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anniesher23's review
emotional
funny
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.0
I really wanted to like this one. I love the idea of a book about 20-something female friendships, which is how this was marketed. The overall message was definitely how important female friendships are, but you don’t actually see the characters’ friendships for the vast majority of the book.
All of this could be okay, but the writing was just really not good. The dialogue felt like watching a bad teen Netflix drama and the prose could get cringey as well.
There were parts of the story/certain relationships that I really loved, but I wanted more from the author even in those parts.
Finally, I didn’t love how men were depicted generally. It’s not my place to criticize how an Arab woman depicts Arab men. It made me a bit uncomfortable that all the Arab men were various levels of shitty people, but I recognize it’s the author’s choice to depict misogyny in her own culture and that’s completely fair. But then why were the white men SO GREAT? Go ahead and write a story where one of the themes is misogyny in your own culture, but why pretend it doesn’t exist in others? It felt very unbalanced and unrealistic.
All of this could be okay, but the writing was just really not good. The dialogue felt like watching a bad teen Netflix drama and the prose could get cringey as well.
There were parts of the story/certain relationships that I really loved, but I wanted more from the author even in those parts.
Finally, I didn’t love how men were depicted generally. It’s not my place to criticize how an Arab woman depicts Arab men. It made me a bit uncomfortable that all the Arab men were various levels of shitty people, but I recognize it’s the author’s choice to depict misogyny in her own culture and that’s completely fair. But then why were the white men SO GREAT? Go ahead and write a story where one of the themes is misogyny in your own culture, but why pretend it doesn’t exist in others? It felt very unbalanced and unrealistic.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Abandonment, Abortion, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Rape
mariachiara's review
emotional
reflective
fast-paced
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic relationship
Minor: Rape and Abortion
jillaay_h's review
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence, Grief, Toxic relationship, Gaslighting, Abortion, Domestic abuse, Body shaming, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Religious bigotry, and Sexism
clairebartholomew549's review
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I read this book in one sitting and found it incredibly compelling. Jenna, Kees, and Malak are easy to root for from the very beginning, and their reckoning with growing up and who they want to be feels very relatable and interesting. I adore books that talk about female friendship and how we support each other through huge life things, and every character's inner life felt vivid and detailed. I found myself absorbed and moved by this book, and the ending hit every note perfectly.
One thing that I find problematic, though - which other reviewers have extrapolated on far more eloquently than I will - was that the white love interests are depicted as "good feminists," while the Arab Muslim love interests are depicted as misogynistic, controlling, abusive, and all around awful men. Obviously everyone has their own experiences, and if that is the author's experience then I don't want to judge that or argue it is wrong. But I do think it's worth interrogating that juxtaposition, and the idea that every Muslim man - or at least most - are sexist and demeaning to their partners and writ large, especially given the raft of Islamophobia in the West and the persistent stereotypes about Muslim men and Muslim relationships. There are certainly many Muslim men who are not domineering and possessive; there are certainly many Muslim women who do not chafe at the societal and family expectations placed upon them (and we all have societal and family expectations thrust upon us, regardless of our religion, ethnicity, or nationality); and there are certainly Muslim families who do not subscribe to the mentality of the families in this book. It's not that I don't think narratives like this are meaningful - they are incredibly meaningful, and I get so much out of them. But there are a lot of books about chafing against Muslim expectations (as there are of chafing against any religion or culture, of course), and I wonder if that's a monolithic experience. Again, I am not Muslim, so I am not at all an authority on this - just wanted to name it.
