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3.92 AVERAGE
3.92 AVERAGE
i don't know what say the thing with the book is just too emotional too much heart breaks and too much healing how can i get over their story. how their characters were developing in a way that makes sense in a way we all think, to give up on things to run away from them not knowing what are we missing and that each minute is countable we can never take this minutes again. each and every character has taught me love pain hate and how to be an adult how to appreciate moments that i may not find again. the ending was just perfect. (love the author)
But in real life we have a hard time recognizing serendipitous moments because we’re not making the story up as we go along. It’s not a lie—it’s really happening to us, and we have no idea how it will end. Some of us will look back on our lives and recall events that were a bit too perfect, but until you know the whole story, it’s impossible to see the universe at work, or even admit that there is something bigger than us, making sure everything that should happen does happen. If you can surrender to the idea that there might be a plan, instead of reducing every magical moment to a coincidence, then love will find you. He found me
I felt all kinds of retorts bubbling inside of me. The only job offer you got was at San Diego State. You didn’t move here for me. I’m just the girl you’re passing time with. We both know it. Why else would you have a hard time saying I love you? Why else can’t I see our future
From the moment I read the second line in the first paragraph, my heart rate tripled. Instantly, I was sweating. By the end of the first page, I was almost hysterical
She’s pathetic, Em. I can’t hate her because I pity her too much.”
“You’re the smartest person I know, Jackson,” I told him, and it was true. The comment earned me one of his cute smiles. Even though he tried to act tough, I knew Leila had wounded him. I vowed never to hurt him in that way
I felt hollow, but that empty feeling was too much to confront. So I went back to the book
She sat there holding her smooth legs to her chest, staring out the window, popping her gum, bored, and saying inconsequential things. But still . . . she was the center of the universe. She could make the whole world go around without even breaking a sweat
Maybe they’re lost. People get lost all the time, especially grown-ups. My dad is lost. That’s why he did this to me.” She looked confused. “Most of the time people who are lost don’t ever find their way back.”
“That’s really sad, Emmy.”
“Yeah. Such is life, my friend.
“I know, I hate it too, but I guess it’s like reading a good book. The kind where you don’t want to skip pages tosee what happens at the end. Each moment is a story in itself.
see what happens at the end. Each moment is a story in itself.
I don’t want to live in a storm drain, Jackson.”
“Not even with me?” He laughed.
“It’s not funny, and no, not even with you!”
“You won’t, and we won’t. Everything will be fine. You are too fucking smart, Em. Hell, I’m too fucking smart, and we work too fucking hard for this shitty life. It won’t happen.”
“Swear to me.” My voice was tiny.
“I swear on your life,” he said, and I believed him. “But right now I’m kidnapping you in some loser’s truck so I can hide you in my backyard. Let’s just hope we can get past this part. I don’t think colleges will look too fondly at a juvenile record
I was breathing hard as I lay the book on my chest, right over my throbbing heart. I remembered that moment when everything started crumbling down around us. There was nothing we could do; we were just a couple of powerless, poor kids, so desperate to find a way to be together . .
When we arrived at the end of the road, there was nothing. The houses had been torn down. All that was left were two concrete foundations and a couple of wooden beams. I was happy they were gone.
“Say good-bye, Emiline,” Sharon said. “Say good-bye to the horrible things that happened here.”
I cried and cried in Cyndi’s arms. Echoes of Jase were everywhere. I could see a twelve-year-old Jase as he stood on a rock with his arms in the air.Look at me, Em, I’m the king of the world! Andthere I was, a skinny mess of a kid with my arms crossed, laughing. Well, you’re no Leonardo DiCaprio, that’s for sure
We left Ohio and never spoke of my childhood again. Jase was long gone. I didn’t know where to look, and he hadn’t left me any clues, so I filed him away, like everything else. I thought I had gone back there to say good-bye to my mother and father and to find Jase, but none of those things happened. Instead, I saidgood-bye to Jase that day because he hadn’t come to find me like he said he would. It was the hardest thing I had ever done.
Flush it all away. Neeble and the monsters who live here, the stench of death, the drugs, the abuse, the blood and the bodies floating in the river, and all of the unloved children. Just flush it all away, god
He followed me all the way up the steps and to the door. I turned around and leaned against it and stared at him for a long time. He didn’t look away. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. I just knew I couldn’t let him go again.
“Jason?”
“Yeah?”
“I haven’t been able to say it yet, but I’m really proud of you. I’m really proud that the stuff that happened to us didn’t hold you back.”
“I’m proud of you too. I wish that you could see how amazing you are.”
“You think so?” I said, my face flooding with warmth.
“Yes, I do.”
In a way, that was all I could ask for.
