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thebookishepicure's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
sidharthvardhan's review
5.0
"She was the kind of reckless person who read the weather report after her boat was already miles away from shore. I could not imagine her any other way."
Despite the somewhat cliched title, this was a very beautiful book. Anuradha Roy has a booker nomination for another book so I have no idea why this one didn't cut it to at least long list. It's definately better than many books that got listed and it is right up booker alley - based in an English colony; has absent mothers, narrator is old man remininsing his past, and also has a western person visiting the colony (I can remember dozens of stories that has a white person in British colony). Honestly, some of Sahitya Academy winners that never got listed in booker list I have read make me question whether booker can in any measure be considered the litmus test of best new arrivals in English literature.
As for themes, the narrator remineces about his absent mother. yet another absent mother! I think I have read at least half a dozen novels centered around absent mother's this year, most of them from booker lists.
If I compare all those novels I read this year about absent mothers (at least a few of them were biographical), this is one I loved most. Partially, it is because it was not too experimental.
The novel begins (I keep trying to start this review and getting off lane like Tristam Shendy) with narrator remembering the Times of his childhood in British India. Though there are several themes explored, the most obvious one in first one-third of the novel is the juxtaposition of his idealist self-sacrificing and family-member's-happiness-sacrificing father Nek Chand (a Gandhian) and his artistically bent hedonist mother, Gaitari a Tagore fan). Nek Chand seems to be fighting a crucial fight and after all, much of happiness of independent Indians is owed to people like him. Yet, you could more easily relate to Gaitari who just wants to enjoy her life.
" IN MY CHILDHOOD, I was known as the boy whose mother had run off with an Englishman. The man was in fact German, but in small-town India in those days, all white foreigners were largely thought of as British. This unconcern for accuracy annoyed my scholarly father even in circumstances as dire as losing his wife to another man."
(To me personally, it is one of the best opening I have read.)
Unlike some idealists, he is not hyprocrite but he does force his ideals on his family.
"It was bad form to discuss anything but politics when our countrymen and -women were going to jail for us."
This doesn't sit well with his wife:
"Propriety, sobriety, obedience: these were the very things she had made it her life’s mission to annihilate."
(Why don't I meet such cool people in real life)
Tagore and Gandhi whom they seem to mirror at times, are also the most iconic figures in India eepresenring this false dichotomy (hedonist art versus self-sacrificing idealism). (While Gandi doesn't make it to this, Tagore does make a cameo. Walter Spies is one of main characters.)
The contrast is also provided to these two by Dinu's parents, whose father is an opportunist (to contrast narrator's idealist father) and whose mother contrasts narrator's in her complete lack of personality:
"Dinu’s mother was known only as “Dinu’s Mother”; nobody remembered her name anymore."
That Gaitari should leave is no surprise but she doesn't leave for romantic love (thats a cliche well dodged) but to save herself. She explains her reasons herself:
"There are times I have been afraid I will lose all that is myself. I felt myself turning into the person NC wanted me to be, just for a few moments’ peace, how easy to please people. How easy not to cause unpleasantness. My mother always said, Whatever you do, Gayatri, don’t cause any unpleasantness. As though pleasantness is life’s single goal."
That might be another reason to love the book, the absent mother does get a a voice in the book. Now if it was a George Eliot book, it would be thrice as long and hee husband would die mid way leaving her rich but since he didn't, she had to run away like that lady in Ibsen's Doll House.
"... in her personal list of the seven deadly sins, obedience sat somewhere at the top and propriety followed close behind."
Mine too. Propreity is probably the most common folly of idealists and NC too suffers from it. Gaitari was right as well not to give in - later, her husband married again and drove his second wife to madness. The second wife was a window which given the times was to his credit but his need to force his ways on her, to make her proper, drove her mad.
And this book is epistolatory in parts as Gaitari is heard through her letters. In those letters, you see her desire to be with her child as well. Early on, you learn that she wanted to take him with her but couldn't as he was late from school that day.
