Reviews tagging 'Torture'

There's No Way I'd Die First by Lisa Springer

18 reviews

haileyhardcover's review against another edition

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adventurous dark medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

I clearly didn’t enjoy this book much… BUT before I get into what I didn’t like, I want to mention what WAS good about it and that’s the criticism of the lack of positive Black representation the horror genre. From the setting of most Black horror films, the extra Z’s in titles, Black characters cast as the ”loyal sidekick” only there to sacrifice themself for the white lead, and the lack of a Black ”Final Girl” - racism is everywhere, and it’s blatant in horror. 

Also, a murderous clown who draws the line at misgendering someone he’s about to kill. 🤡 Talk, Valentina! 

No but really… Unfortunately, this was a really good premise and really disappointing execution. The writing isn’t great, none of the characters are likable, the layout of the setting is confusing, the ”twist” was obvious & unoriginal, and the addition of the romance felt forced and was completely unnecessary. 

The first quarter of the book is slow and instead of making me care about these kids who are about to be slaughtered, I just grew increasingly annoyed with them. No one deserves to be murdered, BUT… it’s hard to root for a bunch of rotten, entitled, mega rich kids and a final girl who’s obsessed with everyone at her party being rich and famous and name dropping all of the designer things she owns… If she mentioned the fucking Birkin one more time I was going to scream! Also, was THAT detail really necessary? IYKYK. 

Noelle repeats over and over AND OVER AND OVER that she’s got what it takes to be a Final Girl… but she repeatedly makes dumb choices that someone who has obsessively prepped for this kind of scenario (as she claims to have done) would never do. What kind of “there’s no way I’d die first,” final girl horror fanatic would ever make an entire group of drunk and high teenagers give up their phones to play hide and seek with a killer clown?! That detail ESPECIALLY made no sense considering she picked these specific people to attend her party because they’re all influencers with a large following and she wanted them to share things on their own socials so she could get more followers… 

I could go on, but suffice to say that, unfortunately, I do not recommend this book. If you want a great YA slasher with a Black female MC, I highly suggest You’re Not Supposed to Die Tonight instead! 

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joelles_bookshelf's review against another edition

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mysterious sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? No

1.5

I'm disappointed that I ended up not liking this book. The cover is gorgeous, the blurb hooked me in, and I was thrilled to have a Black female main character who seemed to be head-strong, but I ended up struggling getting through this book. 

 The build-up was slow, and I found myself wanting to skip chapters to get to the night of the party. I didn't feel majorly attached to any of the characters and forgot certain names because I knew so little about them before the party (I do wonder if I was, I'd feel more sympathy for them). While I wasn't rooting for their deaths, Noelle was particularly annoying with constantly wanting to be the final girl while her friends are being killed off one by one. Even her romance with Archer felt nonsensical because the first thing Scream teaches you is to not trust the love interest yet she's busy kissing him while a clown hunts then down.  

Noelle and her 'friends' are insufferable throughout the book (except Demario, Elise ad a few others who were done dirty) and when it was revealed why the clown was killing them all, I couldn't help but agree with the clown?? They are a bunch of rich kids who get away with anything. I get where Noelle was coming from with 'who decided you can be the judge, jury and executioner' but most if not all of those kids ran away from their problems or got their parents to sweep it under the rug. Gage as a villain confused me because how was he more or less the same age as everyone yet he had this crazy strength? I feel that including the fact that he was racist in the end felt like a last-ditch effort to give us a reason to not root for him because some of these kids were awful like
Kelsey, Josh, and that girl who left her friend paralyzed in London and that other girl who let the other girl go to juvie and get assaulted.

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ninabest's review against another edition

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dark tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A

2.0


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parasolcrafter's review against another edition

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dark emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

0.5

oh, this book was an ENTIRE mess. it was like a D-list indie horror movie as a novel in the worst possible way. oh my god.

the set-up is fairly standard and boring - a group of teenagers getting locked up inside a mansion with a crazed killer is hardly the most unique or interesting preface - which failed on every level of making it a good read.

first off: the characters are some of the most annoying, privileged brats you could ever meet, which is quite unfortunately the point of their characters. they are - with few exceptions - wholly unlikable; the scant few i liked were only the least annoying of the bunch, and the last remaining are characters we hardly met before they died so i dont have much of an opinion on them. everyone was also very, VERY one dimensional.

