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wingover's review against another edition
3.0
This book was actually a composition of several articles and some I found fairly helpful when it comes to managing both as a business leader and yourself. Overall it wasn’t extremely enthralling to read.
laralaske's review against another edition
Epitome of capitalism: how to monetize empathy
galfarhan's review against another edition
5.0
This is a must read. I am buying it in bulk and distributing it to all my friends and colleagues.
Here is my review on each of the 10 articles:
What Makes a Leader?
10/10
Very helpful and encourage you to do the EQ test for this.
What Makes an Effective Executive by Peter F. Drucker
10/10
What Leaders Really Do?
5/10
The Work of Leadership?
3/10, talks more about adaptive leadership, not that bad but didn’t challenge me the same way the other articles did.
Why Should Anyone Be Led by You?
6/10
Crucibles of Leadership
5/10
Level 5 Leadership: The Triumph of Humility and Fierce Resolve
9/10
Seven Transformations of Leadership
10/10
Really interesting.
Discovering Your Authentic Leadership
10/10
Vey very helpful
In Praise of the Incomplete Leader
10/10
Here is my review on each of the 10 articles:
What Makes a Leader?
10/10
Very helpful and encourage you to do the EQ test for this.
What Makes an Effective Executive by Peter F. Drucker
10/10
What Leaders Really Do?
5/10
The Work of Leadership?
3/10, talks more about adaptive leadership, not that bad but didn’t challenge me the same way the other articles did.
Why Should Anyone Be Led by You?
6/10
Crucibles of Leadership
5/10
Level 5 Leadership: The Triumph of Humility and Fierce Resolve
9/10
Seven Transformations of Leadership
10/10
Really interesting.
Discovering Your Authentic Leadership
10/10
Vey very helpful
In Praise of the Incomplete Leader
10/10
ppetropoulakis's review against another edition
5.0
HBR’s strategic marketing articles describe what is common practice in today’s marketing world. Therefore most modern companies use techniques as described in this book to achieve better market performance. Articles range chronologically from the 1960ies to the mid 00s but the message always feels relevant. A good primer for the MBA student.
janebell's review against another edition
challenging
informative
slow-paced
4.0
My notes:
1) how can I be sure that I’ll be happy in my career
2) How can I be sure that my relationships with my spouse and family become an enduring source of happiness
3) How can I be sure that I stay out of jail
Clear sense of purpose, without that you will waste time, talent, and energy on things that don’t matter
Opportunity to learn, grow in Responsibilities, contribute, and be recognized.
Building up people
Business failure offer trace back to the need for immediate results/gratification
Consensus amongst teams
“Just this once” is poison
Life is an unending stream of extensions circumstances. It is easier to hold to your principles 100% of the time rather than 98% of the time
Unlimited learning opportunities
Where can you place your self to make the greatest contribution?
Whenever you make a key decision, write down what you think will happen. A year later compare the results for feedback analysis.
Ask yourself what your greatest contribution could be to your organizations efforts
Know how you and your peers preform
This is how I work well. This is what I am good at. These are my values. This is what I want and expect to deliver. What about you?
Wherever there is success, there has to be failure.
*
Monkey in your back
Clarify whether the employee should: recommend and implement a solution, take action then brief you immediately, or act and report the outcome at a regular update
*
Resiliency
1.the Coolly accept harsh realities facing them
2. They find meaning in terrible times
3. They can improvise, making do with whatever is at hand
A dark sense of humor
Face down reality and prepare yourself to act in ways that enable you to endure (ex: Vietcong prisoner)
Bounding back.
*
Manage your energy, not your time
- energy depleting behaviors
When you describe what you can’t stand, you often describe what you stand for
*
attention deficit trait
*
Total leadership
Reflect on work, home,community, and self and reflect on how imprint each is to you and how much time and energy you devote to each and how satisfied you are with each.