There is of course the child waiting for his mother, he lives in a place named Muntazir after all:
"in Urdu the meaning of the word muntazir was to wait for with anxious impatience"
That he should mould all his life around this eternal wait is something you expect as a part of the course of good character development.
Here is a good line of thinking for those who stay married for the sake of their children:
"I destroyed no families, not in the way I might have if I had stayed."
More quotes:
▪ The lady is the kind of woman who has a past that is not yet wholly past.”
▪ I loved to read how he is teaching Indian soldiers to drive. It makes me smile, your story of how Indians are used to horses so they step on the gas when they sight a ditch.
▪ people turn into things when there are too many in one place.
Why not pause for an eternity where there is reason to pause? Why stay an extra minute when there is reason to leave?
Someday there will be art you can eat. First you observe it and make deep, learned notes on it for an essay, then you eat it and write more notes.”
Despite the somewhat cliched title, this was a very beautiful book. Anuradha Roy has a booker nomination for another book so I have no idea why this one didn't cut it to at least long list. It's definately better than many books that got listed and it is right up booker alley - based in an English colony; has absent mothers, narrator is old man remininsing his past, and also has a western person visiting the colony (I can remember dozens of stories that has a white person in British colony). Honestly, some of Sahitya Academy winners that never got listed in booker list I have read make me question whether booker can in any measure be considered the litmus test of best new arrivals in English literature.
As for themes, the narrator remineces about his absent mother. yet another absent mother! I think I have read at least half a dozen novels centered around absent mother's this year, most of them from booker lists.
If I compare all those novels I read this year about absent mothers (at least a few of them were biographical), this is one I loved most. Partially, it is because it was not too experimental.
The novel begins (I keep trying to start this review and getting off lane like Tristam Shendy) with narrator remembering the Times of his childhood in British India. Though there are several themes explored, the most obvious one in first one-third of the novel is the juxtaposition of his idealist self-sacrificing and family-member's-happiness-sacrificing father Nek Chand (a Gandhian) and his artistically bent hedonist mother, Gaitari a Tagore fan). Nek Chand seems to be fighting a crucial fight and after all, much of happiness of independent Indians is owed to people like him. Yet, you could more easily relate to Gaitari who just wants to enjoy her life.
" IN MY CHILDHOOD, I was known as the boy whose mother had run off with an Englishman. The man was in fact German, but in small-town India in those days, all white foreigners were largely thought of as British. This unconcern for accuracy annoyed my scholarly father even in circumstances as dire as losing his wife to another man."
(To me personally, it is one of the best opening I have read.)
Unlike some idealists, he is not hyprocrite but he does force his ideals on his family.
"It was bad form to discuss anything but politics when our countrymen and -women were going to jail for us."
This doesn't sit well with his wife:
"Propriety, sobriety, obedience: these were the very things she had made it her life’s mission to annihilate."
(Why don't I meet such cool people in real life)
Tagore and Gandhi whom they seem to mirror at times, are also the most iconic figures in India eepresenring this false dichotomy (hedonist art versus self-sacrificing idealism). (While Gandi doesn't make it to this, Tagore does make a cameo. Walter Spies is one of main characters.)
The contrast is also provided to these two by Dinu's parents, whose father is an opportunist (to contrast narrator's idealist father) and whose mother contrasts narrator's in her complete lack of personality:
"Dinu’s mother was known only as “Dinu’s Mother”; nobody remembered her name anymore."
That Gaitari should leave is no surprise but she doesn't leave for romantic love (thats a cliche well dodged) but to save herself. She explains her reasons herself:
"There are times I have been afraid I will lose all that is myself. I felt myself turning into the person NC wanted me to be, just for a few moments’ peace, how easy to please people. How easy not to cause unpleasantness. My mother always said, Whatever you do, Gayatri, don’t cause any unpleasantness. As though pleasantness is life’s single goal."
That might be another reason to love the book, the absent mother does get a a voice in the book. Now if it was a George Eliot book, it would be thrice as long and hee husband would die mid way leaving her rich but since he didn't, she had to run away like that lady in Ibsen's Doll House.
