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dembury's review against another edition
5.0
More people need to read this book.
“What would my body look and feel like if I didn't have to mold it into both a shield and an ornament? How do I love a body that was never fully my own?”
“What would my body look and feel like if I didn't have to mold it into both a shield and an ornament? How do I love a body that was never fully my own?”
megtall's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
tense
medium-paced
4.0
aftaerglows's review against another edition
3.0
“[…] often the only way to capture someone’s attention and to encourage them to recognize their own internal biases (and to work to alter them) is to confront them with sensational stories of suffering. Why is my humanity only seen or cared about when I share the ways in which I have been victimized and violated?”
traingirl24's review against another edition
3.0
Ouf that was a rough listen. Would not recommend it if you’re feeling especially dysphoric cause there’s a lot of trauma and it’ll mess you up for a while. One day I’ll learn to not stoke the anxiety flames while spiralling, but apparently, today is not that day.
But if you are in a decent place, it’s a powerfully written essay. Speaking to the constant fear of basically everyone and everything when you are trans. How misogyny, transphobia, or violence can come from anyone, even in queer spaces that are supposed to be safe.
The bit about also being afraid of the ‘man’ you used to be was pretty poignant. When you’ve experienced the fear of transmisogyny, the thought that you could hurt someone else the same way and that you continue to strike that fear into others when presenting as male in public is unbearable. You can’t even retreat inside yourself to feel safe because you’re just as dangerous to be around.
I feel like the question that’s asked when you read things like this as a trans woman is how to move on and live life with these fears and dangers. It’s tempting to try to convince yourself that it couldn’t happen to you, that you’re just catastrophizing, but it’s not. There are real dangers out there and a lot of the world isn’t safe for trans people. I don’t have an answer, it’s probably more of a continual process than any one thing, acknowledging the dangers and taking steps to mitigate/avoid the worst while making space for joy in your life, but it is important work to do.
But if you are in a decent place, it’s a powerfully written essay. Speaking to the constant fear of basically everyone and everything when you are trans. How misogyny, transphobia, or violence can come from anyone, even in queer spaces that are supposed to be safe.
The bit about also being afraid of the ‘man’ you used to be was pretty poignant. When you’ve experienced the fear of transmisogyny, the thought that you could hurt someone else the same way and that you continue to strike that fear into others when presenting as male in public is unbearable. You can’t even retreat inside yourself to feel safe because you’re just as dangerous to be around.
I feel like the question that’s asked when you read things like this as a trans woman is how to move on and live life with these fears and dangers. It’s tempting to try to convince yourself that it couldn’t happen to you, that you’re just catastrophizing, but it’s not. There are real dangers out there and a lot of the world isn’t safe for trans people. I don’t have an answer, it’s probably more of a continual process than any one thing, acknowledging the dangers and taking steps to mitigate/avoid the worst while making space for joy in your life, but it is important work to do.
sinead_foxworthy's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
5.0
spodillas's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
3.5