Reviews with content warning for Death - My Dark Vanessa

Reviews tagging 'Death'

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

196 reviews

nineinchnails's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

i feel weird reviewing and even rating this book considering the subject matter because even though it's technically fiction it feels horribly invasive, like reading someone's diary. it is very well written with beautiful prose and a protagonist who is extremely real and raw. the book did run a little long, especially considering there was little character development outside of vanessa but overall it was an extremely gripping read.

i would not recommend reading this as a survivor of rape and especially of child sexual abuse, more because of how adamant vanessa is that she was not abused than how graphic the abuse is written. it can be very hard to stomach her constant romanticisation and denial of strane's abuse, despite how obvious it us to us as readers that he manipulated her. 'manipulate' does not feel like anywhere near as strong of a word to portray how he controlled and exploited her.

vanessa is not a 'perfect victim' and she struggles with this well into adulthood; the idea that a woman must be perfectly chaste, perfectly humble, perfectly innocent, and perfectly untouched by the world to be believed or taken seriously as a victim is one that permeates our society to this day. what was she wearing?, she lead him on, she was asking for it, she wanted it. this novel does an incredible job at giving a voice to the many survivors who (unsurprisingly) don't fit that mould and showing a different perspective.

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potato_wytch's review against another edition

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dark reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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rciancio's review against another edition

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dark emotional hopeful sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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shakattxck's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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elizabethbilawey's review

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challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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alicia_belcourt's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

This book for me was a very slow read. It had taken me forever to finish it once I had started it, due to the fact that I had to keep taking breaks every so often. This book had a very dark plot about a student who is faced with the reality that she was abused by her teacher when she was in high school.

The concept of the plot alone intrigued me because I have never read anything like this book before, and it quickly continued to intrigue me the more I read. The writing style of this book was beautifully executed in my opinion because I feel that not many authors could so greatly execute a juxtaposition of the mind quite like Kate Elizabeth Russell did. She was constantly building on the idea of the relationship being romantically sought after by the main character, Vanessa. I also really loved reading how she continued to recount the key details that sparked and arose during the abusive relationship. As well as when Vanessa had continued to age and was still in contact with her abuser, I enjoyed the way Kate wrote about how Vanessa felt 'out of her body' because there were times when she described herself walking around or being 'far off' during scenes of the abuse. However there were aspects of the book that made it a bit of a tougher read for me. For example, Vanessa was at times made to be extremely unlikeable, and I mean this in the way that there were times of her recounting the events of abuse where she was constantly in a state of denial, even when presented with substantial 'evidence'. I understood the reasoning for this as I reached the end of the book, but at the moment it was very hard to stay focused in the book when the main character seemed so unlikable.

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smacey's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone. This is such an amazing portrayal of a teenage girl being groomed and subsequently abused by a man in a position of power. The manipulation and gaslighting, the convincing of it being romance and not abuse, making love and not rape, the deep, misplaced shame and guilt that comes with being groomed and sexually abused - My Dark Vanessa exposes the dark reality of how adult/child relationships that have been romanticized in popular media for ages affect those being abused, not only at the time, but for life.

I personally loved the way Kate Elizabeth Russell incorporated Lolita into the relationship throughout the entire book. I also loved her reasoning for this being that she wished when she was fourteen and found Lolita that this book had been there as well (reading the Behind the Book section increased my respect and appreciation for Russell and this book even more). Lolita is frequently framed as a love story and is told from the man's perspective, when in reality it is perverse and disturbing and puts a young girl through so much trauma. I will say, I haven't read Lolita yet, so I am probably not the best person to speak on it. That being said, it is still about a relationship between a child and a pedophile and that is enough to reason that it should not be labeled as a beautiful story of love and romance.

Russell's portrayal of dissociation and trauma response, even when experiencing a trauma that one may believe is actually not a trauma, is so spot on. Obviously anyone who has dissociated before has their own unique experience, but she captures the main aspects of it so well - the feeling of floating above your body, of seeing yourself and what is happening to you, of your mind escaping to another place. This quote felt like the perfect description of what it feels like to dissociate during a traumatic event: “She didn't understand the horror of watching your body star in something your mind didn't agree to.” The other after affects of trauma/symptoms of PTSD that Vanessa experiences are also so on point - making riskier decisions, avoidance of thoughts of the events and things that remind you of the events, uncontrollable flashbacks, having physical reactions when reminded of the event (e.g., sweating, troubles breathing), placing blame on yourself for what happened despite it not being your fault, and so many more (also the way that trauma can cause depressive symptoms as well). I'm so happy she chose to make this a first-person novel as I believe it was the best way to show how PTSD looks and feels following sexual assault.

There were so many moments throughout my time reading this book that I would relate to Vanessa, not because I have ever been abused by a teacher, but because I, as well as potentially all girls I'd argue, have been negatively affected by this culture that somehow justifies grown men pursuing young girls. It is blatant everywhere you go how men have somehow made it socially acceptable to sexualize children and young women. In music, TV and movies, books, and especially in porn, it is so wildly accepted and encouraged for men to view any and every person who is female as an object of pleasure for themselves, no matter the age. It is extremely harmful and damaging yet downplayed as being insignificant by so many. While there are so many instances that seem to so perfectly capture the feeling that all women have at some point in their life, this one is one that stuck with me and probably always will: “Somehow I sensed what was coming for me even then. Really, though, what girl doesn’t? It looms over you, that threat of violence. They drill the danger into your head until it starts to feel inevitable. You grow up wondering when it’s finally going to happen.” It's such a dark, disturbing reality, but it's entirely true.

The back and forth between years was enjoyable, although sometimes what parts were mentioned when in the more recent year in relation to the other timeframe seemed slightly ill-timed. That's really my only critique, though.

*SPOILER* (albeit minor)
Extra points to Russell for the depiction of the Pitbull that Vanessa adopts in the end. I also have a Pitbull-type breed dog that I rescued from the shelter who is the biggest sweetheart and immensely improves my mental health. It's so nice to see such a casual inclusion of a pibble in a book with no comparisons to other breeds or aggression but simply being described as a good dog. <3

In conclusion, this is one of my new favorite books. Read it if you have the ability to.

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