Based on that reflection. Brainstorm small experiments that could improve great satisfaction of all four domains
Set goals as follows: life area, experiments goals, how will you measure success, implementation steps.
*
Avoid a restive state of mind
*
What to ask the person in the mirror:
- am I communicating a vision for my business to my employees? If the employees were asked, could they articulate the vision and priorities?
- Am I spending my time in ways that enable me to achieve my priorities
- Do I give timely and direct feedback they can act on?
- Do I have subordinated who will tell me things I may not want to hear but need to hear?
- How do I behave under pressure
- have I identified potential successors? Are you coaching them and giving them challenging assignments?
- Am I are under to business changes that may require shifts in how we run the company?
- Does my leadership style reflect who I truly am?
*
Your mood is contagious
1) how can I be sure that I’ll be happy in my career
2) How can I be sure that my relationships with my spouse and family become an enduring source of happiness
3) How can I be sure that I stay out of jail
Clear sense of purpose, without that you will waste time, talent, and energy on things that don’t matter
Opportunity to learn, grow in Responsibilities, contribute, and be recognized.
Building up people
Business failure offer trace back to the need for immediate results/gratification
Consensus amongst teams
“Just this once” is poison
Life is an unending stream of extensions circumstances. It is easier to hold to your principles 100% of the time rather than 98% of the time
Unlimited learning opportunities
Where can you place your self to make the greatest contribution?
Whenever you make a key decision, write down what you think will happen. A year later compare the results for feedback analysis.
Ask yourself what your greatest contribution could be to your organizations efforts
Know how you and your peers preform
This is how I work well. This is what I am good at. These are my values. This is what I want and expect to deliver. What about you?
Wherever there is success, there has to be failure.
*
Monkey in your back
Clarify whether the employee should: recommend and implement a solution, take action then brief you immediately, or act and report the outcome at a regular update
*
Resiliency
1.the Coolly accept harsh realities facing them
2. They find meaning in terrible times
3. They can improvise, making do with whatever is at hand
A dark sense of humor
Face down reality and prepare yourself to act in ways that enable you to endure (ex: Vietcong prisoner)
Bounding back.
*
Manage your energy, not your time
- energy depleting behaviors
When you describe what you can’t stand, you often describe what you stand for
*
attention deficit trait
*
Total leadership
Reflect on work, home,community, and self and reflect on how imprint each is to you and how much time and energy you devote to each and how satisfied you are with each.
Based on that reflection. Brainstorm small experiments that could improve great satisfaction of all four domains
Set goals as follows: life area, experiments goals, how will you measure success, implementation steps.
*
Avoid a restive state of mind
*
What to ask the person in the mirror:
- am I communicating a vision for my business to my employees? If the employees were asked, could they articulate the vision and priorities?
- Am I spending my time in ways that enable me to achieve my priorities
- Do I give timely and direct feedback they can act on?
- Do I have subordinated who will tell me things I may not want to hear but need to hear?
- How do I behave under pressure
- have I identified potential successors? Are you coaching them and giving them challenging assignments?
- Am I are under to business changes that may require shifts in how we run the company?
- Does my leadership style reflect who I truly am?
*
Your mood is contagious
ingridbagarean's review against another edition
5.0
HBR's series are very insightful and prove to be super useful in real life, as many detailed examples and lessons are presented in all articles. Loved this one in particular because I get to compare and associate the events with those in my field of work. Truly worth reading!
jennilynft's review against another edition
4.0
Short and sweet articles with a lot of useful information, some actionable.
jrc2011's review against another edition
3.0
This compact volume contains 10 articles on EI intended as a primer for those new to the subject matter -- published in 2013, it includes some items that were actually quite old at the time (published in 1996, for example)
1. What Makes a Leader? by Daniel Goleman (1996)
2. Primal Leadership: The Hidden Driver of Great Performance by Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, and Annie McKee (2001)
In the first article, Goleman resents the theme of the book: emotional intelligence is the most important skill for leaders, and while some of these are innate, they can all be learned or improved through coaching and attention. He details the overarching groups of skills from an emotional intelligence perspective successful leaders:
Key to all understanding is taking inventory of one's values, goals, strengths and weaknesses to determine a strategy for change and self-improvement. Learning new habits is difficult -- so it must include honest self-assessment and feedback from others, along with a plan and alternatives to supplant the undesired/existing patterns.
