Reviews tagging 'Physical abuse'

Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft

19 reviews

cjsimpson234's review against another edition

challenging informative reflective slow-paced

3.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Drug abuse, Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, and Emotional abuse

nokvi's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional informative reflective medium-paced

4.0

This book is so insightful as to how abusive men think and act. It was challenging to read from how heavy it got at times and the topic of abuse and the victims of abuse is never an easy pill to shallow. I would recommend this book to everyone 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, and Emotional abuse

cnsgirl's review against another edition

Lundy is Anti Vax.
Lundy is a TERF.

This book might have some beneficial insight, given its popularity. 

I personally cannot trust an author who holds those views to be a consistently enough sound source of insight, and I will read other books in Lundy's place.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Physical abuse, Domestic abuse, and Emotional abuse

vainnerj's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative medium-paced

5.0

Should be required reading for all women, mental health professionals and those who work in related fields. A bit dated but still unbelievably valuable. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, Emotional abuse, and Violence

oxamorist's review against another edition

informative inspiring reflective tense medium-paced

4.0

I thoroughly enjoyed reading the book, it left me with multiple perspectives on the topic of domestic abuse and how many things contribute to both abuse and solving and giving justice to issues of abuse. Although I do wonder how updated this book is on stats such as how many men are abused by women, as the author does claim it's rare, I do think the perspectives and information he highlights is very important for everyone to know, both men and women. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Physical abuse

Moderate: Child abuse and Emotional abuse

ezulc's review against another edition

dark informative inspiring slow-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Physical abuse, Emotional abuse, Domestic abuse, and Toxic relationship

jokehelldo's review against another edition

emotional informative reflective slow-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Physical abuse, Violence, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Child abuse, Misogyny, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Incest, Gaslighting, Child abuse, Sexual violence, and Rape

Minor: Alcoholism

tacita's review against another edition

hopeful informative sad medium-paced

4.75

While severely biased toward the assumption of male-on-female dynamics, the actual descriptions of abusive behaviors are invaluable and specific. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexism, Toxic relationship, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Physical abuse

Moderate: Drug abuse, Misogyny, Infidelity, Alcoholism, Stalking, Pregnancy, and Violence

Minor: Incest

xwritingstoriesx's review against another edition

emotional informative reflective slow-paced

3.75

3.75 stars.
I have to start this review by acknowledging that the author is a trans-exclusionary radical feminist. I hadn't known this prior to purchasing and reading his work but I'm not happy with this information whatsoever. You cannot call yourself a feminist without intersectionality. 

Onto the book itself, I found myself growing frustrated by the consistent message about male abuse and the denial of such happenings. If you are a male abuse victim, you will not feel seen or heard in this book, but rather you will find judgement, scorn and ridicule. In Chapter four, Bancroft writes, "Be particularly careful with a man who claims to have been a victim of physical violence by a previous female partner." 
While I do understand that this has happened enough for it to be mentioned here, I don't think discrediting all claims against a female partner is the right path forward. In Chapter 2, he also writes about the embarrassment a man must feel from being abused by a woman. Obviously, this is a really dangerous sentiment. I wanted to give this man the benefit of the doubt as it was written twenty years ago but with the revelation of transphobia, I can't see him changing.  

Moreover, I found that the book was a bit too long in my opinion and could have forgone the recap sections. I would've been fine with a 200 page book rather than 400 pages of anecdotal evidence mixed in with facts and off-putting opinions. 

With regards to the positive aspects of this book, I did see myself in the examples given and greatly appreciated that they mentioned the court system and its prejudice towards abuse victims. The examples of real life experiences were really insightful and allowed you to draw comparison to your own experiences. Despite all this, I have to rate the book a 3.75 stars, as it didn't quite hit the mark for me.  

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gaslighting, Physical abuse, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Toxic relationship, Violence, and Cursing

crybabybea's review

informative medium-paced

3.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Misogyny, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Sexual violence, Bullying, Gaslighting, Sexism, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, and Domestic abuse

Moderate: Sexual assault and Addiction