"... in her personal list of the seven deadly sins, obedience sat somewhere at the top and propriety followed close behind."
Mine too. Propreity is probably the most common folly of idealists and NC too suffers from it. Gaitari was right as well not to give in - later, her husband married again and drove his second wife to madness. The second wife was a window which given the times was to his credit but his need to force his ways on her, to make her proper, drove her mad.
And this book is epistolatory in parts as Gaitari is heard through her letters. In those letters, you see her desire to be with her child as well. Early on, you learn that she wanted to take him with her but couldn't as he was late from school that day.
There is of course the child waiting for his mother, he lives in a place named Muntazir after all:
"in Urdu the meaning of the word muntazir was to wait for with anxious impatience"
That he should mould all his life around this eternal wait is something you expect as a part of the course of good character development.
Here is a good line of thinking for those who stay married for the sake of their children:
"I destroyed no families, not in the way I might have if I had stayed."
More quotes:
▪ The lady is the kind of woman who has a past that is not yet wholly past.”
▪ I loved to read how he is teaching Indian soldiers to drive. It makes me smile, your story of how Indians are used to horses so they step on the gas when they sight a ditch.
▪ people turn into things when there are too many in one place.
Why not pause for an eternity where there is reason to pause? Why stay an extra minute when there is reason to leave?
Someday there will be art you can eat. First you observe it and make deep, learned notes on it for an essay, then you eat it and write more notes.”
sometimes_iread's review
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
It is often when reading books that cover a character’s lifetime and the wider geopolitical landscape that I find it difficult to encapsulate my thoughts coherently. The scope is just far too broad for my limited perspective to fully comprehend. All the Lives We Never Lived by Anuradha Roy is no different.
Here, we meet Myshkin in his twilight years as he reflects upon his life and the impact his mother’s leaving had on it. We skip back and forth between Myshkin’s recollection of his childhood and his current life before he stumbles upon a packet of letters from his mother. This discovery rocks his beliefs and sets into motion a plan to reconcile the missing parts of his identity.
I have to admit that I was not invested in the story at the start. The ramblings of an old man can lean toward the self-important and, with all the callousness of the young(er), I wondered why I should care. It was only when Gayathri, Myshkin’s mother, and her relationship with her child was fleshed out that I was hooked. What can I say, I’m always drawn to stories of women and their uneasy relationships with the world. Freudian perhaps?
Anyway, Roy paints a compelling picture of a woman at odds with the very idea of womanhood in 1920s India. The image of a caged bird comes to mind, aided by a nickname of Gayathri’s by one of her two artist friends. A sunbird’s beauty is stunning in the wild, but when placed in captivity, its brilliance can easily be dimmed. Similarly, Gayathri chafed under societal and familial expectations of womanhood and longed to be return to her roots as an artist. However, as with any held captive for a prolonged period, return to the wild is not easy and not all can make that transition. What more for Gayathri, considering the change motherhood brings, no matter how reluctant.
That aside, I found Myshkin’s journey to reacquainting himself with his mother poignant and bittersweet. There is just something sad about children realizing their parents’ personhood separate from themselves. Especially in such cases as this, when the child is profoundly impacted in ways that never should have been. Honestly, Myshkin’s grandfather might just be my favourite character in this entire book. Unassuming, astute, and supportive in the small ways that matter, this man truly is someone to aspire to.
I’ve waxed long and lyrical on the characters but there is something to be said about the themes as well. Briefly, I thought the idea of the white savior quite well-handled. Yes, Walter and Beryl did swoop in and pull Gayathri out of her stifling home situation, but did they truly save her when she was constantly pining for her son? Plus, the idea of the white savior unable to save himself was rather satisfying too, because can anyone truly save themselves?
Once again, I’ve read a book that engages me and as a result, I’ve rambled on and on. If you actually read everything, thank you. I hope that it would reflect my appreciation for this book in some way or another.
