Reviews with content warning for Adult/minor relationship - Ein wenig Leben

Reviews tagging 'Adult/minor relationship'

Ein wenig Leben by Hanya Yanagihara

2541 reviews

mayareadsbooksnow's review against another edition

0.25

challenging dark mysterious sad tense slow-paced

Plot or Character Driven: Character

Strong character development: Complicated

Loveable characters: Complicated

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

I only started reading this because I wanted to see if it makes me cry. Spoiler alert!

It didn't

. Don't get me wrong,

the ending is absolutely sad with how Jude had to get his leg amputated, and despite that he was living his best life with Willem only for Willem to die in an accident. Of course, not standing the lost, Jude decided to euthanize himself, Iassume.

Either way, I absolutely hated reading this book. I know, you might be wondering "tHeN wHy tHe hAEWLl diD yOu reAD iT?". Well...I spent a fuckton of my saved up allowance to buy this book so OBVIOUSLY I have to finish reading this 😁💢💢

Anyways, what I originally came here to say is that;
1. I think the author hates men so much that she didn't know any legal way to torture them, so she decided to write this book
2. All the characters suck and I hate every and each one of them (yes, some characters including Jude, Willem, Harold, etc...oh JB included too cause how can I forget that fuck?)
3. The ending was kind of sad (only at an atomic level, okay?), so I'll give .25 for that
4. The writing is godawful (I don't wanna be too mean about this cause beauty is in the eye of beholder and this is not my beauty)

Overall, I'm happy to end this journey and excited to move onto the next thing cause I know at least it's gonna be better than whatever this was..

Content Warnings

otakurini's review against another edition

3.25

challenging emotional sad tense slow-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Complicated

Loveable characters: Complicated

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Content Warnings

elleherrera's review against another edition

4.75

dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

Oh my gods. This book is painful and beautiful and haunting and powerful all rolled together. Yanahihara is a beautiful writer and the way she writes is effortlessly sublime. This book shows the worst of people and the best of others, tracking the way that extreme trauma and abuse can change the very fabric of how one views themselves. Despite good looks, money, friends, success, and deeply profound love—trauma and the ghosts left behind persevere. The story clearly depicts how, even at its most annoying, frustrating, and infuriating someone’s lack of faith in themself can be, so often it’s the result of something beyond reason. I really loved the way the story unfolded, from different perspective and back and forth between time.
I LOVED the importance this book gave friendship.
“Why wasn’t friendship as good as a relationship? Why wasn’t it even better? It was people who remained together, day after day, bound not by sex or physical attraction or money or children or property, but only by the shared agreement to keep going, the mutual dedication to a union that could never be codified. Friendship was witnessing another’s slow drip of miseries, and long bouts of boredom, and occasional triumphs. It was feeling honored by the privilege of getting to be present for another person’s most dismal moments, and knowing that you could be dismal around him in return..”
Only knocked off 0.25 because I felt it didn’t need to be quite so long. And because I felt like Jude didn’t need quite so much trauma.

Content Warnings

phoenix2998's review against another edition

4.0

challenging dark emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Complicated

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Beautifully written, if a little problematic, A Little Life is an intimate, oftentimes unflinching look at the long term effects of trauma and abuse.

Content Warnings

buggycat's review against another edition

4.5

dark emotional sad slow-paced

Plot or Character Driven: Character

Strong character development: Yes

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

Content Warnings

applesodaperson's review against another edition

4.5

dark emotional reflective slow-paced

Plot or Character Driven: Character

Strong character development: Complicated

Loveable characters: Yes

Diverse cast of characters: Yes

Flaws of characters a main focus: Yes

This is probably one of the most controversial books I have ever read. I have seen a ton of discourse about it online for a long time, and so this review is probably going to be pretty long as I disagree with some of the points, and agree with others. But I am in the group of people who actually really enjoyed this book. I think because I have read another book by this author, I understand her style and intent a bit better. I truly believe that the reason this book is so widely controversial is because most readers do not understand what it is trying to do and say, and yes, I will elaborate more on that later.

The main criticism that I hear about this book is its portrayal of suicide. This is a very big part of the book, because it is the main struggle of the main character, Jude. And I do not deal with suicidal ideation myself, but I do have a bachelor’s degree in Psychology, so I feel somewhat qualified to talk about this. Ok so I understand that this is an incredibly sensitive topic, but my main thing is that I don’t think that means it can never be portrayed in media. Just because it is hard to hear about doesn’t mean it isn’t worthy of being in a book. I think mental health representation is super important, and just because this specific case didn’t have a happy ending doesn’t mean it should have never been included. Just because something makes you uncomfortable, does not mean it is inherently unworthy of being in art. And I think this book does a good job of portraying the day to day of dealing with this. And the reader gets to see how the people around Jude react to his disabilities and mental health issues. But this book is not meant to be a PSA or a “how to” of how to deal with loved ones and their mental health struggles. This book is allowed to be a fictional book about a person with an intense amount of trauma, and not every character has to deal with it in a perfect and PG way. Fictional characters are allowed to be complex and make mistakes. Again, I do understand where people are coming from, but I just think dark subjects should be allowed to be portrayed in media. If that is something you are particularly sensitive to, make sure to read and believe content warnings.

On the other hand, there is a common criticism I have heard before about this book that I do actually agree with. That being that this book does not portray therapy very well. Throughout the whole book, Jude refuses to go to therapy, and even when he does, he intentionally rails against it and doesn’t put any real effort into it. This doesn’t have anything to do with the therapist, just Jude’s reluctance to share or think about his trauma. And then later in the book, Willem quits going to therapy, and has a conversation with Jude about how he doesn’t see the benefit of therapy. Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinion about this, and not every therapist is going to be right for every patient, but as someone who got a degree in psychology specifically to be a therapist, I just can’t really approve of this messaging. Especially when it comes up multiple times among multiple characters. It felt more like a statement or message the book was trying to send rather than a character element. And I just don’t agree.

