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informative
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
Not as in depth or interesting as I had hoped, but good on the basics for those who aren't familiar. I appreciated the quotes from aro/aspec individuals.
Based on other reviews that critiqued the authors on their inclusion of references to Harry Potter, I was expecting more than there was. If you're worried about that, don't be. At least in my opinion, what was included was thoughtful and context appropriate.
Based on other reviews that critiqued the authors on their inclusion of references to Harry Potter, I was expecting more than there was. If you're worried about that, don't be. At least in my opinion, what was included was thoughtful and context appropriate.
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
This book is incredible. It's accessible and complex but grounded with stories from all kinds of people. The relationship between Sarah and Kayla is the perfect example of a strong bond without romance or sex and it's so clear how much they've grown and care for each other.
This book helped me understand so much about myself and helped me with some rampant internalized aphobia that I didn't know how to handle on my own. Absolutely worth reading for anyone interested in the aspec lens.
This book helped me understand so much about myself and helped me with some rampant internalized aphobia that I didn't know how to handle on my own. Absolutely worth reading for anyone interested in the aspec lens.
informative
lighthearted
medium-paced
I went into this w/ zero knowledge of the podcast. I have a few friends on the aspectrum, one of whom lent this to me and one of whom told me about their sexuality as I was discussing the book with them. I'd recommend this one to anyone who has ever loved their friends, been interested in the idea of relationship anarchy, and honestly, mostly to people not on the aspectrum. I felt like I was gently handheld while learning a lot about not just what asexuality is, but a deep dive into questioning the way our (western, heteronormative) society values some relationships over others.
I didn't find the podcast extras too useful, but they were definitely a fun look into the authors' personalities.
I didn't find the podcast extras too useful, but they were definitely a fun look into the authors' personalities.
emotional
informative
reflective
fast-paced
Every time I feel like I know myself and I understand my identities, I find another a-spec writer/scholar who explains something about myself or my experience that I didn't realize I was self-conscious about, or feeling badly about, and something in me heals to know that it is normal - just by an alternate definition. Having representation, especially self representation of the a-spec experience is wonderful. I'm so happy that there are more books on the subject, by a-spec authors coming out!
Content Warnings
Moderate: Misogyny, Racism, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Religious bigotry, Sexual harassment
Also heads up for discussion of the bigotry faced by a-spec individuals and how that experience differs based on intersectional identities and other marginalizing factors.
informative
lighthearted
fast-paced
Sounds Fake But Okay is a book that takes an aspec (ace spectrum and aro spectrum) lens and applies it to experiences where social norms can limit people of those identities... so all of them. Or at least all of them could be, though only a selected few are covered here. The authors tout a "don't should" approach, re: social pressures and expectations, meaning that any internalized thought about how a person "should" behave or feel ought to be questioned through an aspec lens because it's not likely to serve us.
There were a few interesting takeaways for me. One is the term aplatonic to describe people who don't feel a drive toward building platonic relationships. It shows how even the emphasis on friendships in the aspec community can alienate some experiences. Another thing is that while I know about alternatives to romantic/sexual partnership, this was my first time hearing about "the relationship escalator" to describe the normative route to forming and maintaining the classic monogamous relationship. I find the concept amusing.
As a non-podcast style of person (I know-- am I even a millennial??), I'm not familiar with the authors' work and don't hold a particular fan allegiance to them. And while I applaud any book on aroace experiences hitting shelves and reaching more people who need the information, this particular volume doesn't stand out to me. And there are so many that do! Since I seek these kinds of books out and the topic means a lot to me, I tend to get something positive from the experience. That's true here, too, it's just not particularly groundbreaking compared to other great options, even in a small field. On that note, someone who hasn't read widely on this topic might have a better experience since they won't be busy making comparisons. I just think I'd recommend something different to a curious reader. Thanks to Jessica Kingsley for my copy to read and review!
There were a few interesting takeaways for me. One is the term aplatonic to describe people who don't feel a drive toward building platonic relationships. It shows how even the emphasis on friendships in the aspec community can alienate some experiences. Another thing is that while I know about alternatives to romantic/sexual partnership, this was my first time hearing about "the relationship escalator" to describe the normative route to forming and maintaining the classic monogamous relationship. I find the concept amusing.
As a non-podcast style of person (I know-- am I even a millennial??), I'm not familiar with the authors' work and don't hold a particular fan allegiance to them. And while I applaud any book on aroace experiences hitting shelves and reaching more people who need the information, this particular volume doesn't stand out to me. And there are so many that do! Since I seek these kinds of books out and the topic means a lot to me, I tend to get something positive from the experience. That's true here, too, it's just not particularly groundbreaking compared to other great options, even in a small field. On that note, someone who hasn't read widely on this topic might have a better experience since they won't be busy making comparisons. I just think I'd recommend something different to a curious reader. Thanks to Jessica Kingsley for my copy to read and review!
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced