Reviews tagging 'Sexism'

Moja mroczna Vanesso by Kate Elizabeth Russell

93 reviews

cateyeschloe's review against another edition

dark emotional sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.75

There’s so much to say about this book and it’s difficult to put everything it made me feel into words. 

Vanessa’s pain and conflicting emotions are so very visceral in every page, and I often found myself setting down the book for a few moments just to sit with how she felt, how I felt reading it, and how what she was going through affected her. 

This book perfectly walks the line of depicting how a relationship like Vanessa’s and Strane’s can seem from Vanessa’s perspective - romantic, beautiful, a love story, “not that bad, really” - and how brutal it actually is from the outside - heartrending, manipulative, narcissistic, and cruel. 

I think the thing that stood out the most to me was asking myself the question “if something made me feel abused - even if my mind is insistent that it ‘wasn’t that bad, really’ - isn’t that still abuse?”. And I really appreciate how the book brings this perspective to light. 

It can be really easy to bury yourself under the excuses of “others had it so much worse than me” or “what happened to me wasn’t even that bad” or “I didn’t complain; didn’t that mean I was okay with it?”. And despite all of those protests, the truth still remains true if you were hurt or used or manipulated. That is still valid and you deserve to let yourself be heard, to heal, and, ultimately, to forgive yourself for something that was beyond your control and never your fault. 

This book was painful to read and beautifully written. Vanessa is relatable and agonizing to discover. The author does a phenomenal job of weaving the abuser together both from his narcissism and his charm as he walks the line between the light of day and shadow. 

This is an essential read if you have any interest in the Me Too movement or supporting and believing victims of any abuse across the board. 

This book felt like a gut punch, but it will absolutely be added to my list of favorites from now on. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Sexual harassment, Pedophilia, Sexism, Sexual assault, Emotional abuse, Child abuse, Toxic relationship, Grief, Misogyny, Suicide, Rape, Gaslighting, and Sexual violence

Moderate: Death and Sexual content

Minor: Animal death, Death of parent, Fatphobia, Body shaming, and Stalking

caelinsullivan's review against another edition

challenging dark reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Rape, Drug use, Cursing, Suicide, Violence, Suicidal thoughts, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Sexual harassment, Sexual content, Injury/Injury detail, Blood, Adult/minor relationship, Grief, Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Alcohol, Child abuse, Vomit, Sexual violence, Sexism, and Misogyny

Moderate: Alcoholism, Addiction, Abandonment, and Toxic friendship

reneetrinket's review against another edition

dark emotional medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Adult/minor relationship, Rape, Sexual content, and Gaslighting

Moderate: Alcohol, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Death of parent, Drug use, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual harassment, Suicide, Grief, Animal death, Death, Misogyny, and Pedophilia

Minor: Dysphoria, Vomit, Body shaming, Fatphobia, Kidnapping, Medical content, Mental illness, Stalking, Suicidal thoughts, Bullying, Classism, Cursing, Physical abuse, and Sexism

jadehusdanhicks's review against another edition

challenging dark sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? N/A
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? N/A
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.25

For a book that deals with such graphic themes as grooming.  This book was well written.  Did it make me uncomfortable? Yes. But that’s because the topic is a literal crime and your reading it from the victims point of view.   Following Vanessa’s grief and coming to terms with her trauma from start to finish. This book deals with the theme very well without the morbid romanticisation like we get with authors like coho.  Overall I can’t bash this book other than ensure you check triggers as this is dark and when you think it can’t get darker it will

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcohol, Animal death, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Suicide attempt, Abandonment, Adult/minor relationship, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Body shaming, Grief, Mental illness, Sexual assault, Bullying, Child abuse, Death, Death of parent, Drug abuse, Drug use, Dysphoria, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, and Sexual violence

abitofapoet's review against another edition

dark sad

disgustingly, sickeningly real. your stomach will feel like it’s rotting inside of you. 

please take trigger warnings seriously before reading.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Rape, Gaslighting, Pedophilia, Sexual content, and Sexual assault

Moderate: Sexism, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Vomit, and Alcoholism

Minor: Medical content

summer_okurimono's review against another edition

I was truly too disgusted to finish this, Triggered me in too many ways. I feel sick to my stomach because I know how accurate this is to what happens in this world.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Misogyny, Sexual content, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Gaslighting, Adult/minor relationship, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, and Sexism

ursolovelypjm's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful informative sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

This book hit me in a way that is hard to describe into words properly. It’s not a book that you can say is beautiful without feeling like you did not properly get the meaning behind it.
The impact of the abuse on Vanessa’s life is heartbreaking, and I had never read a book I wanted so badly to end the best way possible for the main character. It’s so incredibly hard to read, but at the same time so important for focusing on the victim’s perspective. I wouldn’t call it an amazing experience of reading, rather an important reflection on abuse, trauma and victims and the morality and standards put up by society, mixed with the constant hypocrisy that forces the victims to feel like they are nothing more than that; that they will never be more than their abuser and their abuse.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Drug use, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Misogyny, Toxic relationship, Gaslighting, Alcohol, Death of parent, Suicide, Emotional abuse, Rape, Sexism, Stalking, and Suicidal thoughts

lakea's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Injury/Injury detail, Pedophilia, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Suicidal thoughts, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Body shaming, Bullying, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Grief, Mental illness, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Stalking, Toxic relationship, Toxic friendship, and Vomit

