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3.73 AVERAGE
3.73 AVERAGE
I was a fan of Alice Sebold's novel, The Lovely Bones, and this non-fiction account of her own rape, came highly recommended.
This is not an easy read in the sense that the subject matter is emotional and the way our society and legal system deal with rape is enraging. But the honesty of her depiction, especially the reactions and emotions of her family members, is remarkable and worth the read.
This is not an easy read in the sense that the subject matter is emotional and the way our society and legal system deal with rape is enraging. But the honesty of her depiction, especially the reactions and emotions of her family members, is remarkable and worth the read.
Prepare yourself for this one. It's the memoir of the author's rape when she was in college. Good book, but heavy
I thought I'd like this more since I love Lovely Bones. But it didn't speak to me even though it was well written.
Edited to Man cleared of Rape. Sebold's actions during the trial and her lack of an offical and meaningful aplogy ruin what should be a good book. I knocked down the stars (3 to 2). I am leaving up my original review. But a reader would be better served reading [b:Know My Name|50196744|Know My Name|Chanel Miller|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1567612158l/50196744._SX50_SY75_.jpg|73239835]. I understand that ids after a traumatic event can and have lead to other false ids, but there is something off with the lack of apology.
Second up date as of 12/2/2021 - Sebold has issued an apology. here. Memoir pulled for redrafting to include the exoneration.
Rape is at once both a simple and complext subject. Regardless of the victim and rapist, it ties, cuts, right to the heart of our views about gender. It is impossible to step this, and it has been used to inspire terror and as a form of punishment.
It should be note that before I read this book, I had read the jezebel article about [b:You Deserve Nothing|9777374|You Deserve Nothing|Alexander Maksik|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1381681445l/9777374._SY75_.jpg|14667081], to which Ms. Sebold is connected. My reading of this book is most likely affected by that article.
Sebold's story starts with an act that despite its violence, its illegality, is simple. Simple because most acts are, because it is simply violent, because it is simply wrong. Sebold's graphic description of her rape makes the reader at once a unwilling quasi voyager while shattering and subverting all the romance novel fantasies.
The complex follows afterward as Sebold details not only her reaction, but those of the police, the lawyers, her friends, her family, her community's (both college and home) reaction to her rape. This is both raw and compelling because it touches at the complex issues that lie at the hear of any reaction to rape.
Even though Sebold's rape happened in 1981, all of what she deals with can still be found today. No, I'm not talking about just where rape is used as punishment or where women are killed by thier family or where women get thier virginity tested upon arrest. I'm talking every where. Here in Philadelphia, a female judge threw out rape charges because the woman who brought the charges had arranged to have sex for money with two of the men who "ran a train on her" (the total number was over five); therefore, according to the judge, she couldn't be raped, just robbed, and anyway she was asking for it. Even in "civilized" or "modern" countries, the victim, no matter how innocent faces accusation - what were you doing there, how were you dressed and so on. Society wants to blame him or her. Yes, him. Just because a young teenage boy sleeps with his teacher doesn't mean he is "lucky". Reverse the sexes, or think about Penn State. (And for the record, she seduced me, doesn't work when it is a 12 year old and fifty year old).
It is to Sebold's credit that in this memoir she doesn't come across as particularly likable or admirable. Nor does she to want the reader's admiration or liking or, more importantly, pity. She doesn't want any of these things. She describes what is and what was. This is important, as important as those inspirational stories that we read in school. Everyday is as important as insipirational, especially when, considering the recent STATS, such attacks are, sadly, an everyday occurance.
Second up date as of 12/2/2021 - Sebold has issued an apology. here. Memoir pulled for redrafting to include the exoneration.
Rape is at once both a simple and complext subject. Regardless of the victim and rapist, it ties, cuts, right to the heart of our views about gender. It is impossible to step this, and it has been used to inspire terror and as a form of punishment.
It should be note that before I read this book, I had read the jezebel article about [b:You Deserve Nothing|9777374|You Deserve Nothing|Alexander Maksik|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1381681445l/9777374._SY75_.jpg|14667081], to which Ms. Sebold is connected. My reading of this book is most likely affected by that article.
Sebold's story starts with an act that despite its violence, its illegality, is simple. Simple because most acts are, because it is simply violent, because it is simply wrong. Sebold's graphic description of her rape makes the reader at once a unwilling quasi voyager while shattering and subverting all the romance novel fantasies.