The second article dives into a bit more detail about how a leader serves as a "limbic attractor" -- setting the mood for the entire team in terms of outlook, perception and motivation. Nobody wants to work for a grouchy jerk -- and negativity from the top isn't just bad for team performance, it can infect the entire team or organization and create a toxic environment.
"High levels of emotional intelligence, our research showed, create climates in which information sharing, trust, healthy risk-taking, and learning flourish." (p 24). An upbeat environment "fosters mental efficiency" and results in better decisions, as well as financial performance.
As with the first article -- the way to identify and make changes is through 360-feedback (in all domains of one's life), identify your values and goals ("Who do you want to be?") and devise a plan for closing the gap. The article dives into a bit more neuroscience about how humans, as social animals, have an "open loop" system that means we match moods to those around us. Further, while most temperaments are set by the mid-20s, you can change those habits -- or "fake it til you make it"
"The more we act a certain way—be it happy, depressed, or cranky—the more the behavior becomes ingrained in our brain circuitry, and the more we will continue to feel and act that way." (p 36).
This is why, the authors argue, it is so important to have a "learning agenda" -- something that you can hold yourself to as we literally don't have the brain power to make changes without it. Holding yourself accountable works for so many things -- think about New Year's resolutions or the power of making changes for weight loss or smoking with a buddy or group that holds you accountable. Neuroscience is showing that we can change even those things we thought were indelibly imprinted on our own brains -- if we really want to do so, it requires self-awareness, a plan and support from those around us.
This first pair of articles are the precursors to the very excellent "Primal Leadership" (first published 2002, revised 2013).
3. Why It’s So Hard to Be Fair by Joel Brockner (2006)
Emotional intelligence is critical to change management -- this article examines the importance of "process fairness" in strengthening performance and reducing risk. This is different from "outcome fairness" -- and is driven by three key factors: 1) how much input do employees feel they have in the decision-making process? Are their needs and input valued? 2) Do employees believe that decisions are implemented fairly and with consistency and with accurate data? Can mistakes be corrected? Are plans shared in advance so that employees can have time to absorb, ask questions and adjust? 3) Finally, how do managers treat employees in this process? Do they share information, listen respectfully and answer questions?
The steps for establishing process fairness start with education and training. Help managers understand the impact of emotions on their organization -- you can't just avoid talking to people about the reasons behind a layoff because you feel guilty about it, you have to step up and share information in a truthful and transparent way. Even when managers do consider input from employees -- that's not enough if they aren't articulating how the input was valued or considered against all other data. The team wants to feel heard and considered.
Employee engagement is an ever increasing priority for companies -- a critical part of that is sharing information and including them in the decision-making process. This engagement drives the performance and directly impacts a company's bottom-line.
4. Why Good Leaders Make Bad Decisions by Andrew Campbell, Jo Whitehead, and Sydney Finkelstein (2009)
Even good leaders can make bad decisions - and that's often a result of making decisions in a silo without feedback or data. Leaders -- and all people -- make decisions at a deeply unconscious level through pattern recognition and with a process called "emotional tagging." This may prevent us from, say, stepping in front of a bus -- but it can also result in making bad decisions (such as Quaker Oats' acquisition of Snapple).
The authors provide a list of "red flag" situations to help improve the decision-making process through a more systematic analysis of biases, options and information. These include: examination of the range of options; identifying the key decision-makers; choosing the most influential decision-maker as the focus; check for biases, inappropriate-self interest or distorting attachments; check for misleading memories and strong emotional associations; repeat the analysis with the next most influential person and then review the list of red flags you have identified.
