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3.69 AVERAGE
3.69 AVERAGE
emotional
hopeful
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
Mooi boek, had het snel uit! Maar geeft (helaas) echt geen goed beeld van hoe een goede therapeut hoort te zijn en hoe groepstherapie in zijn werk gaat normaal. Vond het wel heel fijn en interessant om Christie's verhaal te horen.
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
I finished this book a few weeks ago and have not written a review yet because I wanted to make sure that I got it right. I'm going to start out being transparent and honest, if you read this book and liked it, don't worry about reading any further...this book was problematic for so many reasons that I don't know where to begin.
As a mental health clinician who is responsible for running groups regularly, I believe that this book should come with a preface stating that the practices of the therapist in the memoir are problematic, unethical and dangerous. I had to remind myself several times while reading this that it is indeed categorized as a memoir and is not someone's fictional interpretation of how group therapy might go.
First and foremost, confidentiality is not optional in group therapy. It's not optional in any therapy whatsoever. And, to disregard this very important and protective part of the therapeutic process is incredibly unnerving. Secondly, to mingle with and in some ways, orchestrate, the relationships of group members as learning experiences or social exercises is completely immoral and damaging. As mental health clinicians, we take an oath and abide by a code of ethics that is completely ignored throughout the entire memoir.
I know this is a fiery and passionate post, and I will not apologize for it. Please feel free to read this for yourself and make your own opinion, however, I beg of you...do not let Group influence your own narrative of group therapy and it's benefits. This is not an accurate depiction of the group process. I truly hope that the experiences that Christie Tate writes about have not dissuaded any body from seeking the help that they need. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to a professional to seek the appropriate services that can help you.
As a mental health clinician who is responsible for running groups regularly, I believe that this book should come with a preface stating that the practices of the therapist in the memoir are problematic, unethical and dangerous. I had to remind myself several times while reading this that it is indeed categorized as a memoir and is not someone's fictional interpretation of how group therapy might go.
First and foremost, confidentiality is not optional in group therapy. It's not optional in any therapy whatsoever. And, to disregard this very important and protective part of the therapeutic process is incredibly unnerving. Secondly, to mingle with and in some ways, orchestrate, the relationships of group members as learning experiences or social exercises is completely immoral and damaging. As mental health clinicians, we take an oath and abide by a code of ethics that is completely ignored throughout the entire memoir.
I know this is a fiery and passionate post, and I will not apologize for it. Please feel free to read this for yourself and make your own opinion, however, I beg of you...do not let Group influence your own narrative of group therapy and it's benefits. This is not an accurate depiction of the group process. I truly hope that the experiences that Christie Tate writes about have not dissuaded any body from seeking the help that they need. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to a professional to seek the appropriate services that can help you.
This book made me uncomfortable, as her therapist seems to be crossing some ethical lines. The group members agree to have zero privacy or personal boundaries and give him ultimate power over every part of their lives, hinging their decisions on his say-so, even when his advice is frankly kind of horrifying. I'm not saying that unorthodox methods can't work, but if this is an accurate depiction of her time in therapy, I'm a little alarmed, especially considering that he has her going to multiple groups per week (even SHE says she sometimes wondered if she was just a cash cow for him, and I SEE HER POINT, because she was paying him nearly $900 a month). Other times, he is portrayed as saying and doing nothing much at all, even when the author is doing unhinged things like smashing a flower pot into her own face during a group session. From the descriptions given in the book, I truly don't see the benefits of this therapy.
The other issue I had is that I found Christie Tate really difficult to sympathize with a lot of the time, due to things like whining and crying about "having" to buy a nice condo completely by herself—as if that weren't a thing many people would cut off fingers to be able to do. Ditto the fact that she frets and waffles about whether to accept a prestigious, high-paying job she's offered, or that she thinks nothing of the time and money she can so easily spare for therapy. I also can't help wondering how her past sexual partners feel about having every lurid detail of their sex lives with her revealed like this. I would be beyond humiliated and furious, if that were me, even with a name change. I notice she doesn't go into that kind of detail about her now-husband, either, so I can't help thinking that she knows exactly why that's not cool, but did it anyway. It's one thing to decide that YOU are okay with zero boundaries or privacy, but deciding that for someone else is another matter.
The other issue I had is that I found Christie Tate really difficult to sympathize with a lot of the time, due to things like whining and crying about "having" to buy a nice condo completely by herself—as if that weren't a thing many people would cut off fingers to be able to do. Ditto the fact that she frets and waffles about whether to accept a prestigious, high-paying job she's offered, or that she thinks nothing of the time and money she can so easily spare for therapy. I also can't help wondering how her past sexual partners feel about having every lurid detail of their sex lives with her revealed like this. I would be beyond humiliated and furious, if that were me, even with a name change. I notice she doesn't go into that kind of detail about her now-husband, either, so I can't help thinking that she knows exactly why that's not cool, but did it anyway. It's one thing to decide that YOU are okay with zero boundaries or privacy, but deciding that for someone else is another matter.
"I heard East Coast vowels"
"There can be no intimacy without saying no"
Very funny in moments
"There can be no intimacy without saying no"
Very funny in moments
Idk how to review or rate this. On one hand, Tate is super crass and seemingly totally self absorbed. There is not a single side story about anyone else, and even her bff’s dad’s tragic death is all about her. Maybe this is the point? I have to disclose that my only experience with group therapy is Bob Hartley’s on The Bob Newhart Show, and it’s nothing like this group. I don’t know anything about group therapy, and this group feels totally cultish. I cannot believe the authority these folks give Dr. Rosen. I mean, seriously. But all that said, I think the results are beautiful and true to how humans were designed—to live in unashamed, unafraid vulnerability with people who unconditionally accept and choose to love you. Tate is loved into lovability throughout her time in group. Rosen and the other group members’ love transforms and protects, and I’m half in awe, half jealous. I was absolutely transfixed by Tate’s story, as there are so many universal elements to it. I am disappointed that it ends with her finding a husband, although I know that was her goal and I understand what it means that she is in a functional relationship. I get the implications. I don’t know; if you’ve read this much, you can see I have very mixed feelings about the book. And I guess that’s what a great book does—evoke and provoke.
I imagine this book could be helpful to anyone contemplating starting therapy, and the author’s writing style and detail smartly outlines how often frustrating the therapy process can be. Not my favorite read, but it did remind me of some of the lessons I learned in therapy.
I’d give it a 3.5 but will round up cause it’s someone’s life. I love over sharing so I enjoyed this! Is it professional/ethical? I don’t know. But it was interesting!!!!