“I’m angry, but I’m trying to get past it, Jase. I want you in my life—I know that now. But I’m still with Trevor.” I looked up at him as he inched closer
He was staring right into my eyes. “Swear that you love me and trust me,” he said.
I knew the feeling like my own name. “Jase . . .” I swallowed and then tears filled my eyes. “I swear to god on your life and my own that I love you and trust you.”
And that I’ll love you forever.
That was bigger than any promise I had ever made, but I knew it was true, even at fifteen
Daddies are supposed to protect their little girls. You know that, right?”
I felt a lump rising in my throat already. “Yes.”
“Men, daddies, boyfriends, husbands . . . they should never hurt a woman or a child, with their fists, words, or otherwise.”
I nodded, too choked up to say a wordHe looked up from our hands right into my eyes. “I’m so, so sorry, Emiline.” His face scrunched up. Suddenly, we both collapsed across the table. His body was a shaking mass of sobs—painful, body-jarring sobs that matched my own.
Pat left a stack of napkins next to my elbow and then went into the back, leaving us alone.
“I couldn’t forgive myself. I didn’t think I deserved your forgiveness,” he cried.
We held each other over the table until the tears subsided. “I didn’t think so either, but I need to forgive you. I’m ready to forgive you,” I told him
“Thank Jason for me. He might not know it, but I think he’s the reason you’re here with me now, and I’m grateful.”
I was surprised that my father was okay with all the dirty secrets being exposed in Jase’s book, but I realized that my father had learned something in his recovery that I still hadn’t totally grasped: the past would only fester and eat away at us if we tried to hold on to it too tightly
Neither of us spoke a word. The music told the sad story of the two kids on the dirt road with nothing but their books and each other
Why did he have to be sick? Why couldn’t Jackson have gone on and made a beautiful life for himself? I thought I was saving him when I called out to the police that night. I thought loving someone meant letting go, but by the time I learned that loving someone means fighting for them too, it was too late
As I walked to my car, I said good-bye to Emi, the girl who begrudgingly went to frat parties and football games; the girl who pretended like everything was always okay while unenthusiastically teaching Intro to Writing classes; the girl with no past; the girl who wasn’t real and didn’t exist.
Once I got back to my apartment, I sat down and started writing
We can’t always control our circumstances, who our parents are, where we live, or how much money we make, but in those rare moments when we can shape our fate, when we do have the power to make our own happiness, we can’t be too scared to do it
He and I watched every sunset together until he was gone. Five weeks after I first went to see him, he died in my arms.
I don’t know much about fate, but I know something brought me back there. Maybe I fought that force for too long, or maybe everything happened exactly the way it was supposed to.
The last words out of Jackson Fisher’s mouth as I held him were, “There once was a boy and a girl . . .”
The end.
For my Em. Don’t wait this long. Come let me love you
But in real life we have a hard time recognizing serendipitous moments because we’re not making the story up as we go along. It’s not a lie—it’s really happening to us, and we have no idea how it will end. Some of us will look back on our lives and recall events that were a bit too perfect, but until you know the whole story, it’s impossible to see the universe at work, or even admit that there is something bigger than us, making sure everything that should happen does happen. If you can surrender to the idea that there might be a plan, instead of reducing every magical moment to a coincidence, then love will find you. He found me
I felt all kinds of retorts bubbling inside of me. The only job offer you got was at San Diego State. You didn’t move here for me. I’m just the girl you’re passing time with. We both know it. Why else would you have a hard time saying I love you? Why else can’t I see our future
From the moment I read the second line in the first paragraph, my heart rate tripled. Instantly, I was sweating. By the end of the first page, I was almost hysterical
She’s pathetic, Em. I can’t hate her because I pity her too much.”
“You’re the smartest person I know, Jackson,” I told him, and it was true. The comment earned me one of his cute smiles. Even though he tried to act tough, I knew Leila had wounded him. I vowed never to hurt him in that way
I felt hollow, but that empty feeling was too much to confront. So I went back to the book
She sat there holding her smooth legs to her chest, staring out the window, popping her gum, bored, and saying inconsequential things. But still . . . she was the center of the universe. She could make the whole world go around without even breaking a sweat
Maybe they’re lost. People get lost all the time, especially grown-ups. My dad is lost. That’s why he did this to me.” She looked confused. “Most of the time people who are lost don’t ever find their way back.”
“That’s really sad, Emmy.”
“Yeah. Such is life, my friend.
“I know, I hate it too, but I guess it’s like reading a good book. The kind where you don’t want to skip pages tosee what happens at the end. Each moment is a story in itself.
see what happens at the end. Each moment is a story in itself.
I don’t want to live in a storm drain, Jackson.”
“Not even with me?” He laughed.
“It’s not funny, and no, not even with you!”
