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thejunoverse444's review against another edition
5.0
Tearing up and crying and sobbing and screaming.
This one's for the kids who had horrible anger issues and no support system! In all seriousness, this book made me feel so seen and understood. And I cried! Like a Lot! My heart shattered into pieces for Joey, she's just so young and confused and she doesn't know what's going on but she wants to try and I'm just so 333 Highly, highly, highly recommend.
This one's for the kids who had horrible anger issues and no support system! In all seriousness, this book made me feel so seen and understood. And I cried! Like a Lot! My heart shattered into pieces for Joey, she's just so young and confused and she doesn't know what's going on but she wants to try and I'm just so 333 Highly, highly, highly recommend.
imstephtacular's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence and Bullying
Moderate: Medical content, Blood, Mental illness, and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Grief, Sexism, and Panic attacks/disorders
gschwabauer's review
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
I don't want to give this book three stars. I want to give it both one and five stars, simultaneously.
Look, I loved Joey. What a tender exploration of what it's like to be in middle school, wrestling with an anger that feels out of your control, wanting to protect your loved ones from it by making yourself tiny and convenient. Her relationships to all three of her brothers, and to her parents, are all moving and realistic. And I appreciated that the anger wasn't presented as either "actually she was provoked so it's fine" (it's not fine) OR "it's just totally random"--inside Joey's head, you can clearly see why the anger is building, and often she tries to convey her pain and distress in nonagressive ways and just gets ignored. Honestly, I wanted to scream at her science teacher for acting like there's any kind of "inclusive" way to do a whole unit study on genetics and heritability in middle school! What an incredibly loaded project for someone to go all *surprised Pikachu face* about when a student suddenly feels upset! The author did a great job making me root for Joey and her healing. And her self-advocacy, frankly!
So, uh, the one-star part. As I've spent the last few years trying to listen to adult adoptees and donor conceived children, parts of this book made me extremely uncomfortable. The tone is just so: Joey's moms love her very much, okay? And it's 100% fine to have questions about your donor father, and they won't take it personally, except if you make a 23andMe account everyone in the family will act like you're HuRtInG YoUr pArEnTs and your mom will secretly delete your email drafts to prevent you from contacting biological relatives "for your safety" to make sure all information on this subject passes through her instead, and sometimes your moms will get defensive or outright cry or make little snide remarks about your obsession with genetics, and also Joey, how could you do something like this without telling us??? Obviously we will only ever support you in your journey of discovery....someday.....later.....while insisting on every page that "biology doesn't make a family, love does," thus effectively gaslighting you into feeling like a bad daughter for knowing that you are literally programmed to be affected by your biology and you absolutely deserve that information for your own emotional health and physical safety. I don't know, I just hated how Joey kept being burdened by this responsibility not to "hurt" her poor fragile moms by in any way implying that they weren't a faaaaaaamily when every other person in her family is constantly criticizing her and acting like she's some kind of problem due to her explosive anger, which she very reasonably believes might have been inherited from her genetic donor. I understand that contemporary stories want to depict a wide variety of families and want to support LGBTQ+ parents, but I'm not a huge fan of the way some of them bend over backwards to make excuses for those parents because the kids' needs being legitimized would maybe imply that having two moms is bad or something.
I am not a donor conceived person, so that's as much as I feel I can weigh in without overstepping. But to write a book like this and end it with Joey's parents crying and promising to get through everything "as a family" and that we'll all help you heal "together" and hey, let's all just go to therapy, and surprise surprise at the end Joey still has the exact same amount of information about her donor that she had at the beginning . . . it felt pretty cheap to me. Oh yes, brave of her parents to come up with a solution that didn't require the story they told themselves, about how biology is 100% irrelevant and love will always be enough to address any problem, to be threatened in any way.
I'm glad they make progress. I like that Joey's mom has to acknowledge that punishment and scolding aren't addressing the issue and are driving Joey deeper into shame. Great! Those scenes were a gut punch. But this isn't JUST a story about how to help your child cope with anger. It's a story about a child who wants to know the truth about her own mind and body and never really gets the chance.
