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4.4 AVERAGE
4.4 AVERAGE
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
This is going right onto my favorites shelf - What We Carry by Maya Shanbhag Lang.
The heart of this memoir is the author’s relationship with her mother, a physician who immigrated to the United States from India. Maya takes on the role of caregiver when her mother develops Alzheimer’s. Then Maya’s image of her mother radically changes when she learns of long buried secrets.
Between the short chapters and how deeply this latched into my heart, I could NOT put this down.
This memoir poked all of my soft spots. A complicated mother-daughter relationship, caregiving for a loved one, and learning about people beyond our perception of them.
It’s also very much about storytelling. How we present ourselves, what we choose to believe, the personal significance of memories. Maybe it’s not facts that shape us, but stories.
There’s so many resonant layers to What We Carry. I can see myself rereading this later in life and appreciating different parts each time. I’ll certainly carry this with me.
The heart of this memoir is the author’s relationship with her mother, a physician who immigrated to the United States from India. Maya takes on the role of caregiver when her mother develops Alzheimer’s. Then Maya’s image of her mother radically changes when she learns of long buried secrets.
Between the short chapters and how deeply this latched into my heart, I could NOT put this down.
This memoir poked all of my soft spots. A complicated mother-daughter relationship, caregiving for a loved one, and learning about people beyond our perception of them.
It’s also very much about storytelling. How we present ourselves, what we choose to believe, the personal significance of memories. Maybe it’s not facts that shape us, but stories.
There’s so many resonant layers to What We Carry. I can see myself rereading this later in life and appreciating different parts each time. I’ll certainly carry this with me.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Dementia
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
the writing was mid and lang was such an unreliable narrator that i both disagreed with her at times and couldn’t follow any cohesive train of thought as the story jumped to random incidents she decided to include. That being said, lang is such a strong person and mother and daughter and the repetition of the woman in the river and her devotion to both her mother and her daughter were so so admirable. she had some spare moments of beautiful prose that hit me too hard as the eldest daughter of an Indian immigrant and some parts were just so personal to my own relationship with my mother.
This is a beautiful memoir about mothers and daughters; since I am both a daughter and a mother to daughters, I related to it deeply.
Much of the story is told around a parable, an Indian story the author's mother had told her:
I think the instinctual first answer is that she would save her child - of course! - because as mothers we sacrifice all for our offspring. But Maya Lang's mother told her, "We do not know what the woman in the river chooses. Until we are in the river, up to our shoulders -- until we are in that position ourselves, we cannot know the answer."
Maya's relationship with her mother is complex, complicated by an emotionally abusive father, a life of mythologizing her busy physician mother, and a confused sense of self. What We Carry chronicles her attempts to build an adult relationship based on truth with her mom, whose descent into Alzheimer's makes this both more difficult and more clear. At the same time, she tries to learn from her past and build a more steadfast bond with her own young daughter.
I read this thoughtful book in just a few hours, and very much enjoyed the writing. 4 solid stars.
Much of the story is told around a parable, an Indian story the author's mother had told her:
Once there was a woman in a river. She held a child in her arms, her son. She needed to cross the river, but it was much deeper than expected. As the water reached her chest, she panicked. She saw that she had a choice. She could save herself or she could save her child. They would not both make it. What does she do?
I think the instinctual first answer is that she would save her child - of course! - because as mothers we sacrifice all for our offspring. But Maya Lang's mother told her, "We do not know what the woman in the river chooses. Until we are in the river, up to our shoulders -- until we are in that position ourselves, we cannot know the answer."
Maya's relationship with her mother is complex, complicated by an emotionally abusive father, a life of mythologizing her busy physician mother, and a confused sense of self. What We Carry chronicles her attempts to build an adult relationship based on truth with her mom, whose descent into Alzheimer's makes this both more difficult and more clear. At the same time, she tries to learn from her past and build a more steadfast bond with her own young daughter.
I read this thoughtful book in just a few hours, and very much enjoyed the writing. 4 solid stars.
"Home is the place that's always open." Full of remarkable contemplations of family dynamics, explores how they shape our own relationships to close loved ones/ourselves, and examines how those observations change with time and circumstance. Will definitely be revisiting!
emotional
inspiring
medium-paced
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
fast-paced
hopeful
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
I think Maya set out to portray a complete image of her mother, but I found myself wanting more. At times I felt she was still withholding her opinions. I love the ending of the book and the hopeful, well-rounded conclusion left for the reader as the story in real life has not been finished.