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mavisbird's review
4.0
This book was a marathon but it was worth it. The book is really great when you start reading it, but it really slows down toward the middle of it. You start to wonder if you should keep going, but I promise you that finishing it will be worth it. You are tricked into living the characters lives and going through their hardships with them. The ending is sweet yet sad and gives a great prospective on life and how easy it is to take things for granted of get caught up in your own selfish desires. This book will make you cry and really think about your life. Good read.
heybrownberry's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
mysterious
slow-paced
5.0
angelamichelle's review
5.0
For a long time I was enjoying this book but not loving it. By the end, I had that sort of worshipful feeling toward something true, important, and honest, something that shows proper respect for the toil and majesty of each ordinary life.
I think perhaps an aggressive edit of a middle couple hundred pages was in order. But also, maybe that time the reader spends just sort of living normal life alongside the characters helped give the proper gravitas to the end.
I love this title. It refers to a specific condition of one character, but also to the mortal condition of all of us. We are all impaired by circumstance, foibles, weaknesses. We are all living the best we can our life's greatest work, invisible though it may be. I love the idea of having enough compassion to always see others as "not ourselves."
I think perhaps an aggressive edit of a middle couple hundred pages was in order. But also, maybe that time the reader spends just sort of living normal life alongside the characters helped give the proper gravitas to the end.
I love this title. It refers to a specific condition of one character, but also to the mortal condition of all of us. We are all impaired by circumstance, foibles, weaknesses. We are all living the best we can our life's greatest work, invisible though it may be. I love the idea of having enough compassion to always see others as "not ourselves."
candacesiegle_greedyreader's review
2.0
Sad, sad, sad. No one gets a break in this novel, no one gets more than a brief glimmer of happiness. It’s a total downer from start to finish, but finish it you will. The pages fly by, perhaps because that as humans we are ever hopeful and Matthew Thomas is a good writer. But We Are Not Ourselves is hard going and left me feeling crappy. Is the novel worth the hype? Maybe if you are in the right place, but I can’t imagine where that would be.
mer3bear's review
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I really wasn't sure if I was going to like this book at first. The first 200 pages are SO SLOW. But then once the "deeper psychological shift" of Eileen's husband and the "inescapable darkness" come into play, it becomes such a powerful story of grief, family, the immigrant experience, and the American dream. Eileen and her son Connell are genuinely such annoying characters at first but since this book is of such huge scope, it feels like you've lived their entire lives with them and learn to care about them so deeply. The last third of the book really broke me down and made me cry so many times... chapter 98>>>. I wish I could give it 5 stars because of how much it moved me but because I wasn't as into the first chunk of the novel I'll have to bump it down to 4. I don't recommend this for people who aren't into slow reads but if it sounds like it's for you I'd go for it.
lisawhelpley's review
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I loved this book. The characters, their challenges, and the writing all made me care and want to keep reading.
gabmc's review
4.0
How can a book be both beautiful and depressing at the same time? This was such a beautifully written story - I think I have over 100 highlights in the 600 pages of the book. However it dealt with some of the darker aspects of family life, such as the impact of an alcoholic mother on a young girl, and the consequences of early onset dementia on a family. Eileen Tumulty was born in New York to Irish immigrant parents - her mother pined for Ireland and her father had his sights set on a better life for Eileen in America. As a young girl, Eileen dreamed of marrying someone with not such an Irish last name as hers. However, when she met Ed Leary one New Year's Eve she knew pretty quickly that she was going to marry him. Eileen and Ed eventually had a son, Connell. Ed and Connell developed an amazing relationship but Eileen referred to him as 'the boy' and seemed to hold him at arm's length. Eileen was very ambitious for Ed and wanted him to apply for 'better' jobs so they could move into a house in a 'better' area. The characters are so vivid and the writing is touching. I will be thinking about this book for some time to come.
abbeyhar103's review
I am not usually stopped by depressing books, but I need something more escapist than this now. I got halfway through the audiobook (aka over 10 hours) and decided that the basic premises of the book (you can never fully financially plan for life, you can never know what your health will be, you can never know the kind of person you will become) were not what I needed at the moment. Thanks so much, January! Perhaps I will resume later.
essayem's review
5.0
I really loved this book, and a part from that, I loved the experience of reading it.
