Reviews tagging 'Sexism'

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski

24 reviews

alexiconic's review against another edition

hopeful informative inspiring medium-paced

4.5

what a great, loving, easy-to-read book. it’s a great clarification of how sex works for many people, especially but definitely not just women. its funny, filled with experience (personal and professional) and reassurance that, whatever your body does, unless you are in pain, you’re probably really normal. 

i do wish there was a little bit more attention towards other genders (although that may be another book entirely), as i’m still not clear on why in general women experience responsive desire to a larger extent than others. perhaps the details on that are still out. 

and i wish there was a bit more development on to how to move on from realizing that - bluntly - you are normal and feeling anger because of the persistent, incorrect and harmful messages around us. like, what do you do with that anger, sadness? how exactly can you process it without becoming stuck in it? 

but those are two small things in an otherwise very accessible and well-written book. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual content, Sexism, Sexual assault, Alcohol, Body shaming, Medical content, and Misogyny

biblioglot's review

informative inspiring lighthearted medium-paced

4.5

Really enjoyed how well-researched this book is as well as the social commentary. The encouragement to embrace yourself, whatever that looks like, reassured me. I enjoyed the author’s writing style too. The stories shared resonated with me.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book and would for sure recommend it to others who want to keep exploring their sexuality or those who are seeking validation that they’re normal. I easily understood the concepts and found them relevant to my own life. 

Her final words were warm and inclusive. Loved it. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual assault, Rape, and Sexism

growintogardens's review against another edition

informative medium-paced

4.25

Lots of important scientific info about sex. The writing was accessible, but a little awkward at times. The audiobook had music at times which was weird and annoying. There was a lot of repetition, which can be helpful for people to retain info, but it was a bit much. Overall, I learned a few things that made me feel better about myself and sex in general. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual content

Moderate: Misogyny, Rape, Sexism, and Sexual assault

Minor: Stalking and Domestic abuse

carlar's review against another edition

hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.0

Reading this book will probably be the first time you hear there is nothing wrong or broken about your sexuality. It’s informative, easy to understand, and has something for everyone.

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Sexual content

Minor: Grief, Homophobia, Medical content, Medical trauma, Rape, Stalking, Sexual assault, Sexism, Body shaming, Misogyny, Lesbophobia, and Sexual harassment

takarakei's review against another edition

informative medium-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexism, Sexual content, and Misogyny

Moderate: Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Mental illness, Body shaming, Rape, Animal cruelty, Gaslighting, and Fatphobia

Minor: Ableism, Toxic relationship, and Pregnancy

Unfortunately a lot of modern science is based on animal testing/experiments, some of which are described in this book

riverofhorton's review against another edition

challenging funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective slow-paced

3.75

So much of this book is useful... To someone else.

I found I didn't learn a vast amount from this book, and the bits I did learn gave me more of a "Huh, so that answers this personal trauma question", rather than increasing my understanding of sexuality in general.

So many times the book says something, then it'll say "More on that in chapter x." or "Remember this from chapter y?" and it just served as a jolt in the flow.

One of the things I didn't like, and feel I need to mention: This book uses gender where it should be using sex, and woman where it should be using AFAB, etc. I understand that this was likely done to avoid confusing sex the action with sex the characteristic, but it's the kind of thing that I can see affecting other trans masc people more than I. Using gender (and woman) implies that this book would not apply to trans guys, because gender, but it does apply to us (without surgical intervention) because sex.

It does also seem to portray "Don't want/enjoy sex, that's OKay, change the context and you will." Which skirts a little too close to being Acephobic for my comfort. Some people just aren't interested in sex, and that's OKay.

The basic sum, is that this seems to very much be aimed at the cis woman in a heterosexual monogamous relationship seeking to understand her body and sexuality. Which is great for the cishet woman in a mono relationship. And while there are bits that can be applied to folx that don't fit those categories, the lack of inclusive language is noticeable.

Overall, I can see why this book is so popular, and I will be recommending it to others, with the above caveat as needed, but I just didn't get much out of it that I couldn't have got from trauma therapy.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Pregnancy, Sexual harassment, Body shaming, Bullying, Chronic illness, Sexual content, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Domestic abuse, Dysphoria, Emotional abuse, Infertility, Mental illness, Misogyny, Injury/Injury detail, Panic attacks/disorders, Medical trauma, Physical abuse, Stalking, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Violence, Child abuse, Grief, Medical content, Abortion, Eating disorder, Infidelity, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Acephobia/Arophobia, and Biphobia

bootsmom3's review

challenging emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring lighthearted medium-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual content, Sexism, and Misogyny

Moderate: Sexual assault, Sexual violence, and Animal cruelty

Minor: Medical trauma, Body shaming, and Medical content

lizziaha's review against another edition

4.0

Slightly outside the target audience for this book, but good info nonetheless. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Misogyny, and Sexism

jcinf's review against another edition

inspiring reflective slow-paced

4.5

For nonfiction, I really enjoyed this. I’m not a nonfiction girly, so it did take me a little while to get through. 

But the narrator (I believe the author narrated) was really engaging. She had a great tone. Fun when it was time to be fun and serious when necessary, too. 

SA (s*exual ass*ult) trigger warning. But those parts were super well written. I appreciated how she didn’t linger on those parts too long. It felt just enough to inform without being triggering. 

My main complaint is that it felt redundant at times. Tho I can understand that she may have been redundant bc the whole point of the book is to shift narratives surrounding AFAB/women/femme people’s sex lives. And it’s hard to shift narratives rooted is misogyny with just a few sentences. 

Main topics I loved:
• dropping the shame around sex
• normalizing a diversity labias 
• understanding your style of desire — spontaneous or responsive 
• changing your expectations of yourself during sex

Highly recommend to anyone like me, who gets in their head during sex sometimes. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Misogyny, Sexual content, Sexism, and Sexual violence

Moderate: Sexual assault

Minor: Ableism

smokingchagga's review against another edition

informative inspiring reflective

5.0

Honestly, this passed my expectations (which were already very high) unbelievably well. While a lot of it is centered on cis women, I do believe it's useful for pretty much everyone. Much of the information and advice can be applied to almost any context, no matter the gender, sexuality, or sex of the reader.
I saw another review on Goodreads complaining about the huge amount of metaphors. They didn't bother me and did a lot to upkeep the 'lightness' of the book. I can see it being mildly annoying to some but it doesn't take away from what the book is saying. Besides, how can I critique a book that calls me a tomato plant?
Jokes aside, there were a few sentences and wording that made me 'hmm' but it's not significant enough to subtract stars from the rating.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexism

Moderate: Sexual assault

Feels interesting to add content warnings to a nonfiction book but it has to be said. Sexism and sexual assault are the most prevalent warnings. They are however discussed with care and understanding so I doubt it would be an issue in that sense. It does go into some detail about myths and harmful ideas about sexual assault which might be a hard thing to read about. Everything does absolutely have an optimistic undertone.