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4.2 AVERAGE
4.2 AVERAGE
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship
Moderate: Addiction, Pedophilia, Rape, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Gaslighting, Alcohol
Minor: Death of parent
I’ve been sitting on writing this review for a really long time at this point but I’ve been struggling to review it and express thoughts on it.
I listened to this on audio because I really didn’t think I’d get through it physically due to the topic and how hard the subject matter was. I thought the audiobook was very well done.
This was honestly SUCH a hard book with the topics of sexual assault, rape, grooming, etc. PLEASE look up the trigger warnings for this book if you’re considering reading it because it does not have an easy conversation.
It’s hard because you could see Vanessa be obsessed but at the same time her unconscious was telling her something was wrong but she didn’t want to admit it. Even when she was older and clouded a lot of it, there was so much going on. She grew up as she needed to with the help of therapy. Yes she hopefully still was doing a lot of therapy after this book too because holy moly.
I liked that we kept going between the timeline of it happening to her and when she was older. I thought that was very well done and worked very well for the story. I think the author did a really good job with it.
I listened to this on audio because I really didn’t think I’d get through it physically due to the topic and how hard the subject matter was. I thought the audiobook was very well done.
This was honestly SUCH a hard book with the topics of sexual assault, rape, grooming, etc. PLEASE look up the trigger warnings for this book if you’re considering reading it because it does not have an easy conversation.
It’s hard because you could see Vanessa be obsessed but at the same time her unconscious was telling her something was wrong but she didn’t want to admit it. Even when she was older and clouded a lot of it, there was so much going on. She grew up as she needed to with the help of therapy. Yes she hopefully still was doing a lot of therapy after this book too because holy moly.
I liked that we kept going between the timeline of it happening to her and when she was older. I thought that was very well done and worked very well for the story. I think the author did a really good job with it.
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
N/A
“I feel backed into a corner,” I say. “Like all of a sudden, not wanting to expose myself means I’m enabling rapists…”
The last and (possibly) best book I’ve read in 2020! It’s impossible to sum up all that I thought and felt while reading this, but here goes anyway:
Like most of the reviews here, I found that the abusive relationship between 15-year-old Vanessa Wye and her 42-year-old English teacher was effectively explored by the author. It is so powerful and thought-provoking, how largely contradictory our protagonist is to the pop culture representation of victims. When confronted with the topics of rape and abuse, even I admit to chiefly visualizing it so graphically—loud, painful, violent. This portrayal of victimhood and of women’s agency is challenged by the character of Vanessa. Is there space in the #MeToo movement for someone who claims to have wanted it—to have enjoyed it?
Then, one might say that maybe the book glorifies abuse, and indeed others found the abusive scenes “romanticized, eroticized”, but I think that to say so is to miss the point.
Lonely, 15-year-old Vanessa does romanticize the attention given to her, but the author makes clear her thought processes and her reasons for choosing to do so. Even through the haze of feeling “loved” by him, Vanessa is confronted with feelings of disgust and discomfort towards Strane:
I want to tell him that I’m tired, to roll over and never look at the thing ever again, but that would be selfish. He said me naked is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. It would be cruel for me to counter that with disgust. It doesn’t matter that my skin crawls from touching him. It doesn’t matter. It’s fine. He did that to you, now you do this to him. You can handle a few minutes of this.
Impactful even to the end. Because I do enjoy the public persecution abusers online, I wanted something similar from the book. Instead, Vanessa copes in a way that resonates—privately, slowly, quietly.
5/5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
dark
emotional
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
challenging
dark
reflective
sad
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
God was this book triggering as someone who was groomed at 15. But I’m so glad that I finished reading it.
4.5⭐️ dark and compelling, really great character development, great writing. I feel like I am going to be thinking of Vanessa for a while after this one
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
I read this book once, years ago, and when I was about fifteen, and I didn’t really like it. It didn’t stick with me. It felt strange in a way I couldn’t really articulate.
Now, as an adult, I can honestly say I appreciate this a lot more. This book is an expertly written piece of art that will tear your heart out of you. It demonstrates the deep scars abuse can leave with you, the way it makes you think about yourself, the complicity that can be caused by manipulation, even the reluctancy to admit you’re a victim out of fear that it will become all that you are. Vanessa is messy in a way that’s understandable, she hates being pitied in the way many of us do, she seems to want to be unsympathetic because she sees herself as undeserving of sympathy.
I can’t say I love this book, but I can say I’d recommend it. I think everyone should read it. It’s a masterpiece.
Now, as an adult, I can honestly say I appreciate this a lot more. This book is an expertly written piece of art that will tear your heart out of you. It demonstrates the deep scars abuse can leave with you, the way it makes you think about yourself, the complicity that can be caused by manipulation, even the reluctancy to admit you’re a victim out of fear that it will become all that you are. Vanessa is messy in a way that’s understandable, she hates being pitied in the way many of us do, she seems to want to be unsympathetic because she sees herself as undeserving of sympathy.
I can’t say I love this book, but I can say I’d recommend it. I think everyone should read it. It’s a masterpiece.