It's described as "sprawling family epic" -- so you should know from the start, you're about to spend a decent amount of time with this family. If you don't dig character-driven plots, don't dig into this book.
The narrative focuses on the life of Eileen Leary (nee Tumulty) as she grows up in Queens, the daughter of first-generation Irish-American immigrants. Her Mother is distant, depressed and an alcoholic and her Father, while tough, is as supportive as he knows how and somewhat larger than life in the local Irish community. Eileen, like many, dreams of getting out of her hometown and achieving the things her parents didn't, in an effort to live what she believes will ultimately be a better life.
Eileen meets Ed Leary, a scientist - who is unlike the men she's dated in the past. He's brilliant and kind and she imagines him taking her into a higher, wealthier social sphere. They marry, and Eileen is painfully slow on the uptake that Ed is resistant to that higher, wealthier world - he prefers intimate conversations to big parties; he prefers to teach at a community college instead of NYU, ostensibly because the community college kids are more deserving of his Ivy League education; he's happy with the first house they own because it works while Eileen is always trying to improve her situation, if only on a superficial level.
As the years go on--Ed has, what the primary review refers to as a "psychological shift" that readers will pick up on way before Eileen. It's frustrating to watch them both, as well as their son, Connell, come to terms (if they ever truly do) with their evolving circumstances and how it will affect their future. It's so captivating at this point - because, as a reader, you are engrained with Eileen - the book is mostly told from her perspective and while she may not be overwhelmingly likable, she does seem the most real character I've read in years.
I, and likely other readers, kept waiting for Eileen to make the decision I wanted her to make versus the decisions she does. In that way, Thomas does an incredible job of keep Eileen true to who she is - who these years of marriage, these years of wars and jobs and houses and extended families, these years of life -- have made her. Her depiction feels honest and, as the description reads "Life is more than a tally of victories and defeats" - I felt like that line is apt for this book, and for Eileen. Sadly, something she, and maybe others, realize too late in the game.
Chad Harbach is blurbed on the back, which is ironic, because this is the first book since his "Art of Fielding" in 2012, that covered a similar amount of time and where I felt so engaged with the characters. Just a phenomenal book that I was sad to finish.
It's described as "sprawling family epic" -- so you should know from the start, you're about to spend a decent amount of time with this family. If you don't dig character-driven plots, don't dig into this book.
The narrative focuses on the life of Eileen Leary (nee Tumulty) as she grows up in Queens, the daughter of first-generation Irish-American immigrants. Her Mother is distant, depressed and an alcoholic and her Father, while tough, is as supportive as he knows how and somewhat larger than life in the local Irish community. Eileen, like many, dreams of getting out of her hometown and achieving the things her parents didn't, in an effort to live what she believes will ultimately be a better life.
Eileen meets Ed Leary, a scientist - who is unlike the men she's dated in the past. He's brilliant and kind and she imagines him taking her into a higher, wealthier social sphere. They marry, and Eileen is painfully slow on the uptake that Ed is resistant to that higher, wealthier world - he prefers intimate conversations to big parties; he prefers to teach at a community college instead of NYU, ostensibly because the community college kids are more deserving of his Ivy League education; he's happy with the first house they own because it works while Eileen is always trying to improve her situation, if only on a superficial level.
As the years go on--Ed has, what the primary review refers to as a "psychological shift" that readers will pick up on way before Eileen. It's frustrating to watch them both, as well as their son, Connell, come to terms (if they ever truly do) with their evolving circumstances and how it will affect their future. It's so captivating at this point - because, as a reader, you are engrained with Eileen - the book is mostly told from her perspective and while she may not be overwhelmingly likable, she does seem the most real character I've read in years.
I, and likely other readers, kept waiting for Eileen to make the decision I wanted her to make versus the decisions she does. In that way, Thomas does an incredible job of keep Eileen true to who she is - who these years of marriage, these years of wars and jobs and houses and extended families, these years of life -- have made her. Her depiction feels honest and, as the description reads "Life is more than a tally of victories and defeats" - I felt like that line is apt for this book, and for Eileen. Sadly, something she, and maybe others, realize too late in the game.
Chad Harbach is blurbed on the back, which is ironic, because this is the first book since his "Art of Fielding" in 2012, that covered a similar amount of time and where I felt so engaged with the characters. Just a phenomenal book that I was sad to finish.