Moderate: Drug use and Addiction

Minor: Lesbophobia, Fire/Fire injury, and Death of parent

lindsayerin's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Death, Emotional abuse, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Gaslighting, Misogyny, Pedophilia, and Rape

Moderate: Terminal illness, Alcohol, Death of parent, Grief, Suicidal thoughts, and Suicide

zakcebulski's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

Holy shit. This book blew me away.
I had seen this book on a good few "top books" lists of 2020, but I never picked it up. The cover always seemed very interesting, but I was never drawn to pick up this book until I saw a wave of recommendations come through on YouTube and other social media sites. I put this in the back of my mind and when I was at my local used book store I saw the book there, and picked it up.

I decided to give it a read as it had such buzz around it and I am so glad that I did. This book is as gorgeous as it is horrific, it is as beautifully written as its prose makes you want to set it down in revulsion, it is as frustrating as it is triumphant. This book is what I could accurately describe as duality encapsulated in a novel. With that being said, I cannot, in good conscience recommend this book to everyone and anyone.
The book takes place from the point of view of Vanessa Wye, and it takes place primarily in her mid-teens and later in her life in her early 30s.

Vanessa is singled out and is groomed by a teacher at her school- the illustrious Barwick Academy. Jacob Strane is an English professor, a hulking man who is lethally intelligent and a master manipulator, who also is a disgusting, repugnant, sexual deviant, who preys upon underage girls. I think that the relationship between Vanessa and Strane is written in such a way where your experience can be in itself manipulated. I felt such a level of disgust reading about the sexual abuse that takes place from the hands of a 40 some year old man to a girl of 15 years old. 
There were times when the sexual abuse and statutory rape of Vanessa are described in a way that truly turned my stomach. I felt a visceral sickness because of the razing of innocence perpetrated by this hellacious person. This behavior continues after Vanessa is too old for him when she reaches her 20s.
The grooming begins in a very seemingly innocuous way with extra attention, a gift in the form of a book, a touch, but, it soon escalates to the point where there is sex had between a man nearly 3 times the age of a girl. Strane is written in such a hyper-manipulative way where he gives all of the power to Vanessa, he says, while simultaneously setting her up to take the fall, so he can maintain his reputation.

I thought that the way Russell discussed the #MeToo movement was fantastically done. It spoke out about the treatment that victims, when they do come forward, face, as they are threatened with heinous acts for speaking out. I think that this sheds an entirely necessary light on a topic that should not be occurring, and I think that it does so in a way that subverts expectation. It is illustrated in such a way that shows what could potentially happen to another victim that speaks out, and helps to show the intent for why some victims do not speak out.

The way that he continuously is defended by Vanessa even after his death is truly heartbreaking. You realize that she is truly devoted through a perversion of what he describes as love- to the point where she feels that is the only true love she has ever received, she felt worshipped, she felt cared for. In reality, Strane is no different than any other fucking predator out there who seeks younger people to prey upon because they are such a thin, hollow person with no substance. Russell does a great job of having the reader grapple with the inner turmoil of being frustrated with Vanessa for constantly defending her abuser, but also with having the reader understand that that behavior is commonly exhibited by survivors of abuse- it is one I know I exhibit. There were so many instances wherein I was cheering when someone landed a verbal haymaker upon Strane's treatment to Vanessa, and she was unable to refute the claim. I truly have not hated a character more than Strane in a long time. I think that he was such a well written villain because he was both overtly and latently evil while masquerading as a victim. He is the epitome of a villain manipulating and gaslighting a victim for such a long time that the lies become indiscernible from the truth. I was so fucking happy when Strane died, but I also felt regret that he would not face any punishment for the things that he had done to the victims of his crimes. The way in which Russell has the reader struggle with their own inner feelings of wanting the rapist to face punishment, but also being happy (maybe that is just me) that he died, is truly incredible.

There are many passages throughout this book which are absolutely gorgeously written. There are as well passages which are truly heartbreaking. I went through this book and tabbed out so many passages, turns of phrase, descriptions of environments or feelings that it is likely one on every 2-3 pages. I think that Kate Russell does an exemplary job of conveying emotions. There are times when she conveys Vanessa's emotional turmoil so well that people can surely empathize with it. She truly captures something very human in this writing.

I thought that this was a fantastic book. It deals with a horrifically complex subject and creates very complex internal feelings as Vanessa maneuvers events which should never occur.
The graphic depiction of statutory rape, gaslighting, alcoholism are reasons why I cannot recommend this book to everyone. I think that this is an important book, but, if you decide to read it, please read through the trigger warnings beforehand.

 About the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline | RAINN 
800.656.HOPE (4673) 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcohol, Alcoholism, Bullying, Death of parent, Rape, Suicidal thoughts, Child abuse, Grief, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Gaslighting, Sexism, Sexual content, and Sexual harassment