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3.84 AVERAGE
3.84 AVERAGE
This book made me feel very confident about trusting my own instincts and going with the natural flow of parenting. Being a nature enthusiast, I'd love to try a lot of the techniques that are covered in the book, as they really resonated with me. A very honest, well explored look into parenting issues in the modern westernised world. Would happily recommend.
Hmm. This book is hideously unscientific. Most of its claims are complete conjecture, based on the author's interpretation of her time with the Yequana people of Venezuela, and some of them are real doozies.
That said, I'd still recommend it to anyone with even a passing interest in psychology, sociology, parenting, or oh, I don't know, the attainment of happiness. She makes a very compelling case that our societal "wisdom" about how children should be dealt with from infancy is completely skewed, runs counter to our actual instincts, and leads to a state where "happiness ceases to be a normal condition of being alive, and becomes a goal." She claims that this deviation from the natural processes of our species (the "Continuum"), beginning with our failure to keep our newborns constantly "in arms", not as the center of attention, but as an observer learning how the life of adults works, drives us ever further from it, and perpetuates our constant drives to fill the holes in ourselves with money, power, love, drugs, etc. Or, as in this comic, sand: http://dresdencodak.com/images/stall10.jpg .
I think she's spot on, and my entire view of modern society has been forever altered.
TL;DR: Most of this book is silliness. But the main point - we raise our kids wrong, and it makes us an unhappy striving society, is incredibly powerful. So read it anyway.
That said, I'd still recommend it to anyone with even a passing interest in psychology, sociology, parenting, or oh, I don't know, the attainment of happiness. She makes a very compelling case that our societal "wisdom" about how children should be dealt with from infancy is completely skewed, runs counter to our actual instincts, and leads to a state where "happiness ceases to be a normal condition of being alive, and becomes a goal." She claims that this deviation from the natural processes of our species (the "Continuum"), beginning with our failure to keep our newborns constantly "in arms", not as the center of attention, but as an observer learning how the life of adults works, drives us ever further from it, and perpetuates our constant drives to fill the holes in ourselves with money, power, love, drugs, etc. Or, as in this comic, sand: http://dresdencodak.com/images/stall10.jpg .
I think she's spot on, and my entire view of modern society has been forever altered.
TL;DR: Most of this book is silliness. But the main point - we raise our kids wrong, and it makes us an unhappy striving society, is incredibly powerful. So read it anyway.
Měla jsem obrovská očekávání. Jak by ne, kniha je zmiňovaná snad všude, kde člověk zavadí o kontaktní rodičovství nebo respektující výchovu.
Jestli dobře chápu hlavní tezi, tak jde o to, že naše mláďata něco po narození očekávají – to, co je pro ně přirozeným pokračování kontinua naší existence jako druhu. (Se správným použitím pojmu kontinuum mám v češtině trochu problém.) Primárně by to měl být nepřetržitý pobyt u matky v náručí (doslova nepřetržitý) po prvních několik měsíců, ale uvedeny jsou také další aspekty péče o dítě. Když je kontinuum porušeno a malému člověku se nedostane dostatku pobytu v náručí, je to pro něj po zbytek života traumatizující a vede to k různě patologickému chování, které je konkrétně popisováno na úrovni jednotlivce i společnosti.
Naopak při neporušení kontinua jsme šťastní – tak jako Yequana, kmen, který autorka pozorovala a na jejichž společnosti a jejím pozorování zakládá veškeré své domněnky (doslova veškeré).
Uvědomuji si, kdy ta kniha vyšla a nepopírám, že je přelomová. Hodně pasáží mám poznačených – protože v konceptu kontinua mají fenomény jasné vysvětlení a tím pádem i poměrně jasná řešení, je styl psaní velmi přesvědčivý a zní to zkrátka dobře.
Místy to na mě bylo už trochu moc – například masturbace vysvětlená jako důsledek nahromaděné energie, která se nemohla uvolnit skrze energetické pole matky, jelikož dítě nebylo dostatečně drženo. Nebo samotný fakt, že je tímto nedostatečným držením vysvětlováno Všechno. Možná si ale jen odmítám připustit, že tím, že svou holčičku nedržím 24/7, jsem ji už nevratně poznamenala.
Jestli dobře chápu hlavní tezi, tak jde o to, že naše mláďata něco po narození očekávají – to, co je pro ně přirozeným pokračování kontinua naší existence jako druhu. (Se správným použitím pojmu kontinuum mám v češtině trochu problém.) Primárně by to měl být nepřetržitý pobyt u matky v náručí (doslova nepřetržitý) po prvních několik měsíců, ale uvedeny jsou také další aspekty péče o dítě. Když je kontinuum porušeno a malému člověku se nedostane dostatku pobytu v náručí, je to pro něj po zbytek života traumatizující a vede to k různě patologickému chování, které je konkrétně popisováno na úrovni jednotlivce i společnosti.
