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purplepierogi's review
2.0
edit: I skipped some stuff but read most of the last bit just to say I finished (apparently 15% of e-copy was notes bibliography etc). everything still stands — first part was boring with no real perspective, second part was A Lot and not enjoyable or well structured to be thought provoking. pass!
…
Yeah, I couldn’t finish this one, I made it 75% through but the chapter on bestiality was as bad as the trigger warnings professed. Of what I did read, the author does not have any interesting exploration of her subject matter and the framing was nothing special, it is pretty dry and the questions for thought at the end of each chapter just felt tacked on and limp. The chapter on age gap relationships turned out to be familiar to me already as I’d seen the primary couple featured on that snapchat segment “Love Don’t Judge,” and this book is kind of that writ large — no real discussion, just a presentation of people. And the two poles are 1) things you’re probably familiar with, asexuality and polyamory and 2) incest and bestiality.
As a real criticism for publishers, I know that the chapter titles were probably left just as the interviewee’s names in order to emphasize them as people over their sexual proclivities, but I wish that the titles had something to do with the content of the chapter so as a reader I could gauge exactly what I’m about to read or what chapters I want to skip without having to be deep into them.
…
Yeah, I couldn’t finish this one, I made it 75% through but the chapter on bestiality was as bad as the trigger warnings professed. Of what I did read, the author does not have any interesting exploration of her subject matter and the framing was nothing special, it is pretty dry and the questions for thought at the end of each chapter just felt tacked on and limp. The chapter on age gap relationships turned out to be familiar to me already as I’d seen the primary couple featured on that snapchat segment “Love Don’t Judge,” and this book is kind of that writ large — no real discussion, just a presentation of people. And the two poles are 1) things you’re probably familiar with, asexuality and polyamory and 2) incest and bestiality.
As a real criticism for publishers, I know that the chapter titles were probably left just as the interviewee’s names in order to emphasize them as people over their sexual proclivities, but I wish that the titles had something to do with the content of the chapter so as a reader I could gauge exactly what I’m about to read or what chapters I want to skip without having to be deep into them.
chughes120's review
4.0
Insight into the lives of people who identify with the sexual taboos of nonmonogamy, polyamory, asexuality, incest, and zoophilia.
This book is a lot. The first half is fascinating and feels deeply important from a representation perspective. The second half was equally fascinating, but more in the same way that looking at roadkill is fascinating: revolting, but you can't look away. I imagine other will disagree, but I thought the author handled these topics masterfully by admitting to her own prejudices and judgments and inserting her own journey researching these topics along with the journeys of those she interviewed. She didn't shy away from calling people on their bullshit (particularly in the incest chapter), and detailed her own feelings to parallel what she imagined the reader would be feeling as well.
Ultimately I thought this was extremely well done and would recommend it to anyone wanting to broaden their horizons...
This book is a lot. The first half is fascinating and feels deeply important from a representation perspective. The second half was equally fascinating, but more in the same way that looking at roadkill is fascinating: revolting, but you can't look away. I imagine other will disagree, but I thought the author handled these topics masterfully by admitting to her own prejudices and judgments and inserting her own journey researching these topics along with the journeys of those she interviewed. She didn't shy away from calling people on their bullshit (particularly in the incest chapter), and detailed her own feelings to parallel what she imagined the reader would be feeling as well.
Ultimately I thought this was extremely well done and would recommend it to anyone wanting to broaden their horizons...
s_raye's review
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
tense
fast-paced
5.0
thequeeraunt's review against another edition
1.0
I would give 0 stars because I didn't finish, but that's not the way this site works.
I am reviewing this audiobook after receiving a complimentary ALC from Libro.fm
I believe that, somewhere along the way, Finding Normal had an interesting premise. "Our hyperconnected world," as the subtitle describes, does indeed allow people all over the world to find their own version of normal - others who think like them, share their beliefs, belong to their communities. This, as a concept, would make a pretty cool study. You could look at all of the positive ways this hyperconnectedness impacts marginalized people, at the myriad ways it allows fans to band together over their favorite pop culture phenomenons, and at the unsavory ways in which it leads to cultlike behavior, indoctrination, and radicalization. I would read that book.
Finding Normal is, unfortunately, not that book. While the author does state in her introduction that the structure of the book's chapters is not meant to imply that she is drawing an equivalence between their subjects, she must know that, disclaimer or no, that is absolutely how it will come across. She even acknowledges this! Was there truly no other way to organize these stories in a way that did not place polyamory, asexuality, and incest on the exact same level? These things are not the same. If you wanted to write a book about the huge technological shift in finding like-minded individuals to normalize our experiences as human beings, write that book instead of this one. This one unintentionally reinforces the exact kind of "slippery slope" argumentation that many sexual conservatives like to throw around in discourse about gay marriage ("What's next, people marrying dogs?"). And I just can't get behind that. I can't.
