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4.28 AVERAGE
4.28 AVERAGE
Sara is sharing everything here. She does the best to guide us through her life and makes the reader relate to her. I love her even more now.
she's everything to me and this books just proves how pure her heart and soul are, she's just someone you can't hate
emotional
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
As a Sara B fan, i highly recommend this book to get a glimpse of her personal stories behind some of her songs. I loved her more because of this.
To think that I worried I wouldn't finish my library books before they were due... Absolutely inhaled this. No surprise that I loved hearing backstory from an artist who has sung the deepest emotions in my soul. This was beautiful.
Some of the lines I loved:
GRAVITY
33: "I relaxed into feeling safe and very proud of this love. I leaned into our relationship and the pride that came with wearing someone's attention. It made me feel powerful and beautiful, two things I now know we can't effectively cultivate from a place outside ourselves, but nevertheless, I was hooked."
34: "I felt so incredibly special, so chosen, and for the first year I was over the moon. So much so that I ignored the parts of the relationship that weren't so good. We'd fight. he was moody. I was controlling. He was antagonistic, and I was a nag. Neither one of us knew how to communicate, so the seeds of discontent were planted and began to grow stronger. ... Still clinging to the certainty of our future together, wearing my relationship like a crown, I tethered all of my self-esteem to it. If he loved me, it meant I was worth loving."
37: "We were only officially back together for a few months, but the emotional tangle went on long after that, plenty long enough for me to begin to believe that I wasn't good enough to deserve and keep someone's love. That every relationship would end like this."
38: "... we would pick up old routines and I'd want to believe that things would turn around: that our love was big enough to transcend the five hundred miles and light-years of maturation required to make that relationship work. But of course it wasn't and we didn't and my heart would rip open every single time. We're always making everything slightly more difficult than it needs to be, aren't we? Oh, us. ... I could clearly see my own pattern of returning to something that was not serving me, and yet I kept choosing to repeat it over and over. I felt so powerless and so deeply disappointed in my own inability to take control."
40: "I am grateful to the boy who broke my heart for the very first time. I allowed myself to truly love something other than myself, and that is a beautiful experience, albeit painful. ... I'm glad that my heart was launched into the air by a careless kid, because I was gifted the opportunity of learning how to heal it once it hit the ground."
LOVE SONG
62: "I was waiting for someone else to give me permission to make my own decisions, and that was my greatest mistake."
67: "I asked for the strength to release feeling responsible for making anyone else happy with what I created."
BEAUTIFUL GIRL
86: "You don't feel your own power at all right now, and I understand. Yours is not the kind that wants to announce itself. It is slow and quiet and tucks in behind things waiting to be discovered. Some people have power that is thick and neon-colored and races around the room making sure everyone pays attention. It's fascinating but it's not yours. You are learning how to hold yourself up and believe in the strength of your own conviction. That is not an easy thing to do, and you are doing the best you can. Keep going. I'm very proud of you."
87: "That trip will remind you that we are all very, very small beings who simply have to figure out a way to cope with feeling powerless sometimes."
90: "You are beautiful.
Fuck 'em.
The kaleidoscope of experiences you have had this year are deeply meaningful and have enhanced your perspective on what actually matters. You have seen firsthand how fleeting and fragile life is, and it has changed your DNA. Your tolerance for bullshit is lessening, and although you are not always graceful with how you fight back, I love that you are a scrappy little lady.
You are bored with the value system you see celebrated around you. 'Compromise' is sometimes just manipulation, and you are learning to identify that. You see a need for more people, women especially, to push back against the system that is in place, and you've decided to do more of that. This experience will only turn up the volume on your voice the next time around. Hell yes to this, and go go go."
91: "... you're certain that people will think you're stupid, or not funny, or saccharine, or too precious, or a million other adjectives describing a negative experience. You have a loud voice inside yourself that is telling you that you aren't good enough and aren't pretty enough and aren't smart enough... AND YOU TOTALLY SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING HER, DON'T YOU?
...
I am your friend and I wouldn't lie to you. This will be a conversation you can count on having with yourself forever and ever, so get comfy. There are always going to be reasons to doubt your own worth; the question is, how far do you allow yourself to go down that road before you look up and realize that, just like that girl in the ruby-red slippers, you had the power to come home all along?
Things evolve into other things. Emotions do the same. Forever. Your best ally in a ll of these shifting seas is your faith in the fact that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Stay put. Stay soft. Stay gentle and kind. Listen to your instincts. Meditate. Pray. Laugh as much as humanly possible. Pain is okay too. Say thank you for all of it. Feel proud that you have spent most of your life's energy on cultivating a strong connection to your own soul and the will of your heart. It is leading you somewhere deeply satisfying but never perfect."
MANY THE MILES
121: "By treating the mistake with so little weight, it actually became weightless."
BRAVE
144: "She was living between an internal and an external reality that didn't match. ... From the outside I could see that those fears kept her form considering that the very possibility that there might be a better version of her life waiting for her. ... I wrote to her about how we can chose to reflect the places we see the lack of love in the world, or we could try to be stronger than our weaknesses, and shine a light on something better."
148: [Martha Graham to Agnes de Mille; quote about the Blessed Unrest]
160: "'The essence of bravery is being without self-deception.'
I have spent so much time and energy in my life telling myself hundreds of little lies. Lies about the way I feel or don't feel. Lies about what I want. Lies about the things I want to do. Lies about the people who make me feel safe or the kind of art I actually want to make. All these lies that muddy up the honest conversation I could have been having with myself and the world around me.
I don't know who I thought I was helping.
Who am I when I am striped of all of that? Who am I if i build my life on my deepest, most soul-crushing truth? Who stays with me? Who disappears? What happens if I feel pain but don't run from it and instead learn to feel it? Or if I feel vulnerable and don't hide it? If I feel ignored and ridiculed and don't pretend it doesn't hurt? What would happen if I found a way to speak up honestly as often as I possibly could? If I was just brave enough to try?"
SHE USED TO BE MINE
169: "There were lessons I took with me that I wish I had learned earlier in my career, like knowing what you want and not being afraid to ask for it. This can mean privacy, or friend chicken, whatever it is your soul is asking for. I also learned a respect for my own boundaries, because I saw how diligent Jennifer was with hers. Asking for what you need with kindness is a great skill, and doesn't mean you will always receive it, but it will certainly up your odds."
176: "Jenna is reclaiming herself in this song, calling out her circumstance by name for the first time but, sadly, without a resolution. She is talking about the person she used to be and how far away she feels from her, panicked that there is no way to get her back."
178: "In her gentle yet firm way, she reminded me that I am a strong and capable person who can do anything in this world and that above all I am loved."
EPILOGUE
183: "I hope these essays have been comforting to someone reading it if for no other reason that to watch me openly admit I have no idea what I'm doing. I suspect most people feel that way, even if they don't fess up. Life is staggering, and all we can do is our best. My personal best seems the most accessible to me when I am being as honest as I can be. At this point in my life, I am attempting to make choices that move me toward what feels authentic, while saying yes to things that make my gut feel spooked with possibility. I have no idea what that means for my future..."
Some of the lines I loved:
GRAVITY
33: "I relaxed into feeling safe and very proud of this love. I leaned into our relationship and the pride that came with wearing someone's attention. It made me feel powerful and beautiful, two things I now know we can't effectively cultivate from a place outside ourselves, but nevertheless, I was hooked."
34: "I felt so incredibly special, so chosen, and for the first year I was over the moon. So much so that I ignored the parts of the relationship that weren't so good. We'd fight. he was moody. I was controlling. He was antagonistic, and I was a nag. Neither one of us knew how to communicate, so the seeds of discontent were planted and began to grow stronger. ... Still clinging to the certainty of our future together, wearing my relationship like a crown, I tethered all of my self-esteem to it. If he loved me, it meant I was worth loving."
37: "We were only officially back together for a few months, but the emotional tangle went on long after that, plenty long enough for me to begin to believe that I wasn't good enough to deserve and keep someone's love. That every relationship would end like this."
38: "... we would pick up old routines and I'd want to believe that things would turn around: that our love was big enough to transcend the five hundred miles and light-years of maturation required to make that relationship work. But of course it wasn't and we didn't and my heart would rip open every single time. We're always making everything slightly more difficult than it needs to be, aren't we? Oh, us. ... I could clearly see my own pattern of returning to something that was not serving me, and yet I kept choosing to repeat it over and over. I felt so powerless and so deeply disappointed in my own inability to take control."
40: "I am grateful to the boy who broke my heart for the very first time. I allowed myself to truly love something other than myself, and that is a beautiful experience, albeit painful. ... I'm glad that my heart was launched into the air by a careless kid, because I was gifted the opportunity of learning how to heal it once it hit the ground."
LOVE SONG
62: "I was waiting for someone else to give me permission to make my own decisions, and that was my greatest mistake."
67: "I asked for the strength to release feeling responsible for making anyone else happy with what I created."
BEAUTIFUL GIRL
86: "You don't feel your own power at all right now, and I understand. Yours is not the kind that wants to announce itself. It is slow and quiet and tucks in behind things waiting to be discovered. Some people have power that is thick and neon-colored and races around the room making sure everyone pays attention. It's fascinating but it's not yours. You are learning how to hold yourself up and believe in the strength of your own conviction. That is not an easy thing to do, and you are doing the best you can. Keep going. I'm very proud of you."
87: "That trip will remind you that we are all very, very small beings who simply have to figure out a way to cope with feeling powerless sometimes."
90: "You are beautiful.
Fuck 'em.
The kaleidoscope of experiences you have had this year are deeply meaningful and have enhanced your perspective on what actually matters. You have seen firsthand how fleeting and fragile life is, and it has changed your DNA. Your tolerance for bullshit is lessening, and although you are not always graceful with how you fight back, I love that you are a scrappy little lady.
You are bored with the value system you see celebrated around you. 'Compromise' is sometimes just manipulation, and you are learning to identify that. You see a need for more people, women especially, to push back against the system that is in place, and you've decided to do more of that. This experience will only turn up the volume on your voice the next time around. Hell yes to this, and go go go."
91: "... you're certain that people will think you're stupid, or not funny, or saccharine, or too precious, or a million other adjectives describing a negative experience. You have a loud voice inside yourself that is telling you that you aren't good enough and aren't pretty enough and aren't smart enough... AND YOU TOTALLY SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING HER, DON'T YOU?
...
I am your friend and I wouldn't lie to you. This will be a conversation you can count on having with yourself forever and ever, so get comfy. There are always going to be reasons to doubt your own worth; the question is, how far do you allow yourself to go down that road before you look up and realize that, just like that girl in the ruby-red slippers, you had the power to come home all along?
Things evolve into other things. Emotions do the same. Forever. Your best ally in a ll of these shifting seas is your faith in the fact that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Stay put. Stay soft. Stay gentle and kind. Listen to your instincts. Meditate. Pray. Laugh as much as humanly possible. Pain is okay too. Say thank you for all of it. Feel proud that you have spent most of your life's energy on cultivating a strong connection to your own soul and the will of your heart. It is leading you somewhere deeply satisfying but never perfect."
MANY THE MILES
121: "By treating the mistake with so little weight, it actually became weightless."
BRAVE
144: "She was living between an internal and an external reality that didn't match. ... From the outside I could see that those fears kept her form considering that the very possibility that there might be a better version of her life waiting for her. ... I wrote to her about how we can chose to reflect the places we see the lack of love in the world, or we could try to be stronger than our weaknesses, and shine a light on something better."
148: [Martha Graham to Agnes de Mille; quote about the Blessed Unrest]
160: "'The essence of bravery is being without self-deception.'
I have spent so much time and energy in my life telling myself hundreds of little lies. Lies about the way I feel or don't feel. Lies about what I want. Lies about the things I want to do. Lies about the people who make me feel safe or the kind of art I actually want to make. All these lies that muddy up the honest conversation I could have been having with myself and the world around me.
I don't know who I thought I was helping.
Who am I when I am striped of all of that? Who am I if i build my life on my deepest, most soul-crushing truth? Who stays with me? Who disappears? What happens if I feel pain but don't run from it and instead learn to feel it? Or if I feel vulnerable and don't hide it? If I feel ignored and ridiculed and don't pretend it doesn't hurt? What would happen if I found a way to speak up honestly as often as I possibly could? If I was just brave enough to try?"
SHE USED TO BE MINE
169: "There were lessons I took with me that I wish I had learned earlier in my career, like knowing what you want and not being afraid to ask for it. This can mean privacy, or friend chicken, whatever it is your soul is asking for. I also learned a respect for my own boundaries, because I saw how diligent Jennifer was with hers. Asking for what you need with kindness is a great skill, and doesn't mean you will always receive it, but it will certainly up your odds."
176: "Jenna is reclaiming herself in this song, calling out her circumstance by name for the first time but, sadly, without a resolution. She is talking about the person she used to be and how far away she feels from her, panicked that there is no way to get her back."
178: "In her gentle yet firm way, she reminded me that I am a strong and capable person who can do anything in this world and that above all I am loved."
EPILOGUE
183: "I hope these essays have been comforting to someone reading it if for no other reason that to watch me openly admit I have no idea what I'm doing. I suspect most people feel that way, even if they don't fess up. Life is staggering, and all we can do is our best. My personal best seems the most accessible to me when I am being as honest as I can be. At this point in my life, I am attempting to make choices that move me toward what feels authentic, while saying yes to things that make my gut feel spooked with possibility. I have no idea what that means for my future..."
I love Sara Bareilles’ music so very much, and reading this book only made me appreciate her artistry and honesty even more. It is easy to say that a famous person “seems like a normal human” because we don’t actually know. It’s easy to assume the best when we like someone’s art. But unless she is spewing absolute fakery and bullshit, Sara Bareilles is the real deal. This book made me cry multiple times and gave me some words that help me understand myself better. I am grateful that this book popped on my radar, and I will definitely read it again and again.
Every teenage girl or young woman or music lover or human in general should listen to the audiobook adaptation of this memoir! Sara begins each chapter with an acapella snippet of one of her well-loved songs, and then reads beautifully-written essays detailing her life. She shares stories filled with whimsy and heartache and depression and battles with body image. I cried, at some point, during every single chapter. But it was a heart-filled-to-the-brim kind of cry, which is oh so nice. I needed this book during the time I listed to it, and I can’t wait to listen to it over and over again.
funny
informative
inspiring
fast-paced
medium-paced