Scan barcode
careythesixth's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
I first came across this book in a library management support group I'm in on fb. Someone new to management was asking how to manage staff who were good at their jobs but difficult to work with because they'd been treated poorly by previous management. The advice giver suggested this book despite it being about romantic relationships. This book *does* have good advice that's applicable to all kinds of relationships. It deals in psychological safety, which is important in all aspects of life. I highly recommend this to anyone who's looking to become a better listener in any relationship.
But, not gonna lie - I read this for myself and my marriage. My husband also read it. This book is a game changer. Is it magic? No. Will reading it automatically save your relationship? Also, no. But this book is an honest look at the ways in which all of us are unprepared for long term romantic relationships. It's a brutally necessary discussion of what the work of marriage looks like. Fray tells hard truths, the one he keeps coming back to being: You can simultaneously be a good person and bad husband.
Yes, Fray does focus on the role of the husband. He talks about why in the book. If you're looking for both sides-ism, that's not what this book is and it isn't for you. Fray goes hard, but he does so from experience. If you're a husband, this book will make you uncomfortable and ask you to sit with that feel and work out why. As a wife, reading it has been cathartic. I'm not crazy, I'm not alone, and there is a path forward.
But, not gonna lie - I read this for myself and my marriage. My husband also read it. This book is a game changer. Is it magic? No. Will reading it automatically save your relationship? Also, no. But this book is an honest look at the ways in which all of us are unprepared for long term romantic relationships. It's a brutally necessary discussion of what the work of marriage looks like. Fray tells hard truths, the one he keeps coming back to being: You can simultaneously be a good person and bad husband.
Yes, Fray does focus on the role of the husband. He talks about why in the book. If you're looking for both sides-ism, that's not what this book is and it isn't for you. Fray goes hard, but he does so from experience. If you're a husband, this book will make you uncomfortable and ask you to sit with that feel and work out why. As a wife, reading it has been cathartic. I'm not crazy, I'm not alone, and there is a path forward.
c100's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
5.0
buttermellow's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, and Grief
electricbloomers's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
tlarsen's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
booklistqueen's review against another edition
3.0
Good people can be bad at relationships. Matthew Fray knows this first hand, after his article "She Divorced Me Because I left the Dishes by the Sink" went viral following his divorce. Now a relationship coach and blogger, Fray explains how good intentions can cause us to hurt our partners and shows how to break the cycle of dysfunction in your marriage.
This is How Your Marriage Ends spends most of the book repeating the same lesson over and over in as many ways as possible - by not having empathy, you unintentionally hurt your spouse and then invalidate their experience, breaking their trust and straining the relationship. Fray's book serves his target audience (good men who are bad husbands) well, beating them over the head with his central message. However, the constant repetition drove me crazy and Fray's sense of humor wasn't my style.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Harper Collins through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
This is How Your Marriage Ends spends most of the book repeating the same lesson over and over in as many ways as possible - by not having empathy, you unintentionally hurt your spouse and then invalidate their experience, breaking their trust and straining the relationship. Fray's book serves his target audience (good men who are bad husbands) well, beating them over the head with his central message. However, the constant repetition drove me crazy and Fray's sense of humor wasn't my style.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Harper Collins through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
More...