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4.05 AVERAGE
4.05 AVERAGE
As an ambivert who has lately lost touch with my introvert side, this book was just what I needed to read
This book is full of information. It covers the societal transition to the modern "extrovert ideal" our schools and workplaces seem geared to now. It dives into neuroscience, correlating something called "high reactivity" and something else called "sensitivity" to introversion. It spends a lot of time examining the mechanics of what it is to be an introvert in today's social climate.
This is all interesting in a "huh I never knew that" documentary sort of way. A decent amount of it will probably resonate with introverts, especially the parts talking about group dynamics and the efficacy of working alone. Introverts in general, especially the ones who read books about themselves, seem to have a tendency toward the defensive self-righteousness of a bitter minority; there's an amount of that here, but not all that much honestly, which is nice.
My hope for this book was that it would show me ways to maximize my strengths and minimize my weaknesses. The tagline is "the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking" right? I was eager to discover what powers I should be taking advantage of and what strategies I should employ. Unfortunately, there wasn't a whole lot of that type of practical, applied content here. There was a chapter on how to nurture introverted children, and a chapter on faking extroversion (not even really how to, more like "you have to do it, but don't do it TOO much") and that was about the limit.
The chapters examining the ups and downs of trying to function as an introvert in modern society, when loudness is seen as leadership and almost all work is group work, were certainly interesting to read. Like the fact that extroverts are better leaders with passive underlings, whereas introverts make better leaders of groups made up of self-directed, initiative-taking types -- I never knew that before, but it makes sense. Fundamentally, though, I know what it is to be an introvert. It's always nice to get some vindication and fuel for my defensive self-righteousness and all, but a whole book of that seems somewhat extraneous.
I also wasn't terribly impressed with the large amount of time this book spent on high-reactiveness and "sensitivity." The neuroscience of this is fascinating enough, but I wasn't convinced that introvertedness and high-reactiveness were more than somewhat correlated. Certainly they seem related, but focusing so much on both of these things seemed to narrow the scope of the book to only looking at one subset of introverts. I wish this section had been either an aside, much smaller than it was, or that it could have been an entire book of its own; you would have needed almost that much time and effort to examine the actual relationship between being an introvert and being high-reactive.
This is all interesting in a "huh I never knew that" documentary sort of way. A decent amount of it will probably resonate with introverts, especially the parts talking about group dynamics and the efficacy of working alone. Introverts in general, especially the ones who read books about themselves, seem to have a tendency toward the defensive self-righteousness of a bitter minority; there's an amount of that here, but not all that much honestly, which is nice.
My hope for this book was that it would show me ways to maximize my strengths and minimize my weaknesses. The tagline is "the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking" right? I was eager to discover what powers I should be taking advantage of and what strategies I should employ. Unfortunately, there wasn't a whole lot of that type of practical, applied content here. There was a chapter on how to nurture introverted children, and a chapter on faking extroversion (not even really how to, more like "you have to do it, but don't do it TOO much") and that was about the limit.
The chapters examining the ups and downs of trying to function as an introvert in modern society, when loudness is seen as leadership and almost all work is group work, were certainly interesting to read. Like the fact that extroverts are better leaders with passive underlings, whereas introverts make better leaders of groups made up of self-directed, initiative-taking types -- I never knew that before, but it makes sense. Fundamentally, though, I know what it is to be an introvert. It's always nice to get some vindication and fuel for my defensive self-righteousness and all, but a whole book of that seems somewhat extraneous.
I also wasn't terribly impressed with the large amount of time this book spent on high-reactiveness and "sensitivity." The neuroscience of this is fascinating enough, but I wasn't convinced that introvertedness and high-reactiveness were more than somewhat correlated. Certainly they seem related, but focusing so much on both of these things seemed to narrow the scope of the book to only looking at one subset of introverts. I wish this section had been either an aside, much smaller than it was, or that it could have been an entire book of its own; you would have needed almost that much time and effort to examine the actual relationship between being an introvert and being high-reactive.
I’m an ambivert and tend to judge my introverted side. This book is so validating and brought me so much peace.
This is an interesting book that I wish everyone would read. It's important to recognize just how far the Western world has gone to exalt extroverts and treat introverts as if there is something wrong with them. Every report card our kids get has some version of the phrase 'Wish he would speak up more in class' over and over from each teacher, showing how introverts are actively discriminated against in school. There IS a problem with this, because there is nothing at all wrong with introverts, and revering extroverts too much leads to trouble, like the huge recession of 2008 that was a direct consequence of banks and financial companies ignoring their introverts and listening only to their extroverts.
Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. 30 -- this is me.
Introverted leaders do better with initiative taking / proactive teams. "Because of their inclination to listen to others and lack of interest in dominating social situations, introverts are more likely to hear and implement suggestions. Having benefited from the talents of their followers, they are then likely to motivate them to be even more proactive. Introverted leaders create a virtuous circle of proactivity, in other words." 73
"No!" Kagan exclaims. "Every behavior has more than one cause. Don't ever forget that! For every child who's slow to warm up, yes, there will be statistically more high-reactives, but you can be slow to warm up because of how you spent the first three and a half years of your life! When writers and journalists talk, they want to see a one-to-one relationship -- one behavior, one cause. But it's really important that you see, for behaviors like slow-to-warm up, shyness, impulsivity, there are many routes to that."
He reels off examples of environmental factors that could produce an introverted personality independently of, or in concert with a reactive nervous system: A child might enjoy having new ideas about the world, say, so she spends a lot of time inside her head. Or health problems might direct a child inward, to what's going on inside his body. -- Chapter 4 (reading on my phone)
Over-arousal doesn't produce anxiety so much as the sense that you can't think straight -- that you've had enough and would like to go home now. Under-arousal is something like cabin fever. Not enough is happening: you feel itchy, restless, and sluggish, like you need to get out of the house already..
Whatever the underlying cause, there's a host of evidence that introverts are more sensitive than extroverts to stimulation, from coffee to a loud bang to the dull roar of a networking event -- and that introverts and extroverts often need very different levels of stimulation to function at their best. -- chapter 5 (reading on phone)
In other words, introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly. free Trait Theory explains why an introvert might thrown his extroverted wife a surprise party or join the PTA at his daughter's school. 209
Introverted leaders do better with initiative taking / proactive teams. "Because of their inclination to listen to others and lack of interest in dominating social situations, introverts are more likely to hear and implement suggestions. Having benefited from the talents of their followers, they are then likely to motivate them to be even more proactive. Introverted leaders create a virtuous circle of proactivity, in other words." 73
"No!" Kagan exclaims. "Every behavior has more than one cause. Don't ever forget that! For every child who's slow to warm up, yes, there will be statistically more high-reactives, but you can be slow to warm up because of how you spent the first three and a half years of your life! When writers and journalists talk, they want to see a one-to-one relationship -- one behavior, one cause. But it's really important that you see, for behaviors like slow-to-warm up, shyness, impulsivity, there are many routes to that."
He reels off examples of environmental factors that could produce an introverted personality independently of, or in concert with a reactive nervous system: A child might enjoy having new ideas about the world, say, so she spends a lot of time inside her head. Or health problems might direct a child inward, to what's going on inside his body. -- Chapter 4 (reading on my phone)
Over-arousal doesn't produce anxiety so much as the sense that you can't think straight -- that you've had enough and would like to go home now. Under-arousal is something like cabin fever. Not enough is happening: you feel itchy, restless, and sluggish, like you need to get out of the house already..
Whatever the underlying cause, there's a host of evidence that introverts are more sensitive than extroverts to stimulation, from coffee to a loud bang to the dull roar of a networking event -- and that introverts and extroverts often need very different levels of stimulation to function at their best. -- chapter 5 (reading on phone)
In other words, introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly. free Trait Theory explains why an introvert might thrown his extroverted wife a surprise party or join the PTA at his daughter's school. 209
This is a perfect book for a 12 year old + introverted teenager who needs to understand themselves and introversion better, so they can begin to accept and use it to their advantage. I would have GREATLY benefited from reading this in my early teens as it may have made school easier to bear. Unfortunately, as a fairly self-aware 34 year old I learned little to nothing from this book. I was hoping for more science and a study of introversion, rather than a huge number of high school anecdotes which illustrate how introversion can be used as a valuable tool instead of being seen as a burden or disadvantage. Maybe I’m fortunate to have learned this myself through life experience.
I’m giving this book three stars as I love the message and the promotion of introversion. I would also not hesitate to buy it for a younger introverted niece/nephew or family member. But I feel I was not the target audience (maybe because I’m already very conscious of my introversion). I think the teenage/high school focus of the book should be more clearly explained in the synopsis.
