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david_slack110507's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
mysterious
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
I had to space out listening to this audiobook as it is not really something that you can easily consume given the content and topic matters that it expertly focuses on and tackles. The book follows the relationship between 15-year-old student Vanessa and her much older English teacher Jacob Strane in 2000. The book follows their initial hidden relationship as well as how it evolves as the two get older to the point that in 2017, the second timeline, we see where the two are following multiple previous students of Strane coming out against him with allegations of sexual abuse, grooming and being inappropriate with them, against the backdrop of the MeToo movement. The topics that the book deals with are very heavy and can be quite triggering to some but it's never done in an exploitative way or without care.
Vanessa is such an interesting character because she goes against the typical depiction of a victim being that she is not squeaky clean or 'good' and aware of what has been done to her but instead she isn't an incredible person, often being quite rude to those around her as a result of what has happened to her as well as also being adamant that what she and Strane had was "love" rather than acknowledging the grooming and abuse that took place and I think portraying Vanessa this way made her avoid becoming a cliche of a character that is only defined by their trauma or what has happened to them. It really is tough to see Vanessa first be so obviously taken advantage of and manipulated, through our viewpoint, and then continue to go through life seeing the relationship as loving to the point of putting down other women with similar stories as well as the women that come out against Strane over what he did to them. I really liked how the book also tackled some questions about the treatment of victims such as them being defined by what happened to them and nothing more as well as also this expectation that they should come forward about what has happened to them as soon as they can to help the cause or the movement and I think it allows the reader to take their own stance on whether or not they agree with how victims are treated in the media and by others when their trauma is made public.
Strane is a truly despicable character and I hated him and this hate didn't just come about because he is a groomer as that would elicit hate from me already but the way that Kate Elizabeth Russell writes him is incredibly well done as he is even more hateable due to how manipulative he is and how unapologetic he is in his actions and what he has done, even going so far as to blame Vanessa for making him fall in love with her, a teen with no actual power (even lacking the power to consent at times during the book), as if it isn't his own fault. The continued hold he had over Vanessa to the point that she even wanted to try and replicate what their relationship was like with her professor later on in her life shows just how much he messed her up and I'm so glad that the book didn't try and be sympathetic to him because he doesn't deserve any. The book allows him to be complex such as him being emotional and open to Vanessa almost like a normal relationship as well as being aware of what he is doing without ever portraying him as someone who is good but has just done a bad thing. The resolution to his character and the investigation into his allegations being unresolved was very fitting for how many victims don't end up getting any resolution or any justice even with Strane's suicide in the face of these allegations, there lacks a feeling of comeuppance over what he has done.
I really liked the topics and themes that this book deals with and with listening to this as an audiobook, Grace Gummer did an excellent job at bringing to life Vanessa as well as all the other characters and I didn't have any faults with her performances or really the book as a whole other than it sort of being a book you can only read once due to how heavy and disturbing it can be and the lack of a big revelation may disappoint some people but it feels true to life. I found myself researching more into the process that Russell wrote this book including responses to the backlash/polarising opinions that have come about due to its publication as well as the additional chapter in the audiobook featuring an interview between Russell and Gummer as well as the book's editor about the book and I found them all really interesting.
Vanessa is such an interesting character because she goes against the typical depiction of a victim being that she is not squeaky clean or 'good' and aware of what has been done to her but instead she isn't an incredible person, often being quite rude to those around her as a result of what has happened to her as well as also being adamant that what she and Strane had was "love" rather than acknowledging the grooming and abuse that took place and I think portraying Vanessa this way made her avoid becoming a cliche of a character that is only defined by their trauma or what has happened to them. It really is tough to see Vanessa first be so obviously taken advantage of and manipulated, through our viewpoint, and then continue to go through life seeing the relationship as loving to the point of putting down other women with similar stories as well as the women that come out against Strane over what he did to them. I really liked how the book also tackled some questions about the treatment of victims such as them being defined by what happened to them and nothing more as well as also this expectation that they should come forward about what has happened to them as soon as they can to help the cause or the movement and I think it allows the reader to take their own stance on whether or not they agree with how victims are treated in the media and by others when their trauma is made public.
Strane is a truly despicable character and I hated him and this hate didn't just come about because he is a groomer as that would elicit hate from me already but the way that Kate Elizabeth Russell writes him is incredibly well done as he is even more hateable due to how manipulative he is and how unapologetic he is in his actions and what he has done, even going so far as to blame Vanessa for making him fall in love with her, a teen with no actual power (even lacking the power to consent at times during the book), as if it isn't his own fault. The continued hold he had over Vanessa to the point that she even wanted to try and replicate what their relationship was like with her professor later on in her life shows just how much he messed her up and I'm so glad that the book didn't try and be sympathetic to him because he doesn't deserve any. The book allows him to be complex such as him being emotional and open to Vanessa almost like a normal relationship as well as being aware of what he is doing without ever portraying him as someone who is good but has just done a bad thing. The resolution to his character and the investigation into his allegations being unresolved was very fitting for how many victims don't end up getting any resolution or any justice even with Strane's suicide in the face of these allegations, there lacks a feeling of comeuppance over what he has done.
