Reviews tagging 'Suicidal thoughts'

Hell Followed with Us by Andrew Joseph White

48 reviews

kickitupanotch7's review against another edition

adventurous challenging dark emotional tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death of parent, Gore, Medical trauma, Transphobia, Injury/Injury detail, Child death, Homophobia, Vomit, Violence, Blood, War, Death, Fire/Fire injury, Dysphoria, Body horror, Medical content, Child abuse, Genocide, Misogyny, Pandemic/Epidemic, Religious bigotry, Deadnaming, and Terminal illness

Moderate: Domestic abuse, Toxic relationship, Suicidal thoughts, Physical abuse, Chronic illness, Cursing, and Sexual content

Minor: Alcohol, Body shaming, and Ableism

hemlockbabe's review against another edition

dark emotional mysterious sad tense

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

This book was disgusting in a visceral, gore-y way. If I had read literally any trigger warnings online, I would have been prepared, but as is it was a pretty interesting thing to discover as I read this book in the hours that the game store I was managing was completely and consistently dead.
I adored this book. I picked it up entirely on a whim during pride month on the wall of recommended reading at a small bookstore. I read (more like skimmed) the blurb on why the shop employee recommended it so highly. I love reading religious trauma inspired books, so I pretty much was sold immediately. 
I devoured this book during the span of one six hour shift at my workplace. I've always been a fast reader- it's my attention span that ruins my ability to read books. This book sucked me in hard enough that occasionally I had to be prompted multiple times by customers to buy their stuff. 
I don't know if I would have had a different experience with it if I had known of the trigger warnings, especially the violence, purposeful misgendering, and body horror. I've always loved zombie books, and I read those curled up in chairs in the library of my high school, so I didn't think much of the location I would be reading this book.
Public crying, for me, is the highest form of torture, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the pages of this book. The pacing, the content, the plight of the main character- all of it kept me hooked until the very end. I'm just glad I didn't snap at a kid for interrupting my reading time with a craving for Pokémon cards.
My review doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of public opinion- I have a history of really liking books and movies that had piss poor reviews and ratings- but I loved this book so much. As I've gotten older and more mentally ill, I don't get sucked into the pages of a book like a used to as a kid. I miss the ability to be absorbed in a story until it's done, and this book brought that back for me.
This book is definitely not for everyone, and all readers should be mindful of their triggers to disturbing content. But I definitely enjoyed myself, hence the five star rating.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body horror, Mental illness, Outing, Child abuse, Cultural appropriation, Child death, Transphobia, Religious bigotry, Pandemic/Epidemic, Homophobia, Gore, Forced institutionalization, and Self harm

Moderate: Ableism, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Body shaming, Suicidal thoughts, Cannibalism, Deadnaming, Eating disorder, and Emotional abuse

Zombie apocalypse, and a religious cult worshipping it as the rapture. Or God's work to cleanse this Earth and remake it anew.

winterhartarts's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful inspiring mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Was a little slow for the first roughly half of the book, and most of the main characters felt slightly undeveloped at that point. However, once the halfway point happens, this really turn wild, and I was far more engaged until the very end. The world building kept me through the first half as well, so there’s a lot to be said for how the author fully actualized this kind of post-apocalyptic world filled with zombie amalgamations that all at once resembled ones from the games in The Last Of Us series and specifically the big blob from the game Inside. Imagery was always on point too, and I really felt engaged during times it was utilized. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Violence, Sexism, Eating disorder, Xenophobia, Body shaming, Vomit, Self harm, Panic attacks/disorders, Death of parent, Chronic illness, Religious bigotry, Pandemic/Epidemic, Mass/school shootings, Injury/Injury detail, Hate crime, Gun violence, Genocide, Dysphoria, Death, Deadnaming, Child death, Murder, Medical trauma, Medical content, Body horror, Transphobia, Gaslighting, Child abuse, Ableism, Grief, Gore, Classism, Homophobia, War, Cannibalism, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Blood, Suicidal thoughts, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Forced institutionalization, Cursing, Animal death, Toxic relationship, Torture, Slavery, Sexual content, Physical abuse, Misogyny, Mental illness, Kidnapping, Fire/Fire injury, Drug use, Colonisation, Alcohol, and Toxic friendship

arlingtonchamberofgay's review against another edition

dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Truly a magnificent story about queer kids fighting to save the world. Andrew does an amazing job with world building and character development. I kept wanting to know what was going to happen. As a queer transmasc, it felt amazing to see myself in something so monstrous and angry, to actually see someone fight back with all they have.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Vomit, Dysphoria, Injury/Injury detail, Body horror, War, Transphobia, and Violence

Moderate: Deadnaming, Suicidal thoughts, Genocide, Grief, and Fire/Fire injury

emjams's review against another edition

dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Deadnaming, Forced institutionalization, Injury/Injury detail, Medical trauma, Murder, Pandemic/Epidemic, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Blood, Body horror, Chronic illness, Death, Death of parent, Dysphoria, Genocide, Gore, Grief, Gun violence, Hate crime, Kidnapping, Medical content, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Religious bigotry, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Violence, Vomit, and Child death

Moderate: Xenophobia, Self harm, Mental illness, Medical content, Abandonment, War, Torture, Suicidal thoughts, Physical abuse, Outing, Domestic abuse, and Mass/school shootings

Minor: Sexual content, Sexual violence, Animal death, and Alcohol

This book has basically every imaginable TW on it EXCEPT for sexual assault, but even that is briefly touched on. Benji has trauma from assault, but only from physical/emotional abuse, not SA.

anonymous_blobfish's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

Ok, despite my earlier claims that I wasn’t going to review this one just yet, I’m here with the review. Why the change of heart? I’m currently reading another own voices trans dystopic/apocalyptic body horror novel that I’m having polar opposite feelings about and that has really cemented my opinion of this story.

