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akihitoreads2312's review
informative
mysterious
slow-paced
5.0
One of the best books I ever read very esstential and not just for allosexuals or alloromantics
poisoned_icecream's review
hopeful
informative
reflective
3.5
Samantha Rendle has dropped all of her labels. That is fine. I get joy from my labels, but nobody is obligated to use labels if they don't want to.
Anyway, as some other reviewers have mentioned, this book is more of a basis 101 introduction to aromanticism. The language is very informal, which makes this an easy and accessible read. There are brief definitions of aromantic and its microlabels. It is also nice that there are quotes from people who are on the aromantic spectrum. Although in the section where she lists famous aromantic people, the only author she includes is Alice Oseman, when Claudie Arseneault is one of the biggest names when it comes to aromanticism and asexuality.
Aromanticism is one of the most ignored and misunderstood identities outside of LGBTQ+ spaces, and books like this can be helpful in bringing awareness and hopefully acceptance. This is not a perfect book by any means, but I'm still glad it exists and I would still recommend it. I would just advise that readers seek out more sources instead of just completely relying on this book.
Anyway, as some other reviewers have mentioned, this book is more of a basis 101 introduction to aromanticism. The language is very informal, which makes this an easy and accessible read. There are brief definitions of aromantic and its microlabels. It is also nice that there are quotes from people who are on the aromantic spectrum. Although in the section where she lists famous aromantic people, the only author she includes is Alice Oseman, when Claudie Arseneault is one of the biggest names when it comes to aromanticism and asexuality.
Aromanticism is one of the most ignored and misunderstood identities outside of LGBTQ+ spaces, and books like this can be helpful in bringing awareness and hopefully acceptance. This is not a perfect book by any means, but I'm still glad it exists and I would still recommend it. I would just advise that readers seek out more sources instead of just completely relying on this book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia
marioncromb's review against another edition
informative
reflective
fast-paced
2.5
It's good that there's a book about aromanticism. There should be more books about aromanticism. But this wasn't the book about aromanticism for me, who has identified on the aro spectrum for years. The bits I most liked/found affirming/resonant were the contributions from other writers that bookended some of the chapters. I also liked that the book was very clear that not all aromantic people are asexual, and that aroallos shouldn't be stigmatised. And also the focus on other non-sexual/non-romantic relationships being just as important. It did feel a little defensive rather than celebratory though.
I felt frustrated by the very surface level analysis in this book, that presented itself as an informative book (or maybe just the subtitle does) but that was really more just personal opinion/experience/crisis/simplistic agony aunt ('try getting friends or a hobby!')column. It felt more like a blog post or youtube video, which makes sense considering the creators experience. There wasn't any particular academic rigor - a large proportion of the citations were Wikipedia. Speaking of, the author bemoans the lack of aromantic Wikipedia entries as if Wikipedia is some single entity that is the arbitrator of knowledge rather than something anyone can edit - including the author (who better to write a Wikipedia article on the subject then the person who wrote the book on it)! Some things that were definitely opinions or assumptions were presented as fact. I had to laugh when it said 'Institutional arophobia isn't one I've heard a lot about' when it's really one of the most prevalent, considering e.g. tax breaks for married couples etc etc. She speaks about Yasmin Benoit recieving online abuse, but never even thinks to mention or consider that that abuse might also be particularly compounded by misogynoir.
For something more in depth and less 'I guess so its true', 'i know two allo autistic people so autism and identifying with aromanticism aren't linked' etc I'd recommend Sherronda J Brown's very well researched and thought-provoking Refusing Compulsory Sexuality.
Also I feel like there was a potential here that was wasted - the author having experience of being aroace but also of having experienced those attractions makes her perfectly positioned to write a book explaining the whole spectrum and what those attractions feel like - which would be very helpful for arospecs like me reading it trying to understand our own experiences. But this wasn't really there. At one point it goes 'and then I experienced sexual and romantic attraction and got into a relationship and I'm completely in love with him' - but then doesn't explain how they know that, what exactly 'in love' feels like, what makes it different to before!! It just takes it for granted we know what that is - which aros reading it as a guide probably don't! An explanation from an aroace perspective/understanding is so rare and valuable and useful for aros who are trying to understand themselves and its an opportunity that was just missed.
I felt frustrated by the very surface level analysis in this book, that presented itself as an informative book (or maybe just the subtitle does) but that was really more just personal opinion/experience/crisis/simplistic agony aunt ('try getting friends or a hobby!')column. It felt more like a blog post or youtube video, which makes sense considering the creators experience. There wasn't any particular academic rigor - a large proportion of the citations were Wikipedia. Speaking of, the author bemoans the lack of aromantic Wikipedia entries as if Wikipedia is some single entity that is the arbitrator of knowledge rather than something anyone can edit - including the author (who better to write a Wikipedia article on the subject then the person who wrote the book on it)! Some things that were definitely opinions or assumptions were presented as fact. I had to laugh when it said 'Institutional arophobia isn't one I've heard a lot about' when it's really one of the most prevalent, considering e.g. tax breaks for married couples etc etc. She speaks about Yasmin Benoit recieving online abuse, but never even thinks to mention or consider that that abuse might also be particularly compounded by misogynoir.
For something more in depth and less 'I guess so its true', 'i know two allo autistic people so autism and identifying with aromanticism aren't linked' etc I'd recommend Sherronda J Brown's very well researched and thought-provoking Refusing Compulsory Sexuality.
Also I feel like there was a potential here that was wasted - the author having experience of being aroace but also of having experienced those attractions makes her perfectly positioned to write a book explaining the whole spectrum and what those attractions feel like - which would be very helpful for arospecs like me reading it trying to understand our own experiences. But this wasn't really there. At one point it goes 'and then I experienced sexual and romantic attraction and got into a relationship and I'm completely in love with him' - but then doesn't explain how they know that, what exactly 'in love' feels like, what makes it different to before!! It just takes it for granted we know what that is - which aros reading it as a guide probably don't! An explanation from an aroace perspective/understanding is so rare and valuable and useful for aros who are trying to understand themselves and its an opportunity that was just missed.