Another criticism that I had of this book is its portrayal of women. This isn’t something that I have seen anyone talk about before, it is just something that I noticed, and also noticed in The People in the Trees as well. In this book, all the female characters can be put in one of two stereotypical categories. Either they are a mother figure, or a jealous girlfriend. For example, Julia and Jude’s counselor both serve as mother figures, and neither gets any more depth than serving that role for Jude. And as for the jealous girlfriends, every single one of Willems girlfriends fit this category. I guess we do hear the names of other women, like Malcolm’s partner and the other side character’s girlfriends, but I really don’t count that because we never hear anything else about them other than their names. Not every book has to be a paragon of feminism, but I do think including at least one fleshed out woman character is kind of the bare minimum, especially in books as long and detailed as this. Like this book is 800 pages and has dozens of characters and spans like 50 years and I don’t even think it passes the Bechdel test.

Ok so as I was reading this book, I really made a conscious effort to think about why so many people online and in book spaces dislike this book. And I am sorry to those people but the conclusion I came to was that the people that dislike this book are either the wrong audience, or they went into it with very flawed expectations. I am not sure what happened in the lifespan of this book to make it so widely marketed and available, but this book is always at Walmart and Target, which is pretty rare for any book that isn’t romantasy these days. Like this book has incredibly dark subject matter and is really dense, so I am always surprised to see it on shelves. And I think that people pick this book up thinking that it is as simple as a gay romance, or as simple as a found family friendship story, when in reality it is so far from that. I truly believe that if this book was marketed as a queer weird girl book, public perception would be so different. Some comparable books I can think of are Paradise Rot or The Eyes are the Best Part. Not perfect comparisons but Paradise Rot is queer and has icky subject matter, and The Eyes are the Best Part is very dark and violent and graphic. But people generally like those books online because they go into them with realistic expectations. And I think if people knew what they were getting into with A Little Life they would like it better. Another thing that I had heard online prior to reading this book that really stuck with me throughout is that it is “gay trauma porn”. And hot take, if that is what you think about this book, you are weird and I think you just don’t understand this book or this author. I really think this book is much more meant to be about life and trauma and friendship than it is about being gay and having sex. Some of the characters happen to be queer, and are adults with relationships so obviously sex is going to be an element. But that isn’t what it is about. And I get that suicide and mental health are touchy subjects, but as I went into earlier, I don’t think that disqualifies them from being included in media and fiction. I think being sensitive to those topics is a much more valid reason to not read this book than thinking it is gay trauma porn. And having read The People in the Trees by the same author, I know that her books are just really dark in subject matter. But not all media is meant to comfort and coddle its audience. Sometimes people are allowed to make art that is meant to disturb its viewer for a larger purpose. And what I took from this book was not to be sad or disturbed for no reason, but instead it made me want to reflect on my life and passions and friendships. So please, if you read this book, understand what you are getting into and keep that in mind while reading.

But as for the actual writing of the book, it was absolutely incredible. This book is so incredibly detailed that it actually blew my mind. We get to see basically three characters that are completely fleshed out and have whole lives and struggles. By the end of the book, I felt like I knew these characters, because we get to see them over such a long span of time. I don’t even know how Yanagihara comes up with what she does, because the book is just overflowing with the tiny minute details of these character’s lives. And there is a clear sense of consistency. Details aren’t just performatively dropped into the story, they all matter. One example off the top of my head is how Willem’s restaurant job and early theater work continue to be referenced throughout the book. Basically, I just loved the amount of detail put into this book. I guess one criticism I had about the actual writing was that the book did not do a very good job of transitioning clearly between character POVs. It would just switch the POV every chapter, without any header or indicator of who we were now reading about. And with how many characters are in this, that made it a little hard to orient myself. There was always a moment where I was like “who are we talking about right now?” and just had to wonder until the character’s name was said or I could use context clues.

When I started this book, I thought that it was going to be more evenly distributed among the 4 main characters, but Jude ends up being the clear main character. We spend the most time in his point of view, and learn the most about him as they get older. Willem is definitely the second main character, but Malcolm and JB hardly get any “screentime”, which was a little disappointing. I understand why Jude is the main character, because of his role as the “center” of all of the characters, but I really liked Malcolm, and thought JB’s story was really compelling. I actually think JB might have been my favorite character. Not to say that I think he is a good person necessarily, because he really does some awful things to Jude, but he has the most relatable insecurities for me. He feels that by having a privileged childhood, he has somehow used up his allotment of wonder and excitement, and adulthood seems dull and boring in comparison. Instead of finding passion and purpose in adulthood, he feels lost. And I guess this struck a chord with me. I travelled a lot as a kid, and even lived overseas for a few years. I have a loving family and have always been in a higher socioeconomic bracket. And so now that I am grown up, working a 9-5, life really does feel less exciting. Risks feel way harder to take and creativity is harder to harness. And obviously JB doesn’t handle things very well, but his struggles resonated with me.

Overall, this book really spoke to me. I don’t really read books to be comforted and mindlessly entertained. I stray away from books that are marketed as brain candy. When it comes to movies and TV shows, I do like that kind of stuff, but books are my time to build up my media literacy skills, and to face down dark topics that are hard to hear about. Literature is so important, and people need to remember that not every book is meant to be fun and silly. Sometimes a book is meant to make you learn some critical thinking skills, and yes, maybe even to disturb you a bit. So, I just hope people give this book more of a chance.

Content Warnings