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3.81 AVERAGE
3.81 AVERAGE
I read this book as soon as it came out but never wrote a review. I'm a huge friends fan and I love Chandler so I knew it was a must read for me. A heartbreakingly honest memoir. I knew he had drug and alcohol addictions but I didn't understand the depth until reading this. I was quite shocked to read that he was struggling so deeply while making millions of people laugh.
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
informative
sad
slow-paced
Reading this was a surreal experience. I started it before he died and finished it after. I appreciated his blunt honesty about his addictions and shortcomings but I wish he could have had a family, his one goal in life.
Reading Matthew Perry's memoir after his passing hits differently. Maybe this was his purpose.. to share his inner thoughts and struggles with the world before he passed on.. Nevertheless, it is a heartbreaking autobiography to read. His anecdotes about his addiction(s) and the constant fight within himself between rehab and relapse - all while starring on 'Friends' and various projects.. it felt genuine enough that I felt his desire to want to get better. In the end, he eventually lost his battle, but to me, this book is his greatest legacy.
dark
funny
reflective
sad
slow-paced
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Honest, vulnerable, dark, funny, all the feels. Exactly what I want an autobiography to be.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Drug abuse, Drug use, Medical trauma
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
Having grown up watching friends, I never knew the behind the scenes struggles Matthew Perry was going through, but this book? Man this book broke me.
To read his story was both heartbreaking yet moving and I’m so sad he never got his happy ending after how hard he fought to get clean once and for all.
To read his story was both heartbreaking yet moving and I’m so sad he never got his happy ending after how hard he fought to get clean once and for all.
DNF - after reading quite a lot. I kept hoping it would get better. It did not.
My thoughts, not in any order.
1. Matthew Perry seems as if he was honest about his personal struggles and demons (I can never know as I wasn't there), and for that I give him credit. I've thankfully never been close enough to an addict to be aware of their struggles, so I can't know how much this book might help someone, but I can see how it might.
2. The writing is quite bad.
3. Matthew Perry seems, unfortunately, to lack emotional maturity and self-awareness.
4. Some people have said Perry takes no responsibility for his actions and poor behaviours, and blames everyone else and the world. He does blame others liberally, but I'm not sure the statement is wholly true. He does apologise for some of what he's done. But those apologies seem to come from a man who lacks self-awareness and emotional maturity, so they sound hollow. Not lacking in being genuine - it feels Perry did believe he made poor choices, did wrong, hurt people and felt bad about it - at least when he thinks about it. But it's all superficial. He never learned from his poor behaviour, so he seems doomed to repeat it. Which makes his apology hollow, that is, when he's not actively working to be better the next time.
4a. Also, I don't get the feeling he truly understands how hurtful his behaviour was towards some people, especially women. His apologies aren't enough for the damage he probably caused, because he's not done the work to even notice the extent of the damage, let alone provide a truly meaningful apology. Making amends isn't even a thought that seems to ever cross his mind. But it doesn't feel like a non-apology apology where the person making it doesn't feel like they've done anything wrong, but more an apology where the person knows they were wrong but is too afraid to examine their behaviour because they might hate themselves for it. Or maybe he does know, and this is a way to avoid censure.
5. Perry is horrible to many, many women. The way he talks about them makes me cringe. They seem to be objects to him, not people. My heart broke for his girlfriend Jamie Tarses when he dumped her the moment he got sober so he could sleep with loads of other women after she'd supported him through 2 years of addiction and then months of rehab. He talks about her as wonderful, magical, an 'angel', as well as how awful he was to her. But the regret seems surface level, maybe because of a lack of emotional maturity? Or an inability to feel anything deeply?
6. He has huge privilege and no conception of it.
There are so many other things that could be said about this book,, but I'll stop there.
My thoughts, not in any order.
1. Matthew Perry seems as if he was honest about his personal struggles and demons (I can never know as I wasn't there), and for that I give him credit. I've thankfully never been close enough to an addict to be aware of their struggles, so I can't know how much this book might help someone, but I can see how it might.
2. The writing is quite bad.
3. Matthew Perry seems, unfortunately, to lack emotional maturity and self-awareness.
4. Some people have said Perry takes no responsibility for his actions and poor behaviours, and blames everyone else and the world. He does blame others liberally, but I'm not sure the statement is wholly true. He does apologise for some of what he's done. But those apologies seem to come from a man who lacks self-awareness and emotional maturity, so they sound hollow. Not lacking in being genuine - it feels Perry did believe he made poor choices, did wrong, hurt people and felt bad about it - at least when he thinks about it. But it's all superficial. He never learned from his poor behaviour, so he seems doomed to repeat it. Which makes his apology hollow, that is, when he's not actively working to be better the next time.
4a. Also, I don't get the feeling he truly understands how hurtful his behaviour was towards some people, especially women. His apologies aren't enough for the damage he probably caused, because he's not done the work to even notice the extent of the damage, let alone provide a truly meaningful apology. Making amends isn't even a thought that seems to ever cross his mind. But it doesn't feel like a non-apology apology where the person making it doesn't feel like they've done anything wrong, but more an apology where the person knows they were wrong but is too afraid to examine their behaviour because they might hate themselves for it. Or maybe he does know, and this is a way to avoid censure.
5. Perry is horrible to many, many women. The way he talks about them makes me cringe. They seem to be objects to him, not people. My heart broke for his girlfriend Jamie Tarses when he dumped her the moment he got sober so he could sleep with loads of other women after she'd supported him through 2 years of addiction and then months of rehab. He talks about her as wonderful, magical, an 'angel', as well as how awful he was to her. But the regret seems surface level, maybe because of a lack of emotional maturity? Or an inability to feel anything deeply?
6. He has huge privilege and no conception of it.
There are so many other things that could be said about this book,, but I'll stop there.