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I enjoyed the interpersonal relationships and family stories, which felt realistic and very moving. I loved the descriptions of dragoning. I liked Marla and Alex and Sonja and Dr. Gantz.
I do also think the book hasn't fully stepped away from its gender essentialist premise, though it has mentions of
Graphic: Child abuse, Sexism, Fire/Fire injury, Abandonment
Moderate: Body horror, Body shaming, Death, Homophobia, Violence, Grief, Religious bigotry, Medical trauma, Death of parent, Murder, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Pregnancy, War
Graphic: Cancer, Terminal illness, Abandonment
Moderate: Death of parent
Minor: War
Graphic: Death, Misogyny, Sexism, Abandonment
Moderate: Cancer
It's not you, it's me. I promise. This book has a lot of stuff going for it. It's really well-written. I really like how it's written like the main character is writing all of this in real-time, or explaining the story to you, so it has a very relaxed, chatty style. Yet despite that, it was really descriptive and filled with memorable moments of transformation, beauty, realization, and even just finding solidarity in the little moments. I also liked the interludes from the science book on dragons, talking about the history of similar events and recollecting various interviews and reports, trying to piece together what the phenomena even was.
However, it just wasn't for me. In my years, I've realized I'm just on a really different path of feminism when it comes to other people. There's nothing wrong with that. However it does mean that more simplified ideas and stories about feminism that paint everything as 'every woman is an oppressed housewife and needs to get angry and break the windows and kill every man' annoyed me as a teenager and get really tiresome and irksome as an adult. I don't want to demean the message. We're all on different paths in this journey. Many women definitely found this story to be inspiring and I don't want to take that away from them. We all respond differently to the same message at different points in our lives. I'm not going to say this is a bad message or that women shouldn't feel empowered by it. I'm just saying that I personally need something more complex and different to get inspired by.
The lack of ethnic women did also bother me. Again, this is an older, simpler version of feminism, but having a story set in this time period and using the words of things like segregation for white characters did leave a bad taste in my mouth. There were a few black people mentioned, but it wasn't enough to really placate me. I'm not usually someone who complains about these things, but in a book like this, it felt like a glaring oversight at best.
Again, I really did like the writing. I liked the alternate history angle. I liked how the family dynamics were similar to mine. My father abandoned us when I was a teenager and often left me to fend for myself and my two siblings. My aunt has always been the fun-loving, wild one, while my mom was the more traditional housewife, and I remember being younger and noticing the contrast in them, like my aunt was still a young teenager when I was a toddler and she'd still play with me like an older sister. That made me relate a bit to the main character because I had similar situations. I don't think this is a bad book!
I just think it's not a book for me. It's got a good pace, good writing, and even a good story. I thought the premise of this was interesting and really wish it was explored in a more complex and intersectional way that was more relatable and enjoyable to someone like me. But just because I can't personally relate to something doesn't mean it has no value or worth. I get it. I related to the Barbie movie even though it's also pretty simple because it was a message I needed to hear in that way at that time. I'm never going to take away how others feel just because I didn't feel it.
Also, my period started as I read this book. What a perfect coincidence.
Graphic: Sexism, Abandonment
Moderate: Misogyny, Sexism, Abandonment
Moderate: Cancer, Misogyny, Sexism, Abandonment
Minor: Infidelity
Moderate: Grief
Minor: Cancer, Homophobia, Infidelity, Misogyny, Death of parent, Abandonment
Graphic: Cancer, Misogyny, Death of parent, Abandonment
Graphic: Misogyny, Sexism, Abandonment
Moderate: Alcoholism
Graphic: Abandonment
Moderate: Cancer, Chronic illness, Homophobia, Death of parent
Minor: Alcohol