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What Doesn't Kill You: A Life with Chronic Illness - Lessons from a Body in Revolt by Tessa Miller
atokuyama's review
emotional
informative
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical content, Death of parent, Panic attacks/disorders, Excrement, Grief, Sexual assault, Medical trauma, Mental illness, and Chronic illness
Moderate: Blood, Pandemic/Epidemic, Drug abuse, Fatphobia, Addiction, Death, Alcoholism, Eating disorder, Suicidal thoughts, Drug use, Domestic abuse, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Misogyny, Ableism, and Gaslighting
smalltownbookmom's review against another edition
5.0
This is one of the best books I've read about living with a chronic (and invisible) illness written by a young woman journalist who shares not only her personal experiences but also the insights she's gained researching and talking to various experts and other disabled or chronically ill people.
Miller details her struggles to get a Chron's disease diagnosis and the toll living with such a disease took on her mental, physical and emotional health. I loved the breadth of topics she covers, with chapters devoted to advocating for herself, grieving the life she thought she was going to have, the complicated relationship she had with her caregivers, especially her mother and drug-addicted boyfriend, workplace struggles, health insurance battles, the extra stress of having a chronic illness during the pandemic and various myths and misconceptions able-bodied people have about those living with chronic illness or disabilities.
She's a strong advocate for therapy and self-care which I found so important to hear someone voicing. There's far too much shame and stigmatization around chronic illnesses and disabilities, even for people who can mask them most of the time. What's worse is when such shame or self-hate can lead to social isolation, depression and suicidal ideation.
The book also does a really great job addressing the extra pressures put on caregivers, who take on so much unpaid labor for their loved ones that can result in anger, depression and resentment or cause extra strife when one romantic partner is dependent on the other.
This was a perfect read for me during Disability Pride Month to remind myself how lucky we have it in Canada and that living with a chronic illness or disability is nothing to be ashamed about. Great on audio read by the author and HIGHLY recommended, especially for fans of Sitting Pretty, Disfigured or Disability visibility.
Favorite quote:
"We do not exist just so able bodied people can feel better about themselves. We aren't brave for living our lives. We don't need to overcome obstacles, as the old trope goes, or exist on pedestals, to be worthy human beings. Inspirational isn't a compliment, it's a reduction of humanity. It implies that sick and disabled people need to do extraordinary good things for the consumption of able bodied viewers. And more dangerously, it puts the burden of exceptionalism on the disabled or ill individual rather than focusing on the societal, structural, governmental changes that would make life better for sick and disabled people."
Miller details her struggles to get a Chron's disease diagnosis and the toll living with such a disease took on her mental, physical and emotional health. I loved the breadth of topics she covers, with chapters devoted to advocating for herself, grieving the life she thought she was going to have, the complicated relationship she had with her caregivers, especially her mother and drug-addicted boyfriend, workplace struggles, health insurance battles, the extra stress of having a chronic illness during the pandemic and various myths and misconceptions able-bodied people have about those living with chronic illness or disabilities.
She's a strong advocate for therapy and self-care which I found so important to hear someone voicing. There's far too much shame and stigmatization around chronic illnesses and disabilities, even for people who can mask them most of the time. What's worse is when such shame or self-hate can lead to social isolation, depression and suicidal ideation.
The book also does a really great job addressing the extra pressures put on caregivers, who take on so much unpaid labor for their loved ones that can result in anger, depression and resentment or cause extra strife when one romantic partner is dependent on the other.
This was a perfect read for me during Disability Pride Month to remind myself how lucky we have it in Canada and that living with a chronic illness or disability is nothing to be ashamed about. Great on audio read by the author and HIGHLY recommended, especially for fans of Sitting Pretty, Disfigured or Disability visibility.
Favorite quote:
"We do not exist just so able bodied people can feel better about themselves. We aren't brave for living our lives. We don't need to overcome obstacles, as the old trope goes, or exist on pedestals, to be worthy human beings. Inspirational isn't a compliment, it's a reduction of humanity. It implies that sick and disabled people need to do extraordinary good things for the consumption of able bodied viewers. And more dangerously, it puts the burden of exceptionalism on the disabled or ill individual rather than focusing on the societal, structural, governmental changes that would make life better for sick and disabled people."
bellalanzante's review
5.0
“My life has meaning and is worth living even if it looks different than I’d hoped.”
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A riveting memoir that is a riveting attention to detail and a fierce honesty. It is part memoir and part nonfiction, and both parts are incredibly executed. I loved that we were given a bit of memoir and then a chapter explaining more about the subject at hand. It was similar in style to Just Mercy. Tessa Miller shares her experience with her diagnosis of and life with Crohn’s disease. I am so grateful I had the opportunity to read this book and learn from Miller’s advocacy.
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I will always rave about the beautiful power of nonfiction and memoirs and this book is a perfect example of that. I learned so much from this book and it is a must read for everyone.
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CW: chronic illness, medical trauma, domestic abuse, eating disorder
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A riveting memoir that is a riveting attention to detail and a fierce honesty. It is part memoir and part nonfiction, and both parts are incredibly executed. I loved that we were given a bit of memoir and then a chapter explaining more about the subject at hand. It was similar in style to Just Mercy. Tessa Miller shares her experience with her diagnosis of and life with Crohn’s disease. I am so grateful I had the opportunity to read this book and learn from Miller’s advocacy.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I will always rave about the beautiful power of nonfiction and memoirs and this book is a perfect example of that. I learned so much from this book and it is a must read for everyone.
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CW: chronic illness, medical trauma, domestic abuse, eating disorder
kmattila's review
5.0
I love love loved this book!!! I felt so seen as someone who has chronic illness and so many things Tessa Miller wrote I found myself relating too. Anyone who has chronic illness or has a loved one with a chronic illness should read this!!!
over60's review
4.0
This book was the selection for one of my book clubs, and is by a locally-connected author. While I appreciated her honesty and detail, no holds barred, it was painful to revisit, as a lot of the journey that my husband lived was similar. He did not have the diagnosis the author struggled with, but some of the life-threatening side-effects were exactly the same. It is important to recognize that people do find a way to find purpose and joy in moments, even with the terrible trauma of a new health diagnosis. I have seen it happen.
orianymoom's review
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
4.0
this was very good, the chapters about grief and the secrets of chronically ill people made me shed actual real life tears.
there were a few pretty long paragraphs about the american health care system and how to navigate it as a chronically ill person, which were interesting to read but not really what i came to this book for.
i would absolutely recommend this book to chronically ill people and the people in their life, who want to better understand them.
there were a few pretty long paragraphs about the american health care system and how to navigate it as a chronically ill person, which were interesting to read but not really what i came to this book for.
i would absolutely recommend this book to chronically ill people and the people in their life, who want to better understand them.
hannahreadslit's review
3.0
DNF but great resources. I have a feeling I will come back to this book when I am flaring again. Thank you Tessa for putting together such a book.
ncrozier's review
3.0
This book is an excellent intro to chronic illness and Crohn's, but I did find parts of it were a little too instructional guide-like, vs. memoir.
gloriabyrd's review against another edition
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Minor: Drug abuse, Alcoholism, and Medical trauma