second: the killer, gage the clown. he was like an unholy mix of a demonic mary poppins (where did he continue to pull murder weapons from???) and a kind of god, capable of being everywhere and nowhere all at once. even with the 'twist' (i use that as lightly as possible as it was the most obvious part of the book) it didnt make his character make sense. like a killer clown is standard enough for bottom-of-the-barrel horror like this, but for him to be as omnipresent as he was is just ridiculous. the beginning and first few kills werent that far fetched - slicing and stabbing and using garden tools are all boring and predictable but make sense - but after that it just gets downright silly. like, how did he get a miniature horse into the house? how did he possibly have hundreds of mice at his disposal? he also somehow had bear traps? none of the later kills made any sense and truly took me out of the book; it was comical, and i know it wasnt meant to be. the neighbours death was also strange; he just had a bomb he could manage to somehow wire through the doorbell that would explode under her? sure. why the fuck not. not to mention the biometric padlocks he uses to close the doors...oh my god. things really were written to just be as absurd as possible with no real rhyme or reason: it was ridiculous to be ridiculous, not to be interesting.

third: the story, or lack thereof. i truly understand what the author was trying to get across, but my god did it fail. the main character, noelle, is one of the most useless protagonists in a horror book ive ever experienced. for someone who CONSTANTLY mentions how shes the ultimate 'Final Girl' she constantly fails at every turn (also, if you constantly need to say how good of a final girl you are, youre NOT as good as you are). like i understand she must be panicked and stressed beyond belief in this situation, but she fumbles so many situations in the end its pathetic. the end bit was especially bad, when she leaves a knife on the bookcase NEAR THE CLOWN??? at that point i mentally checked out and sped through the book as fast as i could; it was so, so horrible. the 'plot' was shoehorned so forcefully into the story that it was clear the author just had things she needed to say and she didnt care about working it into the story craftfully. i agree that the horror genre especially needs more diversity in its leads and a Black female lead was something i was really interested in reading, but this book failed on every front. its not a worthwhile addition to the genre it tried so hardly to emulate. its hardly horror - the mishandling of EVERYTHING by the characters is more stupidity than scary and the clown was, as i stated previously, ridiculous - and even its slasher elements are just shoddily written gore with a thin veil of a 'got'cha!' over it. noelle only stays alive because the author kept her alive, not because she did anything in the story to protect herself.

fourth: this story falls into the predicament of 'im not the killer, im BETTER than that trope'. like...please. by the end of the book, gage has killed nearly everyone in the house; it wouldnt be murder if anyone killed him, it would be self-defense. besides this:
NOELLE ENDS UP KILLING HIM ANYWAYS.
there were multiple options to have killed gage throughout the book (the one that sticks out is when they use his thumbprints on the locks to try and get out; they had a knife. it would have been SO EASY to kill him then and get out.) and they just...dont? like the alternative is that YOU die!

fifth: the killers reasoning is absolute and utter bullshit that holds no water. you mean to tell me he did all that because theyre rich and privileged??? it just seems as though the author couldnt get a good enough reason for this whole mess and picked the easiest one she could.

another thing: the motivation to not leave because it's 'raining and cold and they cold get hypothermia :(((' is just so flimsy of a reason. they were literally IN A MANSION. raid some closets, put on as many layers as you can handle, and leave. there is absolutely NO possible way the house was as locked down as it ended up being in the beginning; as is evidenced by the fact that they ended up outside more than once. it would have been hard, yes, but not impossible.

last nitpick: why were charlie and maddie introduced as dating, then later in the book only referred to as friends? i realize thats something thats very small in comparison to the rest of the story, but it baffled me. why isnt that something that was kept straight???

overall, dont waste your time on this book. its not worth it, at ALL.

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ghostlyprince's review against another edition

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dark reflective tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

1.0


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mothmania's review against another edition

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dark emotional funny mysterious tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes

3.5


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micah_thelibrarian's review against another edition

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adventurous dark emotional mysterious tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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haggisdragon's review against another edition

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adventurous dark mysterious tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.25


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lovelynovellas's review against another edition

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dark mysterious medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.0

As a gen z who uses gen z talk, I absolutely hated this. This book and characters are everything annoying with my generation and 2023.I love the horror genre so much and was excited to read this but nope. I may agree politically with topics in this book but I most definitely didn’t want it shoved down my throat in a slasher book. I’m all for the author including the misrepresentation of Black people in horror but the rest of the political stuff in here was irritating. I don’t want to read about NFTS, crypto and words like “snowflake”, “reverse racism”, “anti-facsits”, “anti-capitalism”, “climate change”, “liberals”, “leftist”.. I’m chronically online, I hear it daily. I’ll protest all day for these inequities but I wanted a slasher book to escape through, not have an author’s beliefs front and center. It was the equivalent to religious people trying to make you convert.

Why is this Leftist vs Liberals?? We’re on the same side. We participate at protest, we spread correct information and try to fight for equality, it made no sense. And omg the rich privilege was irritating. I guess I cannot read a book where every character is rich and privileged. These characters had no depth, were awful and not interesting. 

THE REVEAL WAS SHIT!!!! The twist and clown’s motives will have you ready to dnf. I want to spoil it so bad but I won’t. Everything besides the gore was disappointing. 

Tw: child death, murder, blood, gore, irritating teens

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slavic_bookworm's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional mysterious tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.0


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