“You won’t, and we won’t. Everything will be fine. You are too fucking smart, Em. Hell, I’m too fucking smart, and we work too fucking hard for this shitty life. It won’t happen.”
“Swear to me.” My voice was tiny.
“I swear on your life,” he said, and I believed him. “But right now I’m kidnapping you in some loser’s truck so I can hide you in my backyard. Let’s just hope we can get past this part. I don’t think colleges will look too fondly at a juvenile record
I was breathing hard as I lay the book on my chest, right over my throbbing heart. I remembered that moment when everything started crumbling down around us. There was nothing we could do; we were just a couple of powerless, poor kids, so desperate to find a way to be together . .
When we arrived at the end of the road, there was nothing. The houses had been torn down. All that was left were two concrete foundations and a couple of wooden beams. I was happy they were gone.
“Say good-bye, Emiline,” Sharon said. “Say good-bye to the horrible things that happened here.”
I cried and cried in Cyndi’s arms. Echoes of Jase were everywhere. I could see a twelve-year-old Jase as he stood on a rock with his arms in the air.Look at me, Em, I’m the king of the world! Andthere I was, a skinny mess of a kid with my arms crossed, laughing. Well, you’re no Leonardo DiCaprio, that’s for sure
We left Ohio and never spoke of my childhood again. Jase was long gone. I didn’t know where to look, and he hadn’t left me any clues, so I filed him away, like everything else. I thought I had gone back there to say good-bye to my mother and father and to find Jase, but none of those things happened. Instead, I saidgood-bye to Jase that day because he hadn’t come to find me like he said he would. It was the hardest thing I had ever done.
Flush it all away. Neeble and the monsters who live here, the stench of death, the drugs, the abuse, the blood and the bodies floating in the river, and all of the unloved children. Just flush it all away, god
He followed me all the way up the steps and to the door. I turned around and leaned against it and stared at him for a long time. He didn’t look away. I didn’t know what to do or what to say. I just knew I couldn’t let him go again.
“Jason?”
“Yeah?”
“I haven’t been able to say it yet, but I’m really proud of you. I’m really proud that the stuff that happened to us didn’t hold you back.”
“I’m proud of you too. I wish that you could see how amazing you are.”
“You think so?” I said, my face flooding with warmth.
“Yes, I do.”
In a way, that was all I could ask for.
“I’m angry, but I’m trying to get past it, Jase. I want you in my life—I know that now. But I’m still with Trevor.” I looked up at him as he inched closer
He was staring right into my eyes. “Swear that you love me and trust me,” he said.
I knew the feeling like my own name. “Jase . . .” I swallowed and then tears filled my eyes. “I swear to god on your life and my own that I love you and trust you.”
And that I’ll love you forever.
That was bigger than any promise I had ever made, but I knew it was true, even at fifteen
Daddies are supposed to protect their little girls. You know that, right?”
I felt a lump rising in my throat already. “Yes.”
“Men, daddies, boyfriends, husbands . . . they should never hurt a woman or a child, with their fists, words, or otherwise.”
I nodded, too choked up to say a wordHe looked up from our hands right into my eyes. “I’m so, so sorry, Emiline.” His face scrunched up. Suddenly, we both collapsed across the table. His body was a shaking mass of sobs—painful, body-jarring sobs that matched my own.
Pat left a stack of napkins next to my elbow and then went into the back, leaving us alone.
“I couldn’t forgive myself. I didn’t think I deserved your forgiveness,” he cried.
We held each other over the table until the tears subsided. “I didn’t think so either, but I need to forgive you. I’m ready to forgive you,” I told him
“Thank Jason for me. He might not know it, but I think he’s the reason you’re here with me now, and I’m grateful.”
I was surprised that my father was okay with all the dirty secrets being exposed in Jase’s book, but I realized that my father had learned something in his recovery that I still hadn’t totally grasped: the past would only fester and eat away at us if we tried to hold on to it too tightly
Neither of us spoke a word. The music told the sad story of the two kids on the dirt road with nothing but their books and each other
Why did he have to be sick? Why couldn’t Jackson have gone on and made a beautiful life for himself? I thought I was saving him when I called out to the police that night. I thought loving someone meant letting go, but by the time I learned that loving someone means fighting for them too, it was too late
As I walked to my car, I said good-bye to Emi, the girl who begrudgingly went to frat parties and football games; the girl who pretended like everything was always okay while unenthusiastically teaching Intro to Writing classes; the girl with no past; the girl who wasn’t real and didn’t exist.
Once I got back to my apartment, I sat down and started writing
We can’t always control our circumstances, who our parents are, where we live, or how much money we make, but in those rare moments when we can shape our fate, when we do have the power to make our own happiness, we can’t be too scared to do it
He and I watched every sunset together until he was gone. Five weeks after I first went to see him, he died in my arms.