5. Building the Emotional Intelligence of Groups by Vanessa Urch Druskat and Steven B. Wolff (2001)
A team may be largely comprised of emotionally intelligent individuals, but without establishing an emotional intelligence for the team -- it may not function very well. The authors describe models for creating processes within teams to incorporate individual emotions and to create a team-intelligence that connects across functions or departments for greater performance and creativity. This article relies a lot on IDEO -- and I was in those teams in the late 90s, so it would be interesting to see a more up-to-date article on group EI after the first dot-com crash when running around with foam finger darts and standing up and howling at your desk were considered acceptable office behavior.
The primary benefit of creating group norms is to allow the team to identify tension, disharmony and other issues and to resolve those issues via process. One of the examples that was really fun was from IDEO: when someone starts to criticize an idea before it's fully articulated, other team members pelt that person with small stuffed animals. Another advantage of group EI is in creating relationships with other groups -- both inside and outside the organization -- by establishing a liaison or ambassador to keep track of the overall satisfaction and confidence of the relationship and course correct as needed.
6. The Price of Incivility: Lack of Respect Hurts Morale—and the Bottom Line by Christine Porath and Christine Pearson (2013)
Despite 20 years of discussion of emotional intelligence in the workplace, this more recent article warns us that incivility in the workplace is on the rise -- though I might argue it's not just the workplace but everywhere. Unfortunately - incivil behavior garners a negative response and unfortunately, not everyone is self-aware enough to realize that they are being incivil in the first place.
In line with the earlier articles about a leader's role in setting mood and energy -- the authors advise that leaders can be the role model and counteract rudeness at work from the top. One great example of this was a manager who realized that venting about rude people to some of his trusted colleagues was basically creating a model for them to continue that incivility elsewhere. He reined it in and changed his behavior to help improve the environment.
Studies show that there are high costs for incivility -- creativity suffers, quality of work decreases, people limit their effort and even spend less time at work. They are less committed when they feel people are rude to them on their team and often leave the company or take out their frustration on customers.
The authors recommend the same steps as in Goleman's first article: model good behavior, ask for feedback, track your progress (even keeping a journal to track your own civility/incivility and changes you want to pursue). In managing the team -- always hire for civility -- and follow gut instincts, find out more if someone isn't sure about "fit" on the team. Teaching civility can be done through role-play and video recording, and creating group norms about shared expectations (ie "don't look at your iPhone during a panel interview"). Finally - it is important both to reward good behavior and punish bad behavior.
7. How Resilience Works by Diane L. Coutu (2002)
Here's another article that was written just after the first dotcom crash and 9/11 -- a lot of people felt the devastating effects of these events. The author talks here about what defines resilient people: they accept what they cannot change, find meaning in terrible times and are able to improvise with whatever is at hand. She provides some great examples -- including the well known Victor Frankl, who survived many years in a concentration camp by telling himself he would give talks after he was freed telling people how it was possible to survive such an experience (and he did!).
"This dynamic of meaning making is, most researchers agree, the way resilient people build bridges from present-day hardships to a fuller, better constructed future. Those bridges make the present
manageable, for lack of a better word, removing the sense that the present is overwhelming." (p 113)
Being in touch with your core values, and operating in accordance to those values -- along with sustaining a level of curiosity about how to make things work -- are critical to resilience.
8. Emotional Agility: How Effective Leaders Manage Their Negative Thoughts and Feelings by Susan David and Christina Congleton (2013)
If you've been exposed to any mindfulness and meditation literature -- you have probably heard the term "monkey mind" or maybe "inner critic." This article -- while not using those terms -- is all about how to identify those unwanted thoughts and avoid getting pulled into the vortex of negative, doubting and non-productive thoughts.
