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madam_cyn's review against another edition
Worthy message and story, but it was just too unrelentingly awful to read about. I can imagine how dreadful such mysoginy would be to endure, but don't have to read about it. This book made me angry. Every Korean woman should be rising up and going on strike from relationships.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism, Emotional abuse, and Misogyny
melina_30's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Wow. I think it's brilliant that we learn at the end, that this story is written by Jiyoung's therapist which explains the clinical and detached writing style. Also I'm in shok how the therapist didn't learn anything from the experiences of women in his life. Both his own wife and his patient Kim Jiyoung share their stuggle with mistreatment by men in their life and society in general but he doesn't seem to understand why they struggle which becomes clear with the description of an employee who had to quit her job at the clinic due to the same reasons his patients consult him. The last sentences of the book had me in shock: "Even the best female employees can cause many problems if they don't have the childcare issue taken care of. I'll have to make sure her replacement is unmarried." One last slap in the face... After everything he heard from his patients and his own wife this is his solution??
Amazing book that everyone should read.
Amazing book that everyone should read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism, Sexual harassment, and Misogyny
Moderate: Gaslighting and Mental illness
Minor: Alcohol and Pregnancy
koreanlinda's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
This was a hugely famous and popular book in Korea when it was published. Reading it a decade later, I understood why. It tells the story of all women having lived, are living, and will live in South Korea. Of course, it is not all-encompassing, but women-presenting people in Korea cannot escape the sexism and misogyny described in this book, perhaps partially but not entirely.
I grew up in South Korea until my high school year. While reading this book, I finally realized that every minute of my childhood was filled with experiences of sexism and misogyny. Through counseling therapy, I have already realized that the physical punishment (along with verbal and psychological abuse) by my mother and teachers was indeed violence and child abuse. (It was so normalized that I thought it was acceptable for most of my life.) However, I did not realize until now that the oppression and abuse I experienced were much bigger than my small circle of personal relationships.
I am now living in the USA, where they have a considerable portion of sexism and misogyny. However, I deem that there is a better awareness around it here, compared to South Korea. The frustration I experienced in Korea (during my residence in childhood and my visits in adulthood) and what I read in the book largely originates from the normalization of sexism and misogyny. There are small pockets of feminist groups speaking up for women's rights, but they are brutally demonized by mainstream society. Fighting for women's rights quickly feels like screaming into a void, unheard and disregarded. Even people who seem to care fail to understand women's struggles. For example, Jung, TaeHyun, a loving and supportive husband of Kim, JiYoung still considers his domestic role as "helping" her housework." JiYoung's therapist empathizes with her struggles as well as his wife's, who had also lost her career due to childbirth and parenting. However, at the end of his self-reflection, he concludes that it'd be wiser to hire unmarried female employees at his doctor's office so he doesn't lose their workforce due to their family obligations.
My heart goes out to all Kim, JiYoungs of South Korea and to my younger self, who lived in deep confusion and hurt for a long time.
Review by Linda (Any Pronouns) in April 2024
Personal essays on DefinitelyNotOkay.com
Artwork on Instagram @KoreanLinda
I grew up in South Korea until my high school year. While reading this book, I finally realized that every minute of my childhood was filled with experiences of sexism and misogyny. Through counseling therapy, I have already realized that the physical punishment (along with verbal and psychological abuse) by my mother and teachers was indeed violence and child abuse. (It was so normalized that I thought it was acceptable for most of my life.) However, I did not realize until now that the oppression and abuse I experienced were much bigger than my small circle of personal relationships.
I am now living in the USA, where they have a considerable portion of sexism and misogyny. However, I deem that there is a better awareness around it here, compared to South Korea. The frustration I experienced in Korea (during my residence in childhood and my visits in adulthood) and what I read in the book largely originates from the normalization of sexism and misogyny. There are small pockets of feminist groups speaking up for women's rights, but they are brutally demonized by mainstream society. Fighting for women's rights quickly feels like screaming into a void, unheard and disregarded. Even people who seem to care fail to understand women's struggles. For example, Jung, TaeHyun, a loving and supportive husband of Kim, JiYoung still considers his domestic role as "helping" her housework." JiYoung's therapist empathizes with her struggles as well as his wife's, who had also lost her career due to childbirth and parenting. However, at the end of his self-reflection, he concludes that it'd be wiser to hire unmarried female employees at his doctor's office so he doesn't lose their workforce due to their family obligations.
My heart goes out to all Kim, JiYoungs of South Korea and to my younger self, who lived in deep confusion and hurt for a long time.
Review by Linda (Any Pronouns) in April 2024
Personal essays on DefinitelyNotOkay.com
Artwork on Instagram @KoreanLinda
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism and Misogyny
Moderate: Sexual harassment and Violence
kaylurzz's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual harassment, Sexism, Mental illness, and Misogyny
Minor: Abortion
mardana's review against another edition
dark
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.25
Somehow hitting close to home, even though the Korean women apparently have it much harder. I know many of the more or less subtle comments and expectations directed towards women from first hand experience.
This is a book, that should predominantly be read by men. But I doubt, that many a man will pick it up.
This is a book, that should predominantly be read by men. But I doubt, that many a man will pick it up.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual harassment, Misogyny, Sexism, and Pregnancy
Minor: Mental illness, Alcohol, Bullying, and Miscarriage
directorpurry's review against another edition
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abortion, Misogyny, Sexism, Pregnancy, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Vomit and Sexual assault
kathshiroma's review against another edition
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Misogyny, Sexism, Sexual assault, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Abortion and Miscarriage
isabelvegga's review against another edition
informative
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny, Sexism, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Mental illness and Sexual assault
Minor: Abortion
lottie1803's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pregnancy, Misogyny, Mental illness, Sexism, and Sexual harassment
sorkka's review against another edition
informative
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I liked this book because it describes some of the many challenges unique to being a woman. After reading, I feel both vindicated and anxious about how I might raise a family and pursue a career. It was so interesting learning about how hopeless this challenge is for many Korean women. I was not happy that the narrator of the audio book was a man at first, given that it is the story of Jiyoung’s life and has such a feminist sentiment, but at the end of the book it is clear why the narrator is a man, with a plot twist!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny and Sexism
Moderate: Abortion and Sexual harassment