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emmalemonnz's review against another edition
5.0
I had this book out of the library for about seven weeks before actually reading it. When I saw it on the shelf I thought, "That looks great!" But at home I started to doubt my choice. As a white atheist in "the West", what right do I have to even have opinions on whether "the Middle East needs a sexual revolution" as the title says, let alone cast judgement on women whose lives I know nothing about?
I am so glad I finally opened it and started reading. The author, Mona Eltahawy, addresses exactly that issue by saying, "When Westerners remain silent out of 'respect' for foreign cultures, they show support only for the most conservative elements of those cultures. Cultural relativism is as much my enemy as the oppression I fight within my culture and faith." She tells her own personal stories, and shares the stories of others, and that helps me (the reader, white and atheist or not) to understand at least a little of what women's lives in the Middle East and Arabic-speaking Africa are really like. And now that I no longer know nothing of their lives (although I won't pretend I suddenly know what it's like to be them), I feel confident in agreeing with Eltahawy. She makes a compelling argument.
Her style of writing, weaving personal stories together with quotes from other feminist writers, is arresting and not only demands attention, but compels the reader to action. Live out loud, she tells us, exhorting at the end of one chapter, "the most subversive thing a woman can do is talk about her life as if it matters. It does." (These are actually Eltahawy's words, unlike many of the quotes attributed to her here on Goodreads, which are actually by others, but which she has included in her book - with proper attribution.)
I especially related to the idea, entwined throughout, that being exposed to feminist thought or writing, and knowing the right words makes a difference. "Words help us find each other and overcome the isolation that threatens to overwhelm and to break us. Words say we are here." She writes about how she discovered feminism in books, as I discovered it online. It was not part of her upbringing, just as it wasn't part of mine. Growing up in middle class New Zealand in the 1990s and entering adulthood in the 2000s, there was a silence surrounding feminism that, I now realise, paid a real disservice to the radical work undertaken by many in the 70s and 80s (as well as the earlier "waves"), so that when I "discovered" feminism in the 2010s, I felt at first as though I had found something new, and then as though I had been cheated of a childhood, teen years and early adulthood that should have been rich with the language and ideas of the women who had come before me. Instead, there was a void tinged with a vague echo of contempt, where the word "feminism" felt a bit dirty if it was ever said out loud, and most girls, including me, would have told you 'we don't need feminism anymore' in an oddly smug way, even though, somewhere deep in my body (which I had learned to ignore), I knew that wasn't true.
To me, a white atheist in "the West", Mona Eltahawy's words are so vitally important. This book about Middle Eastern Muslims has resonated with me in a way I never imagined when I picked it off the library shelf. Highly recommended.
I am so glad I finally opened it and started reading. The author, Mona Eltahawy, addresses exactly that issue by saying, "When Westerners remain silent out of 'respect' for foreign cultures, they show support only for the most conservative elements of those cultures. Cultural relativism is as much my enemy as the oppression I fight within my culture and faith." She tells her own personal stories, and shares the stories of others, and that helps me (the reader, white and atheist or not) to understand at least a little of what women's lives in the Middle East and Arabic-speaking Africa are really like. And now that I no longer know nothing of their lives (although I won't pretend I suddenly know what it's like to be them), I feel confident in agreeing with Eltahawy. She makes a compelling argument.
Her style of writing, weaving personal stories together with quotes from other feminist writers, is arresting and not only demands attention, but compels the reader to action. Live out loud, she tells us, exhorting at the end of one chapter, "the most subversive thing a woman can do is talk about her life as if it matters. It does." (These are actually Eltahawy's words, unlike many of the quotes attributed to her here on Goodreads, which are actually by others, but which she has included in her book - with proper attribution.)
I especially related to the idea, entwined throughout, that being exposed to feminist thought or writing, and knowing the right words makes a difference. "Words help us find each other and overcome the isolation that threatens to overwhelm and to break us. Words say we are here." She writes about how she discovered feminism in books, as I discovered it online. It was not part of her upbringing, just as it wasn't part of mine. Growing up in middle class New Zealand in the 1990s and entering adulthood in the 2000s, there was a silence surrounding feminism that, I now realise, paid a real disservice to the radical work undertaken by many in the 70s and 80s (as well as the earlier "waves"), so that when I "discovered" feminism in the 2010s, I felt at first as though I had found something new, and then as though I had been cheated of a childhood, teen years and early adulthood that should have been rich with the language and ideas of the women who had come before me. Instead, there was a void tinged with a vague echo of contempt, where the word "feminism" felt a bit dirty if it was ever said out loud, and most girls, including me, would have told you 'we don't need feminism anymore' in an oddly smug way, even though, somewhere deep in my body (which I had learned to ignore), I knew that wasn't true.
