Reviews tagging 'Death of parent'

Meine dunkle Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell, Ulrike Thiesmeyer

367 reviews

reechiebun's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Suicide, and Gaslighting

Moderate: Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, and Sexual content

Minor: Death of parent

as a clear response to lolita this book deals with complicated, layered issues that involve the main character's mental health and her being abused since she's 15 by a trusted teacher. some of the depicted sex scenes are midly graphic and/or statutory rape. there's an instance of a moderately graphic explicit rape scene.

kendradodd's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

i have no words. i’m beyond being able to formulate them. i know this review won’t even begin to cover how i feel, but i’ll do my best. this book sunk its hooks somewhere deep in my chest and i don’t foresee a swift removal. i don’t think it’s even accurate to say i loved this book, because so much of it was deeply upsetting. it was just profoundly moving and thought provoking. it was beautiful and gruesome and horrifying and hopeful and any other number of paradoxical adjectives. i saw so much of myself in vanessa, right down to the long red hair, and that’s what partially what made this story so heart-wrenching: knowing that it just as easily could have happened to me. or my friends. or anyone. one of the easiest 5 stars i’ve ever given.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Pedophilia, and Sexual assault

Minor: Suicide and Death of parent

ally_alert's review against another edition

challenging dark sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Sexual assault, and Sexual harassment

Moderate: Alcohol

Minor: Death of parent

weirdgirlcoded's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

this book rocked me to my core — moved me in a way that i haven’t felt in a long time. i poured over it for days, and wept, and felt vanessa’s rollercoaster of emotions with her.  i am forever changed from this. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment

Moderate: Addiction and Alcoholism

Minor: Animal death and Death of parent

midnightrain_'s review against another edition

dark emotional informative reflective sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? N/A
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.75

it's strange to know that whenever I remember myself at fifteen, I'll think of this

''My dark Vanessa'' is one of the most disturbing, yet important books that were made in this decade. We are invited into the world of 15 year old Vanessa Wye, who is struggling with the burden of being alienated by her friend and away from her family. There are two time lines, early 2000s when Vanessa first meets her teacher, who grooms her and the present when she's in her 30s dealing with the trauma from it. The story doesn't introduce a hero fighting for justice and a happy ending, instead we are met with the harsh reality of an event as traumatic as being abused by a teacher - being in denial. Vanessa doesn't believe she was ever abused, she believes she was in a relationship and is still struggling to move on from it. 
This novel is in conversation with Nabokov's Lolita, which I quite enjoyed, especially given that the name of the novel comes from the author's 'Pale Fire'. One thing that's different from Lolita though, is that this is the perspective of the victim. The writing style manages to pull you in, while staying quite simple and accessible.

Some moments that really manage to capture my reading experience:

I wonder how much victimhood they'd be willing to grant a girl like me

Vanessa doesn't recognize her own victimhood, because of the way her life went after the incident. She never got the job of her dreams or a successful relationship, instead she spends nights with men she doesn't know, her apartment's always messy and after all these years she still talks to her abuser.

The excuses we make for them are outrageous but they’re nothing compared to the ones we make for ourselves

This is one of those moments where she starts to realise that she was a victim and I think the way the authors describes those subtle moments of suspicion, doubt and realization even in the beginning, pulls you into the complex reality of being abused

When Strane and I met, I was fifteen and he was forty two, a near perfect thirty years between us. That’s how I described the difference back then - perfect

Shows you just how much Vanessa romanticized what was happening to her, how brainwashed and vulnerable she truly was at 15

Because even if I sometimes use the word abuse to describe certain things that were done to me, in someone else’s mouth the word turns ugly and absolute. It swallows up everything that happened

While this quote shows you just how much the victim tries to hold on to the reality of her relationship being an actual relationship, and not a criminal lie, I think there is a more important message at hand. It provokes the discussion of do we let victims tell the stories that are actually theirs, or do we want them to say what we expect to hear. This novel as a whole holds meaning for actually listening to victims, what they went through, yes, but also not trying to chap and change their words, so they fit a narrative.

This isn't a book that you will enjoy, mainly because your jaw might be on the ground for half of it, and if you're sensitive to the topics in it (or have experienced being groomed) then it's definitely not for you. However it is absolutely a book that helps you understand and sympathize with victims, and is an important read for people, who have never went through such trauma. Definitely check the trigger warnings beforehand though!

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, and Gaslighting

Moderate: Death, Drug use, Misogyny, and Death of parent

Minor: Medical content and Alcohol

michelleka's review against another edition

dark tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Sexual assault, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Alcohol

Minor: Death of parent

clo_l's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? N/A
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

This was a really great book. It filled me with so many emotions from the very first page. It felt so incredibly real & I guess, in a way, it was.
Dark, beautiful, captivating, nauseating, intense. 
Amazing. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Drug abuse, and Alcohol

Moderate: Cursing, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Death of parent, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment

Minor: Animal death, Eating disorder, Excrement, Vomit, Fire/Fire injury, and Injury/Injury detail

gvstyris's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Grief, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment

Moderate: Death of parent

Minor: Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Vomit

kooky_kayla's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, and Gaslighting

Moderate: Misogyny, Suicidal thoughts, Vomit, and Alcohol

Minor: Blood and Death of parent

jennameyers's review against another edition

dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

It is incredible how the author puts you in the mind of Vanessa. You really feel her feelings and her perspective. A devastating but  incredibly written novel. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism, Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicide, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Alcohol, and Sexual harassment