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sharedbyayla's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
bookherd's review
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
This book is an epic consideration of parenthood in circumstances where the child profoundly challenges the parents' expectations: cases of deafness, Down Syndrome, dwarfism, schizophrenia, transgender, prodigies, children of rape, and children who become criminals are all examined. While it is a doorstop of a book (702 pages of narrative, 960 pages including notes, bibliography, and index), it is compulsively readable. Andrew Solomon's narrative is precise about difficult or nuanced emotions, but never dense.
One of the most fascinating discussions in this book is about the tension between whether to "cure" conditions like deafness, or celebrate the distinct identity that the condition confers. Solomon examines this dilemma and the nuances it takes on with each case that he considers. Is the condition a disability or an identity? Can a disability be separated from a person's identity? Would it be appropriate to grieve if, for instance, no more children were born with dwarfism, deafness, or autism?
Until the final chapter, Solomon's prose is measured and calm in its description and analysis of people's relationships to the challenges presented by their children. The final chapter, where he describes his own journey to fatherhood in light of all the work he had done for this book, is a shift to a much more emotional tone. It felt like a radical change after 600 pages of his previous tone, but was fitting to his subject matter and allowed him to sum up the wide ranging investigation of his book.
Read if you're looking for stories about people adjusting to parenting situations that are radically different from what they expected. It's mostly uplifting, boosts empathy.
One of the most fascinating discussions in this book is about the tension between whether to "cure" conditions like deafness, or celebrate the distinct identity that the condition confers. Solomon examines this dilemma and the nuances it takes on with each case that he considers. Is the condition a disability or an identity? Can a disability be separated from a person's identity? Would it be appropriate to grieve if, for instance, no more children were born with dwarfism, deafness, or autism?
Until the final chapter, Solomon's prose is measured and calm in its description and analysis of people's relationships to the challenges presented by their children. The final chapter, where he describes his own journey to fatherhood in light of all the work he had done for this book, is a shift to a much more emotional tone. It felt like a radical change after 600 pages of his previous tone, but was fitting to his subject matter and allowed him to sum up the wide ranging investigation of his book.
Read if you're looking for stories about people adjusting to parenting situations that are radically different from what they expected. It's mostly uplifting, boosts empathy.
emzapk's review
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
Stunning!!! Compassionately written and eye opening. I learned so much.
ovenbird_reads's review against another edition
3.0
Some amazing insight and discussion of what Solomon terms horizontal identities (those we come by in life but are not born into directly through our parents and ancestry, for example deafness). But this book was WAY too long to read the whole thing. Read the chapters that deal with identities that you particularly relate to or are interested in and skip the rest of the 1000 pages. Amazing book, but just too big.
aliena_jackson's review against another edition
4.0
I’ve finally finished the beast! At last I’ve conquered the monster!
lory_enterenchanted's review
This was very interesting and I'd like to finish, but it was just too long for me at the moment. I need more than 3 weeks, or else a good dose of uninterrupted time.
clairemarlowe's review against another edition
5.0
Astonishing book. What makes it so compelling is how informative about Disability and the struggle for identity but at the same time is written with such a huge open heart and immense self-reflection. Reading it helped me understand so much about what is it to be disabled, but it also made me a more compassionate person.
skypes's review
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape and Ableism