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3.84 AVERAGE
3.84 AVERAGE
When keeping in mind that the author is neither a parent or an anthropologist, this book gives an incredibly different, and much needed point of view on baby-rearing. A must-read by any parent, whether you agree 100% or not, everyone with an intent to raise a child should give this book a read in order to see another perspective. The insights in this book are invaluable when forging your own parental style, one that frees the mother to pursue her own needs while at the same time giving the baby what he needs as well. A huge a-ha! moment for me, unfortunately not until my fourth (and final) baby was over a year old.
미국에 사는 친구에게 출산선물을 보내려고 했을 때 안그래도 쇼핑싫어하는 나는 고민에 빠졌다.
안그래도 미국에서 애엄마들이 다들 너나나나 직구하고 구매대행하고 비싼 수입관세 신경안쓰고 사들이는 판에
내가 미국에 뭘 보내리..하다가 요즘 attachment parenting이 유행한다고 해서 얼씨구나 하고 포대기를 보냈다.
근데 과연 내가 attachment parenting에 대해 얼마나 알고 있을까
물론 나는 전형적인 동양 엄마처럼 (물론 요즘은 좀 서양 육아방식을 많이 따라하려는 추세도 있지만)
co-sleeping에 포대기 처네 아기띠 등으로 수시로 업고 다녔다..
하지만 정말 그게 좋은지 아님 그냥 동양적인 것을 따라하려는 유행인지 확신이 안 섰다.
이 두 책을 보고 그 의심은 다소 잠재웠지만 여전히 다른 문제들로 찜찜한 기분이 남아있다.
Continuum concept는 남미의 인디언들과 지내며 그들의 육아 및 전체적 삶의 방식이
우리 인류가 생긴 환경과 이에 따라 빚어진 본능과 얼마나 continuous한 흐름을 이루고
대조적으로 현대화된 문명과 얼마나 다른지 그리고 그것이 아기 뿐만 아니라 나아가서 어른들 그리고 사회 전체적으로 어떤 영향을 미치는지 심리학적 및 사회학적 입장에서 바라본다. 워낙 70년대 책이어서 조금 부족하고 outdated된 부분도 없지 않고 또한 작가의 좀 산만하고 뜬구름 잡는 듯한 문체가 신경에 거슬렸지만 특히 뒤쪽으로 가서는 어느정도 읽을 가치가 있는 듯하다.
Our Babies Ourselves는 현대사회의 소아과학 및 양육방식이 단지 '치료'를 제시하는데 그치지 않고
부모와 그 사회의 ethno (culture) 문화가 아이들의 양육방식 그리고 나아가서 아이들의 well-being에 어떤 영향을 미치는지 pediatrics (소아과학) 연구한 ethnopediatrics를 다루는데 앞의 continuum concept보다 더 실질적인 단서를 더 구체적이고 체계적으로 정리했으며 Continuum concept보다 실질적이고 좀더 확장된 사회 전체의 approach를 촉구한다.
하지만 attachment parenting이 좋은 건 알지만.. 갈수록 산업화되고 핵가족화 및 단절되가는 우리 사회 속에서 첫 1년동안 아기와 딱 붙어서 2년동안 모유수유하고 직장에 아기를 데려갈 수 있거나 직장을 쉬거나 그만둘 수 있는 엄마들이 얼마나 있을까? 그리고 그 아기의 단계를 지나서도 교육이나 사회 자체가 경쟁과 소통단절 개인주의 도시의 isolation등 우리가 evolve했던 사회와는 갈수록 멀어져가는 와중에 나의 아기를 품속에 꼭 껴안고 있으면서도 미래에 대한 불안을 완전히 진정시키기는 힘든 것 같다.
친정엄마가 항상 말하듯이 '넌 아는 게 병이야'..^^;;;;라고..
Yowza. I started this book a few months ago, then picked it up again last weekend. What timing! I just read Weissbluth's HSHHC, and my husband and I are in the midst of transitioning our infant daughter to sleep in her crib.
So with that in mind ... this book made me cry. Liedloff's chapter on The Beginning of Life -- the first experiences and feelings that a baby has when she's not in her mother's arms -- my gawd, how excruciatingly painful was that? I understand that she wants to make a point, and some of those feelings might be right on. But Liedloff doesn't know that (no one can), and anyone coming to her book after a few months or even weeks of mothering is in for a soul-wrenching read.