Diversity meter:
Indian characters
Strong female characters
becsmars's review
adventurous
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.5
kevin_shepherd's review against another edition
4.0
"I need nobody else. I am contented and complete with my animals in a way I never have been with human beings. People think of my solitude as an eccentricity or a symptom of failure, as if I am closer to animals and trees because human beings betrayed me or because I found nobody to love. It is hard to explain to them that the shade of a tree I planted years ago or the feverish intensity of a dog fruitlessly chasing a butterfly provides what no human companionship can."
This isn't a particularly happy story. Myshkin Rozario is a boy growing up in a world where his father is emotionally detached, his mother is physically distant, and his homeland of India is on the precipice of World War II. This could have potentially been an immensely depressing read, but it wasn't. Anuradha Roy's prose really brings the natural beauty of India (and later Bali) to life, and her style fleshes-out her characters in such a way that you can't help but feel varying levels of understanding and empathy.
If you feel you're living in a dangerous era and you're seeking a respite through fanciful fiction, this is not your book. But if you think you're up for a gritty Indian excursion laced with hope and history and heartbreak, I highly recommend giving it a go.
This isn't a particularly happy story. Myshkin Rozario is a boy growing up in a world where his father is emotionally detached, his mother is physically distant, and his homeland of India is on the precipice of World War II. This could have potentially been an immensely depressing read, but it wasn't. Anuradha Roy's prose really brings the natural beauty of India (and later Bali) to life, and her style fleshes-out her characters in such a way that you can't help but feel varying levels of understanding and empathy.
If you feel you're living in a dangerous era and you're seeking a respite through fanciful fiction, this is not your book. But if you think you're up for a gritty Indian excursion laced with hope and history and heartbreak, I highly recommend giving it a go.
dieuwkemonica's review
dark
emotional
reflective
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.5
Book was about 50 pages too long for my tast.
cmwilliams29's review
4.0
Beautifully written. The characters are so developed and relatable, flawed in their own ways. A sad but simultaneously inspiring read.
cristiana_criss's review against another edition
4.0
Toate viețile pe care nu le-am trăit nu se limitează la o simplă poveste despre un băiețel abandonat de mama lui care încearcă să-i înțeleagă motivele, deși, la prima vedere, așa pare. Nu mă așteptam, însă, să descopăr o carte care abordează atâtea teme, și din perspective diferite, făcându-mă să o termin atât de repede. Nu pot să-mi dau seama ce m-a atras mai mult - libertatea pe care personajele feminine au susținut-o cu tărie, într-o lume în care nu le permitea așa ceva, sau frumusețea peisajelor prin care autoarea m-a purtat în cele 300 de pagini.
În India colonială, tânăra Gayatri se zbate între rolul de mamă și soție supusă și visul pe care îl avea încă de mică - să fie o artistă cunoscută și să călătorească. În urma întâlnirii cu doi străini (Walter Spies, un iubitor al artelor și naturii, și Beryl de Zoete, o feministă britanică îndrăgostită de dansurile orientale), Gayatri realizează limitele vieții ei alături de un soț naționalist care o desconsideră și o judecă pentru afinitățile ei artistice. Faptul că își abandonează familia (un gest condamnabil în cultura indiană), îi deschide drumul către noua ei viață în Bali, unde reușește să se dedice total picturii. În urma sa, Mîșkin, un băiețel de doar nouă ani, este lovit de sentimente contradictorii - confuzie, singurătate, dor, și chiar ură, înțelegând abia la bătrânețe, din câteva scrisori trimise de mama lui unei prietene, ce a însemnat pentru ea plecarea și ce greutăți a fost nevoită să depășească (bariera lingvistică, dorul de casă, boala, lipsa banilor).
Autoarea reușește să surprindă foarte bine aspecte din viața socială și politică de atunci, de la petrecerile specifice indiene, cu muzica, portul colorat și felurile condimentate de mâncare, până la naționalismul din colonia britanică, tensiunile din timpul războiului dintre olandezi și japonezi în Java și Bali și lagărele de la baza munților Himalaya. O carte cu un mix de credințe, viziuni politice, arte, peisaje și culori - ocru, verde smarald, portocaliu de apus.