Naopak při neporušení kontinua jsme šťastní – tak jako Yequana, kmen, který autorka pozorovala a na jejichž společnosti a jejím pozorování zakládá veškeré své domněnky (doslova veškeré).
Uvědomuji si, kdy ta kniha vyšla a nepopírám, že je přelomová. Hodně pasáží mám poznačených – protože v konceptu kontinua mají fenomény jasné vysvětlení a tím pádem i poměrně jasná řešení, je styl psaní velmi přesvědčivý a zní to zkrátka dobře.
Místy to na mě bylo už trochu moc – například masturbace vysvětlená jako důsledek nahromaděné energie, která se nemohla uvolnit skrze energetické pole matky, jelikož dítě nebylo dostatečně drženo. Nebo samotný fakt, že je tímto nedostatečným držením vysvětlováno Všechno. Možná si ale jen odmítám připustit, že tím, že svou holčičku nedržím 24/7, jsem ji už nevratně poznamenala.
Blah. Journalists masquerading as anthropologists get my goat. I agree with some of her conclusions about the need for infants to be near their parents through babywearing and holding and about maternal instinct. However, her "research" methods are shoddy at best and she is far too excited about her ideas to be anywhere near objective about them. Its not particularly well written, either.
I really enjoyed this book, for the first half. It was interesting to read about the observations between western culture and the indian tribe's culture, but here it ends... She starts talking about homosexuality as being a reaction to a cruel father or a mincing mother... WTH. That small niggling in the back of my mind that had been whispering throughout the book came out screaming during that passage (yes pun intended), WHAT ARE YOUR CREDENTIALS TO BACK THIS UP?
Just because much of the book cooperates with my child rearing belief, doesn't mean that it's good.
She assumes a lot of things without, seemingly, any other basis than her observations... and while I agree with a lot of the thing she writes...I cannot in any way recommend anyone read it after this passage on homosexuality. It's just dumb. You can't make a homosexual, there are plenty of men and women with similar upbringings who aren't homosexuals... It's just assuming to much...
I would always recommend Our babies ourselves over this book, it has a more scientific approach and the research is based on far more societies than The continuum concept which is based on two. Assumptions should not be promoted as facts...
Just because much of the book cooperates with my child rearing belief, doesn't mean that it's good.
She assumes a lot of things without, seemingly, any other basis than her observations... and while I agree with a lot of the thing she writes...I cannot in any way recommend anyone read it after this passage on homosexuality. It's just dumb. You can't make a homosexual, there are plenty of men and women with similar upbringings who aren't homosexuals... It's just assuming to much...
I would always recommend Our babies ourselves over this book, it has a more scientific approach and the research is based on far more societies than The continuum concept which is based on two. Assumptions should not be promoted as facts...
Yes, some of Liedoff's specific assertions are a bit goofy, but nevertheless, the fundamental insight of the book is sound: human beings are born with a certain set of "expectations," the result of our evolutionary history, and will thrive best when those expectations are met. Unfortunately, contemporary American society is not well designed to make meeting those expectations an easy thing; babies and also their mothers suffer as a result.
I enjoyed this book because I like the anthropological aspect. It's a difficult read at first, but I did get into it. I'd definitely recommend it to other parents.
challenging
informative
inspiring
slow-paced
3.5 stars. This is a very well written book with creative prose and insightful soundbites. While some of her observations and assumptions reach too far, they are directionally helpful in thinking about how we treat young people and how we organize within in society. The most problematic portion of the book is the second half of chapter five where she makes claims that may have seemed common sense to many in the 70s but that have since been roundly refuted by our evolving understanding of biology, psychology, and sociology -- particularly with respect to addiction, homosexuality, and criminality. That section would normally earn the book a lower rating, but I reservedly give it four stars because of a strong final chapter.
I've read this several times, and highly recommend it to anyone who has children, or think they might want children one day. Would also be of interest to those in anthropology or who like to read about primitive cultures. Glad I read it when my children were small, as it gelled some concepts about parenting that were forming for me. Did I raise my children exactly as the Yequenna did? No. I live in a different time and culture. But some basic ideas and concepts were definitely part of my parenting. But I've learned over the years that I'm not going to follow much stuff to the letter. I am a big believer in "take what works and leave the rest."
After reading some reviews below, I see some notes regarding the author's views on certain non-continuum parenting styles leading to homosexuality and other things. I honestly cannot recall that from the book, and I would disagree with Liedloff on certain points such as this. But like I said above, buying things part and parcel is not what I generally do...
After reading some reviews below, I see some notes regarding the author's views on certain non-continuum parenting styles leading to homosexuality and other things. I honestly cannot recall that from the book, and I would disagree with Liedloff on certain points such as this. But like I said above, buying things part and parcel is not what I generally do...