I really liked the topics and themes that this book deals with and with listening to this as an audiobook, Grace Gummer did an excellent job at bringing to life Vanessa as well as all the other characters and I didn't have any faults with her performances or really the book as a whole other than it sort of being a book you can only read once due to how heavy and disturbing it can be and the lack of a big revelation may disappoint some people but it feels true to life. I found myself researching more into the process that Russell wrote this book including responses to the backlash/polarising opinions that have come about due to its publication as well as the additional chapter in the audiobook featuring an interview between Russell and Gummer as well as the book's editor about the book and I found them all really interesting.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Cursing, Gaslighting, Rape, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Sexual violence, Pedophilia, Child abuse, Grief, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Addiction, Medical content, Mental illness, Toxic friendship, Drug use, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Violence, Alcohol, Death, Suicide, Alcoholism, and Stalking
Minor: Animal death, Animal cruelty, and Infertility
bookish_skies's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual harassment, Adult/minor relationship, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Alcoholism, Vomit, Rape, Gaslighting, Medical content, and Sexual violence
_david_'s review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
The book tells its story in such a beautiful way. It's about a adult-minor relationship from the point of view of the minor (now grown up). The characters all feel like real people.
I've never before found such a good story which shows why to the grooming victim, it doesn't seem like an unbalanced relationship any more than if they were both adult. As an adult it is very easy to understand why grooming is disgusting, but this book uses its point of view to show how teenagers may experience it. More importantly, how careful you need to be with talking to a victim.
I really am thankful how the author made the sex scenes feel off, eventhough it wasn't necessary for the story itself. I would feel disgusted if instead I would read about a teenager having sex with an adult and enjoying it fully.
I could talk about this book for days, it's just so good. My only confusion at first was why the narrator didn't realise that the groomer was being manipulative, eventhough flashbacks revealed that she already had doubts in the moments themselves. However, this was explained by two moments. The firstwas when she realised she never put it all in a neat chronological order, but only remembered snippets at a time and even more strong, the moment she voiced the concern which is my favourite quote from the book: "If it isn't a love story, then what is it?"
I've never before found such a good story which shows why to the grooming victim, it doesn't seem like an unbalanced relationship any more than if they were both adult. As an adult it is very easy to understand why grooming is disgusting, but this book uses its point of view to show how teenagers may experience it. More importantly, how careful you need to be with talking to a victim.
I really am thankful how the author made the sex scenes feel off, eventhough it wasn't necessary for the story itself. I would feel disgusted if instead I would read about a teenager having sex with an adult and enjoying it fully.
I could talk about this book for days, it's just so good. My only confusion at first was why the narrator didn't realise that the groomer was being manipulative, eventhough flashbacks revealed that she already had doubts in the moments themselves. However, this was explained by two moments. The first
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, and Animal death
Moderate: Alcohol, Addiction, Toxic relationship, Alcoholism, Vomit, and Pedophilia
Minor: Death of parent, Stalking, Drug use, Grief, Toxic friendship, Gun violence, Kidnapping, Medical content, and Suicidal thoughts
Very graphic descriptions of physical child abuse are mentioned in the last few pages, around p. 351 in the text starting from "Bridget moves back to Rhode Island". You can skip to the next alinea (2 pages further) without missing anything.peachyykenn's review against another edition
dark
emotional
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Emotional abuse, Adult/minor relationship, Suicide, Drug abuse, Mental illness, Addiction, Child abuse, Gaslighting, Alcohol, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Drug use, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual harassment, and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Medical content, Cancer, and Bullying
midnightrain_'s review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.75
it's strange to know that whenever I remember myself at fifteen, I'll think of this
''My dark Vanessa'' is one of the most disturbing, yet important books that were made in this decade. We are invited into the world of 15 year old Vanessa Wye, who is struggling with the burden of being alienated by her friend and away from her family. There are two time lines, early 2000s when Vanessa first meets her teacher, who grooms her and the present when she's in her 30s dealing with the trauma from it. The story doesn't introduce a hero fighting for justice and a happy ending, instead we are met with the harsh reality of an event as traumatic as being abused by a teacher - being in denial. Vanessa doesn't believe she was ever abused, she believes she was in a relationship and is still struggling to move on from it.
This novel is in conversation with Nabokov's Lolita, which I quite enjoyed, especially given that the name of the novel comes from the author's 'Pale Fire'. One thing that's different from Lolita though, is that this is the perspective of the victim. The writing style manages to pull you in, while staying quite simple and accessible.
Some moments that really manage to capture my reading experience:
This novel is in conversation with Nabokov's Lolita, which I quite enjoyed, especially given that the name of the novel comes from the author's 'Pale Fire'. One thing that's different from Lolita though, is that this is the perspective of the victim. The writing style manages to pull you in, while staying quite simple and accessible.
Some moments that really manage to capture my reading experience:
I wonder how much victimhood they'd be willing to grant a girl like me
Vanessa doesn't recognize her own victimhood, because of the way her life went after the incident. She never got the job of her dreams or a successful relationship, instead she spends nights with men she doesn't know, her apartment's always messy and after all these years she still talks to her abuser.