One thing that I find problematic, though - which other reviewers have extrapolated on far more eloquently than I will - was that the white love interests are depicted as "good feminists," while the Arab Muslim love interests are depicted as misogynistic, controlling, abusive, and all around awful men. Obviously everyone has their own experiences, and if that is the author's experience then I don't want to judge that or argue it is wrong. But I do think it's worth interrogating that juxtaposition, and the idea that every Muslim man - or at least most - are sexist and demeaning to their partners and writ large, especially given the raft of Islamophobia in the West and the persistent stereotypes about Muslim men and Muslim relationships. There are certainly many Muslim men who are not domineering and possessive; there are certainly many Muslim women who do not chafe at the societal and family expectations placed upon them (and we all have societal and family expectations thrust upon us, regardless of our religion, ethnicity, or nationality); and there are certainly Muslim families who do not subscribe to the mentality of the families in this book. It's not that I don't think narratives like this are meaningful - they are incredibly meaningful, and I get so much out of them. But there are a lot of books about chafing against Muslim expectations (as there are of chafing against any religion or culture, of course), and I wonder if that's a monolithic experience. Again, I am not Muslim, so I am not at all an authority on this - just wanted to name it.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Toxic relationship, Violence, Misogyny, Gaslighting, Islamophobia, Pregnancy, Body shaming, Emotional abuse, Abortion, Alcohol, Physical abuse, Sexism, Classism, and Domestic abuse
kitwhelan's review
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
Such an intense read. It sucked me in and I was having a fabulous time, then the middle hits and the book just pulverizes you. I read the whole thing in 2 days and cared deeply about these three women, and I have the emotional hangover to show for it. It's a beautiful and heartbreaking book about friendship.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic relationship, Domestic abuse, and Rape
znvisser's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
My expectations for this were high based on the ratings and that is always a tricky challenge to make true. For me, this novel consisted of two parts and the second half was definitely better.
The book starts out quite dialogue-heavy and at times it even felt like five year old twitter discourse in a novel. And - despite the obvious reasons for it which were in fact interesting and well-thought out - I felt Malak and Kees were too similar for too long (kept forgetting which details and man belonged to which woman) and their boyfriends were even harder to distinguish; in contrast, Jenna’s character stood out way more from the start, despite her more limited “screentime”. But while Malak and Kees’ stories do bounce off each other and dance together, Jenna is fairly seperated from them and mostly appearing as vehicle for some extra themes and subplots. Later on she is worked better into the overall story, but it still felt slightly disjointed and I feel she could’ve added more to this if the author were less busy drawing parallels.
Nevertheless, emotionally it picks up in the second half and that is where this story shines all along: the fights are often unhinged and always heartbreaking, and although mostly shown in glimpses, I loved the sibling relationships, and also the little pieces within chapters where we zoom out from the three friends and an omniscient narrator reveals a new emotional layer. Because of these strengths, this really was a a promising debut, making me curious to see what El-Wardany will come up with next.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Grief, Abandonment, Physical abuse, Rape, Gaslighting, Toxic relationship, Violence, and Abortion
Moderate: Alcohol, Pregnancy, and Sexual content
Minor: Islamophobia
leah_alexandra's review
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
3.0
This was a really frustrating read. I feel like it was sold as a book about female friendships, when it’s really more about romantic relationships, and abusive ones at that. The rift happens so early—we barely get time with the actual friendship, so it was hard to feel invested. And then the reconciliation at the end was so rushed and dramatic. There was hardly any emotional work put in to repair the friendship. To me it felt unrealistic. And the direct contrasting between the Muslim, non-white men being misogynistic and harmful, and the white men being perfect, gentle, and understanding was tough to read. At least the three girls’ fathers seemed like caring men—where were those traits in the younger men? My favorite parts were the descriptions of Cairo. That’s where I saw the author’s voice shine the most.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Abortion, Rape, Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, and Emotional abuse
pipbiz's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse
Moderate: Abortion, Rape, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Islamophobia
neinselen's review
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape, Physical abuse, Misogyny, Religious bigotry, Grief, Emotional abuse, Domestic abuse, Abortion, Xenophobia, Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Sexism, Suicidal thoughts, Islamophobia, and Gaslighting
katrinarose's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
This was such a nuanced heartfelt book about friendship, family, religion, and finding yourself. I think this book has excellent representation for Muslim women diaspora and would hit extra hard for these readers. I really liked all the characters, they were all unique and well developed. However for a book sold on female friendship, it was disappointing that the majority of the book they were not friends. I understand that drove home the point of the book in the end and it was really impactful, but I missed the friendship. Also, this book was so sad; I almost cried several times. Overall would recommend if you like sad books with these themes.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Religious bigotry, Toxic relationship, Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Rape, Sexism, Abortion, and Physical abuse
Moderate: Eating disorder, Grief, Alcohol, Medical content, Misogyny, War, and Violence
Minor: Injury/Injury detail, Body shaming, Vomit, and Classism