„N.C. nu e în esență un om rău, înțeleg asta. (...) Oamenii îl respectă pentru că trăiește după reguli (...) și nici nu e indulgent cu propria-i persoană. Nu e indulgent nici cu nimeni altcineva. Nici măcar o clipă de odihnă! Mereu zbătându-se să fie important. E atât de plictisitor! Înainte să-ți dai seama, ești în mijlocul unei prelegeri, iar el crede că știe ce-i mai bine și tu nu ești decât o femeie prostuță care se înșală amarnic dacă nu ești de acord cu el sau cu Mukti a lui. (...) M-a umilit ori de câte ori a avut ocazia. Voia ca prietenii lui să râdă de mine și să mă trateze de sus. Ridiculiza cărțile pe care le citeam și picturile pe care le făceam. (...) Sau poate cu mine e ceva în neregulă - se zice că pentru femei casa, soțul și copiii sunt totul. De ce nu erau de ajuns pentru mine? Femeia aia niciodată n-a fost bună de nimic, o să decreteze mama lui Dinu în stilul ei teatral. Gayatri Rozario cea Capricioasă.”
În India colonială, tânăra Gayatri se zbate între rolul de mamă și soție supusă și visul pe care îl avea încă de mică - să fie o artistă cunoscută și să călătorească. În urma întâlnirii cu doi străini (Walter Spies, un iubitor al artelor și naturii, și Beryl de Zoete, o feministă britanică îndrăgostită de dansurile orientale), Gayatri realizează limitele vieții ei alături de un soț naționalist care o desconsideră și o judecă pentru afinitățile ei artistice. Faptul că își abandonează familia (un gest condamnabil în cultura indiană), îi deschide drumul către noua ei viață în Bali, unde reușește să se dedice total picturii. În urma sa, Mîșkin, un băiețel de doar nouă ani, este lovit de sentimente contradictorii - confuzie, singurătate, dor, și chiar ură, înțelegând abia la bătrânețe, din câteva scrisori trimise de mama lui unei prietene, ce a însemnat pentru ea plecarea și ce greutăți a fost nevoită să depășească (bariera lingvistică, dorul de casă, boala, lipsa banilor).
Autoarea reușește să surprindă foarte bine aspecte din viața socială și politică de atunci, de la petrecerile specifice indiene, cu muzica, portul colorat și felurile condimentate de mâncare, până la naționalismul din colonia britanică, tensiunile din timpul războiului dintre olandezi și japonezi în Java și Bali și lagărele de la baza munților Himalaya. O carte cu un mix de credințe, viziuni politice, arte, peisaje și culori - ocru, verde smarald, portocaliu de apus.
„N.C. nu e în esență un om rău, înțeleg asta. (...) Oamenii îl respectă pentru că trăiește după reguli (...) și nici nu e indulgent cu propria-i persoană. Nu e indulgent nici cu nimeni altcineva. Nici măcar o clipă de odihnă! Mereu zbătându-se să fie important. E atât de plictisitor! Înainte să-ți dai seama, ești în mijlocul unei prelegeri, iar el crede că știe ce-i mai bine și tu nu ești decât o femeie prostuță care se înșală amarnic dacă nu ești de acord cu el sau cu Mukti a lui. (...) M-a umilit ori de câte ori a avut ocazia. Voia ca prietenii lui să râdă de mine și să mă trateze de sus. Ridiculiza cărțile pe care le citeam și picturile pe care le făceam. (...) Sau poate cu mine e ceva în neregulă - se zice că pentru femei casa, soțul și copiii sunt totul. De ce nu erau de ajuns pentru mine? Femeia aia niciodată n-a fost bună de nimic, o să decreteze mama lui Dinu în stilul ei teatral. Gayatri Rozario cea Capricioasă.”
ragsrags's review
4.0
Delicious! Read it for the layered unfolding of memory. The pace is measured (but a little too one-paced), the voice (especially Gayatri's) is tinged and poignant and human.
kavya09's review
adventurous
emotional
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.25