Look, I loved Joey. What a tender exploration of what it's like to be in middle school, wrestling with an anger that feels out of your control, wanting to protect your loved ones from it by making yourself tiny and convenient. Her relationships to all three of her brothers, and to her parents, are all moving and realistic. And I appreciated that the anger wasn't presented as either "actually she was provoked so it's fine" (it's not fine) OR "it's just totally random"--inside Joey's head, you can clearly see why the anger is building, and often she tries to convey her pain and distress in nonagressive ways and just gets ignored. Honestly, I wanted to scream at her science teacher for acting like there's any kind of "inclusive" way to do a whole unit study on genetics and heritability in middle school! What an incredibly loaded project for someone to go all *surprised Pikachu face* about when a student suddenly feels upset! The author did a great job making me root for Joey and her healing. And her self-advocacy, frankly!
So, uh, the one-star part. As I've spent the last few years trying to listen to adult adoptees and donor conceived children, parts of this book made me extremely uncomfortable. The tone is just so: Joey's moms love her very much, okay? And it's 100% fine to have questions about your donor father, and they won't take it personally, except if you make a 23andMe account everyone in the family will act like you're HuRtInG YoUr pArEnTs and your mom will secretly delete your email drafts to prevent you from contacting biological relatives "for your safety" to make sure all information on this subject passes through her instead, and sometimes your moms will get defensive or outright cry or make little snide remarks about your obsession with genetics, and also Joey, how could you do something like this without telling us??? Obviously we will only ever support you in your journey of discovery....someday.....later.....while insisting on every page that "biology doesn't make a family, love does," thus effectively gaslighting you into feeling like a bad daughter for knowing that you are literally programmed to be affected by your biology and you absolutely deserve that information for your own emotional health and physical safety. I don't know, I just hated how Joey kept being burdened by this responsibility not to "hurt" her poor fragile moms by in any way implying that they weren't a faaaaaaamily when every other person in her family is constantly criticizing her and acting like she's some kind of problem due to her explosive anger, which she very reasonably believes might have been inherited from her genetic donor. I understand that contemporary stories want to depict a wide variety of families and want to support LGBTQ+ parents, but I'm not a huge fan of the way some of them bend over backwards to make excuses for those parents because the kids' needs being legitimized would maybe imply that having two moms is bad or something.
I am not a donor conceived person, so that's as much as I feel I can weigh in without overstepping. But to write a book like this and end it with Joey's parents crying and promising to get through everything "as a family" and that we'll all help you heal "together" and hey, let's all just go to therapy, and surprise surprise at the end Joey still has the exact same amount of information about her donor that she had at the beginning . . . it felt pretty cheap to me. Oh yes, brave of her parents to come up with a solution that didn't require the story they told themselves, about how biology is 100% irrelevant and love will always be enough to address any problem, to be threatened in any way.
I'm glad they make progress. I like that Joey's mom has to acknowledge that punishment and scolding aren't addressing the issue and are driving Joey deeper into shame. Great! Those scenes were a gut punch. But this isn't JUST a story about how to help your child cope with anger. It's a story about a child who wants to know the truth about her own mind and body and never really gets the chance.
moonkiss's review
emotional
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
otterlyoctober's review
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
As someone who has struggled with anger issues my whole life, this hit me in the chest at 100 miles an hour. There have been many tears shed over this one folks. I really felt for all the characters (well except for one bully-type), you can clearly understand where everyone's coming from and how much they're hurting. It ends on a hopeful note, though it leaves the ultimate question, "Why is Joey like this?" unanswered, there are several possible reasons mentioned. I like it this way, a little ambiguous but with real hope for the future.
abigail_reading's review against another edition
5.0
This book had me sobbing. It was so heartbreaking and sweet and real. I really loved it and so did my nine year old that read it with me.
abishop23's review against another edition
emotional
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
freddiereadsalot's review
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
she never ever misses!