I don't recommend this book.
I am reviewing this audiobook after receiving a complimentary ALC from Libro.fm
I believe that, somewhere along the way, Finding Normal had an interesting premise. "Our hyperconnected world," as the subtitle describes, does indeed allow people all over the world to find their own version of normal - others who think like them, share their beliefs, belong to their communities. This, as a concept, would make a pretty cool study. You could look at all of the positive ways this hyperconnectedness impacts marginalized people, at the myriad ways it allows fans to band together over their favorite pop culture phenomenons, and at the unsavory ways in which it leads to cultlike behavior, indoctrination, and radicalization. I would read that book.
Finding Normal is, unfortunately, not that book. While the author does state in her introduction that the structure of the book's chapters is not meant to imply that she is drawing an equivalence between their subjects, she must know that, disclaimer or no, that is absolutely how it will come across. She even acknowledges this! Was there truly no other way to organize these stories in a way that did not place polyamory, asexuality, and incest on the exact same level? These things are not the same. If you wanted to write a book about the huge technological shift in finding like-minded individuals to normalize our experiences as human beings, write that book instead of this one. This one unintentionally reinforces the exact kind of "slippery slope" argumentation that many sexual conservatives like to throw around in discourse about gay marriage ("What's next, people marrying dogs?"). And I just can't get behind that. I can't.
I don't recommend this book.
thelexingtonbookie's review
4.0
This was really informative and I wish this was the type of required reading we had in Health class my freshman year. In a world that is slowly (oh so slowly) becoming more comfortable talking about our bodies, our health, and our mental awareness, Finding Normal and similar resources are the perfect way to encourage open and honest conversation. Dispelling taboos and providing historical context, Tsoulis-Reay has created a wonderful sounding board for readers to find answers to some of their most personal questions, while sharing studies on intimate human experiences.
emmadstanden's review against another edition
3.0
Okay so the first half was really good but she kinda totally changes her research style in her last two more controversial chapters. all of the chapters in the first half had more case studies and then the last two seemed I also really did not like that she did not include a conclusion chapter. She just presents everything and makes her own subtle (or not so subtle) opinions nested within the text, and then doesn't bring all the information together at the end with a conclusion to tie into her thesis/impetus. It just felt lazy in the second half. I think her thing is "people will be scandalized by my last two chapters" but it's really just how she changes her whole journalistic style. Like obviously the GSA and Zoosexual are super stigmatized and more polarizing in general but she doesn't seem to take a neutral presentation and doesn't have very many case studies (in contrast with 3+ case studies per chapter as in the first section).
anyways... i recommend the first half in all honesty but skip the second section. like go ahead and read the second half because you're going to, and get annoyed.
gets three stars bc of first half
queer tag bc of first couple chapters :)
anyways... i recommend the first half in all honesty but skip the second section. like go ahead and read the second half because you're going to, and get annoyed.
gets three stars bc of first half
queer tag bc of first couple chapters :)
mick's review
2.0
This was a weird one and I’m not entirely sure how to rate it. I almost felt like the author was able to write more neutrally about the final two chapters than the earlier chapters; I sensed judgment from the author particularly during some of the poly segments.
The earlier chapters were very drawn out and weren’t anything that hasn’t been written about before. I’m not sure who the target audience for this book was supposed to be. People who are not usually phased by taboo would probably be bored by the first part and interested to read the second part. People who are more shocked by such things would probably be interested by the first part and, judging from other reviews, feel that the second part had gone too far.
The chapter about animals was in particular seemed to leave out relevant information because some of it discusses animals and consent in the context that we eat animals and breed animals. But vegans argue that this isn’t ethical behavior either, precisely because of issues of consent, and that wasn’t mentioned (at least not in depth, unless I really zoned out during that bit).
I think this would have been better off as individual standalone articles, like this apparently started, rather than a book.
The earlier chapters were very drawn out and weren’t anything that hasn’t been written about before. I’m not sure who the target audience for this book was supposed to be. People who are not usually phased by taboo would probably be bored by the first part and interested to read the second part. People who are more shocked by such things would probably be interested by the first part and, judging from other reviews, feel that the second part had gone too far.
The chapter about animals was in particular seemed to leave out relevant information because some of it discusses animals and consent in the context that we eat animals and breed animals. But vegans argue that this isn’t ethical behavior either, precisely because of issues of consent, and that wasn’t mentioned (at least not in depth, unless I really zoned out during that bit).
I think this would have been better off as individual standalone articles, like this apparently started, rather than a book.