The authors outline steps from "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy" (ACT): Recognize your patterns; Label your thoughts and emotions; Accept them; Act on your values. The labelling is as simple as "I'm having a thought that guy intentionally cut me off in traffic" -- and then instead of responding as if that thought is true, reflect on your values: I take pride in being a good, predictable, safe driver instead of flipping out (I'm totally using a non business example here to make a point).
Again - we are offered the advice to identify our most important values -- as an objective basis for choosing responses to situations and thoughts that come into our minds. Taking a pause when you feel an emotion and choosing a response results in greater mastery of oneself and has many benefits in relationships and decision-making.
"It’s impossible to block out difficult thoughts and emotions. Effective leaders are mindful of their inner experiences but not caught in them. They know how to free up their internal resources and commit to actions that align with their values." (p 126).
9. Fear of Feedback by Jay M. Jackman and Myra H. Strober (2003)
This ominous title makes me afraid to read the article! Daniel Goleman & his co-authors described "CEO Disease" -- where business leaders have no idea of their effect on those around them because those people are afraid to provide truthful feedback. Jackman & Strober go a step farther -- they talk about how a fear of feedback generally results in many maladaptive behaviors such as procrastination, self-sabotage, jealousy, denial and brooding (back to the previous article about emotional agility!).
The reasons people avoid feedback include: Fear - people just don't like being criticized; Procrastination - often includes hostility or anger, or feeling of helplessness; Denial and Self-sabotage - often unconscious; Brooding can result in passivity, paralysis and isolation as a person avoids or obsesses on something rather than discussing it openly; Jealousy is maladaptive because of the basis in suspicion, envy, rivalry and possessiveness.
A common theme here is self-awareness -- recognizing your emotions and responses, label them and take steps to make a decision instead of a reaction. Seek support from people who will provide you a friendly ear and encouragement in this self-examination and learn to reframe the feedback.
"The proactive feedback process we recommend consists of four manageable steps: self-assessment, external feedback, absorbing the feedback, and taking action toward change." (p 136)
Take the time to reward yourself for making the changes as an incentive -- "nowhere is it written that the feedback process must be a wholly negative experience."
Freeing yourself from knee-jerk reactive behaviors can have a positive effect on other areas of your life as well!
10. The Young and the Clueless by Kerry A. Bunker, Kathy E. Kram, and Sharon Ting (2002)
Have you ever been part of a team lead by a new, young manager who really didn't "get it"? Maybe this person was nice personally but didn't do a great job at resolving team dynamics issues, connecting with people outside the team or even coaching and caring her direct reports?
For the finale of this reader, a restatement of the critical role of EI and soft leadership skills to the success of a manager. The authors describe the importance of slowing down the ascent of young managers and providing them with opportunities to develop those soft skills in ways that will strengthen them personally and improve their performance and longevity in a company.
While some EI skills are innate -- much of these skills are learned through time and experience, older people have more EI skills than younger people. They advise these steps:
1. Deepen 360-degree feedback
2. Interrupt the ascent
3. Act on your commitment
4. Institutionalize personal development
5. Cultivate informal networks.
The examples used in the article are really excellent -- and show a depth of caring and coaching that most managers probably don't receive. One example, a young manager who rose quickly based on performance, was seeking a promotion to VP but her boss didn't think she was ready. Instead, he offered her a special yearlong cross-functional/departmental assignment that would broaden her skills on promise of promotion and financial reward. She did well in this task and when she did get her promotion -- she had built up a network within the company, developed influential relationships and was perceived as a valuable addition to that level.
See "Wisdom at Work: The Making of a Modern Elder" by Chip Conley (2018) for more information on how older workers can help younger people develop those EI skills.
