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aliciabooks's review
4.0
CONFRONTING MY OWN MORTALITY AS A PATH TO HAPPINESS RESONATES MORE WITH ME THAN POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS FOR SURE
kiwi_fruit's review against another edition
4.0
Interesting and thought provoking book. It deals much more with human psychology (touching on philosophy and religion) than self help. Burkeman explores a new approach to happiness called “negative path” which leads to some counterintuitive insights such as setting goals can lead to catastrophic consequences, seeking security to failures and the effort to try to feel happy is often precisely the thing that makes us miserable. Well worth a read.
Favourite quotes:
Faced with the anxiety of not knowing what the future holds, we invest ever more fiercely in our preferred vision of that future – not because it will help us achieve it, but because it helps rid us of feelings of uncertainty in the present.
Insecurity is the essential nature of reality – and all our distress arises from trying to scramble to solid ground that doesn’t actually exist.
Perfectionism, at bottom, is a fear-driven striving to avoid the experience of failure at all costs. At its extremes, it is an exhausting and permanently stressful way to live.
The real revelation of the ‘negative path’ was not so much the path as the destination. Embracing negativity as a technique, in the end, only really makes sense if the happiness you’re aiming for is one that can accommodate negative as well as positive emotions.
Favourite quotes:
Faced with the anxiety of not knowing what the future holds, we invest ever more fiercely in our preferred vision of that future – not because it will help us achieve it, but because it helps rid us of feelings of uncertainty in the present.
Insecurity is the essential nature of reality – and all our distress arises from trying to scramble to solid ground that doesn’t actually exist.
Perfectionism, at bottom, is a fear-driven striving to avoid the experience of failure at all costs. At its extremes, it is an exhausting and permanently stressful way to live.
The real revelation of the ‘negative path’ was not so much the path as the destination. Embracing negativity as a technique, in the end, only really makes sense if the happiness you’re aiming for is one that can accommodate negative as well as positive emotions.
vinkamaharani's review
5.0
There are several books with a negativism approach but we could agree that the positivists are enormous. The Antidote shoots right away: why do we need to be positive thinking to be happy? Or it goes further, what if the pursuit of happiness itself is a futile & fruitless journey?
If I may take some key takeaways it would be these three: it's dangerous to be in one polar only; there are so many tools to get closer to happiness and positive thinking is not the only one; how close the concept of negative capability with Ummatan Wasathan at Islam which means justly balanced.
As the subtitles recommend, this book will fit a sceptic & can't stand the positive thinking wave. It'll fit also to anyone who try to challenge their definition of happiness.
If I may take some key takeaways it would be these three: it's dangerous to be in one polar only; there are so many tools to get closer to happiness and positive thinking is not the only one; how close the concept of negative capability with Ummatan Wasathan at Islam which means justly balanced.
As the subtitles recommend, this book will fit a sceptic & can't stand the positive thinking wave. It'll fit also to anyone who try to challenge their definition of happiness.
valdast's review
5.0
This book was so good it should be mandatory in schools or something - I had so many epiphanies while reading it, my brain kept lighting up like a Christmas tree
nrfaris's review
5.0
Stoicism teaches us that how we feel about a thing is not the same as the thing itself. Traffic may be bad but I don’t have to feel bad about traffic. I can choose how I feel about a thing, a decision which can foster peace or chaos, depending on the choice. But acceptance does not mean resignation.
From the Buddhists, “I” and my thoughts are not the same. Observing my thoughts can lead to a healthy detachment from them, leading to greater clarity of action - I do not have to feel like doing a thing to do that thing.
Slow down.
Safety, comfort, control, security are impermanent. Life includes risk, discomfort, chaos, vulnerability, failure, and eventually death. The negative capacity is a skill that doesn’t avoid the difficult aspects of life, neither does it seek them out. But when they come, it embraces them for what they are.
Happiness is not measured by one’s success in the relentless pursuit of the positive; it is a clear eyed, curious (awe and wonder), open embrace of all the mysteries of life.
From the Buddhists, “I” and my thoughts are not the same. Observing my thoughts can lead to a healthy detachment from them, leading to greater clarity of action - I do not have to feel like doing a thing to do that thing.
Slow down.
Safety, comfort, control, security are impermanent. Life includes risk, discomfort, chaos, vulnerability, failure, and eventually death. The negative capacity is a skill that doesn’t avoid the difficult aspects of life, neither does it seek them out. But when they come, it embraces them for what they are.
Happiness is not measured by one’s success in the relentless pursuit of the positive; it is a clear eyed, curious (awe and wonder), open embrace of all the mysteries of life.
mffap's review
5.0
Interesting overview of different paths to happiness through critical (or 'negative') thinking. The author does not want to ingrain another way of living but offers some insight into different ways of thinking about happiness.
benevolentreader242's review
4.0
Lot of food for thought. Not really new ideas, but everything in packaged in a nice way to think about and dwell on later.
tusharmarpaka's review
5.0
I learnt about this book when reading about the author's recent book called Four Thousand Weeks. That's next in my list.
I have always hated the idea of positive thinking, blind optimism, projecting your aspirations into the world and hoping it would come true, and all that jazz. I have always been fascinated by stoicism and felt that it put forward some good points. You don't have to be positive all the time. You just have to start with whatever you have, from wherever you are - Ugly, bruised and all.
This book echoed that sentiment and dove deeper into Buddhism, and many more things. About how wanting the next bigger thing, denying self pleasure or respite of any kind to make 'future' better is the default human condition.
I recommend this book.
I have always hated the idea of positive thinking, blind optimism, projecting your aspirations into the world and hoping it would come true, and all that jazz. I have always been fascinated by stoicism and felt that it put forward some good points. You don't have to be positive all the time. You just have to start with whatever you have, from wherever you are - Ugly, bruised and all.
This book echoed that sentiment and dove deeper into Buddhism, and many more things. About how wanting the next bigger thing, denying self pleasure or respite of any kind to make 'future' better is the default human condition.
I recommend this book.
iguazelcz's review against another edition
5.0
Una crítica muy necesaria a los gurús del pensamiento positivo y seminarios de motivación que están tan presentes hoy en día. Después, porque criticar sin ofrecer o, al menos, buscar soluciones es de mal gusto, hace una introducción a las ideas principales de distintas alternativas que pueden guiar tu tiempo en la Tierra: el estoicismo, el budismo, etc. Un libro asequible, que no deja de ser un buen punto de partida o una invitación a leer más sobre los autores o ideas que menciona.
Luego, como siempre, mantener estas ideas en el tiempo aplicándolas a la vida es la parte complicada, porque todos sabemos que solo leer no es suficiente y que mucha gente se queda solo en este primer paso porque es el más fácil... pero eso ya es otra historia.
Luego, como siempre, mantener estas ideas en el tiempo aplicándolas a la vida es la parte complicada, porque todos sabemos que solo leer no es suficiente y que mucha gente se queda solo en este primer paso porque es el más fácil... pero eso ya es otra historia.
myrhial's review
4.0
The perfect book for a cynic like me, even though I prefer to think of myself as a realist in that regard. Stoicism, Buddhism, mindfulness and a bunch of other things I found worked amongst the plethora of useless advice all make their appearance here, to no great surprise. As the author writes, it is simple, but not easy, and we seem to confuse those words. It all boils down to acceptance, because we really can't control everything, and it is in trying to do so that we make ourselves so miserable.