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clairebartholomew549's review
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I read this book in one sitting and found it incredibly compelling. Jenna, Kees, and Malak are easy to root for from the very beginning, and their reckoning with growing up and who they want to be feels very relatable and interesting. I adore books that talk about female friendship and how we support each other through huge life things, and every character's inner life felt vivid and detailed. I found myself absorbed and moved by this book, and the ending hit every note perfectly.
One thing that I find problematic, though - which other reviewers have extrapolated on far more eloquently than I will - was that the white love interests are depicted as "good feminists," while the Arab Muslim love interests are depicted as misogynistic, controlling, abusive, and all around awful men. Obviously everyone has their own experiences, and if that is the author's experience then I don't want to judge that or argue it is wrong. But I do think it's worth interrogating that juxtaposition, and the idea that every Muslim man - or at least most - are sexist and demeaning to their partners and writ large, especially given the raft of Islamophobia in the West and the persistent stereotypes about Muslim men and Muslim relationships. There are certainly many Muslim men who are not domineering and possessive; there are certainly many Muslim women who do not chafe at the societal and family expectations placed upon them (and we all have societal and family expectations thrust upon us, regardless of our religion, ethnicity, or nationality); and there are certainly Muslim families who do not subscribe to the mentality of the families in this book. It's not that I don't think narratives like this are meaningful - they are incredibly meaningful, and I get so much out of them. But there are a lot of books about chafing against Muslim expectations (as there are of chafing against any religion or culture, of course), and I wonder if that's a monolithic experience. Again, I am not Muslim, so I am not at all an authority on this - just wanted to name it.
One thing that I find problematic, though - which other reviewers have extrapolated on far more eloquently than I will - was that the white love interests are depicted as "good feminists," while the Arab Muslim love interests are depicted as misogynistic, controlling, abusive, and all around awful men. Obviously everyone has their own experiences, and if that is the author's experience then I don't want to judge that or argue it is wrong. But I do think it's worth interrogating that juxtaposition, and the idea that every Muslim man - or at least most - are sexist and demeaning to their partners and writ large, especially given the raft of Islamophobia in the West and the persistent stereotypes about Muslim men and Muslim relationships. There are certainly many Muslim men who are not domineering and possessive; there are certainly many Muslim women who do not chafe at the societal and family expectations placed upon them (and we all have societal and family expectations thrust upon us, regardless of our religion, ethnicity, or nationality); and there are certainly Muslim families who do not subscribe to the mentality of the families in this book. It's not that I don't think narratives like this are meaningful - they are incredibly meaningful, and I get so much out of them. But there are a lot of books about chafing against Muslim expectations (as there are of chafing against any religion or culture, of course), and I wonder if that's a monolithic experience. Again, I am not Muslim, so I am not at all an authority on this - just wanted to name it.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Toxic relationship, Violence, Misogyny, Gaslighting, Islamophobia, Pregnancy, Body shaming, Emotional abuse, Abortion, Alcohol, Physical abuse, Sexism, Classism, and Domestic abuse
katrinarose's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
This was such a nuanced heartfelt book about friendship, family, religion, and finding yourself. I think this book has excellent representation for Muslim women diaspora and would hit extra hard for these readers. I really liked all the characters, they were all unique and well developed. However for a book sold on female friendship, it was disappointing that the majority of the book they were not friends. I understand that drove home the point of the book in the end and it was really impactful, but I missed the friendship. Also, this book was so sad; I almost cried several times. Overall would recommend if you like sad books with these themes.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Religious bigotry, Toxic relationship, Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Rape, Sexism, Abortion, and Physical abuse
Moderate: Eating disorder, Grief, Alcohol, Medical content, Misogyny, War, and Violence
Minor: Injury/Injury detail, Body shaming, Vomit, and Classism
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