1. What Makes a Leader? by Daniel Goleman (1996)
2. Primal Leadership: The Hidden Driver of Great Performance by Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, and Annie McKee (2001)
In the first article, Goleman resents the theme of the book: emotional intelligence is the most important skill for leaders, and while some of these are innate, they can all be learned or improved through coaching and attention. He details the overarching groups of skills from an emotional intelligence perspective successful leaders:
• Self-awareness —knowing one’s strengths, weaknesses, drives, values, and impact on others
• Self-regulation —controlling or redirecting disruptive impulses and moods
• Motivation —relishing achievement for its own sake
• Empathy —understanding other people’s emotional makeup
• Social skill —building rapport with others to move them in desired directions
Key to all understanding is taking inventory of one's values, goals, strengths and weaknesses to determine a strategy for change and self-improvement. Learning new habits is difficult -- so it must include honest self-assessment and feedback from others, along with a plan and alternatives to supplant the undesired/existing patterns.
The second article dives into a bit more detail about how a leader serves as a "limbic attractor" -- setting the mood for the entire team in terms of outlook, perception and motivation. Nobody wants to work for a grouchy jerk -- and negativity from the top isn't just bad for team performance, it can infect the entire team or organization and create a toxic environment.
"High levels of emotional intelligence, our research showed, create climates in which information sharing, trust, healthy risk-taking, and learning flourish." (p 24). An upbeat environment "fosters mental efficiency" and results in better decisions, as well as financial performance.
As with the first article -- the way to identify and make changes is through 360-feedback (in all domains of one's life), identify your values and goals ("Who do you want to be?") and devise a plan for closing the gap. The article dives into a bit more neuroscience about how humans, as social animals, have an "open loop" system that means we match moods to those around us. Further, while most temperaments are set by the mid-20s, you can change those habits -- or "fake it til you make it"
"The more we act a certain way—be it happy, depressed, or cranky—the more the behavior becomes ingrained in our brain circuitry, and the more we will continue to feel and act that way." (p 36).
This is why, the authors argue, it is so important to have a "learning agenda" -- something that you can hold yourself to as we literally don't have the brain power to make changes without it. Holding yourself accountable works for so many things -- think about New Year's resolutions or the power of making changes for weight loss or smoking with a buddy or group that holds you accountable. Neuroscience is showing that we can change even those things we thought were indelibly imprinted on our own brains -- if we really want to do so, it requires self-awareness, a plan and support from those around us.
This first pair of articles are the precursors to the very excellent "Primal Leadership" (first published 2002, revised 2013).
3. Why It’s So Hard to Be Fair by Joel Brockner (2006)
Emotional intelligence is critical to change management -- this article examines the importance of "process fairness" in strengthening performance and reducing risk. This is different from "outcome fairness" -- and is driven by three key factors: 1) how much input do employees feel they have in the decision-making process? Are their needs and input valued? 2) Do employees believe that decisions are implemented fairly and with consistency and with accurate data? Can mistakes be corrected? Are plans shared in advance so that employees can have time to absorb, ask questions and adjust? 3) Finally, how do managers treat employees in this process? Do they share information, listen respectfully and answer questions?
The steps for establishing process fairness start with education and training. Help managers understand the impact of emotions on their organization -- you can't just avoid talking to people about the reasons behind a layoff because you feel guilty about it, you have to step up and share information in a truthful and transparent way. Even when managers do consider input from employees -- that's not enough if they aren't articulating how the input was valued or considered against all other data. The team wants to feel heard and considered.
Employee engagement is an ever increasing priority for companies -- a critical part of that is sharing information and including them in the decision-making process. This engagement drives the performance and directly impacts a company's bottom-line.
4. Why Good Leaders Make Bad Decisions by Andrew Campbell, Jo Whitehead, and Sydney Finkelstein (2009)
Even good leaders can make bad decisions - and that's often a result of making decisions in a silo without feedback or data. Leaders -- and all people -- make decisions at a deeply unconscious level through pattern recognition and with a process called "emotional tagging." This may prevent us from, say, stepping in front of a bus -- but it can also result in making bad decisions (such as Quaker Oats' acquisition of Snapple).
