Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

Barndom. Ungdom. Gift by Tove Ditlevsen

21 reviews

m_sotos's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional medium-paced

3.5

It is strange that in reading a memoir, I was left at the end with a very vague/incomplete sense of who the author and subject actually was. I read a review of the memoir that speaks about how Ditlevsen splits one person into two selves in the text: the self who writes and the one who exists in reality, and yet she’s unable to ever quite integrate those two selves. I think that’s a perfect summary of how reading this book feels. Despite being led through Ditlevsen’s reality from childhood to adulthood, I never really felt that I understood her own role in that reality. The brisk narration of big life events makes it seem as though she herself isn’t ever really experiencing anything to the fullest. Her life trajectory jumps from marriage to marriage quickly, just as it jumps around between various jobs, living situations, and friendships seemingly undifferentiatingly. Despite this, she’s clearly not a fully passive participant in her life (as we see also through the myriad of ways she takes charge of obtaining different drugs to uphold her opioid addiction). It’s a strange balance between Ditlevsen as the narrator controlling the presentation of her life retrospectively and seeming to pass through these same life events relatively unfeelingly as they happen. While I think the clipped, straightforward narration produces an interesting effect and (likely intentionally) speaks to the dulling impact of a perpetually unsatisfied existence, I ultimately prefer a bit more feeling for my own reading enjoyment!

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abortion, Addiction, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Adult/minor relationship and War

lghrndn's review against another edition

dark emotional funny reflective sad slow-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abortion, Drug abuse, Drug use, Toxic relationship, and Addiction

Moderate: Infidelity, Mental illness, Domestic abuse, and Medical content

Minor: Pregnancy, Adult/minor relationship, and Cancer

lmshearer's review against another edition

dark emotional informative reflective sad medium-paced

3.0

A sad, dark collection of memoirs by the Danish poet Tove Ditlevsen. Check the CW below as the story has a lot of possible triggering elements.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Drug abuse, and Drug use

Moderate: Toxic relationship, Alcoholism, Abortion, Suicidal thoughts, and Suicide attempt

samarakroeger's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Drug abuse, Mental illness, Abortion, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Infidelity, Misogyny, Pregnancy, Suicidal thoughts, and Toxic relationship

lhulmes19's review against another edition

dark emotional sad medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abortion, Drug abuse, Addiction, Infidelity, Mental illness, Misogyny, Sexual harassment, and Toxic relationship

dominicangirl's review against another edition

hopeful informative sad medium-paced

4.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Toxic relationship, Infertility, Drug abuse, and Addiction

Moderate: Death, Sexual harassment, and Cancer

Minor: War, Abortion, and Alcoholism

emilycm's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

5.0

with this being my introduction to ditlevsen's writing and life, i am certainly going to explore more of her other work now extensively. there's something so captivating about this set of memoirs, split into three appropriate sections, and i have so many words of how i feel about it. ditlevsen writes with a raw, unapologetic nature that's rough around the edges, but tender and vulnerable in the center. the feeling of this escalates by the third act, dependency, and i felt that everything was just spilling off the page, as if i was in the room watching this woman's life unfold; it's remarkably heartbreaking and beautiful all at once, and i am entirely enamored with her perspective and thought on these experiences she dealt with. there's beauty, pain, and the authentic experience of broken pieces of a life desperately trying to come together written so hauntingly. read this; it will change you.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abortion, Addiction, Infidelity, Medical content, Toxic relationship, and Medical trauma

okarenhelena's review against another edition

dark emotional funny inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

4.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abortion, Addiction, Drug abuse, and Drug use

Moderate: Toxic relationship, Toxic friendship, Cancer, and Eating disorder

Minor: Mental illness, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Infidelity, War, Abandonment, Self harm, Pregnancy, Misogyny, Medical content, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Antisemitism, Chronic illness, Medical trauma, Classism, and Vomit

beatrizstg's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

5.0

wow. what a journey this book has led me into.

Tove's life is incredibly sad and fascinating, her childhood, the loneliness, the lovers and husbands. the way she was abused mentally and physically (with drugs). the last third of this book is a rougher one, but brilliant.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abortion, Addiction, Alcohol, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Medical content, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Suicidal thoughts, and Toxic relationship

miaaisha's review against another edition

emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

5.0

This trilogy is so beautifully written and translated, I think writing a review would diminish that. What I find so fascinating is how each book is written with such an untarnished point of view depending on the time period. It's also interesting that the third book lacks quotation marks which reminds me very much of Sally Rooney's writing style where the fluidity of things are reflected by it. My favourite of all three would definitely be Childhood. Though the other two were equally good, I just found the first one to be so important and poignant to the whole story.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abortion, Drug use, and Drug abuse

Moderate: Adult/minor relationship and Toxic relationship

Minor: War, Pregnancy, and Infidelity