Read this book. If you were that child that grew up watching television and reading to know how to have healthy relationships, this book is for you. If you like witty charming humans who can find the right few sentences that might make you cry in the best way, this book is for you. If you know that you want to find that great love, but you keep dating turds and only think that you’re worth turds because only turds come calling, THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU.

Erittäin raakaa ja paljasta puhetta yksinäisestä lapsuudesta ja siitä minkälaisia käyttäytymismalleja siitä aiheutuu koko elämään. Ei ole helppoa rakastaa itseään tai suoda itselleen mitään hyvää, jos kukaan ei ole koskaan tehnyt sitä sinulle.

Omasta taustastani johtuen olen erityisherkkä sille, että joku suhtautuu sympatialla ja empatialla omaan lapsuuden itseensä ja osoittaa tälle rakkautta, jota ei lapsena koskaan saanut. Tässä kirjassa sitä oli paljon ja näitä kohtia oli todella hankala kuunnella töihin mennessä täydessä metrossa.

Tästä samastumisesta huolimatta suhtauduin kirjaan kaksijakoisesti: rehellinen puhe lapsuudesta ja sen vaikutuksista oli todella hyvää, mutta Mooren huumorintaju ei oikein osunut yksiin kanssani (ainakaan näin ääneen luettuna), joten suuri osa siitä puolesta meni ohi.

Kuitenkin päällimmäiseksi jäi tunne siitä, että tällaiset itseään ja kokemuksiaan kohtaan armolliset kirjat ovat tärkeitä ja lukemisen arvoisia. Jos on ongelmia itsetunnon kanssa, kannattaa aina muistuttaa itseään siitä, että ansaitsee kaiken sen hyvän, minkä muutkin ihmiset.

in love w this book

I really enjoyed Lane's sense of humor and her perspective on her life, and I related to quite a bit more than I anticipated. I felt a bit like I was reading a journal and not necessarily a book, I felt like it could have been a little more edited and refined. For all that though, I felt like I was reading a conversation with a friend, and I hope she keeps us updated on her future.

I didn't finish this but marking the attempt and that I might return to it.
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hyzie's review

3.0
emotional slow-paced

Managed to be very real and honest and address some serious trauma while also being somehow quite uplifting
Lots of the analysis of life moments felt very relatable
Reading this book felt like a successful therapy session; it made me think about some tough stuff but at the end I felt inexplicably lighter and slightly more optimistic because, despite the novel of the book, you feel less alone in that moment and like it’s less of a burden in the moments after
emotional lighthearted reflective fast-paced

I liked this, but I will admit that I had a different idea of what the book would be about before I started reading it. I thought it would be about how to enjoy your own company, do things by yourself, etc. but this is most definitely a memoir. I haven't seen Tinder Live, but Lane's humor shines through in this book and there were some great insights, particularly about the experience of being bisexual. I also learned a lot about what it feels like to not have a family to go home to over the holidays, which made me think quite a bit about that. Now that I'm reflecting on the title more, I suppose it's meant to be about how Lane learned to survive being alone and having only herself to rely on, but it's iterated time and again that this was never what she wanted for her life, and she would do anything to have her situation be different. I wouldn't call it self-pitying, because I think that's a true experience that many of us don't fully understand, but I do think this book...wallows...a bit. I guess that's the point? It's only really towards the end that Lane starts to talk about how she has reached a sort of peace with being alone--and "stranger luck", which I love. This book is also interesting in that a lot of trauma is indicated in Lane's past, but she never goes into detail about any of it. But in a way, the whole book is about how this trauma shaped her entire life and existence into the world, as well as her relationships and attachment style (we could all benefit from knowing our attachment style!). I liked this book and I'm grateful that I read it, but I do feel there was something lacking.

3.5