The authors provide a list of "red flag" situations to help improve the decision-making process through a more systematic analysis of biases, options and information. These include: examination of the range of options; identifying the key decision-makers; choosing the most influential decision-maker as the focus; check for biases, inappropriate-self interest or distorting attachments; check for misleading memories and strong emotional associations; repeat the analysis with the next most influential person and then review the list of red flags you have identified.
5. Building the Emotional Intelligence of Groups by Vanessa Urch Druskat and Steven B. Wolff (2001)
A team may be largely comprised of emotionally intelligent individuals, but without establishing an emotional intelligence for the team -- it may not function very well. The authors describe models for creating processes within teams to incorporate individual emotions and to create a team-intelligence that connects across functions or departments for greater performance and creativity. This article relies a lot on IDEO -- and I was in those teams in the late 90s, so it would be interesting to see a more up-to-date article on group EI after the first dot-com crash when running around with foam finger darts and standing up and howling at your desk were considered acceptable office behavior.
The primary benefit of creating group norms is to allow the team to identify tension, disharmony and other issues and to resolve those issues via process. One of the examples that was really fun was from IDEO: when someone starts to criticize an idea before it's fully articulated, other team members pelt that person with small stuffed animals. Another advantage of group EI is in creating relationships with other groups -- both inside and outside the organization -- by establishing a liaison or ambassador to keep track of the overall satisfaction and confidence of the relationship and course correct as needed.
6. The Price of Incivility: Lack of Respect Hurts Morale—and the Bottom Line by Christine Porath and Christine Pearson (2013)
Despite 20 years of discussion of emotional intelligence in the workplace, this more recent article warns us that incivility in the workplace is on the rise -- though I might argue it's not just the workplace but everywhere. Unfortunately - incivil behavior garners a negative response and unfortunately, not everyone is self-aware enough to realize that they are being incivil in the first place.
In line with the earlier articles about a leader's role in setting mood and energy -- the authors advise that leaders can be the role model and counteract rudeness at work from the top. One great example of this was a manager who realized that venting about rude people to some of his trusted colleagues was basically creating a model for them to continue that incivility elsewhere. He reined it in and changed his behavior to help improve the environment.
Studies show that there are high costs for incivility -- creativity suffers, quality of work decreases, people limit their effort and even spend less time at work. They are less committed when they feel people are rude to them on their team and often leave the company or take out their frustration on customers.
The authors recommend the same steps as in Goleman's first article: model good behavior, ask for feedback, track your progress (even keeping a journal to track your own civility/incivility and changes you want to pursue). In managing the team -- always hire for civility -- and follow gut instincts, find out more if someone isn't sure about "fit" on the team. Teaching civility can be done through role-play and video recording, and creating group norms about shared expectations (ie "don't look at your iPhone during a panel interview"). Finally - it is important both to reward good behavior and punish bad behavior.
7. How Resilience Works by Diane L. Coutu (2002)
Here's another article that was written just after the first dotcom crash and 9/11 -- a lot of people felt the devastating effects of these events. The author talks here about what defines resilient people: they accept what they cannot change, find meaning in terrible times and are able to improvise with whatever is at hand. She provides some great examples -- including the well known Victor Frankl, who survived many years in a concentration camp by telling himself he would give talks after he was freed telling people how it was possible to survive such an experience (and he did!).
"This dynamic of meaning making is, most researchers agree, the way resilient people build bridges from present-day hardships to a fuller, better constructed future. Those bridges make the present
manageable, for lack of a better word, removing the sense that the present is overwhelming." (p 113)
Being in touch with your core values, and operating in accordance to those values -- along with sustaining a level of curiosity about how to make things work -- are critical to resilience.