Disclaimer to start: I’m a white cis woman. I’m queer and a late comer to that part of myself. I’m a staunch atheist who has no religious trauma. I do have some of that fun mother trauma but from a different angle. This is all to say that there are much more important opinions than my own to refer to. I just want to talk about how this book made me feel and what I did or did not like about it.

Please refer to the authors review for full content warnings. This book is A Lot™️ and includes a variety of body horror, religious trauma, homophobia and transphobia, as well as gore, violence (physical and sexual), and genocide.

Hell Followed With Us is an intense, graphic, relentless story that takes place in the aftermath of a religious cult’s genocidal actions. We follow two POV characters: Benji (who we spend the majority of our time with), a trans boy struggling with his identity and place in society, and Nick, the autistic leader of a resistance group who operate out of a queer friendly community centre. 

This book was intense. I was not expecting the body horror to be as graphic as it was (despite the very clear introductory content warning by the author). I also didn’t reacquaint myself with the plot before starting (it’s been in my list for ages and the library just got an audiobook and I just jumped on in) so the storyline was unexpected and not entirely what I had remembered it being (seriously all I remembered was biblically accurate angel). I do think reading the blurb would have helped a little but the one criticism I really have about this book is that I didn’t feel like it explained the world well. This may be due to listening to the audiobook rather than reading the physical book (I may have missed things while multitasking) but I did feel a little lost for the first third of the story.

Aside from this, I think this book was exceptionally good. There was such a feeling of authenticity that comes from an own-voice author and the especially appreciated how unsanitised this story was. Benji and Nick were both incredibly flawed characters who were portrayed so lovingly: they were flawed and messy and sometimes a little too much and that doesn’t make them less worthy of love. I found the side characters to be compelling although occasionally a bit shallow (I wanted more, I’m greedy). I also found the storyline fascinating once I understood what was happening.

For anyone considering reading this book: do it. But have grace with yourself. This book will make you feel uncomfortable. Between the vomiting up of internal organs and the reflection on unintentional transphobia, it is a lot. I’m very keen to read the authors next book as I think he will only grow in skill!

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gore, Transphobia, Homophobia, Religious bigotry, Physical abuse, Murder, Genocide, Vomit, Suicidal thoughts, Injury/Injury detail, Forced institutionalization, Death, Deadnaming, Body horror, Sexual violence, and Violence

msradiosilence's review against another edition

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death of parent, Grief, Racism, Religious bigotry, Blood, Cursing, Deadnaming, Gore, Homophobia, Injury/Injury detail, Fire/Fire injury, Body horror, Child abuse, Transphobia, Emotional abuse, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Death, Vomit, and Child death

Moderate: Alcohol, Hate crime, Domestic abuse, Dysphoria, Gaslighting, Injury/Injury detail, Suicidal thoughts, Ableism, Confinement, Gun violence, Misogyny, and Sexual content

casperquartz's review against another edition

adventurous dark emotional tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gore, Homophobia, Pandemic/Epidemic, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Vomit, Blood, Body horror, Genocide, Injury/Injury detail, Dysphoria, Gun violence, Cursing, Deadnaming, and Death of parent

Moderate: Sexism

Minor: Sexual content

graesstardust's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful mysterious tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes

4.0

i was really prepared for a heart wrencher so i was a little disappointed on that front because it didn’t quite hit there for me but it was really enjoyable and even the gore wasn’t too much for someone who is typically quite squeamish. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Vomit, Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, Religious bigotry, Gore, Toxic relationship, and Violence

pewter's review against another edition

adventurous challenging dark emotional mysterious tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Really enjoyed both the story and how it was written. It wasn't too colloquial but still had an organic narrative rhythm and some excellent lines. But mainly the world built here is not at all unimaginable, and the themes of found family and queer joy are easy to embrace and not hammy. I think this truly does encompass many of the dissonances we queer folk encounter, from our bodies to how people see us, to struggles with religion and Heaven. Wild ride. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abandonment, Blood, Body horror, Gore, Excrement, Emotional abuse, Dysphoria, Death of parent, Vomit, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Genocide, Deadnaming, Cursing, War, Medical trauma, Death, Physical abuse, Mental illness, Transphobia, Toxic relationship, Torture, Religious bigotry, Hate crime, Self harm, Panic attacks/disorders, Murder, Kidnapping, Grief, Confinement, and Child death