The excuses we make for them are outrageous but they’re nothing compared to the ones we make for ourselves
This is one of those moments where she starts to realise that she was a victim and I think the way the authors describes those subtle moments of suspicion, doubt and realization even in the beginning, pulls you into the complex reality of being abused
When Strane and I met, I was fifteen and he was forty two, a near perfect thirty years between us. That’s how I described the difference back then - perfect
Shows you just how much Vanessa romanticized what was happening to her, how brainwashed and vulnerable she truly was at 15
Because even if I sometimes use the word abuse to describe certain things that were done to me, in someone else’s mouth the word turns ugly and absolute. It swallows up everything that happened
While this quote shows you just how much the victim tries to hold on to the reality of her relationship being an actual relationship, and not a criminal lie, I think there is a more important message at hand. It provokes the discussion of do we let victims tell the stories that are actually theirs, or do we want them to say what we expect to hear. This novel as a whole holds meaning for actually listening to victims, what they went through, yes, but also not trying to chap and change their words, so they fit a narrative.
This isn't a book that you will enjoy, mainly because your jaw might be on the ground for half of it, and if you're sensitive to the topics in it (or have experienced being groomed) then it's definitely not for you. However it is absolutely a book that helps you understand and sympathize with victims, and is an important read for people, who have never went through such trauma. Definitely check the trigger warnings beforehand though!
This isn't a book that you will enjoy, mainly because your jaw might be on the ground for half of it, and if you're sensitive to the topics in it (or have experienced being groomed) then it's definitely not for you. However it is absolutely a book that helps you understand and sympathize with victims, and is an important read for people, who have never went through such trauma. Definitely check the trigger warnings beforehand though!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Emotional abuse, Adult/minor relationship, Gaslighting, Rape, and Sexual content
Moderate: Misogyny, Drug use, Death, and Death of parent
Minor: Alcohol and Medical content
alisonfaith426's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol, Mental illness, Adult/minor relationship, Animal death, Child abuse, Drug use, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Vomit, Dysphoria, Misogyny, Death, Emotional abuse, Sexual harassment, Gaslighting, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, and Suicide
Moderate: Classism, Cursing, Death of parent, Grief, and Medical content
woolfinbooks's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Rape, Sexual assault, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Toxic relationship, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, and Sexism
Moderate: Death of parent, Medical content, Stalking, Car accident, Animal death, and Suicide
Minor: Vomit and Abandonment
There is student/teacher sexual abuse that is challenged in different ways throughout the book. A major part of the plot is seeing the sexual abuse develop, the victim romanticizing what happened, refusing to hold her abuser accountable due to gaslighting, and not wanting to come to turns with what happened.weepingstones's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Pedophilia, Grief, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Rape, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Death, Death of parent, and Suicide
Minor: Medical content and Fire/Fire injury
getlostdave's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pedophilia, Rape, Gaslighting, and Adult/minor relationship
Minor: Medical content
_bailey_reads_'s review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
This book…. Wow. I am stunned by how well written this book is.
There are so many things I could say about this book. I loved it so much. It will always hold a special place in my heart, mostly because it hurt me deeply to my core.
I highly recommend reading this book but only if you are in a good mental health space. It is extremely triggering! I felt very healed by how relatable I found Vanessa at points but mad because of how upset her character made me. She is such a complex and well written character and is such a realistic depiction of someone struggling with PTSD and severe trauma.
Kate Elizabeth Russell, did a phenomenal job at depicting what a real therapist & client relationship actually looks and sounds like. The first accurate one I’ve ever read in a book. It blew me away. Ruby is Vanessa’s therapist. The dynamic between the two characters was brilliant and very thought out and realistic! The language and descriptions in this novel are so beautiful and made me my heart hurt.
It’s the most disturbing book I’ve ever read
Warning ** Do Not Read if you are in a bad mental health space. Please be gentle if you have gone through any type of abuse. I wish someone would’ve warned me before reading. It’s HIGHLY triggering.
There are so many things I could say about this book. I loved it so much. It will always hold a special place in my heart, mostly because it hurt me deeply to my core.
I highly recommend reading this book but only if you are in a good mental health space. It is extremely triggering! I felt very healed by how relatable I found Vanessa at points but mad because of how upset her character made me. She is such a complex and well written character and is such a realistic depiction of someone struggling with PTSD and severe trauma.
Kate Elizabeth Russell, did a phenomenal job at depicting what a real therapist & client relationship actually looks and sounds like. The first accurate one I’ve ever read in a book. It blew me away. Ruby is Vanessa’s therapist. The dynamic between the two characters was brilliant and very thought out and realistic! The language and descriptions in this novel are so beautiful and made me my heart hurt.
It’s the most disturbing book I’ve ever read
Warning ** Do Not Read if you are in a bad mental health space. Please be gentle if you have gone through any type of abuse. I wish someone would’ve warned me before reading. It’s HIGHLY triggering.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicide, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Alcohol, Animal death, Bullying, Cursing, Death, Drug use, Drug abuse, Grief, Infidelity, Medical content, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Stalking, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic friendship, and Vomit