8. Emotional Agility: How Effective Leaders Manage Their Negative Thoughts and Feelings by Susan David and Christina Congleton (2013)
If you've been exposed to any mindfulness and meditation literature -- you have probably heard the term "monkey mind" or maybe "inner critic." This article -- while not using those terms -- is all about how to identify those unwanted thoughts and avoid getting pulled into the vortex of negative, doubting and non-productive thoughts.
The authors outline steps from "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy" (ACT): Recognize your patterns; Label your thoughts and emotions; Accept them; Act on your values. The labelling is as simple as "I'm having a thought that guy intentionally cut me off in traffic" -- and then instead of responding as if that thought is true, reflect on your values: I take pride in being a good, predictable, safe driver instead of flipping out (I'm totally using a non business example here to make a point).
Again - we are offered the advice to identify our most important values -- as an objective basis for choosing responses to situations and thoughts that come into our minds. Taking a pause when you feel an emotion and choosing a response results in greater mastery of oneself and has many benefits in relationships and decision-making.
"It’s impossible to block out difficult thoughts and emotions. Effective leaders are mindful of their inner experiences but not caught in them. They know how to free up their internal resources and commit to actions that align with their values." (p 126).
9. Fear of Feedback by Jay M. Jackman and Myra H. Strober (2003)
This ominous title makes me afraid to read the article! Daniel Goleman & his co-authors described "CEO Disease" -- where business leaders have no idea of their effect on those around them because those people are afraid to provide truthful feedback. Jackman & Strober go a step farther -- they talk about how a fear of feedback generally results in many maladaptive behaviors such as procrastination, self-sabotage, jealousy, denial and brooding (back to the previous article about emotional agility!).
The reasons people avoid feedback include: Fear - people just don't like being criticized; Procrastination - often includes hostility or anger, or feeling of helplessness; Denial and Self-sabotage - often unconscious; Brooding can result in passivity, paralysis and isolation as a person avoids or obsesses on something rather than discussing it openly; Jealousy is maladaptive because of the basis in suspicion, envy, rivalry and possessiveness.
A common theme here is self-awareness -- recognizing your emotions and responses, label them and take steps to make a decision instead of a reaction. Seek support from people who will provide you a friendly ear and encouragement in this self-examination and learn to reframe the feedback.
"The proactive feedback process we recommend consists of four manageable steps: self-assessment, external feedback, absorbing the feedback, and taking action toward change." (p 136)
Take the time to reward yourself for making the changes as an incentive -- "nowhere is it written that the feedback process must be a wholly negative experience."
Freeing yourself from knee-jerk reactive behaviors can have a positive effect on other areas of your life as well!
10. The Young and the Clueless by Kerry A. Bunker, Kathy E. Kram, and Sharon Ting (2002)
Have you ever been part of a team lead by a new, young manager who really didn't "get it"? Maybe this person was nice personally but didn't do a great job at resolving team dynamics issues, connecting with people outside the team or even coaching and caring her direct reports?
For the finale of this reader, a restatement of the critical role of EI and soft leadership skills to the success of a manager. The authors describe the importance of slowing down the ascent of young managers and providing them with opportunities to develop those soft skills in ways that will strengthen them personally and improve their performance and longevity in a company.
While some EI skills are innate -- much of these skills are learned through time and experience, older people have more EI skills than younger people. They advise these steps:
1. Deepen 360-degree feedback
2. Interrupt the ascent
3. Act on your commitment
4. Institutionalize personal development
5. Cultivate informal networks.
The examples used in the article are really excellent -- and show a depth of caring and coaching that most managers probably don't receive. One example, a young manager who rose quickly based on performance, was seeking a promotion to VP but her boss didn't think she was ready. Instead, he offered her a special yearlong cross-functional/departmental assignment that would broaden her skills on promise of promotion and financial reward. She did well in this task and when she did get her promotion -- she had built up a network within the company, developed influential relationships and was perceived as a valuable addition to that level.
See "Wisdom at Work: The Making of a Modern Elder" by Chip Conley (2018) for more information on how older workers can help younger people develop those EI skills.