears one thing more than losing her life again and that is losing her daughter.
I read the synopsis for this one at least once a month all year, and only put it on my TBR list after I read some complimentary reviews. Even then it took me all the way until the end of the year to finally pick it up…. Well what the hell was I waiting for. This book was excellent. It was written so well, with such feeling and grit. What a way to debut into fiction - Well done Nancy Tucker!!
Once again we have my favourite style multi-POV and multi-timelines. We are treated to the world via Chrissie’s eyes at age 8 and also 20 years later (name now Julia). The sections that are written as child Chrissie you would think are lifted exactly out of a transcript of a child’s mind. At first you could be mistaken for thinking that Chrissie truly believes she is the best, with no worries, and no fear… but as you read further to see the underbelly of her life.
Chrissie is living in a loveless home, with an abusive mother, barely any food on a regular basis and she is a pariah of her poor neighbourhood. From time to time I completely forgot that Chrissie in fact murdered a boy, because her story is so tragic and sad that I wanted to bundle her up (kicking and screaming as she definitely would have been - she is tough and fierce you know) and give her a big hot dinner, a bath and a safe place to live. If perhaps someone had done this for this poor little lamb she wouldn’t have turned into a murderer - nature vs nurture??
Chrissie is a killer that fact is stated up front, but as the story unfolds we begin to see the tragedy that led to this crime and no matter how unforgivable her actions are, the actions of the adults surrounding her are also unforgivable. I am not ashamed to say that I felt my heart break for little Chrissie even though she seemed to show almost no remorse for her crimes… read between the lines in this story it truly shattered me.
In the Julia sections of the book, Chrissie is barely holding it together, having grown up (for a huge portion of her life) in a child’s detention centre she was thrust into the world after her incarceration an “adult” in name only. Chrissie is used to having her whole world decided for her so when she is fending for herself she reverts to doing so in a childlike manner. Drinking litres of coke at all hours of the night until her teeth ache, eating whatever sweets she likes instead of real food and generally living a child’s life.
Finding out she is pregnant after a poor choice of companion makes Chrissie grow up quickly. Once she has her daughter to care for she want to give her the life she never had, in all the ways, love, food, reading, warmth and no incarceration. She is constantly living in fear that one wrong move, one deviation from her schedule and one late dinner will result in Molly being ripped from her grasp and her never to be seen again.
She also feels insurmountable guilt at having a gorgeous, smart and lovely baby girl when she herself deprived parents from their child.
It is difficult not to feel sorry for Chrissie, although I absolutely do not condone the actions she took as a child. To say the mixed feelings were there throughout is an understatement.
From a little bit of research I found that the author has suffered from anorexia, an unforgivable illness that many don’t recover from. I found this out after I read the book and could see that Tucker manages to weave magic into her descriptions of hunger and desperation (I imagine from her own experiences). She unfolds how how the hunger ate away at Chrissie’s very being, this was extremely well done and I would imagine very difficult for the author so well done again ma’am, well done.
The hunger, abusive mother and sense of being so poor you don’t know what will happen next is all a very real (thankfully distant) memory for me, needless to say this book gave me all the feels. Know your limits though because the subject matter is uncomfortable and devastating at times so take care.
Overall, was it perfect - nope - but what book is truly perfect. Was it brilliant - absolutely- I am so glad I read it and I would recommend it to anyone who can handle these types of novels.
thebookishbrewbabe's review
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
abbylriley's review
dark
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
This is an absolutely chilling read, so good I truly lack the proper words to explain it. Its not for everyone, really— it’s extremely dark and emotional, but very much worth the time if you can stomach it.
redrumreads's review
3.25
What a strange little girl....
This is must less a horror book than it is an exploration into what happens to a child when they are left to fend for themselves each and every day without anyone to care for them. Weirdly, I don't blame her for her actions.
I loved the back and forth POV as the story slowly unwound. Her inner dialogue reminded me so much of 'Strange Sally Diamond'
This is must less a horror book than it is an exploration into what happens to a child when they are left to fend for themselves each and every day without anyone to care for them. Weirdly, I don't blame her for her actions.
I loved the back and forth POV as the story slowly unwound. Her inner dialogue reminded me so much of 'Strange Sally Diamond'
ashmartinez33's review
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? N/A
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
holy cow this was just insanely sad and dark all around. it’s a thriller that reads like true crime and i was hooked all the way through to see it out. a really great debut novel, i’ll be keeping my eyes peeled & will def buy another book from this author if she writes one!
unnecessairie's review
dark
mysterious
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
puffmattie's review
dark
emotional
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
2.5
helloclarisse's review
3.0
i didn’t particularly enjoy this book. not because i thought it was written poorly but because of the subject matter. the story alternates between the POV of 8 year old Chrissie who has just killed a little boy and adult Chrissie, who now has a little girl and fears that CPS will take her daughter away.
This story was very bleak and sad, which I typically like but I really couldn’t sympathize with Chrissie because of the murder.
Not a terrible book, but not one that I’ll recommend to others.
This story was very bleak and sad, which I typically like but I really couldn’t sympathize with Chrissie because of the murder.
Not a terrible book, but not one that I’ll recommend to others.