I am a babywearer, and my daughter spent her first four months in my bed and in-arms. Then I had to go back to work, and my husband and I, along with our pediatrician, believed that we would all sleep better -- with our primary care and concern being our baby girl -- if she left the family bed. I cannot believe that, because of this decision, my baby will not grow into a happy, secure child or adult.
There's a lot of interesting material on the social tendencies of humans, and I appreciate the alternative view of child-rearing in the Yequana culture. I agree that we need to trust our parental instincts more and occasionally tell the experts and pediatricians to bug off. But each child, each family is unique, and no mother should feel damned for making choices that work best for her family. So take Liedloff with a giant grain of salt. I'm just sayin.
So with that in mind ... this book made me cry. Liedloff's chapter on The Beginning of Life -- the first experiences and feelings that a baby has when she's not in her mother's arms -- my gawd, how excruciatingly painful was that? I understand that she wants to make a point, and some of those feelings might be right on. But Liedloff doesn't know that (no one can), and anyone coming to her book after a few months or even weeks of mothering is in for a soul-wrenching read.
I am a babywearer, and my daughter spent her first four months in my bed and in-arms. Then I had to go back to work, and my husband and I, along with our pediatrician, believed that we would all sleep better -- with our primary care and concern being our baby girl -- if she left the family bed. I cannot believe that, because of this decision, my baby will not grow into a happy, secure child or adult.
There's a lot of interesting material on the social tendencies of humans, and I appreciate the alternative view of child-rearing in the Yequana culture. I agree that we need to trust our parental instincts more and occasionally tell the experts and pediatricians to bug off. But each child, each family is unique, and no mother should feel damned for making choices that work best for her family. So take Liedloff with a giant grain of salt. I'm just sayin.
Read this in the mid-90's so it's not fresh... While I reject the modernists' exaltation of the primitive ("noble savage", etc.), there was plenty in Liedloff's research (regarding mother-baby relations in a primitive tribe) and ideas to appreciate.
Several thought-provoking and useful (hopefully) ideas, but the combination of the dense, convoluted writing style with some seriously disturbing theories detracted from the overall experience. I was also doubtful about the lack of research backing up some of the theories - you can't study ONE culture and make assumptions about all of human nature from that. Next, I'm picking up Our Babies, Ourselves on the recommendation of several other reviewers - even the introduction is a breath of fresh air!
Amazing book. Reccomend to all parents and everyone planning to have children. Also really great if your interested in psychology and human nature. Absoluetly loved it, very powerful.
This book was a slog for me. While I agree with most of the principles espoused in the book, it wasn't easy to get through her writing.
It also doesn't have a lot of solutions for how to integrate these practices into modern life. I'd be interested in an updated version to see what she thinks now.
There's also a definite '80s feel with the tone, and my jaw dropped at the hypothesis of the "cause" of homosexuality. If I could redact a few lines I might give the book 4 stars instead.
That said, it does make me wonder if second children tend to be "easier" for most parents because they do make choices that aren't as baby-centered since they already have an older child.
It also doesn't have a lot of solutions for how to integrate these practices into modern life. I'd be interested in an updated version to see what she thinks now.
There's also a definite '80s feel with the tone, and my jaw dropped at the hypothesis of the "cause" of homosexuality. If I could redact a few lines I might give the book 4 stars instead.
That said, it does make me wonder if second children tend to be "easier" for most parents because they do make choices that aren't as baby-centered since they already have an older child.
Even though I can't fact check this book and sometimes Liedloff's theories and examples sound a bit cray-cray to me, I really enjoyed reading it. It gave me perspective and peace. Made me believe, that both babies and parents are good and want what's best for each other. It also made me think about hows and what-ifs of my motherhood.
I think it's worth reading for freshly made moms and dads or moms and dads to be.
I think it's worth reading for freshly made moms and dads or moms and dads to be.
I pushed through because I do agree with the idea of attachment parenting to a great extent
but 1) I can't overlook the homophobia (chapter 5)
2) it's a very subjective and singular view of the way different societies raise their children with little to no science to back any of it up
3) the gender roles present and preached in this book just aren't compatible with the 21st century and the emancipation of women
but 1) I can't overlook the homophobia (chapter 5)
2) it's a very subjective and singular view of the way different societies raise their children with little to no science to back any of it up
3) the gender roles present and preached in this book just aren't compatible with the 21st century and the emancipation of women