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112 reviews for:
Why Have Kids?: A New Mom Explores the Truth About Parenting and Happiness
Jessica Valenti
3.52 AVERAGE
112 reviews for:
Why Have Kids?: A New Mom Explores the Truth About Parenting and Happiness
Jessica Valenti
3.52 AVERAGE
emotional
informative
medium-paced
"How Have Kids?" might be a more appropriate name for this book. It brings up many of the aspects and injustices of parenthood that everyone is aware of. Cost of childcare, dads as "babysitters" and lots of diapers. It's written for mothers who need to know that other people struggle with motherhood. So maybe it should be called "Why (did we) Have Kids?" though it doesn't provide an answer.
interesting research here on working moms, maternity laws and parenting norms. this book might really make some people mad.
I wanted to like this book, but the memoir/feminist analysis mash-up just didn't do it for me. I think that either part on its own would've been preferable. In fact, I would love to read Ms. Valenti's memoir of her first few years of motherhood....
she really doesn't answer the question and her thesis seems to be stop trying to be a perfectionist.
meh. Was interesting at first, but read like an extended blog post, or as my friend Lauren described it, a long-form magazine piece. Nothing really new here, at least to me. I skimmed the second half.
Not sure she answers the question posed by the title, but she sure indicts the idea of "total motherhood" and the ways in which our culture and our government do not adequately support parents. If you are feeling low on feminist outrage (because you haven't been paying attention?), then this book will certainly give you a jump start.
I enjoyed the book, I liked her voice. I didn't think there was anything earth-shattering in it or controversial, and for the most part, I agreed with her. But when I didn't agree with her, I didn't feel as if she was belittling; in fact, I felt you could have a conversation with her and discuss something from two different points of view and leave from the conversation without feeling that you needed to slam your head against a wall. Does that make sense?
I guess the only downside was that there wasn't much that kind of stuck with me. Even now, a day or so after I finished reading it, I've forgotten half of what I read. (Which is really nothing new, but still . . . )
I guess the only downside was that there wasn't much that kind of stuck with me. Even now, a day or so after I finished reading it, I've forgotten half of what I read. (Which is really nothing new, but still . . . )
If you are a person (esp woman) who does not want kids or thinks they might not want kids, this book is for you. It is here to support you and empower you, saying “it is not your womanly obligation to steward life into this world! You are more than a vessel! You will be happier without kids!”
But here’s the thing- some of us, including strong feminist women, do want kids. And that doesn’t make us ‘bad feminists’ or ‘traitors to the cause.’ This book accused the populace of hating women who choose not to mother, but then turned around and told women they were essentially making a mistake to have children, stumbling into misery. The studies referenced were skewed to the negative, with no sight of the studies that report parents as being happier at end of life than nonparents.
Look, none of those Instagram perfect moms is real. Motherhood is gross and hard and sticky and smelly and exhausting. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be totally precious and fulfilling and terrific too.
Feminism is about choice, despite the preachings of this book. It means I can choose not to be a mom, and it means I can choose motherhood. I can also choose to continue my career alongside motherhood. The two are not mutually exclusive. It is MY choice, and no one should let anyone bully or pressure them out of their choice. That’s feminism.
But here’s the thing- some of us, including strong feminist women, do want kids. And that doesn’t make us ‘bad feminists’ or ‘traitors to the cause.’ This book accused the populace of hating women who choose not to mother, but then turned around and told women they were essentially making a mistake to have children, stumbling into misery. The studies referenced were skewed to the negative, with no sight of the studies that report parents as being happier at end of life than nonparents.
Look, none of those Instagram perfect moms is real. Motherhood is gross and hard and sticky and smelly and exhausting. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be totally precious and fulfilling and terrific too.
Feminism is about choice, despite the preachings of this book. It means I can choose not to be a mom, and it means I can choose motherhood. I can also choose to continue my career alongside motherhood. The two are not mutually exclusive. It is MY choice, and no one should let anyone bully or pressure them out of their choice. That’s feminism.
Jessica Valenti is one of my favorite writers, and she addresses the complicated political concept of what it means to be a parent. I loved it.