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Reviews
The Sex Lives of African Women: Self-Discovery, Freedom, and Healing by Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah
gabby_l's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Rape, Abortion, and Domestic abuse
_sena_frost's review against another edition
5.0
Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah weaves a beautiful web of what is considered the anathema of the female sex life.
The deeply personal stories of the different women offer insights into the politics of female sexuality and how women across Africa are finally coming into their own as sexual beings. The third section, Healing, is my favourite especially because it doesn’t necessarily tell the story of people who are over the trauma from their past abuse. It highlights the realness of the situations they were in and the self awareness or lack of within themselves.
The deeply personal stories of the different women offer insights into the politics of female sexuality and how women across Africa are finally coming into their own as sexual beings. The third section, Healing, is my favourite especially because it doesn’t necessarily tell the story of people who are over the trauma from their past abuse. It highlights the realness of the situations they were in and the self awareness or lack of within themselves.
ruxandra_grr's review against another edition
I don't know exactly what to rate this. It was an engaging, at times difficult read (it has alllll of the content warnings, including SA, CSA and so on). It features a wide range of women of all sexual orientations, cis and trans, monogamous or non-monogamous, kinky or vanilla, quite a few sex workers and activists, a lot of different social backgrounds and countries of origin and a lot of perspectives on sex and intimacy and relationships.
The stories are non-fiction - condensed interviews with the questions removed - so sometimes they have fascinating structures and turns: a woman might be talking about a specific lover for a while and then casually start talking about their husband they were with at the same time (I say that in a non-judgmental way). They are not meant to be exhaustive sexual histories, just episodes grouped under three big themes: self-discovery, freedom and healing, though at times those themes feel interchangeable to a degree. So there definitely is an editing eye there.
That's why I was shocked and felt uncomfortable when one of the stories, 'Baaba', features something described as a 'threesome', but can be nothing else than SA that the woman telling the story and her boyfriend at the time (who was, admittedly very abusive and controlling)) perpetrated on one of her friends (who was drunk and sleeping so she could not possibly had consented) and it was not addressed at all. Since it was an interview, the author could have asked follow up questions about that, but there was nothing, it felt brushed off (that woman was also casually fatphobic and there was at least another instance of that).
The stories are non-fiction - condensed interviews with the questions removed - so sometimes they have fascinating structures and turns: a woman might be talking about a specific lover for a while and then casually start talking about their husband they were with at the same time (I say that in a non-judgmental way). They are not meant to be exhaustive sexual histories, just episodes grouped under three big themes: self-discovery, freedom and healing, though at times those themes feel interchangeable to a degree. So there definitely is an editing eye there.
That's why I was shocked and felt uncomfortable when one of the stories, 'Baaba', features something described as a 'threesome', but can be nothing else than SA that the woman telling the story and her boyfriend at the time (who was, admittedly very abusive and controlling)) perpetrated on one of her friends (who was drunk and sleeping so she could not possibly had consented) and it was not addressed at all. Since it was an interview, the author could have asked follow up questions about that, but there was nothing, it felt brushed off (that woman was also casually fatphobic and there was at least another instance of that).
s_o_n_n_i_e's review against another edition
5.0
It is refreshing to see the variety of enjoyable experiences that exist among Black and African women but I can't get over the heartbreaking reality that rape, assault and less than ideal sexual situations are so rampant in this continent and that often, there's no justice, just pain.
leiaclark11's review against another edition
5.0
This book gives a voice to women who don’t often have it giving us an insight into their private lives and how various women view not only sex but the world we live in.
atlouise's review against another edition
3.0
Relevant och intressant men saknade kanske en fördjupning. Kanske skillnaden mellan mina förväntningar och själva boken men på ett sätt var historierna lite liknande. Men alltid uppfriskande att läsa om sexualitet på ett så fritt och tillgängligt sätt
bookofcinz's review against another edition
4.0
Relevant, timeless and a must read especially for African Women
This is the book I needed to read that I didn't know I needed to read. A great, in-depth look at the sex lives of African women who are living on and off the continent. I felt the collection was layered, informative and truly a great addition to African and African Diaspora reads. It is not every day you pick up a book that delves deeply into the intimate lives of Black Women and I wanted a lot more.
I cannot recommend this collection enough.
This is the book I needed to read that I didn't know I needed to read. A great, in-depth look at the sex lives of African women who are living on and off the continent. I felt the collection was layered, informative and truly a great addition to African and African Diaspora reads. It is not every day you pick up a book that delves deeply into the intimate lives of Black Women and I wanted a lot more.
I cannot recommend this collection enough.
linebacklund's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
4.0