The complex follows afterward as Sebold details not only her reaction, but those of the police, the lawyers, her friends, her family, her community's (both college and home) reaction to her rape. This is both raw and compelling because it touches at the complex issues that lie at the hear of any reaction to rape.
Even though Sebold's rape happened in 1981, all of what she deals with can still be found today. No, I'm not talking about just where rape is used as punishment or where women are killed by thier family or where women get thier virginity tested upon arrest. I'm talking every where. Here in Philadelphia, a female judge threw out rape charges because the woman who brought the charges had arranged to have sex for money with two of the men who "ran a train on her" (the total number was over five); therefore, according to the judge, she couldn't be raped, just robbed, and anyway she was asking for it. Even in "civilized" or "modern" countries, the victim, no matter how innocent faces accusation - what were you doing there, how were you dressed and so on. Society wants to blame him or her. Yes, him. Just because a young teenage boy sleeps with his teacher doesn't mean he is "lucky". Reverse the sexes, or think about Penn State. (And for the record, she seduced me, doesn't work when it is a 12 year old and fifty year old).
It is to Sebold's credit that in this memoir she doesn't come across as particularly likable or admirable. Nor does she to want the reader's admiration or liking or, more importantly, pity. She doesn't want any of these things. She describes what is and what was. This is important, as important as those inspirational stories that we read in school. Everyday is as important as insipirational, especially when, considering the recent STATS, such attacks are, sadly, an everyday occurance.
This was a reread for me for book group. I initially read it when Lovely Bones was published and revisiting it this many years later, I still felt the same. This is a bold, brave book to write, a very important but and so incredibly difficult to read. I recommend Missoula as a similar read that follows many victim’s stories.
I did not hate this memoir, but it was not the best I've ever written. I admire Alice as a person after what happened to her; she was so strong, so straight forward. She got things done. I admire her for living through rape because I would not have survived afterwards likes she did.
However, the story and the way it was told wasn't the best. Her thoughts were jumbled often, the passages being slightly disorganized. Sometimes she would info dump with information that I didn't care that much to know. Other times she would say something that was supposed to relate to the next passage, but I did not connect the two in my mind. Her descriptions were fine, but she was very factual.
I would like to know how she met her husband, if she and her sister ever got close, and many other things. I want to know more. The end left me, the reader, at a cliffhanger. :P
All in all, it was a fine book.
Not written entirely well, but it was not bad. I'm glad I didn't hate it because it's my AP English book. I actually have lots of ideas for the project-except I can't find 15 pictures that have to do with it! It would be nice to find pictures of her as a young teen, or her case in the newspaper, pictures of friends or family, so on. Oh well.
Oh yeah, you might cry.
However, the story and the way it was told wasn't the best. Her thoughts were jumbled often, the passages being slightly disorganized. Sometimes she would info dump with information that I didn't care that much to know. Other times she would say something that was supposed to relate to the next passage, but I did not connect the two in my mind. Her descriptions were fine, but she was very factual.
I would like to know how she met her husband, if she and her sister ever got close, and many other things. I want to know more. The end left me, the reader, at a cliffhanger. :P
All in all, it was a fine book.
Not written entirely well, but it was not bad. I'm glad I didn't hate it because it's my AP English book. I actually have lots of ideas for the project-except I can't find 15 pictures that have to do with it! It would be nice to find pictures of her as a young teen, or her case in the newspaper, pictures of friends or family, so on. Oh well.
Oh yeah, you might cry.
I edited my review after the story broke about the wrongful conviction.
challenging
emotional
tense
medium-paced
Questo libro è una vera e propria mazzata.
Il racconto dello stupro subito dall'autrice quando aveva diciotto anni, e delle sue successive battaglie.
Le battaglie con chi le stava intorno, che la vedeva solo come quella dello stupro: tutti che parlavano di lei, tutti che le si avvicinavano come se la conoscessero, tutti che ne volevano un pezzo.
Le battaglie con chi le era vicino, e che non era in grado di aiutarla in questa situazione: dalle amiche imbarazzate alla surrealità della sua famiglia, che era sempre stata molto particolare e che lo era stata ancora di più in quest'occasione.
Le battaglie contro il suo stupratore: prima quella fisica nel primo capitolo, quando la ragazza viene malmenata, intimidita e stuprata; e poi quella giudiziaria, contro lui e contro i suoi avvocati.
E qui, oltre all'orrore per l'accaduto e alla rabbi, proviamo incredulità, indignazione, disgusto.
