Reviews tagging 'Emotional abuse'

These Impossible Things by Salma El-Wardany

30 reviews

anniesher23's review

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emotional funny medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

2.0

I really wanted to like this one. I love the idea of a book about 20-something female friendships, which is how this was marketed. The overall message was definitely how important female friendships are, but you don’t actually see the characters’ friendships for the vast majority of the book. 

All of this could be okay, but the writing was just really not good. The dialogue felt like watching a bad teen Netflix drama and the prose could get cringey as well. 

There were parts of the story/certain relationships that I really loved, but I wanted more from the author even in those parts. 

Finally, I didn’t love how men were depicted generally. It’s not my place to criticize how an Arab woman depicts Arab men. It made me a bit uncomfortable that all the Arab men were various levels of shitty people, but I recognize it’s the author’s choice to depict misogyny in her own culture and that’s completely fair. But then why were the white men SO GREAT? Go ahead and write a story where one of the themes is misogyny in your own culture, but why pretend it doesn’t exist in others? It felt very unbalanced and unrealistic. 

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jillaay_h's review

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challenging dark emotional hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0


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clairebartholomew549's review

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challenging dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I read this book in one sitting and found it incredibly compelling. Jenna, Kees, and Malak are easy to root for from the very beginning, and their reckoning with growing up and who they want to be feels very relatable and interesting. I adore books that talk about female friendship and how we support each other through huge life things, and every character's inner life felt vivid and detailed. I found myself absorbed and moved by this book, and the ending hit every note perfectly.

One thing that I find problematic, though - which other reviewers have extrapolated on far more eloquently than I will - was that the white love interests are depicted as "good feminists," while the Arab Muslim love interests are depicted as misogynistic, controlling, abusive, and all around awful men. Obviously everyone has their own experiences, and if that is the author's experience then I don't want to judge that or argue it is wrong. But I do think it's worth interrogating that juxtaposition, and the idea that every Muslim man - or at least most - are sexist and demeaning to their partners and writ large, especially given the raft of Islamophobia in the West and the persistent stereotypes about Muslim men and Muslim relationships. There are certainly many Muslim men who are not domineering and possessive; there are certainly many Muslim women who do not chafe at the societal and family expectations placed upon them (and we all have societal and family expectations thrust upon us, regardless of our religion, ethnicity, or nationality); and there are certainly Muslim families who do not subscribe to the mentality of the families in this book. It's not that I don't think narratives like this are meaningful - they are incredibly meaningful, and I get so much out of them. But there are a lot of books about chafing against Muslim expectations (as there are of chafing against any religion or culture, of course), and I wonder if that's a monolithic experience. Again, I am not Muslim, so I am not at all an authority on this - just wanted to name it.

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amarachireadss's review against another edition

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4.25

This was a beautiful, emotional 
, hopeful and sometimes hard to read book about friendships, family, love, faith and culture. This book is not perfect and it was in the 3rd person but it made me cry so it’s getting rounded up to a 5⭐️. There are 3 POVs and it follows Malak, Biliquis and Jenna who are best friends and Muslims in their life journeys and relationships. 
Malak and Biliquis both are dating white non Muslim men and it was very interesting to see how they both went about that and how their families reacted to that. Jenna is struggling with loneliness and living up to cultural expectations of a non married woman and how people in the community viewed her. 

It was heartbreaking to read some parts and I felt bad especially about the bad relationship one of the characters ended up in and with events that happened to other characters. Overall I really liked it and I think it’s a story that showed the different relationships these characters had with being Muslim and how it impacted their relationship with family and friends. 

TW: rape, abusive relationship

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znvisser's review against another edition

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emotional reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.75

My expectations for this were high based on the ratings and that is always a tricky challenge to make true. For me, this novel consisted of two parts and the second half was definitely better. 

The book starts out quite dialogue-heavy and at times it even felt like five year old twitter discourse in a novel. And - despite the obvious reasons for it which were in fact interesting and well-thought out - I felt Malak and Kees were too similar for too long (kept forgetting which details and man belonged to which woman) and their boyfriends were even harder to distinguish; in contrast, Jenna’s character stood out way more from the start, despite her more limited “screentime”. But while Malak and Kees’ stories do bounce off each other and dance together, Jenna is fairly seperated from them and mostly appearing as vehicle for some extra themes and subplots. Later on she is worked better into the overall story, but it still felt slightly disjointed and I feel she could’ve added more to this if the author were less busy drawing parallels. 

Nevertheless, emotionally it picks up in the second half and that is where this story shines all along: the fights are often unhinged and always heartbreaking, and although mostly shown in glimpses, I loved the sibling relationships, and also the little pieces within chapters where we zoom out from the three friends and an omniscient narrator reveals a new emotional layer. Because of these strengths, this really was a a promising debut, making me curious to see what El-Wardany will come up with next.

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csleeds's review

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adventurous dark emotional sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5


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leah_alexandra's review

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emotional reflective sad fast-paced

3.0

This was a really frustrating read. I feel like it was sold as a book about female friendships, when it’s really more about romantic relationships, and abusive ones at that. The rift happens so early—we barely get time with the actual friendship, so it was hard to feel invested. And then the reconciliation at the end was so rushed and dramatic. There was hardly any emotional work put in to repair the friendship. To me it felt unrealistic. And the direct contrasting between the Muslim, non-white men being misogynistic and harmful, and the white men being perfect, gentle, and understanding was tough to read. At least the three girls’ fathers seemed like caring men—where were those traits in the younger men? My favorite parts were the descriptions of Cairo. That’s where I saw the author’s voice shine the most. 

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serendipitysbooks's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

 These Impossible Things looks at three British Muslim women from different ethnic backgrounds - Pakistani, Egyptian and Palestinian. Early on in the novel their friendship fractures and most of the book is spent with them individually dealing with various personal and relationship issues, until a crisis brings them together again. While I enjoyed my reading experience and found each woman’s story arc interesting if often heavy - rape, domestic abuse, unwanted pregnancy and the challenges of interfaith relationships - one major thing bothered me. The Muslim men were virtually all portrayed in a negative light - abusive, controlling, judgemental - while the white men were all very liberal, progressive, socially aware and - for want of a better term - woke. While I can partially understand why the book was written this way I wish there had been a little more balance and nuance - a white male exhibiting sexism, racism or Islamophobia; a Muslim man supporting his female friends or family by standing up to those who tried to restrict them. 

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neinselen's review

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challenging dark emotional hopeful sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25


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jasmijn's review

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emotional medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5


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