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readsewknit's review against another edition
5.0
I was born between Generation X and Millennials, so I identify with aspects of both generations. I turn 40 this year and find myself reflecting on choices throughout my life, even experiencing bursts of what could be called midlife crises.
Why We Can't Sleep: Women's New Midlife Crisis was a timely read for me. Ada Calhoun frames the book in distinctive chapters, touching on how various areas of life contribute to how we may be feeling about this stage of life, including marriage (and singleness), divorce, perimenopause, caregiving, and careers.
One may feel that, if you're in this uncertain, uneasy time of life, a book articulating all these issues might be a tough read and one to be avoided if you're in this season. However, I found it affirming. It acknowledges that there are legitimate reasons life can feel tough right now, that the mental loads women carry, in addition to caregiving and money decisions and changes in health all are valid reasons that help explain the stress we find ourselves experiencing. I catch myself recalling her insights and recommending it to friends.
(I received a digital ARC from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.)
Why We Can't Sleep: Women's New Midlife Crisis was a timely read for me. Ada Calhoun frames the book in distinctive chapters, touching on how various areas of life contribute to how we may be feeling about this stage of life, including marriage (and singleness), divorce, perimenopause, caregiving, and careers.
One may feel that, if you're in this uncertain, uneasy time of life, a book articulating all these issues might be a tough read and one to be avoided if you're in this season. However, I found it affirming. It acknowledges that there are legitimate reasons life can feel tough right now, that the mental loads women carry, in addition to caregiving and money decisions and changes in health all are valid reasons that help explain the stress we find ourselves experiencing. I catch myself recalling her insights and recommending it to friends.
(I received a digital ARC from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.)
tmleblanc's review against another edition
While there are no real solutions or help laid out in this book for Gen X women, I did enjoy it because it was a clear sign that I'm not alone in this crazy world when it comes to worrying about all the things and there's nothing anyone can do about it except ride the wave.
tofupup's review against another edition
4.0
I couldn't relate to everything about Gen X women in this book, but a lot was very relatable. The last chapter was particularly good.
brdgtc's review against another edition
3.0
Can you "really like" a book that explains why your particular demographic is so depressed with no hope in sight?
kimlovesstuff's review against another edition
3.0
I wanted to like this book much more than I did.
It started well and as a Gen X woman initially I really felt seen, but over the course of the book, it started to wear on me. This might not happen for you, but things that irked me were - so much of the book/the anecdotes/the interviews feature motherhood or children. There are a few people she interviews who are single and childfree but it's weighted heavily towards mothers. If you're not one there are whole chunks that you can skip.
It's also incredibly American, the focus here is almost specifically on American Gen X women. While I partook in much of the pop culture that the book mentions it's probably not going to resonate as much if you were born outside of the US.
Mostly what I found troublesome about the book was that it's just a bummer. Where Jeff Gordiner's 'X Saves The World' took all the same bad stuff into account I left that read feeling positive and active. This book felt like a list of complaints and no real recommendations or solutions. I know that it isn't a self-help book but I finished this feeling less positive than I started it.
Probably not exactly what you need in 2020.
Finally, as an entirely personal issue I found the lack of exploration of any possible themes outside society and upbringing (and anything vaguely akin to spiritual) left this book feeling very surface level to me.
Not a bad book, but not for me!
It started well and as a Gen X woman initially I really felt seen, but over the course of the book, it started to wear on me. This might not happen for you, but things that irked me were - so much of the book/the anecdotes/the interviews feature motherhood or children. There are a few people she interviews who are single and childfree but it's weighted heavily towards mothers. If you're not one there are whole chunks that you can skip.
It's also incredibly American, the focus here is almost specifically on American Gen X women. While I partook in much of the pop culture that the book mentions it's probably not going to resonate as much if you were born outside of the US.
Mostly what I found troublesome about the book was that it's just a bummer. Where Jeff Gordiner's 'X Saves The World' took all the same bad stuff into account I left that read feeling positive and active. This book felt like a list of complaints and no real recommendations or solutions. I know that it isn't a self-help book but I finished this feeling less positive than I started it.
Probably not exactly what you need in 2020.
Finally, as an entirely personal issue I found the lack of exploration of any possible themes outside society and upbringing (and anything vaguely akin to spiritual) left this book feeling very surface level to me.
Not a bad book, but not for me!
cathsgraphs's review against another edition
2.0
This book seriously confused me. 75% of the book was all the reasons why being a GenX woman sucks. Aaaaaall the shitty things that have happened to us as a generation. So freakin depressing. So I guess what the author was trying to say is… you’re not alone and it makes sense you’re miserable??? Maybe?
The last two chapters actually got to the suggestions. Let me summarize- spend less time on your phone- cultivate friendships and reframe the way you look at life. Instead of seeing your life as a bunch of shitty things that have happened- see your life as an adventure, be curious about the crap and know that it’s not that bad. Eye roll.
The last two chapters actually got to the suggestions. Let me summarize- spend less time on your phone- cultivate friendships and reframe the way you look at life. Instead of seeing your life as a bunch of shitty things that have happened- see your life as an adventure, be curious about the crap and know that it’s not that bad. Eye roll.
ejs126's review against another edition
1.0
HATED this book, the author was winey and boring and the book was truly difficult to finish
knaught's review against another edition
3.0
What I liked: this book was a parade of facts and figures and I absolutely feel calmer/less alone because of it. So helpful to see “normal” in data!
What I struggled with: felt a bit too upper-middle-class-privileged to me.
What I struggled with: felt a bit too upper-middle-class-privileged to me.
alundeberg's review against another edition
4.0
I listened to this book not because I am experiencing a midlife crisis (which I am not), but because Ada Calhoun's subject is Gen-X women, and my first thought was, "Someone wrote a book about us?". Calhoun mined various studies and interviewed hundreds of women to come to the conclusion that it is hard to be a woman in America, especially in your mid-forties and early fifties. We don't need a book to tell us what we already know, but she does shine a light on the particular challenges that Gen-X women face. We were the first generation of women who COULD have it all, but overtime our society morphed it into that we MUST have it all-- the family, the career, perfect home. We were expected to do great things, and what happens to us when the greatness does not materialize or when it does, it doesn't feel satisfying? In the race to have it all, women made choices like waiting until they were older to have children in order to focus on their career first. Now they are in middle-age with young kids and aging parents, both which need tending to. And don't forget about the career. That needs tending to, too. Women, Calhoun posits, have it all, but slam on the breaks once they wonder if it is really what they wanted. She also delves into issues of peri-menopause, marriage problems, job satisfaction, and friendships.
I think it is typical for people to question their lives and choices when they get older, and I do not think that Calhoun's message is that revolutionary. What I appreciated about it is how she discusses how women can have a midlife crisis, too. It's not just men, who do it loudly and publicly. Women's crisis is quiet, internal. She does offer some suggestions about how to navigate this time of life. It's an interesting read.
I think it is typical for people to question their lives and choices when they get older, and I do not think that Calhoun's message is that revolutionary. What I appreciated about it is how she discusses how women can have a midlife crisis, too. It's not just men, who do it loudly and publicly. Women's crisis is quiet, internal. She does offer some suggestions about how to navigate this time of life. It's an interesting read.