Il trattamento riservato alla ragazza stuprata è inqualificabile, e in questo caso viste le circostanze "fortunate" (aggressore di colore con precedenti, ragazza vergine vestita in maniera non provocante, studentessa di una buona università privata, prove tangibili della violenza fisica e della minaccia armata) aveva contro solamente gli avvocati difensori: la polizia, le giurie, i giudici sono dalla sua parte. E ugualmente non si può non essere nauseati dalle descrizioni delle udienze e delle testimonianze, dal suo essere messa sulla graticola, sotto torchio. Non si può non condividere il suo odio per l'uomo e per i suoi difensori.
E vale la pena notare che questo non era dovuto al fatto che si parla di eventi di quasi quarant'anni fa, è quello che succede sempre, anche ora. Non per nulla, di solito le vittime non denunciano. E anche qui, nel libro, la polizia rimane sorpresa che Alice resista, che tiri avanti, che si presenti alle udienze e combatta in aula. La ammirano, la supportano, per loro è una sorta di eroina.
E lo è.
Perché poi c'è la battaglia più difficile, quella con sé stessa.
Inizialmente decide di mostrarsi forte, per le amiche e per i famigliari, per dimostrare che può sopravvivere, che è forte, che non si lascia abbattere da questo.
Ma lo stupro, lo spettro di quello che è successo, è sempre con lei, la accompagna come un aura. Quando lo stupro non è richiamato da chi le sta intorno, è lei a richiamarlo.
Pensa di aver superato la cosa, ma il danno è profondo, più di quanto possa immaginare.
E passeranno molti anni prima che riesca a riconoscere questa sua condizione, passando da fasi in cui sembra aver superato tutto a fasi autodistruttive o di ricadute nel panico.
Un libro che devasta, che tiene incollati e che fa oggettivamente star male.
Il racconto dello stupro subito dall'autrice quando aveva diciotto anni, e delle sue successive battaglie.
Le battaglie con chi le stava intorno, che la vedeva solo come quella dello stupro: tutti che parlavano di lei, tutti che le si avvicinavano come se la conoscessero, tutti che ne volevano un pezzo.
Le battaglie con chi le era vicino, e che non era in grado di aiutarla in questa situazione: dalle amiche imbarazzate alla surrealità della sua famiglia, che era sempre stata molto particolare e che lo era stata ancora di più in quest'occasione.
Le battaglie contro il suo stupratore: prima quella fisica nel primo capitolo, quando la ragazza viene malmenata, intimidita e stuprata; e poi quella giudiziaria, contro lui e contro i suoi avvocati.
E qui, oltre all'orrore per l'accaduto e alla rabbi, proviamo incredulità, indignazione, disgusto.
Il trattamento riservato alla ragazza stuprata è inqualificabile, e in questo caso viste le circostanze "fortunate" (aggressore di colore con precedenti, ragazza vergine vestita in maniera non provocante, studentessa di una buona università privata, prove tangibili della violenza fisica e della minaccia armata) aveva contro solamente gli avvocati difensori: la polizia, le giurie, i giudici sono dalla sua parte. E ugualmente non si può non essere nauseati dalle descrizioni delle udienze e delle testimonianze, dal suo essere messa sulla graticola, sotto torchio. Non si può non condividere il suo odio per l'uomo e per i suoi difensori.
E vale la pena notare che questo non era dovuto al fatto che si parla di eventi di quasi quarant'anni fa, è quello che succede sempre, anche ora. Non per nulla, di solito le vittime non denunciano. E anche qui, nel libro, la polizia rimane sorpresa che Alice resista, che tiri avanti, che si presenti alle udienze e combatta in aula. La ammirano, la supportano, per loro è una sorta di eroina.
E lo è.
Perché poi c'è la battaglia più difficile, quella con sé stessa.
Inizialmente decide di mostrarsi forte, per le amiche e per i famigliari, per dimostrare che può sopravvivere, che è forte, che non si lascia abbattere da questo.
Ma lo stupro, lo spettro di quello che è successo, è sempre con lei, la accompagna come un aura. Quando lo stupro non è richiamato da chi le sta intorno, è lei a richiamarlo.
Pensa di aver superato la cosa, ma il danno è profondo, più di quanto possa immaginare.
E passeranno molti anni prima che riesca a riconoscere questa sua condizione, passando da fasi in cui sembra aver superato tutto a fasi autodistruttive o di ricadute nel panico.
Un libro che devasta, che tiene incollati e che fa oggettivamente star male.