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4.51 AVERAGE
4.51 AVERAGE
reflective
slow-paced
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
I don't have the vocabulary to review this memoir in a way that does it justice. It's raw and honest, and filled with so much pain and sadness, yet it is somehow hopeful. Life goes on despite what happens to us, and we must actively choose to continue living—if that is what we decide to do.
I cannot imagine the pain of losing both one's children, but death is something that will touch everyone at some point. This memoir shows that grief takes many forms and gives people the agency to express it in whatever way feels right for them, regardless of what others may think. Life is hard, and we are all doing the best we can to get through it.
I cannot imagine the pain of losing both one's children, but death is something that will touch everyone at some point. This memoir shows that grief takes many forms and gives people the agency to express it in whatever way feels right for them, regardless of what others may think. Life is hard, and we are all doing the best we can to get through it.
reflective
sad
Content Warnings
It’s a book about surviving the suicide of children.
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
‘I am not a grieving mother. I am the mother who will live, every single day, for the rest of my life, with the pain of losing Vincent and James, and with the memory of bringing them up.’
So initially I struggled to connect with this because there was a lot of Greek history mentioned and plays and things and it was losing my interest, but I stuck with it and I’m really glad I did.
I feel like I learnt a fair amount from this read. Li didn’t mince any of her words, and certainly didn’t use any unnecessarily.
I had expected this to be a book about her sons, but it’s actually much bigger than that. There were some heart wrenching truths on grief vs mourning, and shallow sentiments from neighbours, friends and random strangers.
Considering that this was a book for James, I didn’t feel like he was mentioned much at all. We definitely got a much clearer picture of who Vincent was…but perhaps that’s the point? Maybe James was who he was because of who Vincent was? I don’t have the answers, but it was something I picked up on and wondered about.
I bookmarked a good few pages, especially when she was addressing people who had tried to take advantage of her mourning and also highlighting how some well meaning platitudes can often do more harm than good.
‘Sometimes there is no silver lining in life. Some consolations are strictly and purely for the consolers themselves. Please hold on to your silver linings, as I must decline.’
I think this is a read you might not necessarily understand or connect with if you haven’t lost a child, particularly to suicide, but I think there is value in her sharing this with us.
She addresses the way we confront (or don’t confront) death as people, and how that affects the way we interact with those who have suffered loss. There is much to be learnt here and if you are in a headspace where you can handle this, I recommend it.
So initially I struggled to connect with this because there was a lot of Greek history mentioned and plays and things and it was losing my interest, but I stuck with it and I’m really glad I did.
I feel like I learnt a fair amount from this read. Li didn’t mince any of her words, and certainly didn’t use any unnecessarily.
I had expected this to be a book about her sons, but it’s actually much bigger than that. There were some heart wrenching truths on grief vs mourning, and shallow sentiments from neighbours, friends and random strangers.
Considering that this was a book for James, I didn’t feel like he was mentioned much at all. We definitely got a much clearer picture of who Vincent was…but perhaps that’s the point? Maybe James was who he was because of who Vincent was? I don’t have the answers, but it was something I picked up on and wondered about.
I bookmarked a good few pages, especially when she was addressing people who had tried to take advantage of her mourning and also highlighting how some well meaning platitudes can often do more harm than good.
‘Sometimes there is no silver lining in life. Some consolations are strictly and purely for the consolers themselves. Please hold on to your silver linings, as I must decline.’
I think this is a read you might not necessarily understand or connect with if you haven’t lost a child, particularly to suicide, but I think there is value in her sharing this with us.
She addresses the way we confront (or don’t confront) death as people, and how that affects the way we interact with those who have suffered loss. There is much to be learnt here and if you are in a headspace where you can handle this, I recommend it.
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
Having read and loved Li’s previous book Where Reason Ends a couple of years ago, I downloaded this one from Netgalley impulsively. First, what I did not realize because I requested without reading the synopsis were the ways in which this book were so completely tied to that earlier work in the kind of devastating subject matter that is being undertaken here. Because of the trauma that is being disclosed here, it can feel difficult to critique the book; however, the author is putting this out for consumption as a work to be interacted with. My criticism of the book is that it feels much too soon after the events Li is grappling with. The thesis of the book is that it is the work. She is dedicating this work to the loss of her second child in the way that she created art reflecting on the loss of her first child; however, this work still feels much more tied to the loss of her first child than that of her second. Some of this may be tied to the allowances she gives us about that child’s reticence to be acknowledged, but I can’t help, but feel that some of that is an understandable, temporal inability to completely grapple with her experience.
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
Content Warnings
Moderate: Mental illness, Suicide, Suicide attempt
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective