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3.51 AVERAGE
3.51 AVERAGE
slow-paced
informative
slow-paced
Although somewhat dated, Gail Sheehy’s writing and observations still strike home in today’s day. There were many moments in her that were gut punches for me in understanding the current “passage” I’m in, as well as past ideologies that I held on to. Now in my mid 30’s I’m feeling the shake up, and I’m very glad I read it. The only reason it’s a 4 for me is at times it was really hard for me to keep reading. It is a dense book that covers a lot of subject matter, and the very dated parts are tough to get through. But still worth it for me.
I'd heard and read so many references to this book over the years that I thought I should finally get around to it. Surprisingly, it wasn't as dated as I'd expected. Definitely, there are many parts that are--the boundaries of gender and social/political/economic roles have moved a little in 40 years. But, maybe it shows how little has changed that so much of the book still sounds relevant. It is a prototypical self-help book, of sorts, and a lot of it sounds like what my parents' friends would talk about when I was little--it also sounds like a lot of dialogue from 70s and 80s movies and TV shows. Still, it's interesting. Food for thought, anyway.
I moved and decided not to bring this book with me, but I do plan on finishing it once I move back and am reunited with my books.
informative
reflective
medium-paced
The writing isn’t that great, but the information is valuable and it hit me at the right time
This book from the 70s covers life stages between age 18 to 50. Although the marriage timeline is out of date (it covers women who generally get married by 21 and have 3 kids by 25), the dynamics are still relevant. It was thought-provoking.
The book says each adult feels two simultaneous forces: one for following the expected life script given by their parents, and the other for exploration and breaking free from parental expectations.
Some people first follow the expectations and build a safe structure. They get married, get a job their parents approve of, etc. By 40, their repressed desire for exploration kicks in and they go on a jaunt to explore.
Others first live a transient life backpacking through foreign countries or dating a lot. By 40, they want a steady job and to explore a structured life.
In their 40s, people give up the idea that they can follow a societal script and it will keep them safe. They face their own mortality and their character flaws. Some people try to keep busy with external distractions (which just delays the inevitable feeling of crisis). Others confront the dark feelings and eventually decide on self identity that is not swayed by other people.
The book says each adult feels two simultaneous forces: one for following the expected life script given by their parents, and the other for exploration and breaking free from parental expectations.
Some people first follow the expectations and build a safe structure. They get married, get a job their parents approve of, etc. By 40, their repressed desire for exploration kicks in and they go on a jaunt to explore.
Others first live a transient life backpacking through foreign countries or dating a lot. By 40, they want a steady job and to explore a structured life.
In their 40s, people give up the idea that they can follow a societal script and it will keep them safe. They face their own mortality and their character flaws. Some people try to keep busy with external distractions (which just delays the inevitable feeling of crisis). Others confront the dark feelings and eventually decide on self identity that is not swayed by other people.
Chosen as a seminal work on a topic that fascinates me, I've labored to complete Sheeny's classic on life transitions. Not because her writing is difficult; no, it is often lyrical. But because her findings are simple and irrefutable, and reading them left me feeling that my own life is a cliche.
We are so predictable. This truth comforts and confounds at the same time.
Written in the early 1970's, some references and examples are decidedly reflections of that time. However, the struggle to free-oneself from from the inner-custodian is universal. As my own struggle continues into my 50's, reading about others finding, or losing, their way in the process left me weary. Still worth the effort, but what an effort!
We are so predictable. This truth comforts and confounds at the same time.
Written in the early 1970's, some references and examples are decidedly reflections of that time. However, the struggle to free-oneself from from the inner-custodian is universal. As my own struggle continues into my 50's, reading about others finding, or losing, their way in the process left me weary. Still worth the effort, but what an effort!
An interesting historical perspective on psychological theories for the layman.