I’m giving this book three stars as I love the message and the promotion of introversion. I would also not hesitate to buy it for a younger introverted niece/nephew or family member. But I feel I was not the target audience (maybe because I’m already very conscious of my introversion). I think the teenage/high school focus of the book should be more clearly explained in the synopsis.
As an introvert, I found myself nodding and agreeing with much of the book. The premise of the book is that in society extroversion is preferred over introversion, in work, in school, in families, in relationships, and so on. Susan Cain shows us that shouldn’t always be true. Introverts make up about 1/3 to 1/2 of the population. Introverts are necessary in society. In fact, in many situations introverts make better leaders, partners, friends, co-workers, etc.
She shows us what traits introverts have and how those traits can be used as power to help you excel in most situations in life. She provides research studies as well as real life examples. She shows us how introverts can do their best in the workplace, in school, in relationships. As well she has great points for bosses on how to get the most out their introverted workers. As well, there are chapters that show parents things they can do if they have introverted children and also a chapter for teachers of introverted children. Basically the new “groupthink” method of teaching isn’t the best for introverts as well as the new open office space plan isn’t the best for introverts either. There are sections on helping introverts become better public speakers as they often have a fear of public speaking yet sometimes will have to do it.
I saw there is a young adult version that is geared towards teenagers and while I haven’t read it I bet if it had been available when I was a teen it would have done wonders for me. Kids who are labeled shy tend to think it is a bad trait to have and it often gets worse rather than better if this line of thinking is reinforced over and over. Teachers writing in report cards, she is very smart but hardly talks in class, etc. Parents as well may say my child is too shy in a negative way and that makes the child think there is something wrong with them. Parents should follow their child’s lead and give them the quiet time they need, allow them to skip play dates or leave early from parties if they are overstimulated, let them follow their passions even if it is something solo like reading or drawing and not a group activity.
I think introverts will enjoy this book because they will see themselves in it as well see what most introverts hopefully know, that they do have a lot to give if people would just give them the chance. I also think extroverts should read the book so they can get a better understanding of how introverts think and maybe give them ideas for better working amd personal relationships with introverts in their lives.
She shows us what traits introverts have and how those traits can be used as power to help you excel in most situations in life. She provides research studies as well as real life examples. She shows us how introverts can do their best in the workplace, in school, in relationships. As well she has great points for bosses on how to get the most out their introverted workers. As well, there are chapters that show parents things they can do if they have introverted children and also a chapter for teachers of introverted children. Basically the new “groupthink” method of teaching isn’t the best for introverts as well as the new open office space plan isn’t the best for introverts either. There are sections on helping introverts become better public speakers as they often have a fear of public speaking yet sometimes will have to do it.
I saw there is a young adult version that is geared towards teenagers and while I haven’t read it I bet if it had been available when I was a teen it would have done wonders for me. Kids who are labeled shy tend to think it is a bad trait to have and it often gets worse rather than better if this line of thinking is reinforced over and over. Teachers writing in report cards, she is very smart but hardly talks in class, etc. Parents as well may say my child is too shy in a negative way and that makes the child think there is something wrong with them. Parents should follow their child’s lead and give them the quiet time they need, allow them to skip play dates or leave early from parties if they are overstimulated, let them follow their passions even if it is something solo like reading or drawing and not a group activity.
I think introverts will enjoy this book because they will see themselves in it as well see what most introverts hopefully know, that they do have a lot to give if people would just give them the chance. I also think extroverts should read the book so they can get a better understanding of how introverts think and maybe give them ideas for better working amd personal relationships with introverts in their lives.
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
An essential read for everyone, introverts and extroverts alike. As an introverted person I learned so much about both introverts and extroverts. I feel validated in how I've felt my entire life, context of relationships and experiences, personal and professional, feel more clear, and I walked away with some tangible action items to apply everyday. I laughed out loud at her description of a public speaking experience in Chapter 4. Nonfiction is difficult for me but I looked forward to reading this every time I picked it up, it was easy to read even with all of the studies and data and I appreciated the extensive amount of research.
"Love is essential; gregariousness is optional."
"Solve problems, make art, think deeply."
Loved it!!!! It was interesting and informative. Would suggest it to anyone who knows or lives with an introvert.