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3.56 AVERAGE
3.56 AVERAGE
The input is great and interesting. A lot of common traits were pointed out and I saw it in my every day life. However, I can't help to question who she studied: I've seen a video regarding this book and the samples of communication shown were all of what seemed to be middle-class, white relationships. Not only that, but even though I've seen patterns in my life that support Tannen, I also see examples that deny it.
I do still love this book and her take on gender and communication; I just advise those who take her words to heart to always remember there are EXCEPTIONS. Forever and always.
I do still love this book and her take on gender and communication; I just advise those who take her words to heart to always remember there are EXCEPTIONS. Forever and always.
informative
medium-paced
challenging
informative
medium-paced
informative
fast-paced
"Once people realize that their partners have different conversaonal styles, they are inclined to accept differences without blaming themselves, their partners, or their relaonships. The biggest mistake is believing there is one right way to listen, to talk, to have a conversation—or a relaonship. Nothing hurts more than being told your intentions are bad when you know they are good, or being told you are doing something wrong when you know you’re just doing it your way."
I keep thinking I'll come back and finish reading this, but let's be honest it's been three years now and it's time to write the review and take this to Second and Charles.
This is not a bad book, it's just not useful for me. Maybe for somebody who's just discovered the concept of gender roles, this could be prescriptive but basically what they'll learn is 'this is what society tries to cultivate in men and women as it manifests in communication'. Have you heard "Men communicate to solve problems, women communicate to establish empathy"? Then you can probably give this book a pass.
This is not a bad book, it's just not useful for me. Maybe for somebody who's just discovered the concept of gender roles, this could be prescriptive but basically what they'll learn is 'this is what society tries to cultivate in men and women as it manifests in communication'. Have you heard "Men communicate to solve problems, women communicate to establish empathy"? Then you can probably give this book a pass.
Thoughtful but overly broad theories; Tannen tends to rely on anecdotes and fictional examples, and doesn't do a thorough job of explaining the research she discusses. This book is now 25 years old, and I think it would benefit from an update - contemporary popular science/relationship books seem more willing to directly engage in discussion of research. Essentially, I recognized many of the patterns Tannen describes, but they are not always gendered as she describes them.
I read this a long time ago and was reminded of it when one of my friends rated "Women are from venus; Men are from mars". I haven't read that one but I suspect I know what it is in it since I have had a lot of psychology books. I found this book much more useful as it gave example of speech by women and by men and pointed out how the phrasing can cause a misunderstanding. I found it very useful in everyday conversations and in relationship discussions (read fights). It doesn't say that there is a fix to all of these misunderstanding but if we try and phrase things differently instead of saying the same thing over and over, perhaps we can understand what each other is saying.
Of course, it is a touchy feeling book instead of a research paper so read accordingly.
Of course, it is a touchy feeling book instead of a research paper so read accordingly.
This is one of the most helpful books I have read! It explains the essential difference between communication styles of males and females. While reading it may not change my style, it will certainly come to mind next time I feel not listened to, belittled or manipulated. Fascinating stuff!