Scan barcode
kimball_hansen's review against another edition
4.0
I don't know how I discovered this book but it was pretty good. And as far as marriage books go and people struggling in their relationship this will be a useful tool provided that you actually want to do something positive in restoring the relationships. This book had plenty of scientific studies that showed the benefits of having a great marriage and partner. For example, having someone you can rely on for connection and support makes healing from trauma easier.
It also sounded like one of the books that [a:Brené Brown|162578|Brené Brown|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1246473726p2/162578.jpg] got her vulnerability material from.
Some notes I took:
When we feel safely connected to others we understand ourselves better and like ourselves more. Simply put, you can't be your best self, alone. The neat thing is also that the more we can reach out to our partners the more separate and independent we can become ourselves. This is a good thing because no one likes a partner that can't exist or doesn't have a life without their Better Half.
Having close ties to others is vital to every aspect of our health. I think this is generally true for most people unless, of course, if you're [b:The Stranger in the Woods: The Extraordinary Story of the Last True Hermit|30687200|The Stranger in the Woods The Extraordinary Story of the Last True Hermit|Michael Finkel|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1474560136s/30687200.jpg|51228990].
Love isn't the icing on the cake of life but a fundamental need.
Most fights in a relationship are really protests of our emotional disconnection.
When marriages fail it's not because of increasing conflict, it is because of decreasing emotional responsiveness and affection.
Spontaneous touching is a sign of a healthy relationship.
People need to discover and confront their raw spots.
The amygdala is designed to allow for adding new information but not to easily remove it. Hence fear is so powerful and stays with us. The amygdala maintains a record of emotional events.
It also sounded like one of the books that [a:Brené Brown|162578|Brené Brown|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1246473726p2/162578.jpg] got her vulnerability material from.
Some notes I took:
When we feel safely connected to others we understand ourselves better and like ourselves more. Simply put, you can't be your best self, alone. The neat thing is also that the more we can reach out to our partners the more separate and independent we can become ourselves. This is a good thing because no one likes a partner that can't exist or doesn't have a life without their Better Half.
Having close ties to others is vital to every aspect of our health. I think this is generally true for most people unless, of course, if you're [b:The Stranger in the Woods: The Extraordinary Story of the Last True Hermit|30687200|The Stranger in the Woods The Extraordinary Story of the Last True Hermit|Michael Finkel|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1474560136s/30687200.jpg|51228990].
Love isn't the icing on the cake of life but a fundamental need.
Most fights in a relationship are really protests of our emotional disconnection.
When marriages fail it's not because of increasing conflict, it is because of decreasing emotional responsiveness and affection.
Spontaneous touching is a sign of a healthy relationship.
People need to discover and confront their raw spots.
The amygdala is designed to allow for adding new information but not to easily remove it. Hence fear is so powerful and stays with us. The amygdala maintains a record of emotional events.
solonox's review against another edition
4.0
As mentioned in other reviews, this book describes pretty much all issues in romantic relationships through a lens of attachment theory and with partners not feeling securely bonded to and supported by one another. The book provides sufficient evidence (in my opinion) to back up its claim that attachment issues are the root of most relationship problems, concrete examples to illustrate its points, clear advice about how to handle the issues that crop up in relationships, and exercises to complete to build your skills. The end of the book did drag on a bit longer in mushy-gushy land than I felt it needed to, and I wish that the author/editor had swapped in they/them pronouns in place of using "he or she."
spudmcgeezer's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
slow-paced
4.5
dr_feline's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
casafutawa's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
Couldn’t relate to a lot of the personal couple stories that were used as examples but overall very informative.,
rhondaestling's review against another edition
5.0
Using adult attachment theory and the ideas of emotionally focused therapy, this book explores seven conversations to improve relationships. While I think many relationships would require more than just this book to get to where Johnson envisions this could absolutely be used as a resource for psychoeducation with clients. By reading the book together, a couple may be able to gain a better understanding of adult attachment and begin the openness that could translate into really powerful therapy.
ryceejo's review against another edition
5.0
If you've ever wanted to be a fly on the wall in a successful couples therapy session (or 10), this is the book for you. EFT is amazing!