To me, a white atheist in "the West", Mona Eltahawy's words are so vitally important. This book about Middle Eastern Muslims has resonated with me in a way I never imagined when I picked it off the library shelf. Highly recommended.
abaugher's review against another edition
5.0
This is a very revealing (no pun intended) look at sexuality and misogyny in the Middle East, but does not leave out references to this being a global pandemic, one that needs to be stopped sooner rather than later. The real life details of misogyny are appalling, disgusting, and should shame every man who has ever mistreated a woman, or stood by to let it happen.
There are multiple references to feminists from various parts of the world, including the Middle East (no, feminism is NOT a Western construct); extra reading material for further edification on this topic of such insidious abuse against half the world based on the results of a chromosome matchup.
Not for the faint-hearted. Or someone deep in denial.
There are multiple references to feminists from various parts of the world, including the Middle East (no, feminism is NOT a Western construct); extra reading material for further edification on this topic of such insidious abuse against half the world based on the results of a chromosome matchup.
Not for the faint-hearted. Or someone deep in denial.
myrrhashad's review against another edition
challenging
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
remigves's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
5.0
fkshg8465's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
5.0
Still relevant today, and lots of similarities with extreme/conservative Christians in the US too (both directly through insane and backwards laws and instruction through accepted fear tactics and an apathy for violence against women and “others”), with it all justified through scripture one way or another, which they think gives them the right to dismiss critical thinking, compassion, common sense, and empathy.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Infidelity, Torture, Violence, Body shaming, Police brutality, Domestic abuse, Misogyny, Adult/minor relationship, Confinement, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Sexual harassment, Death, Toxic relationship, Incest, Slavery, Child abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Medical content, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Religious bigotry, Bullying, Child death, Grief, Kidnapping, and Sexual violence
yotterz's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
5.0
niksniks's review against another edition
5.0
“I implore allies of the countries in this part of the world to pay more attention to women’s rights and to refuse to allow cultural relativism to justify horrendous violations of women’s rights. This is very different from calling on anyone to “rescue us.” I insist on the right to critique both my culture and my faith in ways that I would reject from an outsider. I expose misogyny in my part of the world to connect the feminist struggle in the Middle East and North Africa to the global one. Misogyny has not been completely wiped out anywhere. Rather, it resides on a spectrum, and our best hope for eradicating it globally is for each of us to expose and to fight against local versions of it, in the understanding that by doing so we advance the global struggle.”
Hymens and headscarves is a collection of essays focusing on the impact of patriarchy on the lives of middle eastern and North African women. And how this unfair perception and mistreatment of women is shaped, justified and maintained. She argues that the toxic combination of culture and religion have led to the private and public control of women’s rights and bodies. She covers several topics – from virginity tests, sexual harassment in public, genital mutilation, domestic violence to marital rape. The stories she shared really helped paint a picture of the level of violence these women, including herself, have faced.Not an easy read but very informative.
Hymens and headscarves is a collection of essays focusing on the impact of patriarchy on the lives of middle eastern and North African women. And how this unfair perception and mistreatment of women is shaped, justified and maintained. She argues that the toxic combination of culture and religion have led to the private and public control of women’s rights and bodies. She covers several topics – from virginity tests, sexual harassment in public, genital mutilation, domestic violence to marital rape. The stories she shared really helped paint a picture of the level of violence these women, including herself, have faced.Not an easy read but very informative.
tlaynejones's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Gaslighting, Domestic abuse, Confinement, Body shaming, Misogyny, Sexual harassment, Sexual assault, Rape, Sexual violence, Sexism, and Police brutality
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Murder, Classism, Islamophobia, Physical abuse, Colonisation, Grief, and Injury/Injury detail
bennificial's review against another edition
challenging
informative
medium-paced
4.0
So interesting! Especially her points about choice feminism and cultural relativism.