I don’t know much about fate, but I know something brought me back there. Maybe I fought that force for too long, or maybe everything happened exactly the way it was supposed to.
The last words out of Jackson Fisher’s mouth as I held him were, “There once was a boy and a girl . . .”
The end.
For my Em. Don’t wait this long. Come let me love you
I would honestly give this book a 4.5 because the beginning really drug on… but once I got into it, there was no putting it down.
4.5 Stars.
When I read the blurb for this book, I remember not being totally intrigued. I had actually rented in from the library before and decided to not read it and return it. However, after seeing this book pop up time and time again on my GoodReads I knew it was time to read it. I went to the library and picked it up for a second time.
I sat down on the couch and was immediately invested within the first chapter of the book. Swear on this life follows Emiline, who has hard a rough start to life, which she has tried to burry in her past. Emi has had dreams of being an author, but seems to be settled into a "safe" life with a boyfriend of 7 years, who she has no real connection with. When an author J. Colby comes out with a best seller, her roommate swears she needs to read the book. Upon reading the book she realizes J. Colby is actually Jason Colbertson, her childhood best friend and lover, and that this book is actually written based on her life.
The concept behind this book is extremely intriguing. The book switches between Emi's current life, and her reading the book by J. Colby titled All the Roads Between. Actual "excerpts" from All the Roads Between are in the book and you are reading that book while simultaneously learning about Emi's current life. J. Colby's book is a unique way of almost doing "flashbacks". All the Roads Between had me fucking hoooooked and Emi read it at the pace of a snail.
I feel like the reason this book wasn't a 5 star for me is because it didn't have the emotional intensity that I was hoping for. Yes, this book had some dark stuff, a lost love, and a road to redemption for multiple people. But there was definitely something missing for me. I would definitely recommend this book, though, because it was an amazing, unique read. Definitely will be picking up more by this author!
When I read the blurb for this book, I remember not being totally intrigued. I had actually rented in from the library before and decided to not read it and return it. However, after seeing this book pop up time and time again on my GoodReads I knew it was time to read it. I went to the library and picked it up for a second time.
I sat down on the couch and was immediately invested within the first chapter of the book. Swear on this life follows Emiline, who has hard a rough start to life, which she has tried to burry in her past. Emi has had dreams of being an author, but seems to be settled into a "safe" life with a boyfriend of 7 years, who she has no real connection with. When an author J. Colby comes out with a best seller, her roommate swears she needs to read the book. Upon reading the book she realizes J. Colby is actually Jason Colbertson, her childhood best friend and lover, and that this book is actually written based on her life.
The concept behind this book is extremely intriguing. The book switches between Emi's current life, and her reading the book by J. Colby titled All the Roads Between. Actual "excerpts" from All the Roads Between are in the book and you are reading that book while simultaneously learning about Emi's current life. J. Colby's book is a unique way of almost doing "flashbacks". All the Roads Between had me fucking hoooooked and Emi read it at the pace of a snail.
I feel like the reason this book wasn't a 5 star for me is because it didn't have the emotional intensity that I was hoping for. Yes, this book had some dark stuff, a lost love, and a road to redemption for multiple people. But there was definitely something missing for me. I would definitely recommend this book, though, because it was an amazing, unique read. Definitely will be picking up more by this author!
If I could rate just the first 18 chapters of this book, it would easily be 4.5 stars at least. However, the ending of the book in the final chapter was completely anticlimactic and the epilogue was pointless and dumb so I kind of finished the book on a sour note. I was reading on my kindle and didn’t realize I was almost done until I tapped to the epilogue and my immediate reaction was “Wait, that’s it??” I was disappointed because while I probably could have done without Trevor, I was completely enthralled by the rest of the book and literally couldn’t put it down. I am a sucker for a second chance love story and just felt the redemption in this one wasn’t worthy of the build up.
dnf @ 27% I might come back to this one day but for now the writing is just too bad for me to finish
Are you freaking kidding me with this book right now? GAH! I may be late to the game, but this is seriously such an underrated romance book. It’s perfection. Also as a huge Swiftie I was getting some ~Seven~ vibes. Which then took me down a full TikTok rabbit hole of the parallels to this book and Tay’s folklore song. Basically from what I’ve gathered from the booktokers, this is the book version of Seven, only adding to the appeal!!!!
Definitely predictable, but very readable and an enjoyable story overall.
Bro there was a point where I was crying so much I couldn’t even read LMAO but besides that, I loved this. Renée Carlino is one of my new fav authors. Her books never fail to make me FEEL something man
my only complaint is I wish there was a litttttle more BUT I HONESTLY RLLY LOVED THIS BOOK AAAHHH
my only complaint is I wish there was a litttttle more BUT I HONESTLY RLLY LOVED THIS BOOK AAAHHH